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How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by spaggyy(m): 3:31am On Aug 14, 2017
FortuneTeller:


This is similar to my marriage except I'm no longer interested in my husband sexually. The lack of good quality sex turned me away from him. We are just good friends. However I don't like porn. I need the real thing. So I will just meet a nice guy and go from there. Please don't kill anyone. It's better to leave or have an affair.

Can I be ur friend?

I have one or two things to share with you
08067984710
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by spaggyy(m): 3:31am On Aug 14, 2017
FortuneTeller:


This is similar to my marriage except I'm no longer interested in my husband sexually. The lack of good quality sex turned me away from him. We are just good friends. However I don't like porn. I need the real thing. So I will just meet a nice guy and go from there. Please don't kill anyone. It's better to leave or have an affair.

Can I be ur friend?

I have one or two things to share with you
08067984710 Whatsapp
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Vutseck(m): 3:36am On Aug 14, 2017
if you use any possible tricks to lure a man into marriage you will surly regret it when he realizes he made a mistake marrying you


you either walk out of the marriage or kill him and go to jail

.
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Nobody: 3:37am On Aug 14, 2017
spaggyy:


Can I be ur friend?

I have one or two things to share with you
08067984710 Whatsapp

No. Please go away sir.

3 Likes

Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Nobody: 3:43am On Aug 14, 2017
Brokenangel2:
A lot of people still don't understand what I meant when I said I've tried everything to make him open up. About making meals... I have a job which gets me back home on time to get food ready. How did he start sleeping in the sitting room? I can't explain it, from watching movies late into the night to "I had a stressful day, just allow me to chill a little here". I can't count how many times I came to wake him to join me inside. He comes in sometimes, other times he gets angry and ask me to leave him. He placed a password on his phone years back, I did all I could to make him see reasons why it's not necessary yet he refused and will rather pick a fight. Initially he calls to inform me he'll be home late if something comes up. Now he doesn't even tell me his whereabouts. I should get back in shape? I'm in shape already.. . I wasn't joking when I said most single ladies have nothing on me. I begged him to join all these social platforms but a lot has changed since he eventually did. I've lost count of waking him up even at night to talk but he won't let that happen, he'll rather humiliate me. Stop asking me to look back and retrace this whole thing. I've done that a gazillion times, yet I can't pinpoint anything. I'm not a saint but the truth is that my parents prepared me for marriage. I came into it with a mindset of making it perfect. I came into it with the knowledge of how to make a man happy for the rest of his life.. . But it's heartbreaking to say I married a man who doesn't need any of that. How else am I supposed to know what the problem is? This is killing me

I understand. I feel like we are kindred sisters. Does he have any money? If so, take every bit you can and enjoy yourself. Spare no expense on yourself and your children. Travel if it's affordable to do so. If he has a lot, open a private bank account and put as much as you can in it.
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by peacettw: 3:55am On Aug 14, 2017
addictiv:
Firstly you have to understand that happiness comes from within, despite your predicament you have to find things to be thankful and grateful for...All is not lost.
I can understand your need for attention, but I will only give you to focus on what you can control and ignore what u can't control. You can't control his actions or decisions, but you have absolute control over your actions, decisions and attitude. I think u should focus on becoming your best self. Not just because you want him to retrace his steps but because u owe it to you. Maybe he comes back , maybe he doesn't, it doesn't mean you should stagnate your life and potentials waiting for attention and validation. You have to find a way to thrive ..

@op...please stick to this advice cos it works like a charm. You were once single and happy before you met your husband, why then are you making him or anyone else a vital ingredient of your emotional state. You alone should have that absolute control over how you feel. It's hard to attain this but once you do, everything else ceases to become irritants.

Most women and men go through what you are experiencing. Initially it's all about pleasing your spouse and investing your emotions expecting some positive feedback. Alas when we don't get that, we become angry, bitter and even ready to take our own lives and end all the pain.

...... And then, it happens. One day, you wake up to realise that you have been a complete fool. You are leaving on borrowed time and what remains ultimate is your happiness which must be attained irregardless of the world crumbling around you. Your entire priority becomes you. Trust me when you get there, you will easily learn to be calm, understanding, to forgive and most importantly forget. You are more than prepared to face the world with whatever it throws at you.

Religion fizzles away as the answer to everything. You are truly at peace with the chaos and can enjoy moments of sanity when it does come. I like to think that people who attain this state are those who have gone through hell and back. Trust me, one day, you will look at your posts and laugh out loud for having allowed yourself to be bothered at all in the first place. I know this cos I am still laughing at mine.

I am rambling now. I wish for you to be happy. Please know that nothing can give you that, not even religion but only you. Work on being happy, everything else should come second. Later

5 Likes

Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by spaggyy(m): 4:54am On Aug 14, 2017
FortuneTeller:


No. Please go away sir.

OK, thanks for at least responding... Have a great week ahead
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by jaddel21: 6:27am On Aug 14, 2017
Tell it to God mam....hes able to bear your burden...even you would be suprised at how things wouod turn around...also look for a way to communicate to your husband...God would help you.
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by jaddel21: 6:30am On Aug 14, 2017
Brokenangel2:
It's almost 12 midnight and I heard the door to the sitting room open. He walked in and of course slumps into one of the sofa where he'll sleep till tomorrow. It's either the sitting room or the children's room. This life... .. .. I was barely 23yrs old when we got married and he's few years older. I actually thought he was all over me, now I look back and believe all that was pretence. Where have I gone wrong? I love this guy in a manner that makes me doubt my own sanity. Yes.. . I doubt if all is well with my brain. It amazes me why I still put up with a man who doesn't deserve even a prostitute. A man who has no regard for me, not even an iota of it. A man who thinks he is alpha and omega. I literally adores him, even after two kids in our marriage I break necks when I walk the streets. I am neater and sexier than most single ladies out there. I respect him, I'm a good cook, educated, brilliant, smart and beautiful. Nobody who knows me will believe I'm passing through hell in the hands of a man I love with all my heart. This life... It's damn funny how even my female friends jokingly ask me if my hubby let's me sleep at night. Who will believe me that we've been intimate just twice thrice this year. Those were even in the early months. This is not the first time he is depriving me of intimacy for months. It's just that for the first time... I'm seeing possibilities of me having an affair. Did I just say that? *sobs* Me of all women? The one who prides in her fidelity as a married woman? The same woman who brags that even at gunpoint, no other man will have his way? The same woman who says even for a trillion pounds? Hahaha this life is really unfair. The once virtuous woman now stays up late into the night watching pornographic films while masturbating. How I feel like stabbing myself to death each time. The guilt on my face when I look at my innocent kids sleeping peacefully on my matrimonial bed which I now share with them. My husband is now my flatmate. Now that God has taken us to a height of relaxation, he chose to spite me. I've tried all I can to breach the gap between us but to no avail. I've been the one begging for affection and even sex. To hell with sex, I can do without it for years but God knows lack of affection will be my death. I keep telling him that he'll look back one day and regret all of this, it's one thing I'm sure of. I didn't force myself on him to marry me. I didn't tie him with any pregnancy. Why me of all people? I love my kids more than life itself, a thousand times I've made up my mind to walk out. I'm not scared of facing life without him, he knows I'm a legit hustler who can place food on the table for myself and the kids. I'm more scared of becoming everything I swore never to be. I'm more scared of even killing him, myself or the kids out of depression one day. I'm so confused, I'm a shadow of myself. I'm breaking each passing day. I'm loosing hope each passing day. The worst of it is that he doesn't believe in communication. He just won't let that happen. How do I let him know he is slowly rewriting all the plans we had for ourselves and the kids? How do I let him know these kids we both adore will suffer most anyday I lose grip and decide to let go? How do I let him know that I wake up some nights, walk over to where he is sleeping, stare at him with so much anguish, pain and tears... While fighting back the urge to just stab him to death. How do I let him know that the true love I have for him is gradually turning into pure hatred? How do I let him know that I'm not sure of the next thing I might do? How do I open his eyes to see what those strange women have succeeded in doing to us? No ooooo I refuse to join you in the madness, adultery is one sin I've sworn NEVER to commit. I'll take a walk. I don't even know if I'm making sense at all but my chest is sooooooo heavy tonight.
Tell it to God mam...hes able to bear your burden...also look for a way to communicate how you feel to your husband...God would help you.

1 Like

Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by femi4: 6:53am On Aug 14, 2017
Brokenangel2:
I just came back to see if anyone took out time to drop a word or two for me. I really appreciate your inputs. Prayers? I'm ashamed to say I'm tired of praying. We don't even have our morning devotions again. I'm even afraid that this atmosphere is unhealthy for my kids. I don't even feel like going to church today, though my beautiful new dress was ironed yesterday. I'm just tired of smiling outside when I'm actually dying inside. I wish this is a dream or novel. That's my life ooo, last night I felt like ending it all, this morning I feel like holding on whether he shows me affection or not. Loneliness is my best friend. You know what? I'll appreciate it if you all share this story on every social platform you know, especially Facebook. He's active there, he will read it somehow. He will know I wrote this, he just knows how I can pen down my feelings. God bless you all.
Don't worry we ll help you to share it. Pls don't kill yourself for the sake of your kids. You wouldn't want another woman to replace you as their mother
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by eyinjuege: 7:32am On Aug 14, 2017
Brokenangel2:
A lot of people still don't understand what I meant when I said I've tried everything to make him open up. About making meals... I have a job which gets me back home on time to get food ready. How did he start sleeping in the sitting room? I can't explain it, from watching movies late into the night to "I had a stressful day, just allow me to chill a little here". I can't count how many times I came to wake him to join me inside. He comes in sometimes, other times he gets angry and ask me to leave him. He placed a password on his phone years back, I did all I could to make him see reasons why it's not necessary yet he refused and will rather pick a fight. Initially he calls to inform me he'll be home late if something comes up. Now he doesn't even tell me his whereabouts. I should get back in shape? I'm in shape already.. . I wasn't joking when I said most single ladies have nothing on me. I begged him to join all these social platforms but a lot has changed since he eventually did. I've lost count of waking him up even at night to talk but he won't let that happen, he'll rather humiliate me. Stop asking me to look back and retrace this whole thing. I've done that a gazillion times, yet I can't pinpoint anything. I'm not a saint but the truth is that my parents prepared me for marriage. I came into it with a mindset of making it perfect. I came into it with the knowledge of how to make a man happy for the rest of his life.. . But it's heartbreaking to say I married a man who doesn't need any of that. How else am I supposed to know what the problem is? This is killing me

Your husband is having an affair and is probably in love with the new woman/ his ex.
Its possibly being going on for years, and it will be almost impossible to break away from her. They may even have children together. She may be older, not as beautiful as you, but he loves her. Maybe he couldn't marry her for reasons such as tribe etc, or he married you to spite her when they had a quarrel in the past only to discover he played himself, and will always love her.

Atimes, $#it happens, when you discover you didn't marry your soul mate.
The issue of Prince Charles,Diana and Camilla comes to mind.
People face such issues everyday regardless of social status.

My advice to you is to live your life, and don't waste your youthful years pinning for a man who doesn't even care.

It's time to start thinking of yourself now.

What is the worst possibility that could happen? Maybe he has children outside with a woman he loves? Maybe he will ask for a divorce himself after a while, so he can finally marry her? Then prepare for that scenario.

What will you do if such a thing happens? What have you got in place to protect yourself and secure your children in the eventuality of such? Career wise, how's it going for you? Do everything possible to make sure you can stand on your own. Have you got your own investments or properties? Why not set that goal? It doesn't have to be in an expensive place. Just start something, and go gradually from there

All the warning signs are there. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.

9 Likes

Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Lanceslot(m): 8:02am On Aug 14, 2017
This is a very sad situation and happens mostly when couples didn't take time to know their selves very well before jumping into marriage. He/she ends up in marriage before realising that he/she is not exactly what he/she wanted in a marriage and by then it would've been too late and difficult to decide what to do next. It happened to my ex who was so desperate for marriage that she ended up marrying a man she later labelled the 'opposite of me' and ran away from her matrimonial home 1 1/2 year into the marriage. Op from experience, one thing I understand about this whole issue is that when its over, its over. No two ways about it, all you need to do is face the reality, pick yourself up and move on.
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Gloriagee(f): 8:17am On Aug 14, 2017
Or another man....

Nothing wey person no go see
WiredLeggings:
OP, after reading your posts in this thread, it is clear that your husband has another woman he is seeing. Please don't let anyone tell you it is your fault. He's responsible for his actions. Stay strong.

3 Likes

Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Nobody: 9:08am On Aug 14, 2017
Gloriagee:
Or another man....

Nothing wey person no go see

That's true. He could be a homosexual. He may even be addicted to pornography himself.

1 Like

Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Rukkydelta(f): 12:47pm On Aug 14, 2017
Anytime I see something like this I get more scared of getting married
May God help us all
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by awodivictor(m): 12:55pm On Aug 14, 2017
Dear Broken Angel, I will like to please beg you not to take any wrong step that you wil regret. Porn/Maturbation is wrong, having an affair is wrong, killing your husband is wrong, quitting the marriage is wrong. Why dont you take this case to your heavenly daddy?, why dont you just go a weep out your heart to him? why dont you trust him to recover your marriage back. Pls and pls dont let the devil have his way, two wongs dont make a right. Your faith is simply being tried and I am sure you can win this fight. Remember, God, your children, your future, and say a no to the devil. I am sincerely concerned and wish I could contact
you but I dont know the rules of Nairaland whether they allow exchange of contact. Check my profile and signature

2 Likes

Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by ststyreal(f): 1:48pm On Aug 14, 2017
graceberry:



Hello my dear,, tears came rushing out of my eye as i read ur store, marriage in this our time has become war which we all women has to fight and win.. strange women.. hmmm .... side chick, i place curse on all of this who are bent on destroying a beautiful marrige..

I believe you must have been seeing some sign before all this escalates. But you dint bother to address it on time.

Same thing almost happened to me but once i noticed a slight change i prayed to God to revealed all hidden secret and also i went on checking his phone and i found out it was even an Edo lady,,

Am happy my husband has come back to his senses after i confronted him with evidences

and dont forget men will always be men

That is why i still insist on all married women to always snoop into thier thier husbands phone and see what is happening with then before it is too late.. because i still do it till today

Some people may say i want to give myself Hypertension, fine it better i give my self small Hypertension and addresses the issue early than ignoring the signs and end up having biggest hypertension


also if you have not been giving him enough respect pls start doing that because men loves it so much, just be humble to him and see him change

i promise you that anybody can change for good



Jesus help us

My dear with prayer all thing are possible


So my dear you re to blame you actually ignored all those sign and now it has become worse

Please go on ur kneel m fast and pray to God, and you will see how he shall turn it around fir you

I suggest you start watching chnnel 390 on dstv and see lot of story like urs changed for the best, go to synagogue Church of all nation and tell God ,,, prayer answer

May God helpnyou re build your home and please dont kill him ooooo,u will end up regretting that

Prayer is the key

Also if you need someone to talk to send me a mail

Well said madam, but I wouldn't agree with you 100% especially in the area of snooping into your husband's phone as a means of checkmating him because some smart Hubby oftenly delete whatever could give you traces or clue to their infidelity, hence I don't check, in fact I have stop checking for my own sanity and peace of mind but resolve to watching his character and actions. Only spiritual warfare interms of midnight prayers to God could help one chase away those demonic home wreckers. I always sing it as a song for God to put divine hatred between my hubby and any woman lusting after him or the one he is lusting after. Prayers does wonders my people. Marriage I tell you isn't a child's play, so many ups and down but in all may God direct the steps of our husbands. As for checking of phones, I no dey check because i no get the liver and ever since I stopped checking in other to find an incriminating stuff in his phone, i have got peace and i choose rather to watch and pray. For those who can check and are ready to take whatever they see, its ok and good, but for me, na only me advice my self to stop checking because even if I catch am, wetin I go do am, na sorry him go still tell you but with my spiritual and heavenly weapon, only him go confess and repent forever. The word of Gods says "what God has joined together let no man put Asunder", hence @Op, my advice is simply for you to remind God of his word and invite him into your marriage, this has been working for me whenever I am going through a turbulent time, and watch God handles the rest. Pray until something happens!!!! I don't know if I have made any sensible contribution shaa

1 Like

Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by DeeMain(m): 8:04pm On Aug 14, 2017
I'm really touched by your very painful story. My question is what's your husband's upbringing like? What was the relationship between him and his parents like? What was the relationship between his parents like? What kind of family did he come from?

I am asking these questions because since he has provided no clue we have to make informed guesses and suppositions. There's is a chance you are dealing with a far deeper issue - a broken man who needs fixing himself.

If he was raised in a deeply dysfunctional home then you've found the roots of the problem.

Dysfunctional parents and homes raise mostly dysfunctional children. Like begets like. You may be dealing with a man incapable of receiving love or loving another. Train a child in the way he should go and when he is grown he will not depart from it.

This may not solve the problem but at least you know what you are dealing with. But if you are lucky a solution may arise from this. A problem diagnosed is half solved.
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Brokenangel2: 8:36pm On Aug 14, 2017
I appreciate all your advice, suggestions and prayers. God knows I'm just weak. I'm weak even in the spirit now. This is not me. God please help me. Life has dealt me a deadly blow. What a life!!!
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by darkandclear26: 8:37pm On Aug 14, 2017
my sister take my point.


there is something that you must stop or quit .
stop talking too much. I mean wawawawawa if you are talking with him. try to respect him more and don't interrupt when he is talking, listen to him and take his instructions without trying to be smarter than him. show more love to his relatives also keep communication with his parents , for instance call his mom or brother when you are having dinner or breakfast, be a nice lady . you shall see your man changing .
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Mumben(f): 12:18pm On Aug 15, 2017
ur story brought tears to my eyes. Pls u need to seperate from him for a while to get ur sanity back. Ur home environment is too toxic at d moment. Be strong and pls dont do smthing u'll regret later. LEAVE ASAP my sister and pls involve ur parents. May God heal ur broken heart
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by gazilion: 2:26pm On Aug 15, 2017
First and foremost, you have added to the problems by engaging in pornography. The devil is not stupid! There is no way you can be watching pornography as a married man/woman and not have a problem in your home. If this is not broken, the spirit of immorality and sexual perversion may just run in your family!!

Do not give in to the devil. Do not give up on your marriage.

Please, break away from sinful habits and go for deliverance.

You will surely have your husband back.

God bless you

Gazilion
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by jaszplus12(m): 4:05pm On Aug 15, 2017
MizzD:
Women have too much to give in marriage and this really bothers me. The moment you get married, you get pressured into having kids. You successfully achieve that, you worry about nurturing them, sometimes career sacrifices are made for these kids. You endure sleepless nights to nuture these kids, and while sacrificing it all, you have to worry about getting your body (Tommy, vagina, what have you) back in shape to prevent your husband from straying. You worry about picking up your career or academics where you left it.

If you're unable to bear kids or choose to delay a little to focus more on your career, you are also at a risk of losing this man to aspiring baby mamas or crazy exes.

You are also expected to bring something to the table hustle with the man, while you perform all wifely duties alongside. Sometimes i think these sacrifices can be so challenging and when a woman is unfortunate to have a husband who doesn't appreciate all that is done to keep it all together, you begin to wonder if it's ever really worth it.

Madam Op, the solution to your problem lies between you two. If your husband does not encourage verbal communication, pls write to him. There's no point reaching out to him via social media when you can pen all these frustrations down for him to read too.

Except you are being punished for a sin or you married a robot, you should demand and get a response / reaction or whatever and then you take it from there. Be firm and sort things out. Demand answers. Be ready to accept and admit your flaws. Address ALL related and unrelated issues that got you both to this stage and get yourself out of this misery. The outcome of your communication will determine your next line of action.

Lastly, if you keep nursing the thoughts of killing anyone, pls stay away from that environment to cool off. We have enough murder cases biko.

er...you started like it's a woman's portion to bear every negative consequence in marriage I hardly swallow that. its funny that when in courtship most ladies ignore lots of red lights and once in their first to shoot from the hips in complain. agreed most men hardly lift a finger to help their wives in domestic chores child care etc but in retrospect it's cause the women themselves don't engage in knowing how a man behaves in these ways before marriage. the outings the gifts and all the vanity keeps ladies blinded till they are in the home then suddenly they are made to do chores and they begin to tell everyone "my hubby does nothing to help with the house work "!
I'm a firm believer in doing things together as man and wife no matter the busy schedule
but lo! most women tend to abuse the situation when hubby begins to help out all the time!
pls find a balance! marriage is sweet only if we kick off on simple and two-into-one foundation
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by jaszplus12(m): 4:22pm On Aug 15, 2017
IMO... you should take the initiative and find time to ask him some salient questions. work business and social questions and tap into the root of his being. he's your hubby therefore you should know his weak and strong points! third party intervention should be the last resort cos even us giving you a shoulder to cry on here cannot truly truly help in the real sense of the word....we only offer advice.
what were the things you guys engaged in as boyfriend/girlfriend things back then? were there pranks you played that you enjoyed? food? games? pictures? find them pray and see what happens!
don't kill anyone
don't do porn
put a smile on your face always cos sometimes a worried look might tell him he's hitting you where it hurts!
good luck
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by jashar(f): 4:41pm On Aug 15, 2017
FortuneTeller:


I don't think it would matter as long as I kept it private and didn't divorce him. I've told him several times but he takes it as a joke. He says I should be careful because HIV is out there.

hi...

anytime i read your comments on this your husband issue, i feel a tug in my heart.... i've heard you say he's a good man.... but the sex isue seems to be the dealbreaker for you.

the irony is, i doubt it's about his religion...i think it's more of an interest thing. he just ain't interested in sex. cuz some of my married female friends that married good Christian guys sometimes tell me that the sex part of marriage can be demanding. in the church i attend, they have a couples fellowship where they discuss all sorts.... my goodness.... embarassed

please don't cheat. forget about your husband now and put God in view. Let the fear of God keep you from sinning. take care.

1 Like

Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by TheSonOfMark(m): 5:26pm On Aug 15, 2017
FortuneTeller:


This is similar to my marriage except[b] I'm no longer interested in my husband sexually [/b]. The lack of good quality sex turned me away from him. We are just good friends. However I don't like porn. I need the real thing. So I will just meet a nice guy and go from there. Please don't kill anyone. It's better to leave or have an affair.

What the...? Little wonder the females who frequent this section are referred to "witches". Breaking homes is your full-time job.
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by djon78(m): 5:36pm On Aug 15, 2017
Brokenangel2:
Do I make our home uncomfortable for him? No!!! How do I know? He kept telling me of how lucky he was to have a wife like me. He says I give him peace that most married men don't have. He sometimes tell me how his friends are amazed when they complain about their wives but he only has positive things to say about me. Can't you people just see? I don't know if there's anything I've done. I don't know where I've gone wrong!!! I'm dying!!! He is all I have. I made him believe he is all to me. Is he taking advantage of my fragile nature? Is he taking advantage of my kind nature? I don't know but God knows

My dear don't give up on prayer and trusting God. Your man has been corrupted by evil company. This is a big trial for you because you were prepared for marriage, you are an upright person and had principle so the negative forces in control of this our world has marked you out for attack and trial, but be strong this too will pass over.

Another thing is this, learn and develop a personal relationship with God. Husbands, wives can fail us, the only best friend you will have is God.

What you are going through is close to what happened in my life. One of the things I have realised about life is that when you are principled ,life sometimes comes against you with great storm, but you will see those unprincipled, life rearly never comes to them, but the only difference with those unprincipled ones there storms when it comes on them, they lose everything maybe even their life.

So my dear be strong, look deep within you, and you will find tremendous strength. Then I used to ask why me, I was sad, sorrowful, but God strengthened me.

And another thing many people need to begin to realise that marriage is not fairytale, marriage comes with so much challenges. People need to have that at the back of their minds. People that were very loving can just change at the snap of finger, nothing is guaranteed, that is the journey of life on the earth.
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Nobody: 5:39pm On Aug 15, 2017
eyinjuege:


Your husband is having an affair and is probably in love with the new woman/ his ex.
Its possibly being going on for years, and it will be almost impossible to break away from her. They may even have children together. She may be older, not as beautiful as you, but he loves her. Maybe he couldn't marry her for reasons such as tribe etc, or he married you to spite her when they had a quarrel in the past only to discover he played himself, and will always love her.

Atimes, $#it happens, when you discover you didn't marry your soul mate.
The issue of Prince Charles,Diana and Camilla comes to mind.
People face such issues everyday regardless of social status.

My advice to you is to live your life, and don't waste your youthful years pinning for a man who doesn't even care.

It's time to start thinking of yourself now.

What is the worst possibility that could happen? Maybe he has children outside with a woman he loves? Maybe he will ask for a divorce himself after a while, so he can finally marry her? Then prepare for that scenario.

What will you do if such a thing happens? What have you got in place to protect yourself and secure your children in the eventuality of such? Career wise, how's it going for you? Do everything possible to make sure you can stand on your own. Have you got your own investments or properties? Why not set that goal? It doesn't have to be in an expensive place. Just start something, and go gradually from there

All the warning signs are there. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.


Practical solutions to marital issues.

Once people say PRAY, PRAY _ it's their way of telling you they have no practical solution to your situation. Thanks for hitting the nail on the head, are you a carpenter cheesy?

2 Likes

Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by djon78(m): 5:49pm On Aug 15, 2017
addictiv:
Firstly you have to understand that happiness comes from within, despite your predicament you have to find things to be thankful and grateful for...All is not lost.
I can understand your need for attention, but I will only give you to focus on what you can control and ignore what u can't control. You can't control his actions or decisions, but you have absolute control over your actions, decisions and attitude. I think u should focus on becoming your best self. Not just because you want him to retrace his steps but because u owe it to you. Maybe he comes back , maybe he doesn't, it doesn't mean you should stagnate your life and potentials waiting for attention and validation. You have to find a way to thrive ..


True Bro. The mistake many people make is that they look on somebody else to make them happy. But the truth is that nobody but you can make you happy but you.

And also many people get into marriage with this fairytale mentality, marriage is serious hard work and challenges just like life is not easy. With the right mindset, one can handle anything that comes their way.
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Nobody: 7:35pm On Aug 15, 2017
jashar:


hi...

anytime i read your comments on this your husband issue, i feel a tug in my heart.... i've heard you say he's a good man.... but the sex isue seems to be the dealbreaker for you.

the irony is, i doubt it's about his religion...i think it's more of an interest thing. he just ain't interested in sex. cuz some of my married female friends that married good Christian guys sometimes tell me that the sex part of marriage can be demanding. in the church i attend, they have a couples fellowship where they discuss all sorts.... my goodness.... embarassed

please don't cheat. forget about your husband now and put God in view. Let the fear of God keep you from sinning. take care.

Thank you for your response, but it is likely I will cheat. I won't suffer for the rest of my life. I didn't get married to be a born again virgin.
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Ranchhoddas: 8:33pm On Aug 15, 2017
FortuneTeller:


I understand. I feel like we are kindred sisters. Does he have any money? If so, take every bit you can and enjoy yourself. Spare no expense on yourself and your children. Travel if it's affordable to do so. If he has a lot, open a private bank account and put as much as you can in it.
What kind of advice is this?
So she should wreck her husband's finances because the marriage has stopped working abi?
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by ebonflexy(m): 4:55am On Aug 16, 2017
YabaLeftist:


Lmfao!

One of your threads comes to mind: "My Sister Married An Impotent Man"

I think I know who it was that married an impotent man. grin

Hmm...it is possible he is suffering from ED, yet instead of working it out with him, the OP probably said something stupid with her mouth that cut him deeply to the point that his very soul just refuses to have anything to do with her.

Women can damage men like that with their mouths when they run it foolishly, and very few subjects make a man switch off than insulting his manhood. Women should just NEVER EVER do this. It is akin to verbal RAPE.

Chances are she won't even know when she did it. I sense she is the proud type herself given how she spent several paragraphs talking about herself in the opening post.

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