₦airaland Forum

smartty68:
She has joined Christian Women Association (CWO)

The man took a wise step by moving out. Imagine him raising his hands on her and then the world would tag him as a woman-beater and a devil.

Guy your Mom isn't ready to change. Ask Buhari

The woman obviously has w boyfriend.

My brother, I sympathize with you, your family disintegration can only be saved by divine intervention. Don't push your mom too far, be kind and respectful to your father no matter the circumstance. But stay close to your mom.

GoodFaith:
If a son or daughter is blaming one of the parent for the problem at home
95% the person the son or daughter is blaming is the cause of the problem
don't be fooled

I understood you but with what d Op stated. You can't completely blame the woman in this matter, larger % of the blame is from the man. She's trying to balance both but one will never equate the other. Let me tell you something about woman. once you impregnate another woman in a relationship, the trust is completely gone forever coupled with a man who doesn't know his responsibility. The woman will never take him serious ibeg

BrotherJesu:
My mum is very beautiful, and successful yoruba woman but dosent regard her husband a bit,
Trouble got out hands when she got her first car and her husband who is an engineer doesnt have one yet,she then became pompous and over protective of the car that even those around; church and family knew that popxy doesnt own the car. Mumc is an established fashion designer and holds several positions in Nigerian Union ofTailors, as a result of this she comes home very late not givin any excus. As time goes by she stopped cooking him as she is always busy with work or travelling on state sponsored trips she does not bother to notify her husband whenever she is travelling.
There was a day i was so angry kus even my friends have started to take note and it becoming embarrasing, so i spoke with her, while talking she broke down in tears, she said she is the one responsible for 80 percent of the house expenses that popcy recieves 400k monthly bt always complaining of bin broke, she said other things i cant really type here.
This went own for a long time, they soon became enemies in the same house everyone going there way doing things differently, admist all these popsy has never rised his voice on her even when mumcy somethings did very annoing stuffs.
In the heat of this, popsy impregnated another babe although i have never seen the woman nor the child since birth which is close to two years. He apologised and promised to never bring them to interfere in our lives.
However this literary set our house on fire. While mumc was gettin over the haertbraek, she promised to get back at him which i didnt undesrand then.
Early this year, mumc bought 2 cars at ones, i was very surprised as she normally tell me her moves, she gave me one while she uses the other one. What broke myy hear was that she kept the one she was using before under cover when i asked her why she didnt allow popxy have that one she said she he should go buy his own and warned me that the day she will see him use my car na problem .
For sometime now she has been joking about moving us out of the country without his knowlege.
Popxy right now has facilitated his tramsfer to delta state.
Now they dont even see neida do they communicate again
the whole thing is driving me insane as i dont see popman coming to the house again pls guys help a brother what do i do
excuse my typo and coherence.

It unfortunate that ur mum use her hand to break her home. In marriage, each couple hv to b conscious of finance, and immediately one start to separate money from marriage, saying this is my money and that is ur money. hmm, if care isn't taken, that marriage will collapse.
it unfortunate that ur mum allow firm to control her. That what the bible said" money is the root of all evil " ur mum allowed money to control her. Ur father pregantting a girl was as a result of ur mum denial her sex.
Ur mum hv bad influence. her friends must hv advice her not to mind ur father, and she will regret the action.
And on ur own side, ur mum is influencing ur with gift, money and making u to feel comfortable, it is time that, u tell ur mum, the truth. That marriage as u hv seen has collapse. what ur seeing is just shadow.

BrotherJesu:
My mum is very beautiful, and successful yoruba woman but dosent regard her husband a bit,
Trouble got out hands when she got her first car and her husband who is an engineer doesnt have one yet,she then became pompous and over protective of the car that even those around; church and family knew that popxy doesnt own the car. Mumc is an established fashion designer and holds several positions in Nigerian Union ofTailors, as a result of this she comes home very late not givin any excus. As time goes by she stopped cooking him as she is always busy with work or travelling on state sponsored trips she does not bother to notify her husband whenever she is travelling.
There was a day i was so angry kus even my friends have started to take note and it becoming embarrasing, so i spoke with her, while talking she broke down in tears, she said she is the one responsible for 80 percent of the house expenses that popcy recieves 400k monthly bt always complaining of bin broke, she said other things i cant really type here.
This went own for a long time, they soon became enemies in the same house everyone going there way doing things differently, admist all these popsy has never rised his voice on her even when mumcy somethings did very annoing stuffs.
In the heat of this, popsy impregnated another babe although i have never seen the woman nor the child since birth which is close to two years. He apologised and promised to never bring them to interfere in our lives.
However this literary set our house on fire. While mumc was gettin over the haertbraek, she promised to get back at him which i didnt undesrand then.
Early this year, mumc bought 2 cars at ones, i was very surprised as she normally tell me her moves, she gave me one while she uses the other one. What broke myy hear was that she kept the one she was using before under cover when i asked her why she didnt allow popxy have that one she said she he should go buy his own and warned me that the day she will see him use my car na problem .
For sometime now she has been joking about moving us out of the country without his knowlege.
Popxy right now has facilitated his tramsfer to delta state.
Now they dont even see neida do they communicate again
the whole thing is driving me insane as i dont see popman coming to the house again pls guys help a brother what do i do
excuse my typo and coherence.

At the first,dad is living an highly irresponsible life with such amount and yet not taking up his responsibility, na women dey chop him money,I love ur mum...He is not taking up his responsibility and its bad
At the second , I support her actions,just pray for her and live pup alone to live his life,he has chosen his path

larrypourl:
I understood you but with what d Op stated. You can't completely blame the woman in this matter, larger % of the blame is from the man. She's trying to balance both but one will never equate the other. Let me tell you something about woman. once you impregnate another woman in a relationship, the trust is completely gone forever coupled with a man who doesn't know his responsibility. The woman will never take him serious ibeg

U would not understand the action that made the man impregnant the girl. the mum denial him sex and start to mis behave. so what do u except. This misunderstanding didn't start today. both of then has endure it for long b/4 their kids become aware.

drjustice17:
It unfortunate that ur mum use her hand to break her home. In marriage, each couple hv to b conscious of finance, and immediately one start to separate money from marriage, saying this is my money and that is ur money. hmm, if care isn't taken, that marriage will collapse.
it unfortunate that ur mum allow firm to control her. [b]That what the bible said" money is the root of all evil " ur mum allowed money to control her. Ur father pregantting a girl was as a result of ur mum denial her sex.
[/b]Ur mum hv bad influence. her friends must hv advice her not to mind ur father, and she will regret the action.
And on ur own side, ur mum is influencing ur with gift, money and making u to feel comfortable, it is time that, u tell ur mum, the truth. That marriage as u hv seen has collapse. what ur seeing is just shadow.

I understand that she did wrong here,but crying and opening up to him simply means there are some things she's been enduring, she can't just change like DT....

eyinjuege:
I don't see a car as such a valuable to attach so much sentiments to. That's me personally.
The only reason she probably instructed her son not to allow his father drive the car she bought with her money is so that he doesn't carry his new baby mama and child in it.
I feel that's fair enough, as most people will not want their wives to carry her lovers in a car they bought for her.
So it's not really about turning the OP against his father.
Allowing the father drive her car (and he'll definitely carry his new family in it) is just like rubbing salt/pepper on a fresh wound.
The Ops mother has her blames, but so does the father.
The only reason the OP still has any respect for his father is because his mother is successful enough to meet all his needs, so he has never really experienced any lack.
If all his mother's hustles didn't pay off, and he's had to struggle to feed, clothe, pay school fees despite his father earning reasonably well I'm very sure he would probably be saying a different story about his dad.
Like I said, hunger is no man's friend, and those who struggled with irresponsible parents are the best to give an objective view of this. I see a lot of threads on NL attesting to such.

God bless you for that piece. My ex family was like that. D mother build their house, pay about 5 children's school fees, accommodation, every year, from her petty business cos of d pressure on her, her business collapsed and started all over again and the father makes money too but will never send ordinary pocket money to the children. The man travelled one time and the woman never allowed him into her house again. Imagine the man that always complain of being broke went ahead and rent apartment in magodo, 3 bedroom flat when he's the only one staying alone and paid 1.1m for 2 years. where did he get the money from? some men are just cruel.
People just advice but once you have a friend or family members in such mess then you'll understand how it feels.

Sebastine1606:
I understand that she did wrong here,but crying and opening up to him simply means there are some things she's been enduring, she can't just change like DT....

The family is gone. Only God can restore that marriage

The mom is trying to buy the support of the son
by giving him a car

eyinjuege:
I don't see a car as such a valuable to attach so much sentiments to. That's me personally.
The only reason she probably instructed her son not to allow his father drive the car she bought with her money is so that he doesn't carry his new baby mama and child in it.
I feel that's fair enough, as most people will not want their wives to carry her lovers in a car they bought for her.
So it's not really about turning the OP against his father.
Allowing the father drive her car (and he'll definitely carry his new family in it) is just like rubbing salt/pepper on a fresh wound.
The Ops mother has her blames, but so does the father.
The only reason the OP still has any respect for his father is because his mother is successful enough to meet all his needs, so he has never really experienced any lack.
If all his mother's hustles didn't pay off, and he's had to struggle to feed, clothe, pay school fees despite his father earning reasonably well I'm very sure he would probably be saying a different story about his dad.
Like I said, hunger is no man's friend, and those who struggled with irresponsible parents are the best to give an objective view of this. I see a lot of threads on NL attesting to such.

Exactly. He can open a thread to blame his mum overlooking his dad's irresponsibility cos the woman is making sure all his needs are being met. For him not to know she is the one taking care of 80% of their financial needs even though his Dad earns well means she has been trying to cover up for the man.

If his mum was jobless or earned peanuts and he has a Dad who earns 400K monthly but waiting for his wife to get him a car (as supported by a weird thinking child) and always claiming he had no money, he would have realized that there are two sides to life.

Your family get money oh..

Stupid comment, but worth saying. This may sound stupid, but maybe we should hear from your mumsy too.
It clearly shows you're sidding with your dad here.

I've seen and read about divorce and separation usually the kids can't do or have a say in it. But you can influence a change talk to pops and moms seperately talk to people who they both highly respect. Pray to God.

This case is not natural again and it requires supernatural to solve it. The only supernatural way is Prayer. If you can not pray for them, it is better you keep looking unless you get burn.
There a lot of things that only your mum and dad can answer. Your dad salary may not be up to 100k and your mum can exaggerated. Only your dad can answer that.
Can income from tailoring job buy cars just like that ?
They have a lot of questions to answer, just keep pray for them and mind your language in this trial period

larrypourl:
God bless you for that piece. My ex family was like that. D mother build their house, pay about 5 children's school fees, accommodation, every year, from her petty business cos of d pressure on her, her business collapsed and started all over again and the father makes money too but will never send ordinary pocket money to the children. The man travelled one time and the woman never allowed him into her house again. Imagine the man that always complain of being broke went ahead and rent apartment in magodo, 3 bedroom flat when he's the only one staying alone and paid 1.1m for 2 years. where did he get the money from? some men are just cruel.
People just advice but once you have a friend or family members in such mess then you'll understand how it feels.

No,some men are not only cruel,but stupid,irresponsible and an infidels
Stupid fellows of a man,I have seen a man who earns below #200,000,sent his entire family of a wife and 2 kids abroad and still here in the country paying debts..... Are those not men?,I will like to imitate good steps ooh
Habaaaa

larrypourl:
The family is gone. Only God can restore that marriage

The man na useless man,make God forgive me
If na my papa, I go use gun follow am collect the money wey dey shack am to go poke outside

HaneefahRN:
Exactly. He can open a thread to blame his mum overlooking his dad's irresponsibility cos the woman is making sure all his needs are being met. For him not to know she is the one taking care of 80% of their financial needs even though his Dad earns well means she has been trying to cover up for the man.

If his mum was jobless or earned peanuts and he has a Dad who earns 400K monthly but waiting for his wife to get him a car (as supported by a weird thinking child) and always claiming he had no money, he would have realized that there are two sides to life.

THANK YOU MEH

okewumi:
This case is not natural again and it requires supernatural to solve it. The only supernatural way is Prayer. If you can not pray for them, it is better you keep looking unless you get burn.
There a lot of things that only your mum and dad can answer. Your dad salary may not be up to 100k and your mum can exaggerated. Only your dad can answer that.
Can income from tailoring job buy cars just like that ?
They have a lot of questions to answer, just keep pray for them and mind your language in this trial period

You have a point though.

BrotherJesu:
My mum is very beautiful, and successful yoruba woman but dosent regard her husband a bit,
Trouble got out hands when she got her first car and her husband who is an engineer doesnt have one yet,she then became pompous and over protective of the car that even those around; church and family knew that popxy doesnt own the car. Mumc is an established fashion designer and holds several positions in Nigerian Union ofTailors, as a result of this she comes home very late not givin any excus. As time goes by she stopped cooking him as she is always busy with work or travelling on state sponsored trips she does not bother to notify her husband whenever she is travelling.
There was a day i was so angry kus even my friends have started to take note and it becoming embarrasing, so i spoke with her, while talking she broke down in tears, she said she is the one responsible for 80 percent of the house expenses that popcy recieves 400k monthly bt always complaining of bin broke, she said other things i cant really type here.
This went own for a long time, they soon became enemies in the same house everyone going there way doing things differently, admist all these popsy has never rised his voice on her even when mumcy somethings did very annoing stuffs.
In the heat of this, popsy impregnated another babe although i have never seen the woman nor the child since birth which is close to two years. He apologised and promised to never bring them to interfere in our lives.
However this literary set our house on fire. While mumc was gettin over the haertbraek, she promised to get back at him which i didnt undesrand then.
Early this year, mumc bought 2 cars at ones, i was very surprised as she normally tell me her moves, she gave me one while she uses the other one. What broke myy hear was that she kept the one she was using before under cover when i asked her why she didnt allow popxy have that one she said she he should go buy his own and warned me that the day she will see him use my car na problem .
For sometime now she has been joking about moving us out of the country without his knowlege.
Popxy right now has facilitated his tramsfer to delta state.
Now they dont even see neida do they communicate again
the whole thing is driving me insane as i dont see popman coming to the house again pls guys help a brother what do i do
excuse my typo and coherence.

1. Learn your own lesson about choosing a wife.

2. Rinse and Repeat 1

Sebastine1606:
The man na useless man,make God forgive me
If na my papa, I go use gun follow am collect the money wey dey shack am to go poke outside

Really?

A man that impregnated a lady outside his marriage is not entitled to any freebie, leave your parents to sort their issues.

BrotherJesu:
My mum is very beautiful, and successful yoruba woman but dosent regard her husband a bit,
Trouble got out hands when she got her first car and her husband who is an engineer doesnt have one yet,she then became pompous and over protective of the car that even those around; church and family knew that popxy doesnt own the car. Mumc is an established fashion designer and holds several positions in Nigerian Union ofTailors, as a result of this she comes home very late not givin any excus. As time goes by she stopped cooking him as she is always busy with work or travelling on state sponsored trips she does not bother to notify her husband whenever she is travelling.
There was a day i was so angry kus even my friends have started to take note and it becoming embarrasing, so i spoke with her, while talking she broke down in tears, she said she is the one responsible for 80 percent of the house expenses that popcy recieves 400k monthly bt always complaining of bin broke, she said other things i cant really type here.
This went own for a long time, they soon became enemies in the same house everyone going there way doing things differently, admist all these popsy has never rised his voice on her even when mumcy somethings did very annoing stuffs.
In the heat of this, popsy impregnated another babe although i have never seen the woman nor the child since birth which is close to two years. He apologised and promised to never bring them to interfere in our lives.
However this literary set our house on fire. While mumc was gettin over the haertbraek, she promised to get back at him which i didnt undesrand then.
Early this year, mumc bought 2 cars at ones, i was very surprised as she normally tell me her moves, she gave me one while she uses the other one. What broke myy hear was that she kept the one she was using before under cover when i asked her why she didnt allow popxy have that one she said she he should go buy his own and warned me that the day she will see him use my car na problem .
For sometime now she has been joking about moving us out of the country without his knowlege.
Popxy right now has facilitated his tramsfer to delta state.
Now they dont even see neida do they communicate again
the whole thing is driving me insane as i dont see popman coming to the house again pls guys help a brother what do i do
excuse my typo and coherence.

Your story is as fake as your grammar in this nonsense...

You have said it all.

prestigiouslady:
And your mum isn't in sorrow? when she has a husband that is not responsible enough to cater for his family yet she had to take the wheel to provide for the family. To worsen the matter, he couldn't bridle his manhood and got another woman pregnant...so you think your dad hasn't make your mum miserable enough
if this is how you'll shift the whole blame on your mum, I really feel for her.
There are some matters that "sorry" doesn't resolve, the consequences are still there...infidelity to the extent of fathering a child outside marriage is one..
If tables were turned, will you be here seeking for advise??
If your mum's way of healing is to show off her hard earned money, let her do it...
I'm not in support of what she's doing but if that's her own way to get the pound of flesh back, so be it.

The truth about life is women can't handle power n success... Ur mum is just showing dat by not being submissive... Ur dad getting 400k n not showing bar might b as a result of him.maybe building a house or trying to establish his own company to.. Wat Ur mum didn't tell u is dat ur dad supported her in her work . Wat Ur mum did was wat made him seek for attention elsewhere so Bro if u rily want to help hear ur dads side of d story... Ur a man too n it will b Ur turn someday... Being a man is not easy women misunderstand us easily n d world will still take der side.... Gidion bless

BrotherJesu:
his excuse for non accountability is his demanding family and i hope deh all die dis night

Your mother has tried
How many nigerian women would gladly shoulder 80% of family responsibility


She is not a bad person

She just wants to make your dad feel pain so he can take care of his immediate family.

If she was a bad person she wouldn't have even been taking care of the family like your father who has chosen his family over you guys.

Just imagine if your mother wasn't working?

Now who is wrong your dad or mom?

generationz:
Your mother has tried
How many nigerian women would gladly shoulder 80% of family responsibility


She is not a bad person

She just wants to make your dad feel pain so he can take care of his immediate family.

If she was a bad person she wouldn't have even been taking care of the family like your father who has chosen his family over you guys.

Just imagine if your mother wasn't working?

Now who is wrong your dad or mom?

If your yearly rent is 2milion a year
where is this man going to get the money
IF THE MAN IS PAYING THE RENT AND maybe help with school fee
now what

Be the peace maker of the house. If both are professing christians, let them be guided by the word of God. Pray earnestly for wisdom to talk to them at the right time. Let them see how short this life is, and so must be lived in love

Ashawo Japanese.
Come to Abuja & u will see ur mom with Alhajis.
Apple doesnt fall far from its tree. This is hereditary.
Ashawo will neva change even till old age.
I blamed ur father for marrying an old shank

if only my mum will learn from her
she has sense
your Dad is not serious.

The OP popsy can afford a car buh chose not to buy it.... Y? .....i asked Y cuz u said Mumsy take up 80% of family bills...... I think you need to research y your mum is action that way...you can't profound a solution if you don't get to d root of d problem.... . There's no smoke without fire

personalshopper:
Honestly i am shocked at the number of Nigerian men that are covered by their wives. I just never knew this, but honestly i have now seen a lot of homes and men showing off that are really not the bread winners and are using their wives money to feel manly. What i have noticed is that some cultures in Nigeria really frown on divorce or leaving and so the women just deal with it. I mean strong looking, handsome and vibrant men! I'm amazed.

lmao,my father..doesn't do anything ,the only thing he does is to pay school fees and its half o��
he will nau be bragging that he pays school fees,car na my mama buy am , he will be driving like say he put #5 for the car,he will drive and drop for her to fuel it,food she will buy, plumber come house she go pay and he will be watching t.v....DSTV sub he will give phone to our last born to call my mum to pay���.

chia. ..I know say this kin man can't even near me ,I can now sniff them out, asin sniff..based on experience.

I wish my mum would behave like your mum I swear but she still dey mumu up and down.I have told her not to tell me her stories about him ,since she doesn't want to hear me.face your work and chop money alone...simple.

men have two hands----women have two hands
Men go to school -- women go to school
There are women business women-- making money
we are not in the 1960 -- women stay home and men go to work
Today family need both incomes

personalshopper:
if only my mum will learn from her
she has sense
your Dad is not serious.

base on the way lot of people are talking
Lot of Nigerian marriages are going to fail
The man has a job
If the man want to live in the cheap part of Lagos and the woman want lekki
It is like in UK, Canada and US-- interest rate and P taxes are different
You want to buy 200k house, Your wife will say let us buy the 350K
350k mortgage in US is equal to 750K mortgage payment in canada
I will work and contribute later story change