₦airaland Forum

Hmmmmm, am learning a new lesson

Bride price tradition is a male tradition. Created by me and enforced by men. They use as an excuse to treat women like property.

Gender equality is here to stay. So when men are ready to play along, they will abolish the tradition by themselves. Until then, they are only playing themselves.

That you paid brideprice today doesn’t mean your wife is beneath. I know many of you want her to be. Unfortunately for you, that’s no longer possible.

So to feel better, you work between yourselves to remove that aspect of the marriage process that makes you feel like you’re buying your fellow human being. It’s really that simple

Bonjelomo:
I was at a traditional wedding. The groom was my classmate @ OAU.
The groom from d east and the bride from Ibadan. They are deeperlife members. The bride price was paid as the culture is, but just b4 d close of day, the bride's father invited the groom's father and returned the envelope. He said: "we are yorubas, moreso we r christians, we don't trade off our children. They have chosen to be married in holy matrimony and so nobody is buying the other!

The groom's father was totally shocked. I guess he'd never seen such culture anywhere. He prayed and prayed until he nearly cursed.

Now this is the hilarious part - the groom told me later in the evening that he knows that the money being returned would cause serious fracas at home tonight. I asked him wy, he said - "na mumsy actually raise that money but as dem don carry am give popsy war go start.

We laughed over it anyway

This is what we called Afonjic lie from the pit of hell

ruffDiamond:
what's special about them ? na how dem poosy tight reach abi na wetin?abi na game of fuq dey be say na calabar gal dey rule?lol misplaced value and priority.. there is this ibeise gal from IMO in my hood rotting away with no hubby..we guy don press her boob flat... imbaise my thick veinous long thing...if I hear...

There is nothing special I'm anybody.

It is the handy work of greed to milk the young man dry.

They will demand for for one right or the other till late in the night.

Hedonistically:
Assuming you agree with him, then you and your lecturer are bunkers. Your father should marry you instead, since he is looking for millions to compensate for your "never be understated" value that is lost by giving you away in marriage.

The Nigerian female is a spectacularly disturbed human species. They pressure men for marriage, need marriage more than anything else, and yet they somehow believe that the man should kill himself to marry them because they think they hold some sort of vaguely defined value. If we're fucking or "dating" for a prolonged period of time, you are the one that would start pestering me 'when are we getting married', which means that marriage is more important to you than it is to me. That is the blatant truth for most men. Out of sheer pressure, a man would decide to marry, and then you start talking about bride price (or list) in the millions for you, because your value to your parents "cannot be understated". Na who send you?

Confused girls who want to be feminists and 'gender equalists' in the morning, and traditional commoditised African females at night. Choose your stance, and stick with it. Don't speak from both sides of your mouth.

Chop knuckle x5

hisgrace090:
To marry in mbaise is too expensive.

5 years ago my brother spent 800k in Ehime mbano without traditional marriage.

Exactly...also bp should not be money-one goat is enough. The goat should be cooked and eaten by the groom and bride family alone
The one I don't like is when things listed are not given to the bride.

PDPGuy:
Lmao

When you adjust for inflation, the N800k bride price would be N2 million today.

Her husband must have really loved her to have spent such an amount of money as BP. If na me, I’ll ask them to either reduce it to N45k or they can go Bleep themselves.

This shouldn't be a problem.

The bridegroom must let them understand that he will not be
contributing financially to their family needs in future.

It is a counter offer.

//

armyofone:
Exactly...also bp should not be money-one goat is enough. The goat should be cooked and eaten by the groom and bride family alone
The one I don't like is when things listed are not given to the bride.

Well, as the bride is marrying into a different family, there is no need for the groom to give her anything on the list.

donstan18:
What are you even scribbling?

Akoro gbago, akoro gbada....Ana akeri nnor!!

Why attack her? She has made a valid point.

The writer obviously has made too points : 1. The high cost of marriage list which she wrongly called bride price .
2. That bride price should be abolished, even if it is a symbolic amount like what a child would use to buy biscuits.
The Indians that the bride's family pay dowry to the groom's, does it make the bride's family exact control over the man?
If she is talking about scaling down the marriage list, it would have made some sense.

safarigirl:
Atani in Arochukwu....a lady got married there as early as two weeks ago, and it was 25 naira that was paid as bride price. It was an Idoma guy that confirmed it sef

Marriage list is very much different from bride price. They are not the same

This lady sef is yarning trash, shey she sat down and allowed them extort her future husband.

Exactly. She could have brought pressure to bear on her family and we would have been reading a different story here

[quote author=bitchcrafts post=63320319][/quote]

Follysho707:
I think it's Igbo (too much love of money) folks that bother too much on the amount and price. They sell their daughters for a price.

Bride Price is certainly part of the Yoruba culture with very little emphasis on the cash money or monetary value of the 'gifts' (Dowry). That's why it's regarded to as 'Gifts' NOT compulsory or inconveniencing to the groom's family. It's more of a form of courtesy and respect from the husband's family shown to the bride's family.

The cash money is usually a very small amount like N2K or so. As much as less value is placed on the financial aspect, very high traditional and customary values are placed on the actual money (regardless of the amount) and gifts.

In the Yoruba-land, the bride's family would normally give the cash money (bride-price) back to the groom's family by stating... "We're not selling you our daughter as, her worth is too invaluable monetarily".

In some parts of Igbo land, bride price is never fully paid; part of the money would be returned to the groom's family immediately with the saying, 'one doesn’t finish paying bride price '. Bride price isn't much in Anambra State. The list is for different folks, some of whom are females, like umuada, daughters of the kindred, women folk, married into the kindred, then the maidens, before you talk of the menfolk.

Bonjelomo:
E pain you? I know d part that pained you

We are YORUBA...we don't trade off our children.

We are Yorubas. Everything is not BUSINESS to us

You are just starting a propaganda. I live in Ogbomosho, I know how things are being done here

Mbaise Women and Pride though...

800k for an mbaise chick?

The bible says my people suffer because of lack of knowledge.

Analysiscorner:
In some parts of Igbo land, bride price is never fully paid; part of the money would be returned to the groom's family immediately with the saying, 'one doesn’t finish paying bride price '. Bride price isn't much in Anambra State. The list is for different folks, some of whom are females, like umuada, daughters of the kindred, women folk, married into the kindred, then the maidens, before you talk of the menfolk.

Analysiscorner, I really appreciate your time to explain this to me and, it's really helpful. I'm glad to know these things from a broader perspective. Although, I've been guilty of online tribalism and ignorance for the most part which I simply term as 'joke' but, in reality, I'm never like that. The daily 'tribal-fun' we poke at one another is out of 'love', trust me and you'll be surprised we can't do without each other, no matter what. . I hope to get better anyway. Again, thanks a lot, Sir! .. God bless you!

MrHistorian:
10 years ago??
800k??
Economists in the house,how much does that worth now??
Maybe 5 million.

what is the value of dollar then

Ruggedpen:
5 years ago my brother spent 800k in Ehime mbano without traditional marriage.

Tufiakwa!

This is greed personified.

donstan18:
What are you even scribbling?

Akoro gbago, akoro gbada....Ana akeri nnor!!

My brother, aghótaghíkwa m oooo

Those who married wit two keg of wine n two rabbit, are the same people writing long list. They are selfish n wicked.

ImpressionsNG:
I agree. After spending so much just to marry a woman, it can be quite annoying for her to later lay claim to gender equality, or worst of all, for her to defeat you in the other room. That would amount to double wahala for deadi bodi.

No wonder most men who shell out such fortunes to marry a woman go the extra mile to exert their revenge in the other room...without entertaining any excuse from the hapless woman. "darling my waist dey pain me o, my waist dey pain me o". For where? Why didn't your waist pain you when your papa and uncles were sucking me dry in the name of bride price and marriage list? Your waist will apologize on their behalf.

That's why it is important for Nigerian men to always have full network, so that they can enjoy the proceeds of their investment in marriage. Any long story about no network, partial network, or even premature surrender na ojoro to yourself and your madam...

To empower yourself fully and make sure you have full network to show her pepper, you need to know about the miraculous effect of garlic combined with vitamin C, which is more effective than Viagra or any artificial drug, and does not have side effects. With proper use of this combination, you will make madam regret the fact that her family charged a high bride price on her head. Learn more about it......

http://www.impressions.ng/amazing-benefits-of-garlic-and-vitamin-c-combination-for-men/

Guy, you really are a marketing guru!!

MrHistorian:
10 years ago??
800k??
Economists in the house,how much does that worth now??
Maybe 5 million.

indigenous people of Mbaise will know more.

Bonjelomo:
I was at a traditional wedding. The groom was my classmate @ OAU.
The groom from d east and the bride from Ibadan. They are deeperlife members. The bride price was paid as the culture is, but just b4 d close of day, the bride's father invited the groom's father and returned the envelope. He said: "we are yorubas, moreso we r christians, we don't trade off our children. They have chosen to be married in holy matrimony and so nobody is buying the other!

The groom's father was totally shocked. I guess he'd never seen such culture anywhere. He prayed and prayed until he nearly cursed.

Now this is the hilarious part - the groom told me later in the evening that he knows that the money being returned would cause serious fracas at home tonight. I asked him wy, he said - "na mumsy actually raise that money but as dem don carry am give popsy war go start.

We laughed over it anyway

lmao!!!!!!!!!?!now this was really funny I wish I was a fly on the wall at his parents house to witness the fight.......... the girls father should have given the couple the money sha ,make dem take start life.........

Bonjelomo:
I was at a traditional wedding. The groom was my classmate @ OAU.
The groom from d east and the bride from Ibadan. They are deeperlife members. The bride price was paid as the culture is, but just b4 d close of day, the bride's father invited the groom's father and returned the envelope. He said: "we are yorubas, moreso we r christians, we don't trade off our children. They have chosen to be married in holy matrimony and so nobody is buying the other!

The groom's father was totally shocked. I guess he'd never seen such culture anywhere. He prayed and prayed until he nearly cursed.

Now this is the hilarious part - the groom told me later in the evening that he knows that the money being returned would cause serious fracas at home tonight. I asked him wy, he said - "na mumsy actually raise that money but as dem don carry am give popsy war go start.

We laughed over it anyway

In my place, we don't collect bride price either and even most Yorubas confirm it.

Even the traditional items are not so expensive and can be negotiated. A lot of staunch Christian families don't ask for a lot of things they think is rooted in demonic culture and alcohol.

I believe the men in the affected areas can solve the problem. They dictate the BP and other cultural marriage trends.

I understand the woman's plight sha. If her husband isn't loving and he keeps referencing the BP she has no stake in, it is frustrating.

kelechi50:
God bless you my sister you are a true daughter of your father, my father said any man that can not afford a bride price for his wife to be, is not fit for marriage reasons being that if the wife is allowed to marry him and a problem of 200k arise how can he solve it @giving bath and it turns to an operation what will he do. Teambrideprice.

So dropping N1m bride price and list in January 2014 guarantees the ability of solving a N350k problem in Jan 2015....

It is well.

bennynaza:
a pastor went to marry an Mbaise girl. The brides dad and kinsmen received the bride price after it has been paid and give his blessings to the union. Immediately after, he pulled out #100 naira only, put it his pocket and gave the rest back to his inlaws. During the weeding, he gave the young man a pathfinder.

Bride price does not mean buying the woman, it is a cultural symbolism that shows that the man has the wherewithal to take care of another mans daughter

Bride price means buying the bride that's why Yorubas return with 'we don't sell our daughters' line.

Even the Bible says we are the bride of Christ and have been bought with a price (His precious blood) so we are bound to always do His will.

I am trying to give you the actual picture of bride price. If it is not a sale, why do a lot of husbands quote it when the wife is not heeding to him?

It is a wrong measure to determine a husband's ability to 'care' for his wife.

Zykod:
It's a yardstick to test the ability of men to take care of you in future. Learn not to be wiser than your elders. For a man that want a wife for keeps for life, a man should be encouraged to go all out and look for means to handle his wedding. It is a test of strength like in the old times when men had to go hunting for game before they could take a wife. This was done to actuate the strength of the man to make sure you don't end with lazy men. Get understanding in all your getting.


I am not married yet, but if men want to marry my daughter, they must pay it, the same way it a compulsion for me to go and hunt to take my own wife. Ladies don't be stvpid, let your family give your hand out in marriage

this is not true,go and look for at the history of bride prices,its a sign of goodwill betwen two families and not an avenue to get an income. besides most of the items on bride price lists these days if our ancestors were to look at our list they will summon the gods......our ancestors did not require men to bring boxes of clothes, shoes,bags underwear!!!!!! #rollseyes
our grandparents married with yams and palmwine and as far as i know palmwine is stillbeen tapped and yams still harvested yearly........ too much emphasis is been placed on exorbitant bride prices and weding parties and not on the couples welfare,mentaly,spiritually,etc.
if we must have bride prices,we should do it in the way and manner that our ancestors taught us and not change tradition all in the name of modernity and frustrate young people because of elders greed.

Zykod:
Okay, are you single?
How much is your ride price?
Are you working class?

yes 24naira Yes