northvietnam:
Court wedding or not..

woman at the end of the day, ur husband still wins... cuz he's the father of ur 3 kids....

and this shyte happened way bk..
why nt let go and move on.

if the man has been good and caring husband then why not take him along with his kids...
but if the dude has been an A$$hole then SCREW HIM...

if she leaves with out the man then she never loved him at the first place, she jushegot married cuz of the pregnancy...

The man that refused to make an honest woman out of her and wed her nko? Where is his own love?

If things didn't turn around for her where would he and his love be now?

The truth is that he took her for granted because he thought being a man he can do whatever he likes and get away with it. Well Good apparently had other plans.

Men need to know that getting married legally is not a favor, it's a responsibility.
I

comodo:

No legal document to back it up. That's the thing. Two people can cohabit and have kids. Once there is no legal document, everything na wash. After 9yrs d idiat still no legalize him marriage.

Please school the guy he obviously is confused.

Shhhh01:
I don't under stand. home broken how? because she was pregnant the man refused her a court wedding. so cos things done turn around u dey talk broken home. the home has been broken since when he decided not to do d court wedding and not respect the lady's family.

He was responsible for the pregnancy o. Heartless man

My daily justice boner quota has been fulfilled

UjuJoan2:


The man that refused to make an honest woman out of her and wed her nko? Where is his own love?

If things didn't turn around for her where would he and his love be now?

The truth is that he took her for granted because he thought being a man he can do whatever he likes and get away with it. Well Good apparently had other plans.

Men need to know that getting married legally is not a favor, it's a responsibility.
I

1 million gbosa for u

Shhhh01:
AMEN AMEN AMENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

I like you

Oyindidi:
He was responsible for the pregnancy o. Heartless man

Imagine? No heart at all. Him and that his useless family who thought highly of them selves and not of the woman or her unborn child at that time. mtchewwww

Oyindidi:
I like you

I like u too my sister. lol

northvietnam:


hmmmm.....
maybr the 3kids r girls...

but if a male is there, Dont play with male child...

they always come bk...

I know of one Airforce officer in my village... that was even sent to newyork for 2years Course... bt dude is bk now to the dad.

his dad dumped the mom and married second wife...

but he is back now and even the one setting up 2nd wives kids in business/school...

built the only awesome structure in that compound tho his mom is married to another man...

That is the story of the airforce officer. all kids aint the same. remember the woman is not saying they should denounce their dad, she simply does not want him to follow her to texas. her kids can always come for hols and see their dad. is it by force ?

northvietnam:
Court wedding or not..

woman at the end of the day, ur husband still wins... cuz he's the father of ur 3 kids....

and this shyte happened way bk..
why nt let go and move on.

if the man has been good and caring husband then why not take him along with his kids...
but if the dude has been an A$$hole then SCREW HIM...

if she leaves with out the man then she never loved him at the first place, she jushegot married cuz of the pregnancy...

I'd say screw him I know an idiot who impregnated My friend, did introduction and refused to marry her after 2 kids. The guy is irresponsible

Shhhh01:
Imagine? No heart at all. Him and that his useless family who thought highly of them selves and not of the woman or her unborn child at that time. mtchewwww

Men can make you feel like taking your precious life. No pity for that beast. She must've felt worthless. A pregnant lady going through all that trauma. Madam kuku give your children your surname.

donnaD:

I just don't know what she is trying to prove by all these and her father? hmmm I tire oo what will be his pride if his daughter's home is broken due to all these.

If it was ur daughter that this happened to nko? Also what the husband was supposed to do for her, her father did (by making her a better woman and making her feel good about herself). Do u know what she and her family had gone through? Guy remember she is human. if it was me I would do the same o.
when I needed the man he was not there, now he needs me cos I have made something out of myself. mba na that is not a real man.

Seeing these comments, I'm kind of happy. People are seeing it from different views so it's enriching to say the least.
But I have a slight issue. That's the issue of 3rd party interference in relationships/marriages. Does anyone think her dad was a little bit more 'nosy' than he should have been. I practically think he ran her life all along.
Just an observation. I don't like that, it doesn't allow those people gel in their own way.

emperormossad:
Seeing these comments, I'm kind of happy. People are seeing it from different views so it's enriching to say the least.
But I have a slight issue. That's the issue of 3rd party interference in relationships/marriages. Does anyone think her dad was a little bit more 'nosy' than he should have been. I practically think he ran her life all along.
Just an observation. I don't like that, it doesn't allow those people gel in their own way.

nope. I read the story. the father did nothing wrong. the husband made the father interfere. and the father did a good thing. it is his daughter. no body can love ur child more than u. what the guy and his family felt was not necessary, has caused him big, cos they had the upper hand cos she was pregnant out of wed lock. the father saved his daughter's face and if it were me I will do more than that for my child.

Shhhh01:
That is the story of the airforce officer. all kids aint the same. remember the woman is not saying they should denounce their dad, she simply does not want him to follow her to texas. her kids can always come for hols and see their dad. is it by force ?

so who will now b doing D Daddy work in Texas...

Being a single mom in America where child rights prevails aint easy Oooo...

Shhhh01:
nope. I read the story. the father did nothing wrong. the husband made the father interfere. and the father did a good thing. it is his daughter. no body can love ur child more than u. what the guy and his family felt was not necessary, has caused him big, cos they had the upper hand cos she was pregnant out of wed lock. the father saved his daughter's face and if it were me I will do more than that for my child.

Yes I quite agree with you no doubt.
Listen, no one is innocent, like everyone has said. He messed up real time. And deserves whatever he gets. I'm just saying, if I were the lady, I'd need to ask myself why I'm still bearing a grudge this long also. Did I really forgive him?

Babe it's a coin. It has two sides. To err is human, to forgive is divine. She's got every right to act whichever way though, it's her life, her decisions to make.

Lemme ask you
How long can you hold a grudge?

UjuJoan2:


The man that refused to make an honest woman out of her and wed her nko? Where is his own love?

If things didn't turn around for her where would he and his love be now?

The truth is that he took her for granted because he thought being a man he can do whatever he likes and get away with it. Well Good apparently had other plans.

Men need to know that getting married legally is not a favor, it's a responsibility.
I

I think a man that fathered 3 kids with a lady, spent 9years with her in same Roof should be forgiving...

women r just teaching we single men Good lessons...
9fvcking years, 9years... that women is Devilish

It would be interesting to know his reasons for adamantly refusing a court marriage years ago.

northvietnam:


I think a man that fathered 3 kids with a lady, spent 9years with her in same Roof should be forgiving...

women r just teaching we single men Good lessons...
9fvcking years, 9years... that women is Devilish

I think the lessons young men should pick is that "do unto others what you want done to you."
That is one of the golden rules of life.
Why wasn't the court wedding important to him then, when it was obviously very important to her and her family? Why didn't he take it serious then? Why was he so adamant. A genuine answer to that question will make it clear if the wife is wrong in feeling the way she does or not.
Don't forget she is also human. Was he trying to prevent her from having access to his future wealth then? Was he planning to be polygamous or he just didnt want the stress then?
Our lives are living examples to those who look up to us, including children and spouses. If you teach your wife and children that it's alright to cheat and keep concubines, they are learning seriously from you. They will also grow up to feel its alright to cheat and have concubines including your wife , male and female children. Thats why i just laugh when some men are lamenting about that wives are cheating around town now. They have learnt from the best- their fathers, brothers and husbands.
Same thing as this issue of court wedding, this man has shown his wife it's not important, and its not a do or die affair especially since it seemed so important to her then. She has lived without it for 9 years, has built her life around it for 9 good years. It will be hard to suddenly start seeing it as important to have a court marriage. She has actually realised her life is going on in the right direction even without bearing an official Mrs from the courts or church. What is the incentive for her to now want to start bearing it now?
Its not really about forgiveness now. What is the ulterior motive for the guy to now suddenly want his wife to bear Mrs?
That's why I asked initially his reasons for refusing one in the first place as that would clarify a lot of things.

northvietnam:
Court wedding or not..

woman at the end of the day, ur husband still wins... cuz he's the father of ur 3 kids....

and this shyte happened way bk..
why nt let go and move on.

if the man has been good and caring husband then why not take him along with his kids...
but if the dude has been an A$$hole then SCREW HIM...

if she leaves with out the man then she never loved him at the first place, she jushegot married cuz of the pregnancy...

I don’t understand your logic that, the guy wins simply because he is her kids’ father.....is the opposite not also true? i.e. she is the guy’s kids’ mother?

If you alleged that, ‘..she never loved him at the first place...’, wouldn’t that be said of the husband as well?

Mariangeles:
She loved him but he killed that love...she stayed with him because she was already with child!
Most men don't know how to nurture a woman's love and make it strong, they just take it for granted when women love them...of all the things in life, you don't want to lose a woman's love believe me!

Nothing like killing her love...

Love is like being a football fanatic ... ur football team will break ur heart in a match yet u keep loving them..

love is like Addiction...

she cant tell me she ever loved that man cuz if she did, 9 years is enough to let go...

Smh

emperormossad:


Yes I quite agree with you no doubt.
Listen, no one is innocent, like everyone has said. He messed up real time. And deserves whatever he gets. I'm just saying, if I were the lady, I'd need to ask myself why I'm still bearing a grudge this long also. Did I really forgive him?

Babe it's a coin. It has two sides. To err is human, to forgive is divine. She's got every right to act whichever way though, it's her life, her decisions to make.

Lemme ask you
How long can you hold a grudge?

The lady clearly stated that, she did not forgive him and that, she only agreed to go along with the marriage because she was expecting and does not want to give birth to the kid out of wedlock.

For those saying, why did she then continue to birth kids with this guy, if she has not forgiven him and have fallen out out of love with him. For many people these issues are separate...about 50% of marriages end up in divorce and more than half of the remaining 50% are still in their husband’s home not because love is flourishing...they come to realize that love is not everything and that, there are many other life’s pursuits that are more than love; so they have settled and carried their cross that, they have missed the boating of marrying for love.

linearity:



If you alleged that, ‘..she never loved him at the first place...’, wouldn’t that be said of the husband as well?

no cuz he would have opted for Abortion... or just walked away and body will beat him.

but he stayed and took up the responsibility of being a father and even went as far as 3rd baby...

the family and the girl is just so pained cuz she let her father who might be a Deacon( in one of those church )down by not having the So called white wedding..( church demanded for court wedding cert b4 they could be wedded)...

As far as he paid her dowry, they should not force him into court wedding

northvietnam:


Nothing like killing her love...

Love is like being a football fanatic ... ur football team will break ur heart in a match yet u keep loving them..

love is like Addiction...

she cant tell me she ever loved that man cuz if she did, 9 years is enough to let go...

If you think a woman's love can be compared to the love of a football club, then you're in for a shocker!

Mariangeles:
If you think a woman's love can be compared to the love of a football club, then you're in for a shocker!

lolzzzz....

yeah i sounded weird there...

northvietnam:


no cuz he would have opted for Abortion... or just walked away and body will beat him.

but he stayed and took up the responsibility of being a father and even went as far as 3rd baby...

the family and the girl is just so pained cuz she let her father who might be a Deacon( in one of those church )down by not having the So called white wedding..( church demanded for court wedding cert b4 they could be wedded)...

As far as he paid her dowry, they should not force him into court wedding

...and you think that is love? don't make me laugh....

AFONJACOW:
rubbish... and what of if I say you are not going to your America with my kid

Hahahahaha men, men, men the things you to to women only God will judge ooo. Men should remember that they are still under the headship of Jesus Christ and he don't misuse his authority.

Shhhh01:
If it was ur daughter that this happened to nko? Also what the husband was supposed to do for her, her father did (by making her a better woman and making her feel good about herself). Do u know what she and her family had gone through? Guy remember she is human. if it was me I would do the same o.
when I needed the man he was not there, now he needs me cos I have made something out of myself. mba na that is not a real man.

my sister this man paid her bride price by doing so he has removed the most important shame from her and family shame.a couple's qurrel should not last more than a day.

Biglittlelois:



What a stupid mentality, how do you know this? you have wh0re yourself through 99.9% of Nigerian women to know which is ambitionless right? nonsense

that woman was destined to be successful regardless of what her husband did, you didnt bother to condemn the man, only to tag him "desperate", if it was a lady supporting her own, y'all would be fast to tag her feminist, irritating menist

Haba, babe! Did my goat eat your yam? What I said was just an opinion now, nothing personal.

Shhhh01:
that's what u think. so cause there was a turn around in her life, so it was good thing for the man to put her and her family through all that embarrassment? my dear what God has ordained shall surely come to pass. What's gonna b is gonna b. I support her. The guy never thought of this. he felt he was a demi god. Now The Almighty has shown him pepper.

Personally, I don't think the guy has learned his lesson. He just wants to legalize the marriage so he can relocate abroad with her. He's an opportunist, bu for t how long can she carry a grudge against him? She seems to still be on the fence after 9yrs, she should take a stand: either with him or against him.

I have only one question here,
HOW DO U LIVE WITH SOMEONE FOR 9YEARS WIYHOUT FORGIVING HIM?? #FEARWOMEN#

HeWrites:
According to the story shared on Facebook, a man who refused to do court and white wedding with his baby mama is now begging to wed her in court after she got an opportunity to relocate abroad with her family. The story is quite interesting.

Read below;
“I got pregnant nine years ago while dating my current husband and then the issue of marriage came up. I wasn’t working then. He told my family and I that he doesn’t want a court marriage for no reason. My parents tried talking to him, I cried and begged him severally to legalize his marriage with me but he stood his grounds not to wed me in a court.

I involved his family members to help me beg him but they said, he’s old enough to make his decisions. He even refused to do a white wedding either because my church requested for a court certificate, so we ended up doing only traditional marriage.

I later got tired and gave up on the matter. I was hurt and broken but I resolved to marry him like that just to save myself and my family the shame of having a baby outside wedlock. My dad was angry and disappointed in him but he didn’t care and because of that my dad vowed to see me a successful and independent woman with or without him.

After I gave birth to my baby, my dad helped me secure a job with a multinational company and things started to turn around for me. I could now take care of myself and secure a future.

Though I married my husband but I never forgave him from my heart and it made me not to do anything in my husband’s name.

We currently have three kids together but all my properties are in the name of my children. I never used him as my next of kin either.

Just last month my company decided to transfer me to a branch in Texas and the company is willing to pay for my entire family to relocate with me. My husband’s business is not doing too well and he’s willing to relocate also but we have no legal certificate to show that we are married.

Now he wants us to go to the court to legalize our marriage and I have said “No” My dad has threatened to disown me if I ever go with him to court.

He’s been tagging me everywhere as a bad wife who is not loyal to her husband, spoiling my family also. His family members have been calling me trying to persuade me but I told them I’m old enough to make my decisions also and I have stood my ground just like he did to me nine years ago.”

Culled from; https://www.torimill.com/2018/04/man-who-refused-to-marry-his-baby-mama-for-9-years-now-begging-to-wed-her-see-why.html

Convince your dad to allow you do the needful. Do the court thing with him. His refusal in the first place is blessing in disguise. He has learnt his lessons, I suppose. If you refuse, consider the consequences of working abroad and your husband at home. It will put a heavy strain on the marriage. Unless you are contemplating divorce.