mikolam:


This is not totally true. In fact a lot of women cook in Europe and take care of the home. However, there is a lot more balance because European men support. Women cooking and taking care of the home is not a Nigerian thing, neither is it an African thing. It is a natural task that women gravitate towards, the same way men gravitate towards providing and protecting their family. So as I said, that is statement up there is not totally true.

Who said women don't cook in Europe and America?

I said cooking isn't the duty of the woman alone in those continents.. almost 65% of American men share bills with their wives and they also share house chores which includes cooking, even though women take greater part of the house chores. (at least they're sharing it)

Try and get a visa.. even if it's a tourism visa

Travel to USA or Europe.. come back and prove me wrong because you're still living in self delusion.

Daboomb:


People like you are either ignorant or just too narrow-minded not to know that WORK is not all about what you do physically.
Planning, layout, monitoring, e.t.c are all part of work! They are BRAIN WORK!
Men/husbands in the household, do more of the brain work, which is even more tiring..... if in doubt, ask a student studying for exams why he/she eats much when all he/she does is sit somewhere and read.

"Work" does not have to be PHYSICAL or time consuming.
If not so, the Labourer that carries Cement on his head should be more paid that the Architect that 'just draws' some skecthes for a few minutes or the mech Engineer that 'just puts on his helmet' and directs the labourers on what to do.

Some of you need to see the "Big/Whole Picture" and stop whinning like a horse, just because you cook.

Honestly, l dont enjoy engaging people like YOU who are intellectually challenged and whose mindset is 'weak'.
You can go and challenge your husband to a fight, because you cook the food you both eat, e nor 'consign' me.

Guy said brain work
They keep coming up with new and ridiculous things. Naaa mehn..... Not marrying a man like you. Not all Nigerian men actually love seeing the ones they love go through all that shi.t alone.
"Brain work" What will I not hear?

Cuteamigo1:
because thats what women do. the are better at taking care of the home while the men support them. its the same case when it comes to the providing. men are better at it and the women support in anyway they can. agree to it or not, with this mentality of yours marriage will become utterly useless because couples would be sizing each on the basis of who is cheating who and it isnt supposed to be so. my previous post explains it better although you choose to be blind on the effect such mentality has on marriage. cheers. with the way you are putting it, is it not unfair for her to carry you child for 9 month since it will affect her career? explore the 50 50 thing to the last or let us be abeg.

All this "better at" you're shouting are things that were taught and are things you can learn. Being domestic doesn't come naturally to women, we were taught to be domestic. You think you provide better naturally? Come, let's compare our portfolios so that I can lecture you.
Funny thing is, no one is even dragging 50-50 with you. How is that even measurable? The problem is you lots won't even lift a finger. When you do, we won't hear the last of it. "I'm just helping o, it's not my responsibility o", as if it's not your household too. Abeg oga, you'll see your type. Marry her and enjoy. Stop shiting in your pants about the rest of us cos frankly, we don't care about you too. God forbid I marry your type.

Elder001:


Who said women don't cook in Europe and America?

I said cooking isn't the duty of the woman alone in those continents.. almost 65% of American men share bills with their wives and they also share house chores which includes cooking, even though women take greater part of the house chores. (at least they're sharing it)

Try and get a visa.. even if it's a tourism visa

Travel to USA or Europe.. come back and prove me wrong because you're still living in self delusion.

Ahaha, you are really taking this thread and discussion personal. I won't, you can continue to.

However, I will correct your misconceptions. Have you ever traveled out? If you say you have, you will realize that many of these Europeans are polite, of which you are not. So I doubt you have ever or if you did, you only focused on Gender equality when you did.

Now back to the discussion, we said the same thing. They share but the women still does most of the cooking here. I believe a man should support his wife in every way possible. However, everyone should have his/her main responsibility. For some families, the man is a house husband (there is paternity leave for men in some parts of Europe). Every family functions differently and we all need to understand that. Now go and read my previous post.

If your next response is impolite, I won't reply you and I will wonder if you won't also cause unnecessary issues if elected into political office. (Note: that is if your next response is impolite)

Why not employ your father to do the house work and cook,,since you are looking for man..your father must be a man with cooking experience

Daboomb:
Honestly, this world has really gone bonkers!

If a man decides his wife should not work, that she should just take care of the family while he provides for their needs, women will call him all sort of names, that he does not want his wife to progress, he is jealous of her success, he is overbearing, bla bla bla.

If the man decides that she should work and feel fulfilled, he is called all sort of names, he is a lazy man who cannot fulfil his duties, who depends on his wife to survive bla bla bla and he must be ready to do the cooking!
What rubbish!!

I've heard the 'definition of a woman' as a specie that does not know what it wants!
Seems very apt.

Any SORRY-ASS woman who thinks cooking for her family and herself is too much for her should stay single.
S-T-O-P WHINNING.

Otherwise, employ a "Houseboy' and then marry him afterwards.

If you want it to work that way, then we would need to start from the scratch. Because no way in hell will I go through all I went through as a child and a student, the tests, the exams, the projects, the ridicules, the sexual harassment from lecturers just to come and be your housewife. No way in hell.
So how about propose that females shouldn't be allowed education anymore so that we can dedicate the rest of our lives to caring for our men. Mr Smart A.ss?
Plus, you better be ready to fund whatever lifestyle I choose Shey you said you're wise?

Elder001:


who forced you to sponsor wedding, buy gifts and footing all the bills?

You weren't thinking properly before sending this reply, right?

mikolam:


Ahaha, you are really taking this thread and discussion personal. I won't, you can continue to.

However, I will correct your misconceptions. Have you ever traveled out? If you say you have, you will realize that many of these Europeans are polite, of which you are not. So I doubt you have ever or if you did, you only focused on Gender equality when you did.

Now back to the discussion, we said the same thing. They share but the women still does most of the cooking here. I believe a man should support his wife in every way possible. However, everyone should have his/her main responsibility. For some families, the man is a house husband (there is paternity leave for men in some parts of Europe). Every family functions differently and we all need to understand that. Now go and read my previous post.

If your next response is impolite, I won't reply you and I will wonder if you won't also cause unnecessary issues if elected into political office. (Note: that is if your next response is impolite)

You're confused.

and he's asking me if I ever travelled out from Nigeria?.
what makes you think I'm presently living in Nigeria?

as for your last statement, I want to go into politics to liberate men from stone age mentality.
any man who believes cooking is the responsibility of the woman alone is supposed to be in jail not the society.

expert234:



You weren't thinking properly before sending this reply, right?

where was a rule made that only men should sponsor wedding? ..the way all of you speak ,I wonder the kind of village or country y'all are residing.


Footing all the bills alone is also your personal decision.. don't turn anybody into slave because of your decision
Because you voluntarily sponsored wedding, purchased gifts or whatever for your wife doesn't mean you shouldn't cook or do house chores.

Coldfeets:



But why are you abusing the OP na?

It is not the OP that made the statement.

Lolz Sorry o, I was just very pissed off

its not d provision of money DT make a man A responsible one o. Itz that burden of leadership that makes him one. that responsibility of taking decisions that not only affect you but every body around you and getting it right is what makes you are man. its not all about money o.
ASK SINGLE MOTHERS THEY NO BETTER. m not talking of baby mamas ooo ehn ehn

nairaland,same ol forum sandwiched with both sane and insane humans,trying hard to shove their shitty personal opinions down your throat!!!! ion give two hot fudge if your husband pummels you daily in your marriage,neither would I care if he helps out with chores or watches u get sick due to an overload of burdens and chores,I see women who serves as the bread winner of the house, bear all the burden in the family and still ends up getting battered by the man,same way Ive seen two understanding humans,helping out each other in all spheres of their marriage,your life your damned choice!! to each his own....that big mouth screaming bloody murder should keep her opinion to herself,and prolly relay it to the man who intends to marry her, I wonder how this sh*t passes as a news piece though.

LivingFree:
This Land is for sale

I no want

Izen:


All this "better at" you're shouting are things that were taught and are things you can learn. Being domestic doesn't come naturally to women, we were taught to be domestic. You think you provide better naturally? Come, let's compare our portfolios so that I can lecture you.
Funny thing is, no one is even dragging 50-50 with you. How is that even measurable? The problem is you lots won't even lift a finger. When you do, we won't hear the last of it. "I'm just helping o, it's not my responsibility o", as if it's not your household too. Abeg oga, you'll see your type. Marry her and enjoy. Stop shiting in your pants about the rest of us cos frankly, we don't care about you too. God forbid I marry your type.

yawwwwn. good ridance to bad Rubbish. i will find my type and we will live happily ever after.

Elder001:


where was a rule made that only men should sponsor wedding? ..the way all of you speak ,I wonder the kind of village or country y'all are residing.


Footing all the bills alone is also your personal decision.. don't turn anybody into slave because of your decision
Because you voluntarily sponsored wedding, purchased gifts or whatever for your wife doesn't mean you shouldn't cook or do house chores.

You are confused, like the neurons in your brain are disjointed.

For your information, paying dowry makes me the LORD over the woman. I call the shot in my home. I decide who does what, what I want to do and what I don't want to do.

I won't be surprised if you say husband should pay their wives for caring for kids.

..

Elder001:



Young man, you've never left the shores of Africa . don't think me for a small boy.

Travel to Europe and America ,you'll see men cooking, cleaning the home and doing laundry on daily basis even when their wives are doing nothing.
This is a civilized world.

It takes a self-destuctive, pussy-whipped, Sissy of a 'de-balled specimen' masquerading as a Man, to make the statement bolded above.

When did 'Stupidity' become 'Civilisation'?
No wonder he has been yarning Opata all along.

FYI: Stop this rubbish about ' l am Mr. Europe or America', how many days did you spend there that you wont even allow those who hold multiple citizenship to hear word?

Izen:


If you want it to work that way, then we would need to start from the scratch. Because no way in hell will I go through all I went through as a child and a student, the tests, the exams, the projects, the ridicules, the sexual harassment from lecturers just to come and be your housewife. No way in hell.
So how about propose that females shouldn't be allowed education anymore so that we can dedicate the rest of our lives to caring for our men. Mr Smart A.ss?
Plus, you better be ready to fund whatever lifestyle I choose Shey you said you're wise?

Women like you who have been PSYCHOLOGICALLY DAMAGED, cannot be anywhere near me, not to mention being my wife!
I dont take-on garbage, l leave such ones for @Elder001 or what did he call himself.

Your past and present burdens are what damaged your 'mentality'.
I have sisters and many of the female gender who are better read and prosperous in life but dont make issues of cooking for themselves and their family because they did not suffer ' mental and psychological damage', when growing up!

I mentioned earlier that women who are well educated and rich, e.g. Mrs Alakija, Dora Akinyilu of blessed memory, e.t.c still cook for their husbands and dont scatter their marriage because of that!

Caryy your Sorry-Ass, damaged mentality elsewhere. Dont even imagine your tyoe anywhere near me!
Impossicant, as we say.

Any damaged woman who is whinning because of her home chores should feck-off her marriage or not marry at all.
It is not by force to be Mr. Smart.

drakeli:
All of you guys making noise here. I believe most of you are in one way or the other wishing to get a visa and leave Nigeria. By the time you leave to a western country, you will all know that all these bla bla bla about women doing all the chores alone is only limited to Africa. In advanced countries, men and women compliment each other doing all the chores. Una eye go clear.

You forgot to add that in the Western countries which you all troop to, the Man is basically a slave in his own house!
he has been reduced by women (and his wife in particular), to a shrivelling, fearful House boy who duties is to pander to the whims and caprices of the same woman he lives with and if by chance he chose to complain a little, she will use the Police to hound him and throw him out of the house (his house that he has a mortgage on!).

That my friend is not marriage where love exists!
It is a 'union of mortal enemies' and the result is what we read everyday - When the Man cannot take anymore of the sh*t and pilloring, he sets himself and the motherfucker on fire!
I really feel sorry for 'Men in the Western world'.

Nigeria is far ahead on that level even though the likes of the foolish ones on this thread are desperately trying to import such nonsense into the nigerian family space.

No wonder they have given themselves the right to 'marry their own gender' (Male- male, Female-Female), even adopt babies or surrogate them!
The Westerners have destroyed their own family life on the 'excuse of freedom to do whatever l like' and they are not a standard to adopt or envy.
Take that to the bank.

Demure1:


I also laugh knowing fully well you are wrong, i am well aware of the reasons behind that, and none were inclusive out of the reasons you stated. For Honestly that is really not one of the reasons why women live longer than men.

Mind you i speak with facts, for i did a few research for my projects on that while i was in school, and my profession grants me enough access to conduct more research on most of these men and you failed to mention the root causes.

You just reiterated our points on why you men should stop using the word "help" while you appear in the kitchen once in a blue moon. It's a shared benefit, isnt it?, so you not doing her a favour but yourself.

Yes but yet different organisations exists and different ways of running it also exists, coupled with different form of leadership styles .

Hence the reason I stand with the egalitarian marriage, which is what I saw my parent marriage as and they still together after 40 years same with the marriages of my elder brothers and sisters.

I remember how Dad and mom woke up early, prayed, then prepared us for school while dad prepared breakfast, mom bathed all the kids, ironed our uniform, both dropped us off at school. Either Dad mopped and mom washed or dad cooked and mom mopped. Dad also did grocery shopping countless times or they went together.

Till we grew up they always helped one another and that's what I know as marriage, a partnership.

If you want the cooking to be done solely by your wife, get you a woman who has the same archaic mentality as yourself without berating others who don't.


[color=#990000][/color

So it is archaic if in my house, l have roles l do and my wife has roles she does, without any competition from each other?
You see why l said most of you are a sorry excuse of "damaged goods"?

I am married for God knows how long, my wife is well educated and 'financially made' even though she does not need it and you know what?
Like the likes of Alakija (Mrs), she still cooks and does her household chores without whinning like all you cry-babies.
Get a life of get out of your marriage because y'all not marriage materials, just a bunch of whinning, over-fed rabbits.

lekonso:

Read your bible very well. God did not curse man. God cursed the ground for man"s sake.God never curse man. How can God curse man that He made in His image.

Smh

Elder001:


it's not a man's duty to cook? it's who's/whose duty then?

you're a very disgusting human being.

The earlier you awaken from the drunken privileges of patriarchy, the better for you.

I am probably sure you are a she-male,I can't help but blame ur parents for bringing a stinking transgend**like you into this world.worthless pig.male feminist by the time feminist finish dealing with you, I pray your case will be worst than that of eboue, stupid asslicker.

Rachelsblog:
In a way of trying to blast people who still believe in Gender roles, Twitter user Nduka Nwosu has revealed the stress she feels each time she gets home, The lady who just got a new job is already tired of cooking, according to her each time she gets home she gets so weak that she feel like she needs a man who helps her out to do house shores, so for that anyone who talks about Gender bullshi*t, is blocked on arrival, see her tweets below!



Gossip From Ebiwali--
http://www.ebiwalisgossip.com/2018/06/lady-who-just-got-job-reveals-what.html

You accepted to work for an organization for no profit as you said (that is, without pay), and the job is so cool to you, I'm still quoting you. Now you are demanding that your husband should pay you for cooking, after exhausting your strength working for another boss without pay.
Young lady raise up your two hands and shout My Father, my Father! Any coconut tree they tied my brain, catch fire in Jesus name.

Elder001:


keep deceiving yourself.

I pity any woman who'll get married to a disgusting and misogynistic bastard like you.

Men cook, wash plates and do laundry in civilized climes, Nigeria shouldn't be an exception .

I do all those things and my wife doesn't walk over me.

The earlier you awaken from the drunken privileges of patriarchy, the better for you.

I'm done.

all you do is spew profanities over opinions of others that differs from yours who sounds like the bastard here ,a man who stands his ground and runs his home like a man or a sissy who cant differentiate helping a wife out and her doing her wifely duties run your hole how you like PS don't quote me a again am not fond of hurling insults about it shows just how poor your upbringing was ...

drewxx88:
protection basically ,as seen in animals but in man its protection and provision hope that's enlightened you a bit P.S asking your hubby for help should not be equated to him doing the cooking doesn't matter what continent your from women cook in all cultures ...

Protection and provision? So those that don't/ can't protect or provide are .....? It really cracks me up. if we are to go by this then no man should seek assistance from his wife/women in his life for financial assistance. He should carry the burden of providing and protecting alone. In Nigeria today, where an average family needs two or more sources of income to be comfortable, it is close to impossible. If the woman shares the burden of providing and protecting then the man should also share the burden of running the home. Someone can't have an opinion in peace. And to think we have more challenging problems to address in marriage, someone is busy assigning domestic chores upandan.

P.S do you know that some certain tribes in Africa, like the Hausa's had female warrior queens as well as Asante of Ghana?
The Serer tribe in West African, the Ovambo people, Nubians were also ruled by women. So I ask, are the warrior women against nature since I am sure washing plates was the last thing on their mind or are there no men in the tribes or are they forbidden to provide and protect, or were they created without the DNA that is meant to make them provide and protect?

.

chinene1:


Protection and provision? So those that don't/ can't protect or provide are .....? It really cracks me up. if we are to go by this then no man should seek assistance from his wife/women in his life for financial assistance. He should carry the burden of providing and protecting alone. In Nigeria today, where an average family needs two or more sources of income to be comfortable, it is close to impossible. If the woman shares the burden of providing and protecting then the man should also share the burden of running. Someone can't have an opinion in peace. And to think we have more challenging problems to address in marriage, someone is busy assigning domestic chores upandan.

P.S do you know that some certain tribes in Africa, Hausa's to be exert had female warrior queens as well as Asante of Ghana?
The Serer tribe in West African, the Ovambo people, Nubians were also ruled by women.

your referring to queen Amina of zazzu yes I know about her but help is different from role reversal now.I know women well to do with high paying jobs who still cook for their husbands and take care of their home cos they don't trust domestic helps before you hear stories like the man is screwing the maid ,like you said her opinion is hers we are just airing ours and rubbing minds...

drewxx88:
your referring to queen Amina of zazzu yes I know about her but help is different from role reversal now.I know women well to do with high paying jobs who still cook for their husbands and take care of their home cos they don't trust domestic helps before you hear stories like the man is screwing the maid ,like you said her opinion is hers we are just airing ours and rubbing minds...

This is far from airing minds. It has become a bashing thread for people who applaud her views by those who don't support it. Its all about choice. For the fact, a woman prefers a partner and not a master is her choice.
My dad cooks even while my mum is home. She has never hand washed his clothes either. Before both retired my dad took care of all the expenses and mum supported by adding her money to the feeding allowance to get all the kinds of foods he likes to eat. Till date, my dad pumps water, cooks and when he is finished with his meal, clears the dishes to the kitchen if no one is close by, cleans sometimes and even goes shopping. He does all this while my mum is around. She either joins him or gets busy doing something else.

chinene1:


This is far from airing minds. It has become a bashing thread for people who applaud her views by those who don't support it. Its all about choice. For the fact, a woman prefers a partner and not a master is her choice.
My dad cooks even while my mum is home. She has never hand washed his clothes either. Before both retired my dad took care of all the expenses and mum supported by adding her money to the feeding allowance to get all the kinds of foods he likes to eat. Till date, my dad pumps water, cooks and when he is finished with his meal, clears the dishes to the kitchen if no one is close by, cleans sometimes and even goes shopping. He does all this while my mum is around. She either joins him or gets busy doing something else.

yes I noticed the whole bashing part that's why I chose to reply your comment cos you didn't seem like you were taking sides I don't speak for everyone just myself id help if and when I can cos in my own home mum did all that and still lives with my dad even now that we've all moved out ...P.S don't take all the comments to hrt cos nobody can be like you 100℅ that's why the world is diverse look for like minds are relate with em ...

Daboomb:


So it is archaic if in my house, l have roles l do and my wife has roles she does, without any competition from each other?
You see why l said most of you are a sorry excuse of "damaged goods"?

I am married for God knows how long, my wife is well educated and 'financially made' even though she does not need it and you know what?
Like the likes of Alakija (Mrs), she still cooks and does her household chores without whinning like all you cry-babies.
Get a life of get out of your marriage because y'all not marriage materials, just a bunch of whinning, over-fed rabbits.

Learn how to engage in constructive arguments without using derogatory words,.

I said "archaic" cause thats my own worldview in terms of traditional gender roles. This isn't someone whinning, this is me saying not everyone restricts themselves to a role. It may not be same to you, then fine but understand your type of marriage isn't everyone's type too.

While growing up i Was told to washed cars while my big brothers did nothing, and they were called to cook while i did nothing. My parents only called on who they have in sight and in proximity to them.

If they see you, they call you, simple. It helped me and my siblings in life because we weren't restricted to those roles.
While in school I could change my bulb or fixed the socket all these my friends couldn't do.

You keep saying competition would arise when roles aren't defined, maybe in a marriage where both parties refuses to see each other as a team and true love and respect for each other is lacking.

That's why we are called to selflessness in marriage, when you know you are working for and not against yourselves, you won't even notice who imputed more.

Yes sometimes I work more and sometimes my husband works more depending on who gets home early, has night shifts,who has more projects, and travels etc and sometimes it's equal but nobody is whinning.

If he gets home first he prepare dinner doesn't take juice and snacks while waiting for me to get back to fix something up. When i get home first i also prepare the meals, Now for me and some out there that's marriage.

We don't necessarily need to have the same worldview. We don't have the same upbringing, lifestyles, exposure etc.

You kept mentioning alakija, that has plethora of cooks, and only cook together with enough cooks at her beck and call when she is around, which is once in a while .

She doesn't cook 365 days and when she does" sometimes", she does it with her cooks and she is never alone in the kitchen like most women.

Damaged goods, rabbits? Like really?, watch your languages please, counter arguments with points not insult.
There was no where I insulted you or spoke to you brashly, well sorry I spoke to you.

Have a nice day.

nabegibeg:


This one na stone age material


See mumu of the highest order

Who deceive you say your comment funny? Na the insecured fools wey like your talk like blind mices? You are the one eyed fool in the country of the blind and your fellow fools are just as lost you. Chinkos toys calling themselves men? It's good hell will be filled with more of your type. Go and claim superiority with the devil in your section of the fiery pit.