₦airaland Forum

Astrosmart:
She is the Nigerian first lady, Dr. Dame Chief (Mrs). Patience Fakabelema Jonathan (nee Oba). Her middle name is FAKABELEMA, often shortened to Faka, which means ‘Unending Blessings’. A permanent secretary in her native Bayelsa state. Dr Mrs Patience Jonathan is married to the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Goodluck Jonathan. She has thrilled us and made us laugh over the past few years with a number of her grammatical blunders. Here are just 20 of the most interesting ones:

20 Funniest Quotes From Patience Jonathan

1. My husband and Sambo is a good people.

2. The President was once a child and the Senators were once a children.

3. My fellow widows.

4. A good mother takes care of his children.

5. The people sitting before you were once a children.

6. Yes we are all happy for the effort,, it is not easy to carry second in an International competition like this one, (addressing press men after Female Under-19 FIFA World Cup).

7. The bombers who born them? Wasn’t it not a woman? They were once a children now a adult now they are bombing women and children making some children a widow.

8. My heart feels sorry for these children who have become widows for loosing their parents for one reason or another.

9. We should have love for our fellow Nigerians irrespective of their NATIONALITY.

10. Thank God the Doctors and Nurses are responding to treatment.

11. I would rather kill myself instead of committing suicide.

12. Ojukwu is a great man, he died but his manhood lives on.

13) Chai! Chai! There is God o… there’s God in everything we are doing, continue!

14) Na only you waka come?

15) Vote UMBLERRA and press your finger for UMBLERRA.

16) My husband, Dr Goodluck Jonathan and Sambo is a quiet people

17. At least we all have HIV AIDS except that some of us are negative and some of us are positive (On World AIDS day speech)

18) History’ll not be completely without OJUKWU.

19) The people sitting before you here were once a Children

20) I donate my family on behalf of 20million


HER FAMOUS WORDS
“I was just doing my own thing not knowing that in far away Asia everything was being noted.
I want to assure you all that with God’s help I will do more. My grandma used to say:
`Whatever little you have, share; If you have a thousand and you can’t share, you won’t
share a million if you have’. -Dame Patience Jonathan while she was being honored with a
doctorate degree in South Korea, October, 2013.

“I remember when Chief Obasanjo was the President of the country, I was close to his late
wife, Stella. We worshiped together in this chapel. It was a painful moment for me that time
when she (Stella) died and her corpse was brought here.

“That was how my corpse would have been brought here. It was not an easy experience for
me. I actually died, I passed out for more than a week. My intestine and tummy were opened.

“I am not Lazarus but my experience was similar to his. My doctors said all hope was lost.

“A black doctor in London who is with us in this service was flown in when the situation
became critical. It was God himself in His infinite mercy that said I will return to Nigeria. God
woke me up after seven days.

“I know that some people somehow leaked the information that I was dead. They are people
that I trust and rely on; to them, I was dead and I would never return to the country alive.
Some of them even sold my things off.

“I won’t say everything here. It is the Lord’s doing that I returned alive. When God says yes,
nobody can say no.

“People are always afraid of operation (surgery) but in my own case, while my travail lasted, I
was begging for it (surgery) after the third operation because I was going to the theatre
everyday.

“It was God who saw me through. I did eight or nine operations within one month. It was not
an easy one.

“The day I came back, I said God I have nothing to say, I offer myself to you. I will be doing
things that will touch the lives of the less privileged. -18th February 2013, Vanguard.

Shayetet13:
You have a funny way of prioritization. People are hungry and dying, the country is insecure and Army killing citizens and you are here talking of Mama peace. Take your time o