cleared

Honestly I didn't understand the entire point of this thread.

I just knew your mum treated you badly. When a lady experiences divorce or death of husband at an early stage of marriage and especially when kids are still young, it affects her emotionally and psychologically. Some people lose hope and sometimes those children looks like source of problem to them. Seeing what they will pass through before getting them to be independent.


Most ladies doesn't know how to manage this period of their life and you the daughter must understand and bear with them.

Kindly forgive her, it will increase your life span by so doing.

Get off Nairaland, you need professional therapy.

Nonye1234:
[s]Guys,I need to hear from you on this topic


"Hi,when I was seven,my father died.My mom was left with me and my elder brother.But she was never really involved in our lives before. She's never there,my aunt does the cooking,taking us to school,training us and all.I can say my aunt is like a mother to us.
When he died,my mom took it out on me but as a kid,I didn't understand what it was doing to me.She never took it out on my brother and sometimes it felt like I was some adopted child who isn't part of the family.
But I kept on being a good person,always trying to please her, accepting faults that are not mine. She has done a lot of things to me that has wrecked me emotionally and psychologically.
Normally, I'm the type of person you call " eko to tutu" I'm very cool and quiet and don't like too much talking.Very reserved, a loner and have few friends.So you can imagine how much I have endured,I've an had this hope that one day,she'll be my best friend
but it never happened
what hurts is not because of what she's doing,but because its not my fault,I never do anything to annoy her,even if it makes me a fool,I always kept this pain in.
she curses me,insults me,she's the reason I have a problem with my eyes.
I have been harassed three times and molested by a lady during camping but I couldn't tell anyone.This was because anytime they see me,they think of me as a bad cursed child who's bent on making my mom sad,so they never believe me.I can't tell anyone what my mom is capable of coz they'll never believe me,and if I can't take it anymore and walk out or say that I've heard,they blame me,they always say I'm at fault.I tried to tell her about the school principal who was trying to make me play with his manhood and do things to me, but she called me a LovePeddler that the principal is her friend and would never do such
She broke my walls,I find it hard to talk to people,relate with them,find it hard to love any guy.I have a serious problem of depression and low self esteem.
Can't face people at church,my past or even at her work place
I can't all the things she's done,only way I survived was forgiving and nursing my pain

now I'm grown,struggling to be a normal girl but it's just so hard.
people I don't know would come to beat me,rudely speak to me,some take me to church with the mindset that I'm taking my mother for granted
they treat me like sh*t
if I try to explain, I can't
its as if words won't come out

everybody blames me now for who I have become
for the space between my mom and I
even though until now,I'm still struggling

What do you think i should do again
I wanna be normal
have a peaceful life"[/s]

Go straight to the point.

When are you dropping your account number for "help"?

Criis:
Get off Nairaland, you need professional therapy.

please, your words are sharp

I believe that the solution to every problem is in a book somewhere. I recommend "The Science of Being in 27 lessons" by Eugene Fersen.

LuciferRedeemer:


Go straight to the point.
When are you dropping your account number for "help"?

lol

I didn't read your epistle but you are to be blamed.

Ranchhoddas:
I believe that the solution to every problem is in a book somewhere.
I recommend "The Science of Being in 27 lessons" by Eugene Fersen.

thank you

you were just introducing and describing yourself, can you summarize?

Well your mom caused it... So decide on what to do and be firm on your decision, don't be intimidated by anyone, you have your life to live, live happy, forget the past and look with straight eyes into the future! You didn't kill her husband, you've come your own life and you are winning, so stay strong!

Sorry dear. You've been through a lot of psychological trauma. I can relate. But you can't get any help or reasonable advice here on nairaland. Only insults, criticism and ridicule. This forum is more of a playground.

I'd suggest you go to Quora. Open an account and describe your situation in clear English. A lot of professionals are there to advise you.

girl life is a decision..you need to train your mind from the grassroot.and you cant do this alone get a life coach...sorry dear.

...

One way to get more of what you need in life is to avoid people who bring you down.

Nonye1234, pls how old are you?

seems you have some self esteem issues caused by what you experienced growing up.
you do not need anybody to vaildate or confirm who you are. you just need to be more confident and grow a tough skin.
if you do not like your surroundings(Ps if you have a good job etc) move out or seek a transfer and develop yourself.
one cannot continue to stay in the shadow of ones past.
finally get professional help. make research on emotional intelligence too. it will help.

You know like someone said, you need professional help and if you're hoping to get that virtually, Nairaland is the wrong place for that, go somewhere like Reddit or Quora. But try to be more articulate.

Nairaland is a place you bring conjectures on wide pu**y and boyfriend's smelly boxers.

Sorry hun.

You have to understand that your mother has issues not you, mentally remove yourself from that situation.


As for the abuse by your principal google project alert and send them a message reporting it, they will take it up and believe me your principal will be stopped from abusing others too.

Your mother like so many others get away with abuse because people wrongly believe a mother is always right and perfect plus being a widow makes her an extra victim. Some of us faced worse, remove yourself emotionally from her grip stop expecting love or anything and stand up for yourself, when you get older she will use tears to be manipulating you reporting you everywhere don't fall for it, if she is serious she will apologise for the trauma she put you through before you genuinely forgive her

Nonye1234:


thank you

Before I say anything, can you afford to move out from your mum's house?

donproject:
I didn't read your epistle but you are to be blamed.

your reason?

Tosinex:
Well your mom caused it... So decide on what to do and be firm on your decision, don't be intimidated by anyone, you have your life to live, live happy, forget the past and look with straight eyes into the future! You didn't kill her husband, you've come your own life and you are winning, so stay strong!

thanks a lot

pryme:


Before I say anything, can you afford to move out from your mum's house?

no,maybe when I serve

Eketem:
You have to understand that your mother has issues not you, mentally remove yourself from that situation.


As for the abuse by your principal google project alert and send them a message reporting it, they will take it up and believe me your principal will be stopped from abusing others too.

Your mother like so many others get away with abuse because people wrongly believe a mother is always right and perfect plus being a widow makes her an extra victim. Some of us faced worse, remove yourself emotionally from her grip stop expecting love or anything and stand up for yourself, when you get older she will use tears to be manipulating you reporting you everywhere don't fall for it, if she is serious she will apologise for the trauma she put you through before you genuinely forgive her

she doesn't look like shell say sorry
but I'll pray
I have forgiven her though

Eketem:
You have to understand that your mother has issues not you, mentally remove yourself from that situation.


As for the abuse by your principal google project alert and send them a message reporting it, they will take it up and believe me your principal will be stopped from abusing others too.

Your mother like so many others get away with abuse because people wrongly believe a mother is always right and perfect plus being a widow makes her an extra victim. Some of us faced worse, remove yourself emotionally from her grip stop expecting love or anything and stand up for yourself, when you get older she will use tears to be manipulating you reporting you everywhere don't fall for it, if she is serious she will apologise for the trauma she put you through before you genuinely forgive her

she doesn't look like shell say sorry
but I'll pray

Nonye1234:


no,maybe when I serve

Your number one priority should be to move out, don't leave this for a man that will come and marry you.
You will never start living life as long as you stay with the your mother.

You have to leave, when you do, heal your self, then come back and face your mum.
Let her know all the pain she had caused you, pour out your hate or anger, cos as far as some of these parents are concerned, they believe they are the best parent a child could have, even when they make you feel worthless.

And strive to be nothing like your mother, don't let your kids go through the same trauma, that cycle should end with you.

Nonye1234:


she doesn't look like shell say sorry
but I'll pray
I have forgiven her though

That sorry is mostly in the far future when she is old and needs you

pryme:


Your number one priority should be to move out, don't leave this for a man that will come and marry you.
You will never start living life as long as you stay with the your mother.

You have to leave, when you do, heal your self, then come back and face your mum.
Let her know all the pain she had caused you, pour out your hate or anger, cos as far as some of these parents are concerned, they believe they are the best parent a child could have, even when they make you feel worthless.

And strive to be nothing like your mother, don't let your kids go through the same trauma, that cycle should end with you.

thank you so much

Nonye1234:


thank you so much

You are welcome.