Ifeoma77:

Okay let's say I agree with you that every organisation, community, group or gathering must have a head.
Let's say I agree with you that a marriage cannot function without a clear head in charge.

Can you explain to me - logically - why that head must be the man?
Using your analogy, if in a marriage, the woman is more 'qualified' will you accept her as the head of the family? Since the only basis of your argument is that there must be a head.

Lol! This is a very good question that alot of men don't think through. Personally, I think I will be comfortable with a woman being in charge, especially if she is more capable than me. As long as love and harmony reigns.

Homguy:
This is interesting!.
I understand as the husband it's your duty to help out your wife If you really love her. I would not want my wife overworked for any reason at all.
But insisting that there must be a roster for cooking, doing dishes and household chores is a no-no. Was that the way you and your hubby lived while here?! ...and I know you have to adapt, but that's why you should pray for and marry an understanding partner so they can step up without having to be chained.

To those men rushing out to support these strange views, while i am not sure if you are just trying to be politically correct, or trying to look good to some faceless people but there are gender roles-I hope you cook equal times as your wives do . Even in the so called "civilized countries "we are talking about. I would personally do all I can to help my wife out always, but we are never having any rosters.

It's my own opinion but I have this feeling you are embittered in some way, going by your responses so far, but I might be wrong.

I'm a man. I wouldn't do a roster myself. Only for the children though.

Ifeoma77:

Okay let's say I agree with you that every organisation, community, group or gathering must have a head.
Let's say I agree with you that a marriage cannot function without a clear head in charge.

Can you explain to me - logically - why that head must be the man?
Using your analogy, if in a marriage, the woman is more 'qualified' will you accept her as the head of the family? Since the only basis of your argument is that there must be a head.

It's important not to shift goal posts. You and pejuhazel argued for equality without any head figure. I disagreed.

...I wonder what would make a woman more capable of heading her home, except she's married to a loser, or some irresponsible man. In that case this argument wouldn't have happened.

More importantly please either agree or disagree that any institutions must have a head.

I'm so shocked with this argument this morning, this 21st century and someone is saying man should be head blah blah, I would really like to know if these men are married, if they are, how do their wives feel

Tojued:


Partnerships have no head. An institution headed by two partners both can be equal with equal responsibilities, shares and votes.

And to set all records straight, maternal is a MAN lol. Maternal sorry if I messed with any fun you were having by keeping that info out of this particular gist.

I knew this whole place would light up once the Nigerians woke up lol.

What is the meaning of this 'heading' head as per what? what will/are you teaching your daughters man

Homguy:
It's important not to shift goal posts. You and pejuhazel argued for equality without any head figure. I disagreed.

...I wonder what would make a woman more capable of heading her home, except she's married to a loser, or some irresponsible man. In that case this argument wouldn't have happened.

More importantly please either agree or disagree that any institutions must have a head.

It's hard to believe. The name though??
I had a very close friend(cum brother) during my Uni days whose names were "Oyindamola Ojuolape Eyitayo(not fullname)" he was the only male of Five children. He saw himself a feminist.
He came to mind on seeing this post.

maternal:


I'm a man. I wouldn't do a roster myself. Only for the children though.

Ha! Thank you God for my spouse, whose utmost desire is my happiness/well being and with that in mind, does all that he does Canada will thus not bring anything he isn't familiar with.

Oh! Thank God for myself too, for also doing all that I do, ensuring that my spouse is happy and we have a happy family overall. That is what matters eventually, family/communal happiness and well-being, who cares how we achieve it?!

I apologise if I sound immodest, but all the arguments from last night opened my eyes to more reasons why I should thank God, even as IRCC dey hold my PPR for over a year

daks02:
I'm so shocked with this argument this morning, this 21st century and someone is saying man should be head blah blah, I would really like to know if these men are married, if they are, how do their wives feel

Their wives feel the same way hence they married them. Chances are they are even happy.
The question is, will they still be happy once environment changes from Nigeria to Canada?Refer back to what I said about our ladies not being truly empowered.
Even the cheating and battery that guitarlife agrees is taboo, the average Nigerian woman is UNABLE to walk away from.
Me personally I have only one recommendation : every couple with what works for them.

Homguy:


It's hard to believe. The name though??
I had a very close friend(cum brother) during my Uni days whose names were "Oyindamola Ojuolape Eyitayo(not fullname)" he was the only male of Five children. He saw himself a feminist.
He came to mind on seeing this post.

A name is a name. Feminists? Far from it. I believe in equality in all aspects. If a woman puts her hands on me I'd beat her finish. That's how equal I am. Nobody gets a pass. Actually only momsy, daughter, and sister gets a pass. Just the hypocracy is funny. This was the same way slavery was justified. You know when the white used some nonsense bible verse, and claimed They re the masters and Africans should be submissive ? Can you imagine if a white man comes up to these men and say the nonsense They re saying about their woman ? It'd unacceptable and they'd be called racist.

How do hypocrites justify this ? Honestly.

daks02:
What is the meaning of this 'heading' head as per what? what will/are you teaching your daughters man

he's the head of the family, but that doesn't give him a license to be lazy, irresponsible and/or inconsiderate.

Importantly, I am married. And I do a lot of household chores except she insists.
But I would have no insistence on sharing household chores , or what have you.

Tojued:



Me personally I have only one recommendation : every couple with what works for them.

GBAM!

Tojued:


Partnerships have no head. An institution headed by two partners both can be equal with equal responsibilities, shares and votes.

And to set all records straight, maternal is a MAN lol. Maternal sorry if I messed with any fun you were having by keeping that info out of this particular gist.

I knew this whole place would light up once the Nigerians woke up lol.

real talk.

maternal:


A name is a name. Feminists? Far from it. I believe in equality in all aspects. If a woman puts her hands on me I'd beat her finish. That's how equal I am. Nobody gets a pass. Actually only momsy, daughter, and sister gets a pass. Just the hypocracy is funny. This was the same way slavery was justified. You know when the white used some nonsense bible verse, and claimed They re the masters and Africans should be submissive ? Can you imagine if a white man comes up to these men and say the nonsense They re saying about their woman ? It'd unacceptable and they'd be called racist.

How do hypocrites justify this ? Honestly.

So you would hit your wife then...because your daughter and sister won't be someone's wife or your mother wasn't somebody's wife...gtfoh

gorgebaby:
Ha! Thank you God for my spouse, whose utmost desire is my happiness/well being and with that in mind, does all that he does Canada will thus not bring anything he isn't familiar with.

Oh! Thank God for myself too, for also doing all that I do, ensuring that my spouse is happy and we have a happy family overall. That is what matters eventually, family/communal happiness and well-being, who cares how we achieve it?!

I apologise if I sound immodest, but all the arguments from last night opened my eyes to more reasons why I should thank God, even as IRCC dey hold my PPR for over a year

lol! Ppr will come soon.

Interesting argument..

Regina: https://www.nairaland.com/3617393/living-canada-life-canadian-immigrant/108#61148195

@Salford/Salford1 has more information, I think.

Sthill5:
Hi Everyone

I just have a couple of questions in an effort to plan ahead. My family and I are still awaiting PPR

We have decided to settle in Regina Sask and my greatest worry is my spouse finding a job. He's in IT, mainly computer network/system technician.
Is it possible to start to job search from Nigeria?

Any pointers with regards to life in Regina and job search would be highly appreciated.
I'm an entrepreneur and I work from home so I plan to continue to leverage on that so I can have time for my children

to each its own, but I believe it comes down to how much you love your spouse. one will be surprise at the level one will go to make one's spouse happy if there is love.

with love; respect, submission, willingness to do anything comes in. You don't clamor for respect, submission nor do you need to make a roaster for chores. the need to keep your spouse happy makes you do all these without being asked.

extraterestrial:

So you would hit your wife then...because your daughter and sister won't be someone's wife or your mother wasn't somebody's wife...gtfoh

Anyone who assaults me will get assaulted back. Minus those exceptions. The concept is not hard to understand. Perhaps a person should keep their hands to themselves if they don't want to be hit ? My Mother, daughter, and sister respect themselves and don't go around hitting people. And if they do, then they better be ready for the consequence. I don't hit people twice my size and strenght because I don't want to be beaten up. Get that feminists/ priviliage BS outta here my friend.

Ifeoma77:


the thread has been too quiet lately joor, it's about time we argue small

I tell you. They need to make us look forward to graduating lol. Just that they like arguing here they hardly quarrel.
But even our thread there's been no quarrel for ages o.

Merovingian:

You are not alone. Just this morning i had to research on this. I visited Ethiopian airline office weeks back who said 10kg (not sure the attendant understood that my flight was to Canada) but checking their website now i see 23kg for flights from/to Canada. I plan to call their office to clear this out

Hi @Merovingian
Hope you are good. Please have you been able to reach Ethiopian airlines to confirm the luggage allowance for infants? Been calling but no one has picked up.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

What i've realized with my little time on earth is to never make categorical statements. Life is fluid so it humbles you, people change, opinions change, in short everything changes as you grow. Everyone experiences life/marriage in different ways based on their makeup, external conditioning, religion and all that. Some women believe a man must beat them if he truly loves them , others will take no nonsense from any man. Some men want total submission from their spouse, others just wing it and go with the flow. In summary, everyone with their opinions, so no point arguing, just do you because there's a match for every single person on this earth.

Love is what matters.

If there's really true love between a couple, you wont have a problem sharing chores/responsibility with your wife or husband, bathing the kids sometimes, cooking meals, contributing financially to the upkeep of the family (as a wife) without been asked.. etc ..
I mean these things should come easily to you..
Marriage is a partnership between two people. Not a relstionship between master and a slave

That been said, i still agree that the man is the head of the family.

jholarharde:
to each its own, but I believe it comes down to how much you love your spouse. one will be surprise at the level one will go to make one's spouse happy if there is love.

with love; respect, submission, willingness to do anything comes in. You don't clamor for respect, submission nor do you need to make a roaster for chores. the need to keep your spouse happy makes you do all these without being asked.

This flexibility is what our religions are forgetting to preach. They keep dictating generic standards. It is the most essential element for happiness in any relationship.

Please don't forget to drop pictures oooo, its been a while...
let's see the white Christmas, the turkey abi chicken...
heat don finish me for here

at all at all... abeg...

i just cant wait for 2019

Haaaa,I am so happy I can finally comment ...So I been a silent reader for about a year and I decided to register because of this marriage arguement.Most men on here are not ready to get married oh...which one is submit and head in marriage?smh

pls guys do not derail this forum. FOCUS!!!

@VCOLE & other gurus.

please are there sperm banks in Canada? have you heard of any?

Thanks

Homguy:
It's important not to shift goal posts. You and pejuha.zel argued for equality without any head figure. I disagreed.

...I wonder what would make a woman more capable of heading her home, except she's married to a loser, or some irresponsible man. In that case this argument wouldn't have happened.

More importantly please either agree or disagree that any institutions must have a head.

Tojued already gave you an answer as regards the bolded. That partnerships don't have a 'head'.

You know what? I was ready to argue this out but now I'm bored so yeah, go with whatever floats your boat

Canadachi:
Haaaa,I am so happy I can finally comment ...So I been a silent reader for about a year and I decided to register because of this marriage arguement.Most men on here are not ready to get married oh...which one is submit and head in marriage?smh

welcome

toboy:

Lol! This is a very good question that alot of men don't think through. Personally, I think I will be comfortable with a woman being in charge, especially if she is more capable than me. As long as love and harmony reigns.

They are coming for you ...

Hehehehehehehehe! Typical Nigerian hypocrisy being displayed here. Why did you omit verse 21 of this your lengthy bible post. My people verse Ephesian 5:21 says "Submit to one another out of Reverence for Christ (The NIV bible titles from vs21 to end as (Instruction to Christian household). But the typical Nigerian guy will always ignore that verse 21. But its ok. My brother @guitarlife if you are going to stay in Canada you must revisit your mindset of submission although I have reasons to believe you didn't want to marry the lady in question. Your submission story is just a cover loool! We have all used it before and gone ahead to marry crazier women. My wife told me worse than this lady told you I still went ahead and married her because I was crazily in love with this crazy girl. Three years down the line. I have a woman who will transfer her whole salary to me if I am short of cash, do my laundry( I do not know how much washing a shirt cost, she washes and irons like a pro), send me to market with soup list,I have customers now..Lol! hand me okra to cut, taught me how to make spaghetti and plantain (infact she swears I fry plantain better than her so she has stopped frying plantain, I do that now..Loool!But all in all I have a woman who is willing to love me with her all, who is still not afraid to call me out whenever she feels I am wrong. If that is the partnership, my guy I will take it and to be sincere I am happy. I will not lie and say I wasnt scared prior marriage but I have learnt that all you need is a good woman. if the so called partnership is me taking part in house chores. It hasn't killed me yet. This our Canadian journey she gave it her all infact I just started participating. My opinion is let us all work with stuff that will work for us. Naija favors we men all the time but if you are planning to move here with your spouse my dear naija brothers readjust o. Bikokwa to avoid had I known. If you dont want to you can do like our Igbo brothers relocate alone and be sending money down but then there are still downsides to that..

DadR:
@guitarlife @azed1 @vcole @salford @panelofjudges @ouraudience

I'm not here to argue , this is just for the records and to provide some clarity regarding whatever position our debaters have taken.

Ephesians 5:22-33

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

1 Corinthians 11:3, 8-9

3. But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
8. For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.
9. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

Peace!

Guitarlife:

The bolded means alot to me, you agree we cannot have two drivers right ? We are making progress gradually .
Now to the question of why the west has a higher divorce rate, it sounds somewhat counter-intuitive , are you saying that Westerners having higher divorce rate is a testament of their "non-hypocriticalness" ?

There are very few women who do not have a problem with submitting to their spouses, that is the kind of woman that I want, its my desire.
You are a guy so you can go around looking for a woman who questions your authority . Goodluck with finding one and goodluck to me too.

Bro how far. I done DM you abeg. I done join this waka too ooo. Make we talk