So I went to Lagos and had already boarded a bus on my way back to Ibadan. All the seats have been occupied except the back row, where only one person was seated, and the fold-up seats and the passenger seat next to the driver.

First, I don't like those fold-up seats because you can't rest your back well on it or lean to the one in front of you in case you want to sleep and then the passenger seat beside the driver, I don't like that one because the way the person sitting next to you will squeeze you eh and the driver will keep telling you to adjust your legs, you will now have to seat like a statue all through the journey.

Not to talk of the way he will be hitting you when changing the gear, you will start wondering whether you paid half of the transport fare or he is giving you a free ride.

So I took my seat at the back and the earthquakes that finally rocked my waist all in the name of gallops each time the driver jumped into potholes made me shout that he should remember we entered a bus not a rocket. I don't know if he was using us to practice what he sees when watching Formula One or he forgot that Nigerian roads are not Formula One tracks and are not Formula One driving friendly. Those smart people eh, no wonder they all rushed and took seats in front and avoided the back.

Then this woman came with her three kids, two boys and a girl. The boys were like 8 and 10 years old and the girl was about say 5 years old.

When she realized that only two seats were remaining, one at the back and the conductor seat. She started quarrelling with the bus because I don't think any of us had her time.

That there is no way she can sit at the back, that someone in one of the other rows should go to the back while she takes the person's place, meanwhile, this lady only paid for one seat.

All the people in the front seats just behaved as if she wasn't even talking to them. When everybody gave her the silent treatment, she now proceeded to join us at the back, that was when the real trouble started. In fact, this woman had trouble written all over her. First, she asked the young lady sitting at the right end of the backseat to adjust so that she will seat at the end.
That there is no way she can sit in the middle and be carrying kids.

After initial hesitation the young lady adjusted. I was just seating at the other end and observing when the shocker abi knocker came, because it sounded and felt as if someone just gave me a knock, just short of being a knockout blow. Do you know what she said? She said that each one of the three of us at the back should carry her kids and that the lady sitting next to her should carry her daughter so that she will be close to her and that she wants a lady to be the one to carry her.
My mind wandered to the thought what if all of us at the back had been guys, what would she have said then. By now everybody was angry and tired of her drama, everyone was now asking her, "madam which one will you carry then?"

She defiantly answered that, her legs are paining her and that she would simply hold her bag, can you imagine? This woman is the real definition of a drama queen, Tonto Dikeh needs to go and upgrade her credentials with her. I know you will say but Tonto doesn't have any business in a public bus, but this her senior twin sister appears to do.

I offered to carry the younger of the two boys, at least, that one I know I can do. The guy by my side decided to help out with the older boy. After much argument, she finally agreed to carry her daughter but now insisted on that I must be the one to carry her older son, see me see wahala o.

People shouted at her that madam (you know that thing with we Nigerians, even when reprimanding someone, we will still call them madam, oga, as if they are our boss. Even though we are just using it as a way to refer to them), this is not your private car, so you can't be ditching out orders whichever way you like. That was what finally made her to calm down and we embarked on our journey.
What a bus.

And u typed all these without a picture, are u OK
Modified: At last u received enough sense to add a picture, Good!!!

You talk too much.

Ok, you have now come here to spew ur frustrations.

bloody talkative .... I fit march your mouth.

Eazie351:
Ok, you have now come here to spew ur frustrations.

If the frustration wasn't unbearable, I wouldn't have been spewing stew everywhere now.

Fiction

OK. Let us continue frying our harmattan

story story...... story

you should publish a book

Funny story, very possible in Lagos. However if I was the one that woman go hear weeeen because of that nonsense bossy attitude.

Lol, c as person take type all dz story, d hustle is real in dz part of the world #ENDTIME BUS

you are such a good writer man. I love the way you write. Regarding your story, I have never boarded a bus like that before and I pray I don't.

Some people are pure trouble, I remember the wahala one woman gave me all the way from kano to Auchi in 2016.

sconp:
Funny story, very possible in Lagos. However if I was the one that woman go hear weeeen because of that nonsense bossy attitude.

Mehn, it was the bossy attitude that was nerve wracking. If she had been asking nicely, everything would probably have gone smoothly and everyone showing understanding.

remiproxy:
you are such a good writer man. I love the way you write. Regarding your story, I have never boarded a bus like that before and I pray I don't.

Thanks man, I pray you never have such an experience too.

Lagos na wah.

Well the fact is it happens in lag..... public transport for lag na wash

danfo drivers and conductor no get conscience at all, the way dem go pack people inside bus like sardine still dey tell u mk u shift for more to enter

,

Is it true that you can now use Sanwo-olu to measure distance in Lagos?

"Moshalashi is 7 Sanwo-olu posters from Ojuelegba junction"

"Just count 5 Sanwo-olu posters, then turn left, then count 2 Sanwo-olu posters, my house is the one with Sanwo-olu in blue kaftan on the gate"
********************************************************************************************************************
Nigeria's problem is bigger than just 1 President,
let's try 2 Presidents.
Atiku For morning duty &
Buhari For night shift

The things we call Bus in Nigeria are not even fit to be called thrash in saner climes.

Feel free to check my signature to compare and book the cheapest possible flights and hotels worldwide. It's TOTALLY FREE.

godwinstringed1:

lol

Those buses that expand whenever it enters a pothole
I wonder what the vio are doing

how did this shit reach front page

You try. I don't help arrogant and entitled bigots like that lady.

You write well OP

You are indeed a patient guy.

Why can't she travel in her private car?

Shithole.....

its a lie


lie lai

I percieve the smell of last year, Mods welldone

Dangerous Things We Do in Danfo Buses