The period of living in Lagos without a car might be one of the defining periods in your life. I mean it. I am totally not kidding. You would know this especially if you don’t have the money to spend on Uber or Taxify daily. Who would do that when you are going to be stuck in traffic for up to 3 hours to and fro? Okay, some people would; but not me. I’m just a corps member, not Dangote’s daughter, so I stick to danfo, BRT buses, or Okada (motorbikes).

Don’t ask me how the name danfo came to be. I have no idea myself. I just know that danfos are the yellow commercial mini-buses with two black lines on them and arguably the most popular means of transportation in Lagos City.

As I was saying, the bus life in Lagos would teach you persistence, perseverance, tolerance, humility and above all, give you the hustling spirit. So believe me when I say it is an experience that would mold your life forever. If you are new to Lagos, get out your pen and paper and start jotting. This course is DANFO 101.

1. HUSTLE

The first and most important rule of danfo is hustling. You must learn to hustle, especially if you are plying a route with limited buses at rush hour. You would have to keep home training in your pocket and push whoever you can to get a seat on the bus. However, in doing this you must hold your bag as tightly as you can. Some pickpockets have found this struggle to be the perfect opportunity to perform some disappearing magic on your valuable belongings.

Don’t be like the guy who struggled to get in the bus and when he finally put his hand in his pocket to pay, his wallet was gone. So it is safe to say that you have fully mastered the art of danfo hustling only when you are able to protect your belongings and still get a good spot on the bus. This brings me to the next point.

2. GOOD SEAT WINDOW SEAT

The inside of a danfo is a whole new world entirely. It is usually made up of three or four rows of wooden chairs with metal frames and each row is supposed to contain four people no matter how tight it is. You don’t want to be the person sandwiched between the fat, sweaty man trying to press his phone and the woman with three kids that only paid for one spot. I’ve been that person; so trust me when I say you don’t want to be that person. You should aim for a window seat. This would also isolate you from the smell of different things and bodies in the bus.

The front seat would be most preferable but if you aim for that and don’t get it, your chances of getting into the main bus are very slim. And let us not even talk about that seat between the front seat and the driver. Don’t ever sit there! Apart from it having no seat belt (like your life doesn’t matter), the driver would constantly hit your knees trying to use the gear and you would feel serious heat from the engine. So to clarify, aim for the front seat (the true front seat) or a window seat.

3. MOVE WITH CHANGE

To avoid commotion when using danfo, try your best to move with loose change. You would hear most conductors shouting already “ Wole pelu change e” (Enter with your change). Most of them hate the rigorous process of looking for change while some actually have change but like looking for trouble. So to save yourself from endless banter, move around with change for danfo purposes. When you don’t have change, try informing the conductor beforehand and he would most likely tell you to enter if it is not rush hour but if it is… See the next point!

4. SWITCH UP

Enter like that! Yes, I said it. Don’t be asking if there is change while others are hustling for a bus. My dear, if you don’t have change, enter with your 1000 NGN. Now what you need to do here is to switch up. You have to be able to go from 0 to 100 real quick. Being classy and posh would not work for you here.

You have to ask for your change quickly. Most conductors would tell you to hold on and give you your change later but some may act stubborn. You would have to become loud and razz in the banter that would ensue. Make statements that assert your streetness and how you would stop at nothing to get your change. Hopefully, they won’t realize it is all mouth and beat you up lol.

5. BE ATTENTIVE

While in a danfo, be very attentive. You can make use of your earpiece if the journey is a long distance but be sure to remove it from time to time to be aware of your environment. Hold your phone tightly if you are using it. Yes, they can snatch it through the window. Be wise, pay attention.

6. REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT

Whatever it is that is danfo business, keep repeating it. These bus conductors seem to have a lot on their mind so the only way to reinforce your needs is to keep repeating it. If you are to collect 350 NGN change, for example, keep repeating “350 change oo” till you get your change. Once you are two stops away from your bus stop, start repeating the stop to the conductor. You have to familiarize yourself with the phrase “O wa!!!” If you decide to use other variations like “There is!” or “I’m alighting” or “Stop here”, just know that you will be carried past your destination and to the last bus stop.

I hope you’ve been a little enlightened by this crash course on surviving the danfo life in Lagos. If you cannot cope with danfo, then you are in luck. I would give you my BRT crash course very soon so expect BRT 101. Till then, hold tight to your belongings and remember that a danfo is no place to be posh.

Thank you for reading! For my Lagos people, We want to hear from you. How do you move about in Lagos? What is your danfo story? Haha! I can’t wait to read comments. Gist away!

source: https://www.titiloyeblog.com/2019/02/danfo-lagos.html

You still try, you forget to add say make he mind him own bizness.

fuckerstard:
You still try, you forget to add say make he mind him own bizness.

lol... na so oo...

But you fit add am for the comment box here for others to see: https://www.titiloyeblog.com/2019/02/danfo-lagos.html

Queue

Don’t be like the guy who struggled to get in the bus and when he finally put his hand in his pocket to pay, his wallet was gone.

Shine Your Eyes and WELCOME TO LAGOS!!!

Lagos this Lagos that, watin make we no go rest on top Lagos matter for nairaland

Lagos na wah

Most danfo buses no get side mirror, so every James Bond-like overtaking na testimony say God truly exist. Lol

Leave Lagos and relocate to a state with peace of mind.

Many people living in other states live better quality of life than those in Lagos.

I am so glad I left that state

The day I left my 400 change with a conductor, from Costain to Apapa.


I told myself me go do them back

If I enter your moto you nor ask money I nor go remind you o

4 - 1 still counting.

Just this morning I enter a danfo bus from cele bus stop to Oshodi, my sister gave the conductor 500 naira for the both of us since the fare was 100 naira per person. The conductor started shouting at her and was telling her shebi I tell u say enter with your change, when he refused to collect the money I told him since he does not want to give us change let us come down and the mumu sef gree. He dropped us at Toyota bus stop out of anger. We had to pay 50 naira to continue our journey to Oshodi, who lose now?

JJC

Lol. Good write up.

A lot of things go on in a danfo bus. From violent argument to drug marketers, perverts, pick pockets, pastors etc. Lagos NAWA!

simple250:
The day I left my 400 change with a conductor, from Costain to Apapa.


I told myself me go do them back

If I enter your moto you nor ask money I nor go remind you o

4 - 1 still counting.

Entered bus one year like that.. Gave d Conductor 200n d fare was 150.. He told me to bring 50n den give me 400 ...Luck 4 him i was not heartless den..

simple250:
The day I left my 400 change with a conductor, from Costain to Apapa.


I told myself me go do them back

If I enter your moto you nor ask money I nor go remind you o

4 - 1 still counting.

Entered bus one year like that.. Gave d Conductor 200n d fare was 150.. He told me to bring 50n den give me 400 ...Lucky 4 him i was not heartless den..

Guys support me by downloading this browser its just 3mb and it is very secure, also you get $5 when you refer a friend to download
https://brave.com/xbo409

I don't ve that patient i just take bike....

Na real danfo 101, no kidding.

anonymous96:

Entered bus one year like that.. Gave d Conductor 200n d fare was 150.. He told me to bring 50n den give me 400 ...Luck 4 him i was not heartless den..

now nko

To survive with the ones who sit directly beside you and keep reading your chat in danfo, just launch the Whatsapp app or SMS, and type "One idiot is right here beside me reading my chats with you." (make sure you bold it ). I have done it several times, and the reaction I get afterwards is always laughable.

Lagos na Scam las las

....to avoid all these streets just take Uber....

[quote author=titiloyeblog post=75832734]The period of living in Lagos without a car might be one of the defining periods in your life. I mean it. I am totally not kidding. You would know this especially if you don’t have the money to spend on Uber or Taxify daily. Who would do that when you are going to be stuck in traffic for up to 3 hours to and fro? Okay, some people would; but not me. I’m just a corps member, not Dangote’s daughter, so I stick to danfo, BRT buses, or Okada (motorbikes).

Don’t ask me how the name danfo came to be. I have no idea myself. I just know that danfos are the yellow commercial mini-buses with two black lines on them and arguably the most popular means of transportation in Lagos City.

As I was saying, the bus life in Lagos would teach you persistence, perseverance, tolerance, humility and above all, give you the hustling spirit. So believe me when I say it is an experience that would mold your life forever. If you are new to Lagos, get out your pen and paper and start jotting. This course is DANFO 101.

1. HUSTLE

The first and most important rule of danfo is hustling. You must learn to hustle, especially if you are plying a route with limited buses at rush hour. You would have to keep home training in your pocket and push whoever you can to get a seat on the bus. However, in doing this you must hold your bag as tightly as you can. Some pickpockets have found this struggle to be the perfect opportunity to perform some disappearing magic on your valuable belongings.

Don’t be like the guy who struggled to get in the bus and when he finally put his hand in his pocket to pay, his wallet was gone. So it is safe to say that you have fully mastered the art of danfo hustling only when you are able to protect your belongings and still get a good spot on the bus. This brings me to the next point.

2. GOOD SEAT WINDOW SEAT

The inside of a danfo is a whole new world entirely. It is usually made up of three or four rows of wooden chairs with metal frames and each row is supposed to contain four people no matter how tight it is. You don’t want to be the person sandwiched between the fat, sweaty man trying to press his phone and the woman with three kids that only paid for one spot. I’ve been that person; so trust me when I say you don’t want to be that person. You should aim for a window seat. This would also isolate you from the smell of different things and bodies in the bus.

The front seat would be most preferable but if you aim for that and don’t get it, your chances of getting into the main bus are very slim. And let us not even talk about that seat between the front seat and the driver. Don’t ever sit there! Apart from it having no seat belt (like your life doesn’t matter), the driver would constantly hit your knees trying to use the gear and you would feel serious heat from the engine. So to clarify, aim for the front seat (the true front seat) or a window seat.

3. MOVE WITH CHANGE

To avoid commotion when using danfo, try your best to move with loose change. You would hear most conductors shouting already “ Wole pelu change e” (Enter with your change). Most of them hate the rigorous process of looking for change while some actually have change but like looking for trouble. So to save yourself from endless banter, move around with change for danfo purposes. When you don’t have change, try informing the conductor beforehand and he would most likely tell you to enter if it is not rush hour but if it is… See the next point!

4. SWITCH UP

Enter like that! Yes, I said it. Don’t be asking if there is change while others are hustling for a bus. My dear, if you don’t have change, enter with your 1000 NGN. Now what you need to do here is to switch up. You have to be able to go from 0 to 100 real quick. Being classy and posh would not work for you here.

You have to ask for your change quickly. Most conductors would tell you to hold on and give you your change later but some may act stubborn. You would have to become loud and razz in the banter that would ensue. Make statements that assert your streetness and how you would stop at nothing to get your change. Hopefully, they won’t realize it is all mouth and beat you up lol.

5. BE ATTENTIVE

While in a danfo, be very attentive. You can make use of your earpiece if the journey is a long distance but be sure to remove it from time to time to be aware of your environment. Hold your phone tightly if you are using it. Yes, they can snatch it through the window. Be wise, pay attention.

6. REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT

Whatever it is that is danfo business, keep repeating it. These bus conductors seem to have a lot on their mind so the only way to reinforce your needs is to keep repeating it. If you are to collect 350 NGN change, for example, keep repeating “350 change oo” till you get your change. Once you are two stops away from your bus stop, start repeating the stop to the conductor. You have to familiarize yourself with the phrase “O wa!!!” If you decide to use other variations like “There is!” or “I’m alighting” or “Stop here”, just know that you will be carried past your destination and to the last bus stop.

I hope you’ve been a little enlightened by this crash course on surviving the danfo life in Lagos. If you cannot cope with danfo, then you are in luck. I would give you my BRT crash course very soon so expect BRT 101. Till then, hold tight to your belongings and remember that a danfo is no place to be posh.

Thank you for reading! For my Lagos people, We want to hear from you. How do you move about in Lagos? What is your danfo story? Haha! I can’t wait to read comments. Gist away!


2. GOOD SEAT WINDOW SEAT

That is my Best position

One good thing about Lagos conductors is that they don't easily run away with people's change.

Been in Lagos since July last year for my youth service and I must say that danfo experience is the real experience of typical Lagos state.

Switching from a state where life is easy to Eko isn't beans walahi

I've lost #100 change from CMS to orile bus stop

I've missed my bus stop because I was listening to J.Cole's '4 your eyez only' album.

I've been subjected to unconsciousness of the odour the bridge (right after Oke Afa Arcade memorial) generates due to the refuse dumped there

I've jumped into and out of a moving vehicle. Some drivers (especially those Oshodi ones) won't make heaven


Sandwiched in between people with bad odor, sweating profusely or eating with no care in the world. haaaaaaa please

The mothers with 100 children that want the rest of the passengers to lap her children one by one


Did I mention the ones that match my white tennis shoe when going for CDS without saying sorry?


Two weeks ago (the day bubu came to Lagos), I held a conductor by the waistband of the trouser at Jakande gate, because he refused to acknowledge the fact he owed me #400 change. This uncle waited until he got embarrassed before he gave me my change. And to think the passengers who saw me give him #500 didn't say shit when I demanded for my change

I'm still glad this last one no enter instablog

Took danfo from Anthony to Ojuelegba....Conductor forgot to ask for his money....I had to call him back to give him his money.

Lagos is overrated. About 40B Nairai IGR monthly and no standard transport system. People are wasting their lives in traffic. How can a man fulfill his potential. You live for 60yrs, spend 20 yrs of that in traffic.

saajus:
Lagos is overrated. About 40B Nairai IGR monthly and no standard transport system. People are wasting their lives in traffic. How can a man fulfill his potential. You live for 60yrs, spend 20 yrs of that in traffic.

This one off me.

saajus:
Lagos is overrated. About 40B Nairai IGR monthly and no standard transport system. People are wasting their lives in traffic. How can a man fulfill his potential. You live for 60yrs, spend 20 yrs of that in traffic.

This one off me.