₦airaland Forum

Young man, you coming
to seek my daughter’s
hand in marriage and you are chewing gum. That’s
a sign of disrespect! Akpors: Sir, I only chew gum
when I drink or
smoke. Father-In-Law: You mean u drink & smoke
and you
are here to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage?
Akpors: Sir I only drink & smoke when I go to the
club. Father-In-Law: U club too? Akpors: I’m sorry
sir, I
started clubbing when I came out of prison. Father-
In-Law:-U’ve also been in prison before? Oh
my God! Akpors: Sorry sir, I went to jail when I
killed
somebody! Father-In-Law:-What!!! U’re a killer
Akpors: Sir, it happened out of anger. It was a
certain man that didn’t allow me marry his
daughter so I killed him. Father-In-Law: You are
highly welcome my son. U
are on the right track. U are absolutely the right
man for my daughter.

A Zimbabwean girl married a French man and went 2
Paris. She didn't knw French. One day she went to the
market alone to buy chicken thighs, she lifted her
skirt&showed her legs. This went on 4 some days.
The other day she wanted to buy chicken breast so she
lifted her top and showed her breasts.
The following day she wanted to buy bananas. She took
her husband along with her. U know why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because he understood french ! Dirty mind,what were you thinking

Akpos' phone rings...
Lady{on phone}: hi sir, i want
to meet and talk to you. You
are the father of one of my
kids.
Akpos stuned; OMG!
Are you Jennifer?
No
Are you Anne?
No
Are you Josephine?
No
Are you Chichi?
No
Are you Chinyere?
No
Are you Omowunmi?
No
Are you Folashade?
No
Are you Hauwa?
No
Are you Mariam?
No
{after few seconds of
silence}
Are you Gabriella?
Confused lady replied: No
sir,i am the class teacher of
your son
One word for Akpos

A dog died and the owner took it to Akpos. He asked Akpos if he could organise a funeral service for
the dead animal.
Akpos: no we cant hold a service for your dog in our church but there is a church down
the street, maybe they will do it for you.
Man: but pastor will that church accept a donation of $ 1million ?
Akpos shouted and asked, why didnt you tell me the dog was a christian?

If Animals and Insects were on Facebook, This Would Be Their Comments

1. MOSQUITO WALL POST:
Finally PHCN don off light, blood sucking things.
COMMENTS:
(a) **** up, dey don on gen for my end.
(b) Abeg bros which area you dey? My people don fleet house.

2. DOG WALL POST:
Na wa oh..... I never even stay reach 5mins, all these Calabar people don dey eye me. *Ghost mode activated, them no go see me* escaping things on my mind.
COMMENTS: My neighbour na calabar too. The man eyes no good for where dogs dey... I go bite am soo.

3. HE-GOAT WALL POST:
Heat mood activated, any she-goat online for se'x chat?
COMMENTS:
(a) She-goat.@He-goat you're a capital BIG fool.
(b) He-goat. @She-goat, pretender, as if you no dey feel Hot. Carry your smelling backside comot for post jor.

4.COCK WALL POST:
All these hen go dey run like say dey no wan do.But if you catch them,dem go bend quickly,set for doggy style.
COMMENT:Your own better nah,you dey catch them.The ones for my area na fast and furious.I don pursue tire.

NIGERIA 53 years report card By Akpos
Electricity..............E8
Education.............E8
Prostitution..........A1
Good Road.............D7
Banking Sector......E8
Terrorism...............A1.
Creativity..................D7
Telecommunication....E8
Security....................F9

A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had spent the night at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had spent the night at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept at their place, and two said he was still there!!!

Three traders are selling at the market.
One sells apples, the second one sells bread and third one sells yam but they were all running short on sales. So they each began to pray...
Apple Seller: Lord Jesus you are
the apple of my eye!
And the next minute all her apples were sold.
Seeing this, the bread seller took a
cue and prayed
Bread Seller: Lord you said you are the
bread of life.
And also in a minute all her loaves of
bread were sold.
NOW , The yam seller knowing very well that yam was not mentioned in the bible tried to play smart and so he prayed..
Yam Seller: Lord Jesus you said I YAM that I YAM!

Adore your shot mate

FzanyAjibs:
Adore your shot mate

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