deltateam:


Are you God to assure her of 75 years? Can't you advice without bringing this hogwash up?

sisisioge:


You apparently can't read well. Please stay off my mentions. Good night.

Imogenn:


Now I recently just turned 25. I feel like I’m getting to that undesirable age and I just feel that I will never find a serious guy. I feel like I’m never going to find someone, I’m so lonely all the time I’m just fed up. I’m that anti social type that hates being in crowds so it’s sooo difficult to meet people. I’m just fed up of everything. I just feel damaged and I feel like I can’t trust anyone and i don’t want to waste my time with unserious men.

I need help.

Imogenn:
I wrote this thread last year about a guy that I had met who was into all kinds of rubbish
https://www.nairaland.com/4861952/god-showing-me-signs
Well after deceiving myself and going back and forth with him, I finally said enough is enough. I broke up with him early last month after i went through pictures on his phone through his email, and I saw that he had taken a picture of my bank card details to possibly steal from me. I also saw screenshots of him having friendly conversations with another girl in his church. Although there was nothing to serious in their chats, I just felt it wasn’t appropriate to have friendly conversations like that. So it’s done and it’s over.

Now I recently just turned 25. I feel like I’m getting to that undesirable age and I just feel that I will never find a serious guy. I feel like I’m never going to find someone, I’m so lonely all the time I’m just fed up. I’m that anti social type that hates being in crowds so it’s sooo difficult to meet people. I’m just fed up of everything. I just feel damaged and I feel like I can’t trust anyone and i don’t want to waste my time with unserious men.

I need help.

Imogenn:
I wrote this thread last year about a guy that I had met who was into all kinds of rubbish
https://www.nairaland.com/4861952/god-showing-me-signs
Well after deceiving myself and going back and forth with him, I finally said enough is enough. I broke up with him early last month after i went through pictures on his phone through his email, and I saw that he had taken a picture of my bank card details to possibly steal from me. I also saw screenshots of him having friendly conversations with another girl in his church. Although there was nothing to serious in their chats, I just felt it wasn’t appropriate to have friendly conversations like that. So it’s done and it’s over.

Now I recently just turned 25. I feel like I’m getting to that undesirable age and I just feel that I will never find a serious guy. I feel like I’m never going to find someone, I’m so lonely all the time I’m just fed up. I’m that anti social type that hates being in crowds so it’s sooo difficult to meet people. I’m just fed up of everything. I just feel damaged and I feel like I can’t trust anyone and i don’t want to waste my time with unserious men.

I need help.

Mindfulness:
The spirit of desperation.
Have you got nothing else going on in your life to focus on? You have been barley single for a month.
There is nothing like undesirable age if you take good care of yourself.

calgaryFriend:

Majority of people advising this poster are not abroad. Or they came to the abroad already married so they have no idea what it means to be a single, lonely , isolated, minority in a very individualised environment.

If you are already married or in Nigeria you will not understand so I will advise OP to listen to me.

Yeah, cos I am also going through the same thing right now.

Having said that, if you are someone that has lived in Naija or Africa having that sense of wanting to raise a good home, you will quickly find out majority of the people out here in the west are a downgrade from what you deserve or what your expectations are.

For me, what I see are very weak moralled people and I do not blame any one here, its just they way the society has conditioned them.

And the fact the p oster is female does not help matters cos unlike someone like me who is a guy and I can actually start hunting for people on the social media or whatsap groups, majority of people may prey on the poster if she does that.

So my suggestion is this, would you mind going back to Nigeria to spend a couple years to sort out that part of your life ?

I have about 3 years to stay where I am to get my citizenship so unless things change , I will probably just stay here till I get the citizenship and then go back to Nigeria to get a woman and probably come back here .

Its better not to be married, or marry late than to marry the wrong person.

I pray you find the peace you seek, I am currently in the same shoes as you and I can tell you, its a terrible place to be.

But with adequate planning things will become better. Just be patient.

You can hit me via mail, ayonaira@yahoo.com

deltateam:


Are you God to assure her of 75 years? Can't you advice without bringing this hogwash up?

Richy4:


Being abroad got nothing to do with her situation. In the so called abroad there are lots of activities that are always going on... A potential suitor or husband cannot find her at the comfort of her bedroom.. if she continues to lock herself up every time.. If she wants something she should get up and get what she wanted.. husband is not a pizza that u stay at home and order online...

Based on your argument, independence day is always celebrated outside Nigeria.. Which one does she identify herself with..

Nigerians celebrate end of year party all over the world where they were formed.. Does she attend?..

OK let us say she doesn't like to mingle with Nigerian activities abroad, What about church activities.. where lots of people from different background were invited..does she attend?.... if she is working, At least some colleagues must have invited her for a birthday party and other work related function, does she attend?

U made your argument sound like living abroad as a single man or woman was boring.. it is not.. Infact it's the most liberating.. She should work on herself first.. her insecurity and self esteem is pretty bad... Even going back to Nigeria to hunt for a husband will not solve it...

Richy4:


Being abroad got nothing to do with her situation. In the so called abroad there are lots of activities that are always going on... A potential suitor or husband cannot find her at the comfort of her bedroom.. if she continues to lock herself up every time.. If she wants something she should get up and get what she wanted.. husband is not a pizza that u stay at home and order online...

Based on your argument, independence day is always celebrated outside Nigeria.. Which one does she identify herself with..

Nigerians celebrate end of year party all over the world where they were formed.. Does she attend?..

OK let us say she doesn't like to mingle with Nigerian activities abroad, What about church activities.. where lots of people from different background were invited..does she attend?.... if she is working, At least some colleagues must have invited her for a birthday party and other work related function, does she attend?

U made your argument sound like living abroad as a single man or woman was boring.. it is not.. Infact it's the most liberating.. She should work on herself first.. her insecurity and self esteem is pretty bad... Even going back to Nigeria to hunt for a husband will not solve it...

calgaryFriend:

I have 2 questions for you.
Are you abroad ?
Are you single ?
Are you a christian ?

There are single people abroad, I am talking of people with the same values and convictions...

Actually, U asked three questions.. So which one do i erase?

Anyways...I can't go around announcing my geographical location. it is childish But yes I am outside Nigeria..Some people are commitment phoebes that could be why they are single and does not want to get tied down ...and Yes I am a christian..

Just want to let u know that this is not about me.. It's about the fact that u made it look like staying abroad and being single is a sentence to life everlasting boredom... It is not and based on the value you were talking about you can still have a wonderful life abroad without going to a night club or bar..if that's what you are insinuating...

The Value you were talking about, Have u asked the OP if she has tried to locate people with the same value and conviction as u put it in her locality or location? It's not cool to paint everyone with the same brush.. There are people that are still good and still have that gentlemanly qualities in them..
U made mention that u will be traveling to Nigeria to hunt for a wife, I hope u won't make the same mistake others has been making.. Thinking that home based is better than those abroad..If you don't know who u want to marry and you think u will know her within 3 months period of your holidays, you might be in for a shocker... I don't wanna read your story here on how you went and brought a girl abroad to marry and she changed over night..

Imogenn:
I wrote this thread last year about a guy that I had met who was into all kinds of rubbish
https://www.nairaland.com/4861952/god-showing-me-signs
Well after deceiving myself and going back and forth with him, I finally said enough is enough. I broke up with him early last month after i went through pictures on his phone through his email, and I saw that he had taken a picture of my bank card details to possibly steal from me. I also saw screenshots of him having friendly conversations with another girl in his church. Although there was nothing to serious in their chats, I just felt it wasn’t appropriate to have friendly conversations like that. So it’s done and it’s over.

Now I recently just turned 25. I feel like I’m getting to that undesirable age and I just feel that I will never find a serious guy. I feel like I’m never going to find someone, I’m so lonely all the time I’m just fed up. I’m that anti social type that hates being in crowds so it’s sooo difficult to meet people. I’m just fed up of everything. I just feel damaged and I feel like I can’t trust anyone and i don’t want to waste my time with unserious men.

I need help.

fieryy:


Why are you like this

calgaryFriend:

Majority of people advising this poster are not abroad. Or they came to the abroad already married so they have no idea what it means to be a single, lonely , isolated, minority in a very individualised environment.

If you are already married or in Nigeria you will not understand so I will advise OP to listen to me.

Yeah, cos I am also going through the same thing right now.

Having said that, if you are someone that has lived in Naija or Africa having that sense of wanting to raise a good home, you will quickly find out majority of the people out here in the west are a downgrade from what you deserve or what your expectations are.

For me, what I see are very weak moralled people and I do not blame any one here, its just they way the society has conditioned them.

And the fact the p oster is female does not help matters cos unlike someone like me who is a guy and I can actually start hunting for people on the social media or whatsap groups, majority of people may prey on the poster if she does that.

So my suggestion is this, would you mind going back to Nigeria to spend a couple years to sort out that part of your life ?

I have about 3 years to stay where I am to get my citizenship so unless things change , I will probably just stay here till I get the citizenship and then go back to Nigeria to get a woman and probably come back here .

Its better not to be married, or marry late than to marry the wrong person.

I pray you find the peace you seek, I am currently in the same shoes as you and I can tell you, its a terrible place to be.

But with adequate planning things will become better. Just be patient.

You can hit me via mail, ayonaira@yahoo.com

dep07:

Rotfl,Oh my God,Nairaland is a house of comedy.Did Sisioge offend you?
@ Op,take it easy,you just ended a relationship .Trust me you need time to heal emotionally.
You're just 25 for crying out loud. At this age, you should be thinking of self development ,take up new skills and while you are @ it please love yourself.

Imogenn:
Thank you. I’m that kind of person that hates crowds, If i have to interact with more than 2 people at once that I’m not familiar with, I get very paranoid and I start feeling very uncomfortable, that’s why I just avoid birthdays, or church events. I stay at home a lot. I know that’s one of my problems. I also think I’m very insecure, but nobody is perfect and I still have v good qualities about myself. I just don’t want to wait until I’m 30 then I’m running around looking for my husband, you get? I want to start now that I’m still in my 20s.

Richy4:


I got you dear.. That's why I am sounding like a broken record for you to work on that... No one is perfect I know.. even me that is typing this nonsense.. but I know one thing about myself that i am a go getter and when i want something I put in an effort to get it... that's how it works

You wanted a relationship that could end up in Marriage, Try and make an effort without getting yourself embarrassed... . Come out of your comfort zone a little it might help.. Start up like a crazy lady and enroll as an usher in your church.. if u welcome 5 or 6 people, assign seat or talk to them, u might look back after service and think aloud.... was it really me that did this? Just given u a life experience..

essenceplus:



You spoke well my brother. Well mannered people are going extinct. You can tell by the comments on this site for example


Given that you but have a pecularity of needs and desire compatibility. Your strong desires can play an advantage here. I'll like to come out plainly to ask you both to give it a try. And who knows.


All I want is an e-picture of a bottle of henessy if things work out.


Best of luck

Richy4:


Actually, U asked three questions.. So which one do i erase?

Anyways...I can't go around announcing my geographical location. it is childish But yes I am outside Nigeria..Some people are commitment phoebes that could be why they are single and does not want to get tied down ...and Yes I am a christian..

Just want to let u know that this is not about me.. It's about the fact that u made it look like staying abroad and being single is a sentence to life everlasting boredom... It is not and based on the value you were talking about you can still have a wonderful life abroad without going to a night club or bar..if that's what you are insinuating...

The Value you were talking about, Have u asked the OP if she has tried to locate people with the same value and conviction as u put it in her locality or location? It's not cool to paint everyone with the same brush.. There are people that are still good and still have that gentlemanly qualities in them..
U made mention that u will be traveling to Nigeria to hunt for a wife, I hope u won't make the same mistake others has been making.. Thinking that home based is better than those abroad..If you don't know who u want to marry and you think u will know her within 3 months period of your holidays, you might be in for a shocker... I don't wanna read your story here on how you went and brought a girl abroad to marry and she changed over night..

Richy4:


Actually, U asked three questions.. So which one do i erase?

Anyways...I can't go around announcing my geographical location. it is childish But yes I am outside Nigeria..Some people are commitment phoebes that could be why they are single and does not want to get tied down ...and Yes I am a christian..

Just want to let u know that this is not about me.. It's about the fact that u made it look like staying abroad and being single is a sentence to life everlasting boredom... It is not and based on the value you were talking about you can still have a wonderful life abroad without going to a night club or bar..if that's what you are insinuating...

The Value you were talking about, Have u asked the OP if she has tried to locate people with the same value and conviction as u put it in her locality or location? It's not cool to paint everyone with the same brush.. There are people that are still good and still have that gentlemanly qualities in them..
U made mention that u will be traveling to Nigeria to hunt for a wife, I hope u won't make the same mistake others has been making.. Thinking that home based is better than those abroad..If you don't know who u want to marry and you think u will know her within 3 months period of your holidays, you might be in for a shocker... I don't wanna read your story here on how you went and brought a girl abroad to marry and she changed over night..

essenceplus:



Plz humor me more. The last paragraph

Richy4:

Acidosis:
Given the level of your desperation to find a man at 25, I don't think you can survive any marriage. Any man reading through your desperation-motivated threads at 24-25, will ultimately take advantage of you. When I say any man, it includes me.
If I marry someone like you, I will take advantage of you, and that's exactly what any man you meet would do.

Delete your Nairaland account (this particular account don cast), work on your esteem seriously, find motivation and satisfaction in other aspects of life, and your man would locate you.

If you're desperate to marry or find a man to marry you at 24, then you're not NORMAL.

calgaryFriend:

bros lets look at it like this, the lady is 25 years. She does not want to clock 30 years and unmarried which is not a bad plan to have.
The issue here is that if at 25years going to 26 years she does not have a man, when will that man come ? If someone has stayed in a place for 2 years and the only person that toasted her is a yahoo boy dont you think there is a problem somewhere ?

Its not about gettting married at 25 years, its about having a healthy relationship or even friendship that could lead to a healthy relationship at that age.

calgaryFriend:

bros lets look at it like this, the lady is 25 years. She does not want to clock 30 years and unmarried which is not a bad plan to have.
The issue here is that if at 25years going to 26 years she does not have a man, when will that man come ? If someone has stayed in a place for 2 years and the only person that toasted her is a yahoo boy dont you think there is a problem somewhere ?

Its not about gettting married at 25 years, its about having a healthy relationship or even friendship that could lead to a healthy relationship at that age.

Straight to the point, I turned 24 two weeks ago and I’m beginning to feel old. I’m beginning to feel less desirable, and feel the need to lie about my age when I meet new guys.

Imogenn:
I am working atm, in a nursing home. I am a graduate But that’s about it.

Acidosis:



I got this in one of her threads



Something is not right

Imogenn:
I wrote this thread last year about a guy that I had met who was into all kinds of rubbish
https://www.nairaland.com/4861952/god-showing-me-signs
Well after deceiving myself and going back and forth with him, I finally said enough is enough. I broke up with him early last month after i went through pictures on his phone through his email, and I saw that he had taken a picture of my bank card details to possibly steal from me. I also saw screenshots of him having friendly conversations with another girl in his church. Although there was nothing to serious in their chats, I just felt it wasn’t appropriate to have friendly conversations like that. So it’s done and it’s over.

Now I recently just turned 25. I feel like I’m getting to that undesirable age and I just feel that I will never find a serious guy. I feel like I’m never going to find someone, I’m so lonely all the time I’m just fed up. I’m that anti social type that hates being in crowds so it’s sooo difficult to meet people. I’m just fed up of everything. I just feel damaged and I feel like I can’t trust anyone and i don’t want to waste my time with unserious men.

I need help.