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sorry but life will get beta

Juliusdaughter:
I believe I belong to the group of African kids that has little or no relationship with their parents. My dad could pass as my grandad and mum is in her 60s even tho am just a little above 25. He was strict while we were growing up and so no bond was formed, mum on the other side is an overly emotional paranoid woman that hardly think positive of a situation. I don't bother talking about my life happenings to her since I know she will go all negative about it. I have Learned to keep my feelings and hurts to myself, I don't keep friends either.
We were probably still toddlers when she started talking about dad in a negative light to us, it's not a big to to her cos she believes she isn't lying about the whole gist, she hasn't stopped doing that too and it's so annoying. I have over the years realized many mothers are guilty of this and it isn't cool. How is it any of our fault that he asked you to abort a pregnancy or denied you a job and so many other; I have equally learned not to keep the negative gist to heart. I sometimes feel they deserve each other. She is the second wife before I forget and she has banned us her kids from ever dreaming of getting married to anyone from my stepmoms town. Every rat and cockroach in the house is her enemy so she pray God to fire them.

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Moms and their wahala

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In all honesty I fail to decipher what this op z saying.

P.s...it wud do me lots of good if anybody can summarize it for me.

First of all you are not alone on such experience. My mum never talked to me about period nor sex education and I was the only girl then. Brace urself and be strong. Life goes on. I do have a issue tho, besides her not accepting this guy, have you really looked into the matter properly? The moment I left my father's house, I did everything opposite. I started buying goat meat cos my mum didn't like it, etc. Be careful to be sure u don't want it just cos she said no. Marriage is not something u enter to spit someone with. Now I have my own daughter, I am doing everything differently cos I know what the opposite looks and feels like. Growing up, I caught myself once or twice thinking what if she isn't my real mum. My daughter is my world and I let her know everyday.

yvelchstores:
First of all you are not alone on such experience. My mum never talked to me about period nor sex education and I was the only girl then. Brace urself and be strong. Life goes on. I do have a issue tho, besides her not accepting this guy, have you really looked into the matter properly? The moment I left my father's house, I did everything opposite. I started buying goat meat cos my mum didn't like it, etc. Be careful to be sure u don't want it just cos she said no. Marriage is not something u enter to spit someone with. Now I have my own daughter, I am doing everything differently cos I know what the opposite looks and feels like. Growing up, I caught myself once or twice thinking what if she isn't my real mum. My daughter is my world and I let her know everyday.

She has never gotten angry with my other siblings and call them names, na only me she dey see and its cos I don't talk, so she intentionally do that to hurt me more.
I am not saying she can't have a say in who I plan to marry but it should be because of more serious issue and not just this. She doesn't even want to get to know him. That's so annoying, neither can I bring home a guy from another tribe. Why does she want me to do?

Juliusdaughter:

She has never gotten angry with my other siblings and call them names, na only me she dey see and its cos I don't talk, so she intentionally do that to hurt me more.
I am not saying she can't have a say in who I plan to marry but it should be because of more serious issue and not just this. She doesn't even want to get to know him. That's so annoying, neither can I bring home a guy from another tribe. Why does she want me to do?

Are you financially secure?
Do you live with your parents?

Get a nice place of your own and secure your bag, whosoever you choose to be with, they will accept at the end when you are independent & don't depend on them for financial stability.
This doesn't mean you'll disrespect them. Generally people/parents/folks just respect you when you are independent.

Success is everyone's friend. Remember that.

Juliusdaughter:

She has never gotten angry with my other siblings and call them names, na only me she dey see and its cos I don't talk, so she intentionally do that to hurt me more.
I am not saying she can't have a say in who I plan to marry but it should be because of more serious issue and not just this. She doesn't even want to get to know him. That's so annoying, neither can I bring home a guy from another tribe. Why does she want me to do?

what is your father's take on this? I think u should focus more on him, doesn't matter how elderly he is, you can rely on his counsel more than her. Men are more rational in their thinking. If he too objects, find out why. I can't say much about ur mum cos na ur mama she be however an irrational person can't be granted sole access to decide for u. Ur father is still alive thank God. Explore that route more. Even if u two are not close at all.

yvelchstores:
what is your father's take on this? I think u should focus more on him, doesn't matter how elderly he is, you can rely on his counsel more than her. Men are more rational in their thinking. If he too objects, find out why. I can't say much about ur mum cos na ur mama she be however an irrational person can't be granted sole access to decide for u. Ur father is still alive thank God. Explore that route more. Even if u two are not close at all.

Men are more rational in their thinking? Interesting.

Juliusdaughter:

She has never gotten angry with my other siblings and call them names, na only me she dey see and its cos I don't talk, so she intentionally do that to hurt me more.
I am not saying she can't have a say in who I plan to marry but it should be because of more serious issue and not just this. She doesn't even want to get to know him. That's so annoying, neither can I bring home a guy from another tribe. Why does she want me to do?

Hmm, well to start with, how old are u?

truthsayer009:


Are you financially secure?
Do you live with your parents?

Get a nice place of your own and secure your bag, whosoever you choose to be with, they will accept at the end when you are independent & don't depend on them for financial stability.
This doesn't mean you'll disrespect them. Generally people/parents/folks just respect you when you are independent.

Success is everyone's friend. Remember that.

The truth is I cannot even try that else the whole family will hear of how a single girl like me wants to start living alone in the same town that my parents own a house.

yvelchstores:
what is your father's take on this? I think u should focus more on him, doesn't matter how elderly he is, you can rely on his counsel more than her. Men are more rational in their thinking. If he too objects, find out why. I can't say much about ur mum cos na ur mama she be however an irrational person can't be granted sole access to decide for u. Ur father is still alive thank God. Explore that route more. Even if u two are not close at all.

Hmm
I wish
I know her, it won't take her time to get into my dad's head and make him work against me too
I guess am by myself now

Juliusdaughter:

The truth is I cannot even try that else the whole family will hear of how a single girl like me wants to start living alone in the same town that my parents own a house.

Get a job and rent a small place close to where you work. If you are asked, tell them its because of proximity. Simple as ABC.

I stand to be corrected but i don't think you are financially secure on your own, if not, you won't give a shit about what they say. They have lived their lives, let them allow you live yours.

Why did you delete the post?

Fear of the future?