₦airaland Forum

BS

wonyi:
In the future please stay off my mention. The message is for the op not u.



I am not ready to engage in name calling or exchange of words .

COCOCANDY STAY OFF MY MENTION IN THE FUTURE

You are going through a tough time. Remember couples that celebrate 20/30/50 years of staying married always have some ugly stories to tell.

Behind every success there's always a dark ugly story.
You can still work things out only if u choose to. No domestic violence yet so things can be sorted out. remember STD is real(so before any sexual contact he must run test and provide a clean result.

One step at a time. Don't take any decision in a hurry. Listen to counsel from old married couples.

I learn from people's stories. I have heard worse stories even with illegitimate children involved yet their marriages stood the test of time.it hurts, yes I know but time will heal you.

cococandy:
Is the husband at fault here?

Yes or No.

So much disgusting BS

Oh shut it.
He has said the OP did not do anything wrong. Did you skip that part of his post?
I'm sure it was an oversight.
The thing is that once someone does not suggest destruction of the marriage like you all are wont to you begin to foam at the mouth.
Reconciliation, resolution, restoration is sacrilegious to you.

At this rate, you'd burst an artery soon .

wonyi:
@ watch this movies war room and why did I get married. You need to be strong to work things out. It's a woman that builds a home. You need to put your home in order.

Look for someone your husband respect like pastor or an elderly uncle or friend. Explain things to them. Remember to remain calm.

Ask yourself, are you tired of the marriage?(I supposed the answer is no)
Do u want your marriage back?(yes)

If the answer is yes, then it's time to work things out. take charge. I believe the exam period is on, after the exam please Strategies.

Try and be focused now. Do things that make u happy. You have sacrificed to build your marriage, and no one can tear your family apart. Pick points from those movies.

Everyone is trying to make their marriage work. It's not easy anywhere. Don't be DECEIVED. Some of us , have gone through worse.look for that inner strength, you are strong and brave. Build courage up.

Keep your job. When responding to your hubby be calm and don't respond harshly. Maybe being mute may help or silent treatment for now. He will get scared because he doesn't know what you are up to.

Remember to dialogue when the atmosphere is calm.communicate and know the reason for his actions. Please and please DONT BEG. you didn't do anything wrong. Once you start begging, you will keep begging. Search yourself, you know yourself. Whatever you are not doing right be get it right.

[b][/b] it's not late yet. Good luck

Great.

I was thinking along those lines but I had to refrain from commenting as the professional home-wreckers had already invaded the thread.

My suggestion would have been for her to keep being the good wife, doing all she would do if her husband were the perfect husband at the same time entreating the Most High with faith that her marriage will be fine.
This is what will happen: the man will come to his senses after a while and the magnitude of his "douchebagness" will dawn on him.
He will realize how gravely he has wronged his wife and kids and will spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to them.

Crazy but it is what it is.

If you’d type the same trash when it’s the wife acting that way. Then you have a leg to stand on. Otherwise take your hypocritical self away.

Talking about bursting an artery, it’s amusing to see you nincompoops bending over backwards and twisting yourselves into unbelievable shapes to find more ways to tell women to accept abuse as a normal thing.

ThothHermes:
Oh shut it.
He has said the OP did not do anything wrong. Did you skip that part of his post?
I'm sure it was an oversight.
The thing is that once someone does not suggest destruction of the marriage like you all are wont to you begin to foam at the mouth.
Reconciliation, resolution, restoration is sacrilegious to you.

At this rate, you'd burst an artery soon .

Mmm hmm.

Be a good wife and get rewarded with HIV.

ThothHermes:
Great.

I was thinking along those lines but I had to refrain from commenting as the professional home-wreckers had already invaded the thread.

My suggestion would have been for her to keep being the good wife, doing all she would do if her husband were the perfect husband at the same time entreating the Most High with faith that her marriage will be fine.
This is what will happen: the man will come to his senses after a while and the magnitude of his "douchebagness" will dawn on him.
He will realize how gravely he has wronged his wife and kids and will spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to them.

Crazy but it is what it is.

Do those illegitimate children come from the wife’s boyfriends?

wonyi:
You are going through a tough time. Remember couples that celebrate 20/30/50 years of staying married always have some ugly stories to tell.

Behind every success there's always a dark ugly story.
You can still work things out only if u choose to. No domestic violence yet so things can be sorted out. remember STD is real(so before any sexual contact he must run test and provide a clean result.

One step at a time. Don't take any decision in a hurry. Listen to counsel from old married couples.

I learn from people's stories. I have heard worse stories even with illegitimate children involved yet their marriages stood the test of time.it hurts, yes I know but time will heal you.

ThothHermes:
Great.

I was thinking along those lines but I had to refrain from commenting as the professional home-wreckers had already invaded the thread.

My suggestion would have been for her to keep being the good wife, doing all she would do if her husband were the perfect husband at the same time entreating the Most High with faith that her marriage will be fine.
This is what will happen: the man will come to his senses after a while and the magnitude of his "douchebagness" will dawn on him.
He will realize how gravely he has wronged his wife and kids and will spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to them.

Crazy but it is what it is.

Beautiful.

cococandy:
If you’d type the same trash when it’s the wife acting that way. Then you have a leg to stand on. Otherwise take your hypocritical self away.

Talking about bursting an artery, it’s amusing to see you nincompoops bending over backwards and twisting yourselves into unbelievable shapes to find more ways to tell women to accept abuse as a normal thing.

Bla bla bla...

You goofed. Admit it.

The guy already said the OP did nothing wrong, meaning all the blame is on the man.
Don't know what you are whinging about.
You are just bitter that he did not suggest divorce. I know you and yours get high from breaking homes.
It's part of being feminist.

"Bitter feminist" -- Tautology

That you think this is about which poster is right or wrong as opposed to what promotes OP’s suffering for misogynistic reasons shows how much sense you have.

ThothHermes:
Bla bla bla...

You goofed. Admit it.

The guy already said the OP did nothing wrong, meaning all the blame is on the man.
Don't know what you are whinging about.
You are just bitter that he did not suggest divorce. I know you and yours get high from breaking homes.
It's part of being feminist.

"Bitter feminist" -- Tautology

cococandy:
That you think this is about which poster is right or wrong as opposed to what promotes OP’s suffering for misogynistic reasons shows how much sense you have.

Arrrggggh...

I know it will never end.

Bye bye abeg.

Take your hypocrisy with you as you go

ThothHermes:
Arrrggggh...

I know it will never end.

Bye bye abeg.

wonyi:
You are going through a tough time. Remember couples that celebrate 20/30/50 years of staying married always have some ugly stories to tell.

Behind every success there's always a dark ugly story.
You can still work things out only if u choose to. No domestic violence yet so things can be sorted out. remember STD is real(so before any sexual contact he must run test and provide a clean result.

One step at a time. Don't take any decision in a hurry. Listen to counsel from old married couples.

I learn from people's stories. I have heard worse stories even with illegitimate children involved yet their marriages stood the test of time.it hurts, yes I know but time will heal you.

you are in hell, not marriage. The fact that you are married does not mean your marriage is successful. 20, 30, 50 years of marriage does not mean the marriage is successful.
A successful marriage is when both parties are happy together.

Please if marriage is war room and hell for you, it shouldn't be the same for others. Marriage is not war or punishment for women. A woman should enjoy her marriage just as her hubby does. non is a slave to another in marriage.

Redrosely:
Been through a bumpy marriage of 6yrs,my hubby is a chronic cheat and this attitude of his has affected me negatively. Just recently, received a call from an unknown number begging me to ask my hubby to leave the said callers fiancee. Wen I called my hubby to confirm all what d caller said, he picked offense and stopped taking my calls completely. Later he started taking the calls bt refusing to say a word all through,he will just allow my airtym to keep wasting. Had to ask d caller how he got my number,n he claims he took it from his fiancees phone, where he said my hubby sent my number to his side chick to blacklist it. I went ahead to ask d caller 4evidence n he sent me pix. Forwarded d pix to my hubby,bt he didn't give any comment nor explaination what so ever. Note that I and hubby leaves apart due to the nature of his work.

it is so sad what you are going through. It is highly unlikely that a chronic cheat will change. Either accept it like that, stay in the marriage or you leave, it is your decision.

However, i hope you have a job or business to keep you busy, you should invest in ways that make you happy and also please protect yourself from STD's that you hubby may bring to you.

And don't listen to people who say it is because of long distance, i would expect that you both have plans to live together eventually BUT long distance or face-face, a CHEAT IS A CHEAT!

Avidtags:
you are in hell, not marriage. The fact that you are married does not mean your marriage is successful. 20, 30, 50 years of marriage does not mean the marriage is successful.
A successful marriage is when both parties are happy together.

Please if marriage is war room and hell for you, it shouldn't be the same for others. Marriage is not war or punishment for women. A woman should enjoy her marriage just as her hubby does. non is a slave to another in marriage.

Please stay off my mention.please and please.i beg u.

I usually don't exchange words or fight on social media. I make my points without insults.


The message isn't for u. Learn to choose your battles correctly. Learn it will help you

wonyi:
@ watch this movies war room and why did I get married. You need to be strong to work things out. It's a woman that builds a home. You need to put your home in order.

Look for someone your husband respect like pastor or an elderly uncle or friend. Explain things to them. Remember to remain calm.

Ask yourself, are you tired of the marriage?(I supposed the answer is no)
Do u want your marriage back?(yes)

If the answer is yes, then it's time to work things out. take charge. I believe the exam period is on, after the exam please Strategies.

Try and be focused now. Do things that make u happy. You have sacrificed to build your marriage, and no one can tear your family apart. Pick points from those movies.

Everyone is trying to make their marriage work. It's not easy anywhere. Don't be DECEIVED. Some of us , have gone through worse.look for that inner strength, you are strong and brave. Build courage up.

Keep your job. When responding to your hubby be calm and don't respond harshly. Maybe being mute may help or silent treatment for now. He will get scared because he doesn't know what you are up to.

Remember to dialogue when the atmosphere is calm.communicate and know the reason for his actions. Please and please DONT BEG. you didn't do anything wrong. Once you start begging, you will keep begging. Search yourself, you know yourself. Whatever you are not doing right be get it right.

[b][/b] it's not late yet. Good luck

Wtf!!! You're irritating, the husband shows no remorse cos he is cheating, advise on that please.

wonyi:
You are going through a tough time. Remember couples that celebrate 20/30/50 years of staying married always have some ugly stories to tell.

Behind every success there's always a dark ugly story.
You can still work things out only if u choose to. No domestic violence yet so things can be sorted out. remember STD is real(so before any sexual contact he must run test and provide a clean result.

One step at a time. Don't take any decision in a hurry. Listen to counsel from old married couples.

I learn from people's stories. I have heard worse stories even with illegitimate children involved yet their marriages stood the test of time.it hurts, yes I know but time will heal you.

You reek of irritation, the world, especially women, has moved on from enduring bullshiit, especially someone who has no remorse, what am I reading this night? Wtf!!! Marriage is not a fvcking do or die something, where do people like this come out from

ThothHermes:
Great.

I was thinking along those lines but I had to refrain from commenting as the professional home-wreckers had already invaded the thread.

My suggestion would have been for her to keep being the good wife, doing all she would do if her husband were the perfect husband at the same time entreating the Most High with faith that her marriage will be fine.
This is what will happen: the man will come to his senses after a while and the magnitude of his "douchebagness" will dawn on him.
He will realize how gravely he has wronged his wife and kids and will spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to them.

Crazy but it is what it is.

You see this your words, would you repeat it if it was the wife cheating without remorse and the husband remains dutiful and caring?

Fountainofyouth:
Wtf!!! You're irritating, the husband shows no remorse cos he is cheating, advise on that please.

Please stay off my mention. Please

Fountainofyouth:
You reek of irritation, the world, especially women, has moved on from enduring bullshiit, especially someone who has no remorse, what am I reading this night? Wtf!!! Marriage is not a fvcking do or die something, where do people like it's come out from

I choose my words carefully. I don't speak loosely. We must not think alike. Please stay off my mention.please

Fountainofyouth:
You see this your words, would you repeat it if it was the wife cheating without remorse and the husband remains dutiful and caring?

By our respective natures, a man would not tolerate a woman that is cheating brazenly if he is faithful and dutiful.

I have tried to imagine it and it's not just possible in my head. It will take the most enraged feminist to dream up something so implausible.

It's not society. It's nature. You want to advice divorce? Go ahead.
Wetin concern me? As if divorce is one El Dorado like that.
This is a fixable problem. If you don't want to try to fix it., wahala tiyin niyen

Fountainofyouth:
You reek of irritation, the world, especially women, has moved on from enduring bullshiit, especially someone who has no remorse, what am I reading this night? Wtf!!! Marriage is not a fvcking do or die something, where do people like it's come out from

I'm sure you are not married

ThothHermes:
By our respective natures, a man would not tolerate a woman that is cheating brazenly if he is faithful and dutiful.

I have tried to imagine it and it's not just possible in my head. It will take the most enraged feminist to dream up something so implausible.

It's not society. It's nature. You want to advice divorce? Go ahead.
Wetin concern me? As if divorce is one El Dorado like that.
This is a fixable problem. If you don't want to try to fix it., wahala tiyin niyen

Why are you asking someone else to accept behavior that you are unwilling to accept?
Is it because she has a vagina that you are asking her to live with the same hurt that you have rejected for yourself?
If you cannot imagine it for yourself why are you able to imagine it for a woman?
If it is a fixable problem why won’t you be fixing your own marriage if the problem is coming from the woman?
I really want to know empathy (putting yourself in someone else’s shoes) is not applied if the person hurting in a marriage is a woman.

ThothHermes:
By our respective natures, a man would not tolerate a woman that is cheating brazenly if he is faithful and dutiful.

I have tried to imagine it and it's not just possible in my head. It will take the most enraged feminist to dream up something so implausible.

It's not society. It's nature. You want to advice divorce? Go ahead.
Wetin concern me? As if divorce is one El Dorado like that.
This is a fixable problem. If you don't want to try to fix it., wahala tiyin niyen

Divorce is not a death sentence Oga, marriage is not a do or die something. How many years are we spending on this earth that one will spend the little time in sadness and perpetual gloom? God forbid!!!

Will God even ask for marriage certificate when we all die? The way some people directly/indirectly encourage women to stay in unhappy marriages is mind boggling.

Wow...funny how some people are making a case for OP's husband by advising her to continue to accept his slights. It is well. Courtship is absolutely important. It is the test run marriage. It is the time to thoroughly observe the other party. Any man/woman selfish with an entitled countenance will turn out to be a bad partner...those who would maltreat you and expect you to swallow it. How could one claim to love another yet hurt him/her without a care in the world? Whew! In fact, the saddest moment is hearing these miscreants attempt to argue their ways out of the situations... Painful to watch a stuudippd fellow look him/herself in the mirror and perceive the opposite.

Imagine! Lord...please be kind to the world by matching people according to their intellectual capacities and traits. It is well.

OP, I feel you Darling, I feel you. I swearit, my annoyances isn't as much with the cheating but the lack of remorse and outright disrespect that followed. Please gather yourself and youth together...the day is still just as young for you too! Pele.

It’s not nature. It’s your hypocrisy. You can’t imagine it but you can advice it when a woman is on the receiving end. Makes so much sense. Not.

Oh and Anyone who calls you out then is bitter but when you’re giving bullshit advice, tour don’t consider yourself bitter. If it would take an enraged feminist to think of such, what does that make you?

Keep shooting your self in the foot.

OP if I were you, I’d learn from the sexist and misogynistic comments on your page. Many men think alike in terms of this. They would rather die than share their wives but they think they are too good for to stay with just you.

It’s left for you to decide if you’re not good enough to require faithfulness from someone who requires same of you.

ThothHermes:
By our respective natures, a man would not tolerate a woman that is cheating brazenly if he is faithful and dutiful.

I have tried to imagine it and it's not just possible in my head. It will take the most enraged feminist to dream up something so implausible .

It's not society. It's nature. You want to advice divorce? Go ahead.
Wetin concern me? As if divorce is one El Dorado like that.
This is a fixable problem. If you don't want to try to fix it., wahala tiyin niyen

Indeed

wonyi:
I choose my words carefully. I don't speak loosely. We must not think alike. Please stay off my mention.please

It shows the type of selfishness, self centered mindset and insurmountable ego that goes into such behaviors. Then they project it into the world and try to shame those who won’t accept by calling them bitter.

elektra:
Why are you asking someone else to accept behavior that you are unwilling to accept?
Is it because she has a vagina that you are asking her to live with the same hurt that you have rejected for yourself?
If you cannot imagine it for yourself why are you able to imagine it for a woman?
If it is a fixable problem why won’t you be fixing your own marriage if the problem is coming from the woman?
I really want to know empathy (putting yourself in someone else’s shoes) is not applied if the person hurting in a marriage is a woman.

Redrosely:
It's been 6days now after d discovery,not a word from hubby nor any explanation. Out of frustration, I confided in my mum,she couldn't believe her ears or my story,bt insisted to hear from her inlaw her self.Bt to our amazement,hubby also refused to pick my mum's call till date. I'm so pissed and angry right now, can't concentrate on my work nor my kids anymore. My family is insisting I come back home with my kids after the take their exams in school,as in during the long vacation until he decides to speak up. I'm so depressed, completely lost my appetite. I have completely deleted his numbers from my phone so as to stop my self from calling persistently n making a fool of myself, though I know I can't erase his numbers from my head.I actually stopped calling him yesterday n by 8pm he called twice bt I didn't pick up. As early as 6am he called again n I didn't pick up too. He has refused to come home and I have decided to let him be.
Note he is sponsoring his side chic in school,rented an apartment for her n takes care of her expenses. While he comes home after a period of 6-8months and leaves after 4days of staying with us saying work demands his attention over there. I am sex starved,my last baby doesn't know his Dad too well, infact he practically runs from him. I am broken beyond words, don't know my offense. Jst lost in thoughts

Hello madam, how are you today. I know it isn't easy for you, but I pray you find peace all round.

I admonish you to be first of patient, second, PRAYERFUL. Sorry I am sounding spiritual right now. For your husband to be comfortable, outside your home for months, even though you reside in same country tells alot.
Your home is under an attack. You have to pray against every strange women( note women, because they might be more than one) holding unto your husband's heart.

Please do not fight him for any reason. If eventually you guys will have sex, please use protection. You will fight through. Protect your sanity and that of your children, and please do everything to make sure you don't lose your job.

Bless you.

Redrosely:
Update,abt to be relieved of my duty at my work place. Cried my eyes out yesterday at d office,cos of this issue, and thus,cudnt face the kids with my swollen face as I'm a teacher, decided to go somewhere out of the school to cool off and put myself together. Only to be summoned today to a panel at my directors office to explain my disappearance without permission. Was told that a feedback will be given to me at closure bof school.
Soo many things happening at a time. Hmmmmmm

Sorry for all this problems but next time don't act that way or you will lose your job. Life happens, put yourself together, be strong. You should be praying instead of these gallons of tears. If your husband knows about the emotional torment he's putting you through he might make you suffer more. Focus on your job and kids

sisisioge:
Wow...funny how some people are making a case for OP's husband by advising her to continue to accept his slights. It is well. Courtship is absolutely important. It is the test run marriage. It is the time to thoroughly observe the other party. Any man/woman selfish with an entitled countenance will turn out to be a bad partner...those who would maltreat you and expect you to swallow it. How could one claim to love another yet hurt him/her without a care in the world? Whew! In fact, the saddest moment is hearing these miscreants attempt to argue their ways out of the situations... Painful to watch a stuudippd fellow look him/herself in the mirror and perceive the opposite.

Imagine! Lord...please be kind to the world by matching people according to their intellectual capacities and traits. It is well.

OP, I feel you Darling, I feel you. I swearit, my annoyances isn't as much with the cheating but the lack of remorse and outright disrespect that followed. Please gather yourself and youth together...the day is still just as young for you too! Pele.

Tnx dear,ur last paragraph says it all. It's not the cheating aspect thats my headache,bt d attitude he's putting up after it all. Though he's been calling ever since bt I haven't taken his calls since on Tuesday. I really don't av anything to say to him as it stands again. I waited patiently for his explanation after the whole drama,bt he was acting up. Why then has he been calling and sending texts msgs, pleading with God's name.

Redrosely:
Tnx dear,ur last paragraph says it all. It's not the cheating aspect thats my headache,bt d attitude he's putting up after it all. Though he's been calling ever since bt I haven't taken his calls since on Tuesday. I really don't av anything to say to him as it stands again. I waited patiently for his explanation after the whole drama,bt he was acting up. Why then has he been calling and sending texts msgs, pleading with God's name.

Good one. You are becoming stronger. Please, don't pick his call. As day passes by and you didn't pick his call, it will get to a point where you will get very stronger not to see the need of ever picking his call again or not picking his call for a very long time till you finally decide on the final route of your marriage. Please, try to see how you can have fun as well like taking yourself and the kids out to have nice time even if it's little resources you have for this. Just manage and see how you can have fun as well. Wish you well.