₦airaland Forum

egojeny1:
It has finally hit front page, good one mods.

These in-laws go hear am

The first step to take is to get a lawyer write a petition for murder to d commissioner of police alleging murder against ur sister's in-law who gave d late husband objection that killed him. But in truth, the remains will b exhumped and autopsy conducted to ascertain d cause of death. But the real deal is dt d sister in-law will b in custody while all this process last. Use same as a negotiations tool to get ur daughter.

Haa! Tradition dey ooo.

Well, I pray she gets her baby.

Sterope:
A child belongs to his parents. It took two people to birth a child. In the absence of the father, the father's family has no right to take over the child unless the mother wishes or is incapable of taking of the child. If she likes, let her marry a million times. It is her child. That child is a relative to everyone else.

Thank you.

how many men have prepared a will to ensure their wife and kids are protected from their extended family

A lot of African traditions treat widows as chattel. A lot of families will show colour in instances like these. Even in cases of the living, families have seized children. Three years ago davidos family attempted to steal his daughter from his baby mama. If she did not have an influential uncle, they would have gotten away with it.


all those alpha male wankers out there - this is why women need empowerment; if you leave this world, your wife and kids will most of the time be at the mercy of your extended family. make no mistake, if she does not get that child back, the child will be a second class human being in whatever extended family household she grows up in. the extended family do not care about the child in the slightest

Which kain wickedness be this...

The sister that gave that injection should be in jail by now.

.

File a case of premeditated murder of your husband by the younger sister and see the response. Thank me later

AnthonyAk:
Chei see fine family broken , what do they intend to do with the baby?

didn't you read? they want to use her to attract sympathy and then beg for money from her fathers friends.

The act of seizing and forcibly taken custody of your only child is babaric and unfair, kindly file a petition with commissioner of Police, copy the petition to IGP, ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE STATE where you reside. Contact FIDA, NGOs, and if possible contact the Office of Public Defender, OPD of your state. Let your lawyer also escalate the issue on Social Media.

meobizy:
She has an Esan last name so I suspect she is either from the tribe or married into it.
This case go long as it is tradition there for the groom’s family to take a first child of their deceased son.
I don’t think the tradition is restricted to only them because I’ve heard of Igbos seizing an offspring from their deceased child’s union.
She should head to the court because I’m surprised in this day and age things of this sort still happen.
Another hope she can give herself is the child coming back to her in the next 16 - 18 years.

Which part of Igbo land does that

Thank God your head rejected the injection. As for the custody, get well first, then contact DPP for help for the custody of your daughter. Also Call 92.3 fm tell them your story. That evil sister need to be in jail for the that injection. May the angels of healing visit you

djon78:
Its different. Because the child belongs to the man. He paid the bride price. So its his offspring. But as long as woman is not married to another man, she can keep the baby or children, but once she remarries the children becomes the mans peoples own.
I know a friend of mine it happened to his brother. The guy died when his wife was 7 months pregnant. The guys family continued taking care of her and the child, but a rich man saw the girl and wanted to marry her, but she wanted to go with her son. The family talked and explained everything to the rich man, and the man gave the girl ultimatum to chose between being his wife OE following her son. Of course she choose marriage. Today that child is a teenager, very well cared for by the mans family,

Lols. Can you see the madness blacks demonstrate all in the name of tradition.

'it's his offspring'
'the man's people's own'

What sort of toxic patriarchy attempts to belittle the contribution of a female to the 'making' of a child. When in reality a biological argument can be made (and won) that the woman contributes more to the genotypic and eventual phenotypic characterization of that child.

Except we're talking about slave trade, no one owns anybody.

The child by virtue of being a child is biologically and socially dependent on the parents. If one parent is unavailable then the responsibility of raising the child is exclusively transferred to the single parent and any other party he or she deems to contribute in that endeavour, except of course, the single parent is proven to be incapable of shouldering that responsibility.

AuroraB:
Which part of Igbo land does that

I can’t make a guess because I never asked.

SyNnadi:
Update: Battle For Child Custody For A Deceased Friend

Earlier thread here https://www.nairaland.com/5293255/battle-child-custody-deceased-friend

On the 15th of DEC 2018 I and my husband was involved in a motor car accident along kwale asaba road that left us with fractures ( I broke both of my tights a d my right arm while he broke just a thigh) .admitted at a hospital at kwale n discharged to go to benin to receive treatment from a traditional bone healer two days later he passed on after an injection was administered to him by his younger sister joy akhator Lawrence ( the injection was prepared for both of us but he was administered first). He was immediately rushed to a near by medical center where it was ascertained that he died because of the high dosage of d injection she(joy akhator Lawrence) said was a pain killer. His death by this time was not made known to me till few weeks later when I received a call from my landlord in Lagos saying she's sorry for my loss and that my sister in-law(loveth akhator) called her to tell her of the ordeal and also requested that access been given to her(loveth akhator) to pack my belongings in the apartment since my husband ( Emmanuel akhator) his brother was late. That she wanted to know weather its with my consent. That was where d battle started officially......
They never paid any visits to me or asked after my well being or asked how we r going about the surgeries I had to later go through ( because it got to a point I could no longer take the pains when the traditional bone man was treating me). Instead they went straight to my husband's office in sapele delta state to inform them of his demise and further demanded for what was due to him from the company. They even went on telling his friends and colleagues that am perfectly fine when they ask of my wellbeing not until d day of his funeral (January 12th,2019) when I was not seen on the ground. Then they stated asking many questions till they finally were able to get someone (a friend of mine) that showed them the hospital I was admitted Into......
MeanWhile they have been getting financial support from his office n friends without my knowledge.......

On getting to the hospital his colleagues were shocked at the condition they found me it was then they now told me of the statement made by my in-laws stating I was fine...... That it was my absence at d funeral ground them insisted on seeing me.....

All efforts for his friends to meet with me were thwarted by my in-laws since they were the ones they always go through
.....d night before the funeral my siblings had called me from home ( I was still in the hospital) that my late husband's elder brother (Osazee akhator) and some of their relatives came to our hose to demand for my baby (Success Osose akhator) but they said its late that she will b present in the morning for the funeral but my inlaws said no that they must take her that night and was threatening to drop the corpse of my late husband in my fathers compound. After all the shoits here and there from both families they left that night without my baby...on the funeral day, right from the mortuary that was wen the fight for baby success started till date. According to witnesses around. Success was forcefully taken from my siblings and that was d end.....

Few weeks later I demanded to see my baby at the hospital and asked my younger sister to help me go to my in-laws house (which was not far from the hospital I was) to help bring her for me to at less see but she came back saying the elder sister (loveth akhator) told her that I don't have business with success that success is now their property

Several meetings have been held by both families in their house but it all proved abortive

They became more angry wen they found out that my husband had no entitlement from his company after calling d company 3months after his burial........ Since he wasn't up to a year yet he was not added to d company's policy........ This I think made them hold on to my baby from the beginning thinking she was his next of kin�

They demanded all sort of things and called me all sorts of names . went as far as tarnishing my image n levying all sort of false allegation on me..

With all these I wasn't moved so they decided to permanently hold on to my child .

Those that later showed interest in the case asked them y they haven't returned my 2 year old baby yet to me, they started telling them that they are holding her pending when I fully recovers so as to trick them n make dem back off

My baby they have been using to get financial support from his friends.

Follow up on Twitter via her handle @vera_ogbebor

https://mobile.twitter.com/vera_ogbebor/status/1151126290591866880

Well I do not know the history of your marriage with your husband. I do not know how you both started and if there was consent by his family. The story is not clear enough. You were not aware that your husband was getting buried. And yet again the child was taken away for the burial and it sounded like you were aware of that.

Whatever it is I think our society should begin to grow beyond this issue of the properties and benefits of a deceased person. Those who suffer the consequences are they wives and children of the deceased. The greedy and lazy family members grab what they get to take care of their own wives and children.

There are things that you can do.
1. Get the police into it. If the policemen seem to play games, get the higher police authorities

2. Get a lawyer involved

3. There are women civil society organisations that handle such matters. For most of them it is free.

With these not a penny goes to the greedy pigs and even if the grabbed anything forcefully they are made to return them.

How does that change that the fact that the father's family didn't give birth to the child? Surname is bullshit because it is a norm doesn't mean you get to take a child away from his mother.

neyobills:
I don't get this your logic sorry the surname of the child is of the fathers so the kid definitely belong to the fathers family in my opinion

SyNnadi:
Update: Battle For Child Custody For A Deceased Friend

Earlier thread here https://www.nairaland.com/5293255/battle-child-custody-deceased-friend

On the 15th of DEC 2018 I and my husband was involved in a motor car accident along kwale asaba road that left us with fractures ( I broke both of my tights a d my right arm while he broke just a thigh) .admitted at a hospital at kwale n discharged to go to benin to receive treatment from a traditional bone healer two days later he passed on after an injection was administered to him by his younger sister joy akhator Lawrence ( the injection was prepared for both of us but he was administered first). He was immediately rushed to a near by medical center where it was ascertained that he died because of the high dosage of d injection she(joy akhator Lawrence) said was a pain killer. His death by this time was not made known to me till few weeks later when I received a call from my landlord in Lagos saying she's sorry for my loss and that my sister in-law(loveth akhator) called her to tell her of the ordeal and also requested that access been given to her(loveth akhator) to pack my belongings in the apartment since my husband ( Emmanuel akhator) his brother was late. That she wanted to know weather its with my consent. That was where d battle started officially......
They never paid any visits to me or asked after my well being or asked how we r going about the surgeries I had to later go through ( because it got to a point I could no longer take the pains when the traditional bone man was treating me). Instead they went straight to my husband's office in sapele delta state to inform them of his demise and further demanded for what was due to him from the company. They even went on telling his friends and colleagues that am perfectly fine when they ask of my wellbeing not until d day of his funeral (January 12th,2019) when I was not seen on the ground. Then they stated asking many questions till they finally were able to get someone (a friend of mine) that showed them the hospital I was admitted Into......
MeanWhile they have been getting financial support from his office n friends without my knowledge.......

On getting to the hospital his colleagues were shocked at the condition they found me it was then they now told me of the statement made by my in-laws stating I was fine...... That it was my absence at d funeral ground them insisted on seeing me.....

All efforts for his friends to meet with me were thwarted by my in-laws since they were the ones they always go through
.....d night before the funeral my siblings had called me from home ( I was still in the hospital) that my late husband's elder brother (Osazee akhator) and some of their relatives came to our hose to demand for my baby (Success Osose akhator) but they said its late that she will b present in the morning for the funeral but my inlaws said no that they must take her that night and was threatening to drop the corpse of my late husband in my fathers compound. After all the shoits here and there from both families they left that night without my baby...on the funeral day, right from the mortuary that was wen the fight for baby success started till date. According to witnesses around. Success was forcefully taken from my siblings and that was d end.....

Few weeks later I demanded to see my baby at the hospital and asked my younger sister to help me go to my in-laws house (which was not far from the hospital I was) to help bring her for me to at less see but she came back saying the elder sister (loveth akhator) told her that I don't have business with success that success is now their property

Several meetings have been held by both families in their house but it all proved abortive

They became more angry wen they found out that my husband had no entitlement from his company after calling d company 3months after his burial........ Since he wasn't up to a year yet he was not added to d company's policy........ This I think made them hold on to my baby from the beginning thinking she was his next of kin�

They demanded all sort of things and called me all sorts of names . went as far as tarnishing my image n levying all sort of false allegation on me..

With all these I wasn't moved so they decided to permanently hold on to my child .

Those that later showed interest in the case asked them y they haven't returned my 2 year old baby yet to me, they started telling them that they are holding her pending when I fully recovers so as to trick them n make dem back off

My baby they have been using to get financial support from his friends.

Follow up on Twitter via her handle @vera_ogbebor

https://mobile.twitter.com/vera_ogbebor/status/1151126290591866880

This is a criminal case. In the first instance the woman that gave the over dose should be charged for murder, those that are holding your baby should be charged for kidnap. Let them reap the evil fruit, they sowed for you.

Wicked and devilish in-laws. I wish I know their community so that I can blacklist them for life.

Get a human rights lawyer.

Modified: Their community is Benin in Edo State.

I couldn't ignore his ass. This is really scary, I feel bad for those women out there.

pocohantas:
I just decided to ignore him. The kind of men I avoid...

Report the quack nurse to the police, pending when you will be able to prosecute the matter, also report the illegal adoption your daughter to the police, your little baby, is your own, there is nothing like in-laws child custody in any constitution in Nigeria or anywhere in the world. You have a good case, the best way to fight this your enemies is to attack them with all legal angles like: (1) murder of your husband. (the traditional bone healer is a witness) (2) illegal adoption of your child.(3)Attempted stealing of your properties (your landlord is a witness.) The murder weapon is needle. And the murder motive is stealing of properties and Illegal child custody.
Call in the press, call in Human rights organizations. Just do something as long as you breathe. I wished you quick recovery and success in the litigation.

Firebrand1:
op plz back off from this matter, so dat u will not be hit n d crossfire, d akhator family are still grieving over the death of their son. I am privy to some of d grievances the late husband family has against d wife. op plz don't try to paint the man's family bad becos of ur selfish interest. Wen u read those rhetorics of a tribute at d funeral we all tot u were a good friend, never knew u were just a snitch. Adviser Nowamangbe back off plz

This was what one mofo nairalander posted in the last thread. Let him come out now and talk trash again.

mamatwiny:
I will advise the women to get well first b4 fighting for custody.
It is a simple case. Just walk into any FIDA office close you. They are women lawyers that fight for the oppressed women for free.

On another note, I will everybody on this thread to support FIDA financially. Those women fight for noble cause.

For the single, check the family of the spouse you I tend to settle down with as it is very important when the chips are down.

FIDA kee u dia! Those lazy ass lawyer that don't know their left from their right!

ednut1:
Please take this off social media abeg. What if they harm your child

I pray they are that stupid and we are that lucky was what Leonidas told his soldiers when he was summoned by the god king.

Yankee101:
Please have a will

African people in most places (even in the US)don't have wills.

It will stop most of this wahal.

ornicus:
how many men have prepared a will to ensure their wife and kids are protected from their extended family

all those alpha male wankers out there - this is why women need empowerment; if you leave this world, your wife and kids will most of the time be at the mercy of your extended family. make no mistake, if she does not get that child back, the child will be a second class human being in whatever extended family household she grows up in. the extended family do not care about the child in the slightest

MrBrownJay1:
How can in-laws or any fukcing laws stop a mother from seeing her own child.... What bloody right do they think they have?!
That's when you understand why so many people unnecessarily lose their lives in Nigeria. Imagine the insult! The child that you carried 9 months, nurtured and cared for a couple of years, then suddenly some deluded person would say you cant see that child. In my world that's a death wish!

As someone earlier said..have a damn WILL people.

Nigga, that union would be less than 2 years old!!! Who in his right senses thinks of a will that early? I can bet none of you shouting "will" here even have one. If you do, I bet it was not in your first 4 years of marriage! Don't be silly.

Do you have a will?!

The man's family are going about this the wrong way! They should not have neglected the mother! Most African traditions (if not all) usually take a new bride as a "sister" in the man's family not someone to be ostracized when the going gets tough.

Also, why is nobody talking about Vera's family?! Could it be that her family members also neglected the man while he was alive hence his family are returning the favour? What role have they played so far since they heard of the accident? There is a lot to what has happened so far only the judge can decide.

Sarah20A:
Please post this on Facebook and Twitter where more eyes will see it. The right people will easily see and help you there.I am from Benin I have never held or seen where the late husband family will kidnap their late brother"s child.this is a case of kidnapping and murder

Its easy for you to defend your people. Edo people are hooligans. Their ladies are Italians.

nkemdi89:
Register a case of kidnapping on your child, murder of your husband, and threat to life and attempted murder on your own life , go to any police command closer to where they reside.

People keep mentioning police as if you don't know that police are looking for the highest bidder.

Human rights lawyers are better here.

Thank you for bringing it to the front page. It will finally get required attention.

Sterope:
A child belongs to his parents. It took two people to birth a child. In the absence of the father, the father's family has no right to take over the child unless the mother wishes or is incapable of taking of the child. If she likes, let her marry a million times. It is her child. That child is a relative to everyone else.

All manner of people will comment. Even those that think they have an opinion.

This is pure wickedness.. Madam you need a goof lawyer

safarigirl:
Igbos rarely seize kids, who wan feed the pikin? They can insist the mother stays closeby, except she wants to remarry, then she is expected to return the child to their father's people.

This baby is too young to be separated from her mother

Wrong! while the igbo/igboid speaking speaking people of Nigeria have a language that is intelligible, they do not practice tradition as a monolith, meaning there are different different traditions among the different igbo/igboic speaking people. For example the Becheve people in the hills of crossriver state is an igbo community with an igbo king in cross river state, they are into Bride buying and selling till this very moment. And I'm very certain that while that tradition is alien to most other igbo tribe, it does not take away the fact the community is an igbo community.

So technically saying that igbo people perform a certain tradition is right and wrong, because when it comes to tradition the word igbo becomes a complex term, it's usually better to state the clan. This is the basis of contention about whether a clan is igbo or not in many communities outside the SE, people argue with this context forgetting that what makes your clan igbo should be whether or not igbo/igboic language is spoken natively in your community and whether or not that language can be understood on a basic level by other igbo clans without translation, because in general speaking, when it come it comes to tradition, the igbo people are very diverse, it's almost like saying nigerian people practice a tradition.

At the OP go to the police and then lawyer up, although I understand that money might be an issue, put up your acc number here, next to the story and give updates, I'm sure nairalanders would be willing to help

MrBrownJay1:
Are you for real?! So you believe that the mother is no more entitled to be the mother/guardian of that child, right?! Now that child belong to fathers family?

She remains the mother and nothing can change it. The child also belongs to the father's family and nothing can change it.

Naturally she has more right over the child than any human being on earth, but this is were traditional values come in. I believe it is one of such that the husband's family is riding on to take custody of the child.

Like I said earlier the father's family were wrong to have neglected Vera and even lie about her state of health.

ornicus:
how many men have prepared a will to ensure their wife and kids are protected from their extended family

all those alpha male wankers out there - this is why women need empowerment; if you leave this world, your wife and kids will most of the time be at the mercy of your extended family. make no mistake, if she does not get that child back, the child will be a second class human being in whatever extended family household she grows up in. the extended family do not care about the child in the slightest

Wrong. Very wrong. Maybe in your village the extended family do not care about the child of a deceased son.

deltateam:
People keep mentioning police as if you don't know that police are looking for the highest bidder.

Human rights lawyers are better here.

Don't mind the buffoon! Police is your worst bet!! Vera and her family should get a lawyer!!!