nairalandposter:
The op made ONE POST (ONE POST!) and ran away to sit back and watch idiots fall over themselves advising him or her on fake stories and situations they are not experiencing.

This site should be shut down because the kind of people it's breeding, would soon be classified as danger zones.

Possibly the op is even "advising" him or herself under another moniker, so easily manipulated idiots could say somebody told them what to do.

Bestinstinct:
I feel for you bro. Just like you've been advised, do a secret DNA and DO NOT plan traveling with her for now. What I can deduce from your write up is a situation where a woman is regrettably married and battling with reality. Be calm....you will be fine Las las

GrabHisBalls:
I didn't even speak my mind and you're complaining. Was I supposed to lick his ass?

genq:
I will keep preaching that every man must #MGTOW.

Most Nigerian women just like OP's wife have the following characteristics:

1. She doesn't work - she's being housed for free by a beta simp husband (who also pays all the Bills + her personal expenses).


4. She brings absolutely nothing to the table.

5. Has a culture of "give me" she will demand your time, money and attention. She will not only take away your finances but your self-worth too and gives nothing in return.

madridguy:
Guess you're once in same shoe with the op first gf that he dropped for age issue

DrBrainstorm:

Wetin na bros na Diety she be?

GrabHisBalls:
I don't get dumped, I do the dumping.

Tocynone:
I understand you better. Although my marriage is just 7years+.
My advice
1. Take a leave from work
2. Swallow your pride (men)
3. Stay indoor with your wife 3days all through
4. Tell her your fears of loosing her
5. Eat and Pray together (Master key)
6. Learn to cuddle and appreciate her beauty
7. Secretly do a DNA
8. If all these are not working, then BE A MAN AND FACE YOUR FEARS.

My 10cents though

Kenfil:
Lemme give you this advice as a married woman and one that knows how the US is.
1) Talk with this ur wife. Try sending some quality time with her so u two could try hashing things out.
2) I would suggest secretly doing a DNA since that pregnancy was prior to ur wedding. U r never sure
3) If that lady continues with the bashing and demeaning attitude, please dont take her along to the US for now. If your Visa works, travel and hustle first for some time. Provide for the family, visit home, re evaluate her and then decide when to file for her ie if that child is urs. Spousal Visa doesn't take long. I wish u all d best.

DONT EVER PAY HER EVIL WITH EVIL.

Donald3d:

LordKO:



Conceitedness is God's gift to small-minded people like you and your ilk. I mean, it smacks of mental parochialism for you to continually dismiss and deride others or cast aspersions on them, either directly or indirectly, just because they do not share same myopic thoughts like you. In fact, any sane person who reads through that your first post will see that you based your wack submission on assumption - assumption remains the mother of all nonsense. Sane people make contributions based on fact available, not assumption.

Next time avoid deriding others all the name of trying to appear wiser and civil than them. Who conferred you title of the wisest and most civil person alive?

The OP's wife isn't a deity, as someone stated, and deserves no worship. Self-esteem and politeness beget respect, and respect is reciprocal. People should stop enabling nonsense under any guise.

Stop being conceited.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Regrettably married?

LordKO:



Conceitedness is God's gift to small-minded people like you and your ilk. I mean, it smacks of mental parochialism for you to continually dismiss and deride others, or cast aspersions on them, either directly or indirectly, just because they do not share same myopic thoughts like you. In fact, any sane person who reads through that your first post will see that you based your wack submission on assumption - assumption remains the mother of all nonsense. Sane people make contributions based on fact available, not assumption.

Next time avoid deriding others all in the name of trying to appear wiser and more civil than them. Who conferred you title of the wisest and most civil person alive?

The OP's wife isn't a deity, as someone stated, and deserves no worship. Self-esteem and politeness beget respect, and respect is reciprocal. People should stop enabling nonsense under any guise.

Stop being conceited.

genq:



Thank you!

Donald3d is so effeminate to me. Spilling trash to appease women on this site I doubt if its actually a man behind that account.

A fool is often "wise" in his own eyes.

Anonymus010:
NB: This is not my real account, I created this account for the purpose of this issue.
Please, I need the advice of married people (especially married men). I will make the story as simple as possible and I promise not to compromise the truth to favour me in this issue.
Brief Introduction: I am a man in my late 20's. Got married last year and currently have a 3month baby.
Brief history of my relationship prior to marriage: I dated my wife for 4years before we finally tied the knot last year. I met her in the university, we were classmate in school. Before I started dating my wife, I was dating a girl in the same class but we both agreed to separate after 1year because we were age mate and she was keen on getting married immediately after graduation which I knew I will not be ready for marriage by then (Note: No sex in the relationship, She was a virgin and because I couldn't assure her of marriage, I didn't sex her). After the break up with my ex, I became close to my wife and we started dating. She was self sufficient as she had a source of income while in school, she supports me, gives me money, cooks and buy me food etc. She was the best woman any man can think of. I fell in love along the line and decided this is the right lady to marry. Note: There were several backlashes from other classmates insinuating she snatched me from my ex but we scaled through all that. We dated for 2more years in school and we graduated. We dated for another 2more years post school till last year.
Brief history immediately before marriage: Everything was fine till my wife's birthday last year. I did tripple shifts at work(48hrs work non-stop) and came back a night before her birthday and slept off. I woke up 2:30am to wish her happy birthday. She got angry and told me I didnt put her in mind and that I was not the first person to wish her happy birthday (She later told me her ex wished her first at exactly 12am). I apologised to her and told her the reason I missed the time. I had just 10k, gave her 5k to do a birthday photoshoot, used about 3k to buy her goodies as salary has not been paid. Fast forward to after 1week of the birthday, she came up with serious issue, saying she wanted a break but not total break-up for some months to put herself together. She lamented she was not getting anything from the relationship, I don't usually take her out, I didnt celebrate her birthday well for her, I didnt buy cake, I didnt buy gift etc. I apologised and pleaded with her to be patient as we had big projects before us (wedding, masters degree and family apartment) which she knew I was saving for. We settled it and had sex. After 7days, I saw a call log on her phone where she had a conversation with her ex for almost an hour between 11pm and 12am. After 1month, she missed her menses and was pregnant. I asked her if she ever saw her ex, she cried and swore that she didn't (Note: I trusted her because she is modest and she is not the sex type). So, I agreed, accepted the preg, quickly arranged an impromptu wedding, I quickly sourced for money, spent over N2million on the wedding......
THE PROBLEM:
2weeks after the weeding, my wife started abusing my family especially my mum, telling me she hated how my family behaved during the wedding. I pleaded with her not to allow this to affect our home. The insults and abuse became perpetual. My wife works from home and will give me several reasons why she cannot cook after giving her money for food stuffs once I collect salary. Its just 2 of us living in a mini flat & I wash my clothes myself, but she will give me thousands of reasons how the non-existent house shores prevent her from cooking. After 9months, she gave birth, I asked her who she wanted to come do omugo with the baby between her mum and my mum. She opted for my mum (claimed her mum will be giving her problem). Not up to 1week that my mum came over, she has started complaining about everything she does. Despite the fact that this woman will wake up 5am, wash everybody's clothes, bath the baby but she doesnt cook. My wife started complaining about her being obligated to cook every morning because of my mum's presence(Note: she doesnt cook in the morning, if I am going to work by 8am, I will either warm a left over previous night's food or source for food outside). When the complain was becoming overwhelming to the point of her almost insulting my mum in my presence, I told her I will tell my mum to go back to her house( my mum lives in a mini flat too with my dad, so they are very comfortable). She said I shouldn't. After 1 month, my mum left. The abuse, insults and complain continued. She will nag about how my mum did when she was with us, abuse and insults my family. I will appeal to her and defend my family. My wife became complete opposite of who she was when we were dating.
The real issue at hand: We would be migrating to the US soon. Lately, I can't control my wife, anytime I don't buy her idea or wish, she will rain insults on me. Just 3days ago, she told me I don't have sense repeatedly just because she said we should go and greet her mum's pastor which I told her not now but we can go later. If I tell her to do something, she will do otherwise and give me thousand of reasons she can't do it. 2months ago, I reported all her attitudes to her mum, her mum talked to her but no change, she is getting worse. Last week, I did 24hours at work, I got home, my wife didn't cook. I got into the kitchen, made custard and placed the soup on the gas cooker. We were both in the living room. She perceived the soup was getting burnt and insulted me, telling me it was because I was not the one that dropped money for the soup, thats why I wanted to burn it (She cooked the soup with her money because my salary was delayed). She insults me at will, gives me no respect and treat me as trash.(Note: I had never cheated on her and she doesn't doubt my fidelity. Likewise, I had never suspected her of such too).
I am currently scared because I know US is women's world because I have included her and the kid as my dependents in my green card petition. I am scared for my life and career because she could go worse in the US and destroy all I have laboured for.
Please kindly advise me on what I can do to change her.
Sorry for the long write up and any grammatical errors.

gaby:
While you were busy running a marathon shifts at work, your wife had been busy with her ex, and this is where the "see finish" started from.

In your best interest, you had better jettisoned the US idea with her if not, na OYO be your name.

DNA, please

Some guys still don't understand that most women detest softie men to no end.

Toughen up some bro, that woman has tried and seen to what extent she can trample on you without any repercussions.

Be strong mate

Anonymus010:
NB: This is not my real account, I created this account for the purpose of this issue.
Please, I need the advice of married people (especially married men). I will make the story as simple as possible and I promise not to compromise the truth to favour me in this issue.
Brief Introduction: I am a man in my late 20's. Got married last year and currently have a 3month baby.
Brief history of my relationship prior to marriage: I dated my wife for 4years before we finally tied the knot last year. I met her in the university, we were classmate in school. Before I started dating my wife, I was dating a girl in the same class but we both agreed to separate after 1year because we were age mate and she was keen on getting married immediately after graduation which I knew I will not be ready for marriage by then (Note: No sex in the relationship, She was a virgin and because I couldn't assure her of marriage, I didn't sex her). After the break up with my ex, I became close to my wife and we started dating. She was self sufficient as she had a source of income while in school, she supports me, gives me money, cooks and buy me food etc. She was the best woman any man can think of. I fell in love along the line and decided this is the right lady to marry. Note: There were several backlashes from other classmates insinuating she snatched me from my ex but we scaled through all that. We dated for 2more years in school and we graduated. We dated for another 2more years post school till last year.
Brief history immediately before marriage: Everything was fine till my wife's birthday last year. I did tripple shifts at work(48hrs work non-stop) and came back a night before her birthday and slept off. I woke up 2:30am to wish her happy birthday. She got angry and told me I didnt put her in mind and that I was not the first person to wish her happy birthday (She later told me her ex wished her first at exactly 12am). I apologised to her and told her the reason I missed the time. I had just 10k, gave her 5k to do a birthday photoshoot, used about 3k to buy her goodies as salary has not been paid. Fast forward to after 1week of the birthday, she came up with serious issue, saying she wanted a break but not total break-up for some months to put herself together. She lamented she was not getting anything from the relationship, I don't usually take her out, I didnt celebrate her birthday well for her, I didnt buy cake, I didnt buy gift etc. I apologised and pleaded with her to be patient as we had big projects before us (wedding, masters degree and family apartment) which she knew I was saving for. We settled it and had sex. After 7days, I saw a call log on her phone where she had a conversation with her ex for almost an hour between 11pm and 12am. After 1month, she missed her menses and was pregnant. I asked her if she ever saw her ex, she cried and swore that she didn't (Note: I trusted her because she is modest and she is not the sex type). So, I agreed, accepted the preg, quickly arranged an impromptu wedding, I quickly sourced for money, spent over N2million on the wedding......
THE PROBLEM:
2weeks after the weeding, my wife started abusing my family especially my mum, telling me she hated how my family behaved during the wedding. I pleaded with her not to allow this to affect our home. The insults and abuse became perpetual. My wife works from home and will give me several reasons why she cannot cook after giving her money for food stuffs once I collect salary. Its just 2 of us living in a mini flat & I wash my clothes myself, but she will give me thousands of reasons how the non-existent house shores prevent her from cooking. After 9months, she gave birth, I asked her who she wanted to come do omugo with the baby between her mum and my mum. She opted for my mum (claimed her mum will be giving her problem). Not up to 1week that my mum came over, she has started complaining about everything she does. Despite the fact that this woman will wake up 5am, wash everybody's clothes, bath the baby but she doesnt cook. My wife started complaining about her being obligated to cook every morning because of my mum's presence(Note: she doesnt cook in the morning, if I am going to work by 8am, I will either warm a left over previous night's food or source for food outside). When the complain was becoming overwhelming to the point of her almost insulting my mum in my presence, I told her I will tell my mum to go back to her house( my mum lives in a mini flat too with my dad, so they are very comfortable). She said I shouldn't. After 1 month, my mum left. The abuse, insults and complain continued. She will nag about how my mum did when she was with us, abuse and insults my family. I will appeal to her and defend my family. My wife became complete opposite of who she was when we were dating.
The real issue at hand: We would be migrating to the US soon. Lately, I can't control my wife, anytime I don't buy her idea or wish, she will rain insults on me. Just 3days ago, she told me I don't have sense repeatedly just because she said we should go and greet her mum's pastor which I told her not now but we can go later. If I tell her to do something, she will do otherwise and give me thousand of reasons she can't do it. 2months ago, I reported all her attitudes to her mum, her mum talked to her but no change, she is getting worse. Last week, I did 24hours at work, I got home, my wife didn't cook. I got into the kitchen, made custard and placed the soup on the gas cooker. We were both in the living room. She perceived the soup was getting burnt and insulted me, telling me it was because I was not the one that dropped money for the soup, thats why I wanted to burn it (She cooked the soup with her money because my salary was delayed). She insults me at will, gives me no respect and treat me as trash.(Note: I had never cheated on her and she doesn't doubt my fidelity. Likewise, I had never suspected her of such too).
I am currently scared because I know US is women's world because I have included her and the kid as my dependents in my green card petition. I am scared for my life and career because she could go worse in the US and destroy all I have laboured for.
Please kindly advise me on what I can do to change her.
Sorry for the long write up and any grammatical errors.

lilmax:
well I didn't read your story

but the comments here says you're foolish


I believe those comments

Jayslicky:
The first thing I would advice you to do is to go and have a DNA test for that child, with what you explained here I don't trust that your wife, she is a big time pretender and pretenders are capacable of commiting dangerous sins.

The love between you two had quenched for a long time but you refused to see it, it all started from that her birthday, she felt you really didn't take her as your most important thing in life, I think that is when she started getting closer to her ex, I suspect that your wife and ex still had a short time relationship before getting married to you, she did that because she realise her ex was not ready for marriage and she was pregnant, so she decided to get married to you.

You can both go to see a counselor and let him know where you guys are lacking in your marriage, maybe you are not doing something right that is infuriating your wife but just hope she still has any iota of love for you, if not the marriage is as good as dead.

Kingosytex:
Dis is really pathetic, i can feel ur pains, believe me i seriously do.

If I understood u Anonymus010, u said you never had sex with the first girl u dated because she was a virgin and u didn't want to assure her of marriage: VERDICT==> U are a nice guy with self control. U aren't like a great majority who insert their rod into any available hole.

You equally said that her ex wished her a happy birthday b4 u: VERDICT==> Okafor's law comes into play. i almost had sex with my ex, though she is married but we still have affections for each other. What if i tell you that the new born baby isn't yours? i suggest you run a DNA test to ascertain the paternity of the baby

She is very determined 2 bring u down and i am afraid to tell u dat peace might be a stranger to u until d matter is resolved. DON'T TAKE HER TO THE STATES atleast 4 now, else u are a "goner". Her heart still beats for her ex, take her for counselling both spiritual and psychological and above all take your case to God in prayer