teelady:






op kindly consider this advise, but still do DNA test to avoid stories

You call that piece of shiit,advice?

Does that piece even make any sense to you?
I just taya for you o!

AwkaetitiBabe:
Okwa fake pastor.

Onye gwa gi!

pastor'm bu ote!

'pasitor' fat-oyibo!

Anonymus010:
I Need The Advice Of Experienced Married Men

NB: This is not my real account, I created this account for the purpose of this issue.

Please, I need the advice of married people (especially married men). I will make the story as simple as possible and I promise not to compromise the truth to favour me in this issue.

Brief Introduction: I am a man in my late 20's. Got married last year and currently have a 3month baby.

Brief history of my relationship prior to marriage: I dated my wife for 4years before we finally tied the knot last year. I met her in the university, we were classmate in school.

Before I started dating my wife, I was dating a girl in the same class but we both agreed to separate after 1year because we were age mate and she was keen on getting married immediately after graduation which I knew I will not be ready for marriage by then (Note: No sex in the relationship, She was a virgin and because I couldn't assure her of marriage, I didn't sex her).

After the break up with my ex, I became close to my wife and we started dating. She was self sufficient as she had a source of income while in school, she supports me, gives me money, cooks and buy me food etc. She was the best woman any man can think of. I fell in love along the line and decided this is the right lady to marry.

Note: There were several backlashes from other classmates insinuating she snatched me from my ex but we scaled through all that. We dated for 2more years in school and we graduated. We dated for another 2more years post school till last year.

Brief history immediately before marriage: Everything was fine till my wife's birthday last year. I did tripple shifts at work(48hrs work non-stop) and came back a night before her birthday and slept off. I woke up 2:30am to wish her happy birthday. She got angry and told me I didnt put her in mind and that I was not the first person to wish her happy birthday (She later told me her ex wished her first at exactly 12am). I apologised to her and told her the reason I missed the time. I had just 10k, gave her 5k to do a birthday photoshoot, used about 3k to buy her goodies as salary has not been paid.

Fast forward to after 1week of the birthday, she came up with serious issue, saying she wanted a break but not total break-up for some months to put herself together. She lamented she was not getting anything from the relationship, I don't usually take her out, I didnt celebrate her birthday well for her, I didnt buy cake, I didnt buy gift etc. I apologised and pleaded with her to be patient as we had big projects before us (wedding, masters degree and family apartment) which she knew I was saving for. We settled it and had sex. After 7days, I saw a call log on her phone where she had a conversation with her ex for almost an hour between 11pm and 12am. After 1month, she missed her menses and was pregnant. I asked her if she ever saw her ex, she cried and swore that she didn't (Note: I trusted her because she is modest and she is not the sex type). So, I agreed, accepted the preg, quickly arranged an impromptu wedding, I quickly sourced for money, spent over N2million on the wedding......

THE PROBLEM:

2weeks after the weeding, my wife started abusing my family especially my mum, telling me she hated how my family behaved during the wedding. I pleaded with her not to allow this to affect our home. The insults and abuse became perpetual. My wife works from home and will give me several reasons why she cannot cook after giving her money for food stuffs once I collect salary. Its just 2 of us living in a mini flat & I wash my clothes myself, but she will give me thousands of reasons how the non-existent house shores prevent her from cooking.

After 9months, she gave birth, I asked her who she wanted to come do omugo with the baby between her mum and my mum. She opted for my mum (claimed her mum will be giving her problem). Not up to 1week that my mum came over, she has started complaining about everything she does. Despite the fact that this woman will wake up 5am, wash everybody's clothes, bath the baby but she doesnt cook. My wife started complaining about her being obligated to cook every morning because of my mum's presence(Note: she doesnt cook in the morning, if I am going to work by 8am, I will either warm a left over previous night's food or source for food outside). When the complain was becoming overwhelming to the point of her almost insulting my mum in my presence, I told her I will tell my mum to go back to her house( my mum lives in a mini flat too with my dad, so they are very comfortable). She said I shouldn't. After 1 month, my mum left. The abuse, insults and complain continued. She will nag about how my mum did when she was with us, abuse and insults my family. I will appeal to her and defend my family. My wife became complete opposite of who she was when we were dating.

The real issue at hand: We would be migrating to the US soon. Lately, I can't control my wife, anytime I don't buy her idea or wish, she will rain insults on me. Just 3days ago, she told me I don't have sense repeatedly just because she said we should go and greet her mum's pastor which I told her not now but we can go later. If I tell her to do something, she will do otherwise and give me thousand of reasons she can't do it. 2months ago, I reported all her attitudes to her mum, her mum talked to her but no change, she is getting worse. Last week, I did 24hours at work, I got home, my wife didn't cook. I got into the kitchen, made custard and placed the soup on the gas cooker. We were both in the living room. She perceived the soup was getting burnt and insulted me, telling me it was because I was not the one that dropped money for the soup, thats why I wanted to burn it (She cooked the soup with her money because my salary was delayed). She insults me at will, gives me no respect and treat me as trash.(Note: I had never cheated on her and she doesn't doubt my fidelity. Likewise, I had never suspected her of such too).

I am currently scared because I know US is women's world because I have included her and the kid as my dependents in my green card petition. I am scared for my life and career because she could go worse in the US and destroy all I have laboured for.

Please kindly advise me on what I can do to change her.

Sorry for the long write up and any grammatical errors.

Bro. Send me your phone number to friendlyforces@gmail.com

This is grown men's talk not for public.

Advise: secretly do a DNA test on her baby to know if its yours.

Advise 2: That woman will show you hellfire if you mistakenely move with her to the USA. Be prepared to spend many nights in jail as she will be calling police on you anytime and might even accuse you of rape or assault to get rid of you.

Advise 3: go and get a girlfriend.

She enjoyed the pleasure of snatching you from the other lady. She has you now and its no longer any fun.

Plus her ex boyfriend is still ****king her steady. Ome day she will tell you that child is not yours.

Anonymus010:
I Need The Advice Of Experienced Married Men

NB: This is not my real account, I created this account for the purpose of this issue.

Please, I need the advice of married people (especially married men). I will make the story as simple as possible and I promise not to compromise the truth to favour me in this issue.

Brief Introduction: I am a man in my late 20's. Got married last year and currently have a 3month baby.

Brief history of my relationship prior to marriage: I dated my wife for 4years before we finally tied the knot last year. I met her in the university, we were classmate in school.

Before I started dating my wife, I was dating a girl in the same class but we both agreed to separate after 1year because we were age mate and she was keen on getting married immediately after graduation which I knew I will not be ready for marriage by then (Note: No sex in the relationship, She was a virgin and because I couldn't assure her of marriage, I didn't sex her).

After the break up with my ex, I became close to my wife and we started dating. She was self sufficient as she had a source of income while in school, she supports me, gives me money, cooks and buy me food etc. She was the best woman any man can think of. I fell in love along the line and decided this is the right lady to marry.

Note: There were several backlashes from other classmates insinuating she snatched me from my ex but we scaled through all that. We dated for 2more years in school and we graduated. We dated for another 2more years post school till last year.

Brief history immediately before marriage: Everything was fine till my wife's birthday last year. I did tripple shifts at work(48hrs work non-stop) and came back a night before her birthday and slept off. I woke up 2:30am to wish her happy birthday. She got angry and told me I didnt put her in mind and that I was not the first person to wish her happy birthday (She later told me her ex wished her first at exactly 12am). I apologised to her and told her the reason I missed the time. I had just 10k, gave her 5k to do a birthday photoshoot, used about 3k to buy her goodies as salary has not been paid.

Fast forward to after 1week of the birthday, she came up with serious issue, saying she wanted a break but not total break-up for some months to put herself together. She lamented she was not getting anything from the relationship, I don't usually take her out, I didnt celebrate her birthday well for her, I didnt buy cake, I didnt buy gift etc. I apologised and pleaded with her to be patient as we had big projects before us (wedding, masters degree and family apartment) which she knew I was saving for. We settled it and had sex. After 7days, I saw a call log on her phone where she had a conversation with her ex for almost an hour between 11pm and 12am. After 1month, she missed her menses and was pregnant. I asked her if she ever saw her ex, she cried and swore that she didn't (Note: I trusted her because she is modest and she is not the sex type). So, I agreed, accepted the preg, quickly arranged an impromptu wedding, I quickly sourced for money, spent over N2million on the wedding......

THE PROBLEM:

2weeks after the weeding, my wife started abusing my family especially my mum, telling me she hated how my family behaved during the wedding. I pleaded with her not to allow this to affect our home. The insults and abuse became perpetual. My wife works from home and will give me several reasons why she cannot cook after giving her money for food stuffs once I collect salary. Its just 2 of us living in a mini flat & I wash my clothes myself, but she will give me thousands of reasons how the non-existent house shores prevent her from cooking.

After 9months, she gave birth, I asked her who she wanted to come do omugo with the baby between her mum and my mum. She opted for my mum (claimed her mum will be giving her problem). Not up to 1week that my mum came over, she has started complaining about everything she does. Despite the fact that this woman will wake up 5am, wash everybody's clothes, bath the baby but she doesnt cook. My wife started complaining about her being obligated to cook every morning because of my mum's presence(Note: she doesnt cook in the morning, if I am going to work by 8am, I will either warm a left over previous night's food or source for food outside). When the complain was becoming overwhelming to the point of her almost insulting my mum in my presence, I told her I will tell my mum to go back to her house( my mum lives in a mini flat too with my dad, so they are very comfortable). She said I shouldn't. After 1 month, my mum left. The abuse, insults and complain continued. She will nag about how my mum did when she was with us, abuse and insults my family. I will appeal to her and defend my family. My wife became complete opposite of who she was when we were dating.

The real issue at hand: We would be migrating to the US soon. Lately, I can't control my wife, anytime I don't buy her idea or wish, she will rain insults on me. Just 3days ago, she told me I don't have sense repeatedly just because she said we should go and greet her mum's pastor which I told her not now but we can go later. If I tell her to do something, she will do otherwise and give me thousand of reasons she can't do it. 2months ago, I reported all her attitudes to her mum, her mum talked to her but no change, she is getting worse. Last week, I did 24hours at work, I got home, my wife didn't cook. I got into the kitchen, made custard and placed the soup on the gas cooker. We were both in the living room. She perceived the soup was getting burnt and insulted me, telling me it was because I was not the one that dropped money for the soup, thats why I wanted to burn it (She cooked the soup with her money because my salary was delayed). She insults me at will, gives me no respect and treat me as trash.(Note: I had never cheated on her and she doesn't doubt my fidelity. Likewise, I had never suspected her of such too).

I am currently scared because I know US is women's world because I have included her and the kid as my dependents in my green card petition. I am scared for my life and career because she could go worse in the US and destroy all I have laboured for.

Please kindly advise me on what I can do to change her.

Sorry for the long write up and any grammatical errors.

Sorry about the marital issues. Frankly, reading things like these scares me off women. Even women will tell you that they change once married (a woman, married for 23 years told me this).

Can’t say much asides that (1) You need an experienced marriage counsellor [this medium is not the best place for these sort of critical, life-changing issues] and (2) Do NOT take her to the States yet till your marriage is repaired.

With her kind of attitude, in the United States of America, you can kiss bye bye to your marriage and your life as a man. She will own you, use you and prevent you from going elsewhere. The law protects her. If you react, you’ll spend the rest of your life in jail— obviously she doesn’t love you, so she won’t mind if you do so. Get your US Visa and keep giving excuses for not travelling till your marriage is sorted out.

May God bring healing to your young family.

Princedapace:
See what I will tell u bro. I know how terrible this can be. But hear me, two wrongs can't make anything right. Two fires can't quench fierceness.

During this coming weekend, u should be free, take her on a date. Buy her good wine, red wine maybe okay, treat her well, let her drink, tell her how much u love her, how beautiful she is, what she means to u, pet her, play, etc depending on things she like. When she is tipsy, try and ask her what the problem is.. Ask her what u might have done to her. She will talk. From there, u will know how to handle it..

After then, secretly do a DNA test.. As for USA trip, slow it down for now.

What a load of crap!!!

Sir for the sake of your well-being don't take her to the US.
It's another world out there.
Keep an open mind in the relationship but don't give up on her because there is a child Now.
Above all pray to God.
Cuz he alone can see you through.

luminouz:

You call that piece of shiit,advice?

Does that piece even make any sense to you?
I just taya for you o!

I know right? thats why I adviced he did DNA test before all hell can let loose, for now let's allow a what if...

You friend zoned your wife and married a friend material. If the foundation is destroyed what can the righteous do? Pray! You got it wrong from your dating days where you tantalized her and promised heaven on earth. Give her a break and perform your duties and responsibilities except love making.
Stop checking her call log and messages, cook food and include her own without complaining. Divert your attention to the baby for just two Weeks. You will thank God thereafter. May God restore peace, joy and tranquility into your home in Jesus' name. Amen.

[quote author=genq post=80834751]

Dude don't try it. Being a simp apologist will always backfire. Those who see evil and sit back without speaking up are just as evil as the perpetrators.

Yes, I know I may come off harsh in my tone but it's because of how deeply passionate I am about this matter.

Society has programmed men to be weak and subject to the fluctuating emotions of women. Don't get me wrong, I love and respect beautiful women who are smart and hardworking (and there are still lots of them around)

But most women we see in this generation lack grace and true inner beauty. Men are getting weaker by the day. The true essence of masculinity is lost and if we continue like this, society will plummet into ... only God knows.

You are very right.

teelady:



I know right? thats why I adviced he did DNA test before all hell can let loose, for now let's allow a what if...

Well...OK...let's allow a 'what if' scenario then.,at least for his sake.

@dp...wetin do ya eye? U clowning or something?

Playing THIS HOES AINT LOYAL

ransomed:
You friend zoned your wife and married a friend material. If the foundation is destroyed what can the righteous do? Pray! You got it wrong from your dating days where you tantalized her and promised heaven on earth. Give her a break and perform your duties and responsibilities except love making.
Stop checking her call log and messages, cook food and include her own without complaining. Divert your attention to the baby for just two Weeks. You will thank God thereafter. May God restore peace, joy and tranquility into your home in Jesus' name. Amen.

*sighs*
How in God's name does this solve his problem?
You're making it more dire,he is a sissy enough..don't make him a yellow fruity sissy!!
Where do y'all get this ur advice from?

Seriously,did you even read the story?

sholikay:
well i'm not married, but from what you typed,it seems she has given you clue of what you are doing to her,which is prompting her to act that way...that's the issue of not giving her enough attention, care and love...some ladies might be so funny and crazy when you tend to deny them some things..she knew she is married now and since she can't cheat on you,due to conscience or whatever. she expected you to be giving her all she needs,irrespective of your busy schedule... why not deal with that first by planning your time with her,then see if she will change... I believe she can be easily manipulated by you,since she is not giving you a silent and cold treatment.... her constant nagging shows she needs you to amend immediately... women can be so funny...
note:I'm currently in such with my fiancee presently.. due to my NYSC posting we have been on this LDR thing for now,and I have not really had time for her like before..we hardly see,and she complains,nags at my little mistakes.but when I started shifting my attention back to her,her head is calming back a bit....



just be calm and amend...she is your wife now and not a fiancee or girlfriend...

Bro I hope you're joking sha. If you know what's good for you leave that toxic relationship before it leads to marriage. Never ever tolerate toxic behavior from anyone either male or female. Listen to the words of others so you don't go astray #shalom

Haha!! Maybe it's because I didn't wanna say 'given her a full body massage'


O pari

luminouz:

Which pat on the back eh?
Who that one EPP?
I know what you really meant...

Icon79:
Haha!! Maybe it's because I didn't wanna say 'given her a full body massage'


O pari

U nailed it...
*thumbs up*

OP,

Nigerians can't apply for visa lottery anymore so it seems you are visiting the US with an intention of staying put or not going back to Nigeria. Hustling on visiting visa means you can't do legitimate work, can't visit hospital (when the visa expires) and generally can't get all needed documentation that would make life easier. You can do under-table jobs like women braiding hair and all that stuff but it will be really tough. If that's the US plan, please don't do it. Also, one young bobo driving 2019 Toyota RAV4 on credit will be doing okie dokie with your wife and who knows you might end up with one of these husband snatchers if you end up in Houston. 50:50 no cheating. Lol.

Per your wife behavior, she is clearly tired of feeding you and seems to have realized her mistake betting on you making it in life. Believe me, the attitude is all about money, nothing else. Forget all those trash talk about lack of home training and those stuff. She won't change until you become financially successful or at least your financial situation is better than hers.

Also, don't waste your money doing any stupid DNA test, it's your child. Why would she force a child on you? You were not making any meaningful contributions to her life and she could afford to terminate the pregnancy without even telling you. Clearly, she married you because she had a thing for you but it seems you are slacking off and killing the confidence she had in you. Also, it could be early marriage attitude when women think they hold all cards and can do and undo. Get your second child and things begin to change since even the ex will give a woman with two kids some space except your wife cookie is spiced with honey.

Wahala dey o

The "thing" insulted you, your mom and your entire family and you are still asking what you should do?!!

OK. Isorait! Please build a shrine for her in your living room and start worship her. Abi wetin remain?

Cheeei, marriage

A ga-ejekwa ije a eje.

Seriously sometimes i wonder if women are capable of anything else other than destroying men's life. Just look at this op for example, he might have to put a halt to a great opportunity of relocating to the u.s just because a woman is involved somehow, he might also get high blood pressure just because of woman. Dont u sometimes wonder what the helll is even the purpose of women in our lives? What is the use of marriage if i am meant to marry in order to get peace of mind, but instead get high bp? Why the helll will i still be married to a woman that will not cook for me, will stay intouch with her ex, will disrespect me or my family? Does it make common sense to still remain married to such a woman? The whole purpose of marriage, being the wife etc have been defeated, why still remain married? My ex wife did less than what this op wife is doing, but i divorced her nontheless. I now have my peace of mind. Let her carry her drama somewhere else. Op, dont wait till ur life is destroyed.

Bros, you should have seen this coming the moment she started misbehaving on her birthday.

Whatever you do, make sure you don't take her to the US

I quickly sourced for money, spent over N2million on the wedding...

why

edigo1:
My advice (if you're a Christian)
1. Marriage has no referees, umpires or advicers. You shouldn't seek advice from such public places.
2. Divorce is not allowed. Have in your that your marriage must work and work towards it.
3. Engage resourceful dialogue with your spouse.
4. Step up your sacrifice towards your spouse/marriage.
5. Have a common person the both of you respect, honour and listen to like a pastor, father, mentor etc. This will allow for checks and advice.
Most importantly, commit her to her maker, he understands her more than you do and can fix her appropriately. Pray seriously.
By God's grace, you'll scale through and will be smiling on the other side. Be the man/groom

You are big fool. who gave u an opinion in the midst of sensible being...iranu ofo

2 million wedding

DNA, DNA, DNA ASAP. If the child is yours, send money for her upkeep.

DON'T TAKE THAT WOMAN TO THE USA, IF YOU DO SHE MAY END UP SENDING YOU TO JAIL OR EARLY GRAVE. SHE MAY EVEN TURN HER DAUGHTER AGAINST YOU. US -when a woman or a child call police that may be the end of the man of the house, police will take him away with whatever he has on, judge will be on the side of the woman and the man may never step into his own house again, he will be order to pay monthly child support.

YOU ARE - SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY, the Joy of the Lord is your Strengths.

It's wrong bro for you to allow your wife to abuse your mum.. This is mum we talking about o... What if outsider slap your mum? Na look you go look? Wetin person no go take when hyn rich, na from poor e dey stop am bro...

young man!, I stop reading @ u'll be relocating to US.Abeg! remof that thought from Ur brain oo, There's nothing U can do to satisfy this winch U kal wife.Ur best bet is to parachute her from ur house and completely from ur heart.Erase her memory patapata.Throw her away.if she dare vome with any village pipu/her family, DISGRACE DEM, dnt listen to any kind of begging. Even her mum knw the type of lady she be/her mum too is a useless woman. .RUN for ur life biko.U can't satisfy this one.May u NOT COMMIT MURDER

I just dey laugh, this post makes me angry so tay, but thanks to a few commenters who have dished enough corresponding swear on the OP, the swear is actually calming me, if not, I can just pick a lash and flog this OP till he bleed for disgracing manhood to such an abysmal level.
.
People like u shouldn't get married...You don't have what it takes to handle a woman. DONT APOLOGISE TO WOMEN!!!!!..WTF...Somebody you should have scolded or given the beating of her life for bringing her ex into her birthday matters... why are men so stupid? That guy fvcked your wife on her bday...impregnated her, yet you are apologising...You are such a big fool..a disgrace....
.
You think having money makes u a man that can handle a woman....Your suffer just start, dont do the needful or be thinking one psychotherapy or counselling will heal your wife....By the time she kills you, you will go to heaven and ask for advice. nonsense....I don't support beating ... but this kind of your wife, I will beat the hell out of her and send her away!
Rubbish.

Lmao. Captured.

Except for the last part. A woman with 5 kids can still cheat if she wants to. Some men can’t say no pucci, no matter who it belongs to.

As for OP and his wife, money will solve their problem

Olddirtywizard:
OP,

Nigerians can't apply for visa lottery anymore so it seems you are visiting the US with an intention of staying put or not going back to Nigeria. Hustling on visiting visa means you can't do legitimate work, can't visit hospital (when the visa expires) and generally can't get all needed documentation that would make life easier. You can do under-table jobs like women braiding hair and all that stuff but it will be really tough. If that's the US plan, please don't do it. Also, one young bobo driving 2019 Toyota RAV4 on credit will be doing okie dokie with your wife and who knows you might end up with one of these husband snatchers if you end up in Houston. 50:50 no cheating. Lol.

Per your wife behavior, she is clearly tired of feeding you and seems to have realized her mistake betting on you making it in life. Believe me, the attitude is all about money, nothing else. Forget all those trash talk about lack of home training and those stuff. She won't change until you become financially successful or at least your financial situation is better than hers.

Also, don't waste your money doing any stupid DNA test, it's your child. Why would she force a child on you? You were not making any meaningful contributions to her life and she could afford to terminate the pregnancy without even telling you. Clearly, she married you because she had a thing for you but it seems you are slacking off and killing the confidence she had in you. Also, it could be early marriage attitude when women think they hold all cards and can do and undo. Get your second child and things begin to change since even the ex will give a woman with two kids some space except your wife cookie is spiced with honey.

Anything you wanna do is fine but what you don't wanna do is take her to the US. Don't even conceive the idea. Good luck!

Logobenz2:
Woman insult your family in your presence you no jam am till she collapse
Bros you dey fall hand o
Please no one should advise this kind of weak man.spits!
Who wouldn't know what to do at this point?some people dey born sha
Just look at someone's son.e be like na pap den use raise you.
Your mom comes to your own house and your wife not only mistreated her but tried to insult her in your presence?you know why?she knows you are a weak man.
That was your golden opportunity to teach her a bitter lesson that will be justified anywhere in Nigeria.
I wonder what she will do to you if you take her to the US.
Better cancel all plans of that visa,withdraw the application,divorce that woman whether the child is yours or Not,do not care!just be sending upkeep money for the child and get yourself another woman.
Jesus Christ!

God bless the womb that birthed you... na man you be... walahi...

I used to be like the dude though but now people complain of my hot temper...they do not understand I have tolerated a lot of SHIIIT in this life, especially from Nigerian girls... Just few hours ago, my friend was telling me he wonders how my wife will cope lol... i dont just flare up, there has to be a reason, such as this one explained by the OP.

lilmax:
well I didn't read your story

but the comments here says you're foolish


I believe those comments

I fear u oooooo