₦airaland Forum

Pavarottii:
I pity u, sooner or later u will know what u av done to urself... Be thinking the money She is making is for Taking care of the family...

Pavarottii:
Yes can't she die single... Following ur analogy... It will be better if he or she does single.., abi?

ekitimanalways:
What has tribe got to do marital problems?

Pavarottii:
I pity u, sooner or later u will know what u av done to urself... Be thinking the money She is making is for Taking care of the family...

beeijeoma:
Op truly your hubby has been disrespectful to you but all marriages go through teething problems . Mindset is very important in marriage and you need to decide from the beginning if you want in or out. 2 years in marriage is still early days and you guys are trying to understand each other and establish your boundaries. Words hurt but after a while you just shrug it off . If I go down memory lane and think of some of the names my hubby has called me I would have left him a long time ago. We have been together for 10 years now and I am enjoying my marriage like mad. If you and your hubby are talking and he starts getting upset keep quiet and say nothing. The day you know he is calm and okay go and talk to him and air your grievances. . Fighting and arguing does not help issues will only escalate. My husband is always worried when he gets annoyed and I don't talk he prefers arguments but I am now an expert in keeping mute. The only thing I cannot take is beating any other thing I just ignore. Just like you are a professional and well travelled are so many other women who are dealing with marital issues. If he says leave ignore him, if he leaves ignore him. If you ask him to do something for you and he forgets ignore and do it yourself. Don't let anger rule your heart choose to apply wisdom .

Gforce2015:
My broda, read btw the line you see more than what the op has just scripted.... You can't be of great value to the family and a right thinking guy will tell you that you are not valuable to him...
I'm a guy, I know how it works...

AntiBrutus:
Indeed. Are you not the double-mouthed pattot again.

Shallypop:
85%.

LadySarah:
Bearing in mind that your name sounds muslim,are you sure a second wife isnt loading?

What needs to be said.
1a.When someone says hurtful things to you during a quarell,that is wht they have been thinking about you.
1b. 5x and you always come back.You are a good woman but Its time to change tactic.

2.The house belongs to both of you.If he says leave,dont leave.If he didnt push you or your stuff out,stay.Dont give him room to keep disrespecting you.Go to the fridge,take enough food then back to the sitting room.Make sure you stretch your legs well on the cushion and watch your favorite movie.You can Play a song and sing away .you can also Run around the house with your bby

If your presence irritates him,then he should leave.If he doesnt come back and the house is rented,make sure you stay till the last day of rentage and go back to ur parents,thats if he refuses to renew it.
Thankfully,their home is opened for you.

3.The baby's welfare should be paramount to both of you.so,if he didnt buy it,both of you should endure the crying.Do not initiate any discussion anymore .

4.At this stage,you shouldnt think of another baby.Theres no peace here.Work on yourselves.

5.Pray.Counselling is also neccessary.If he refuses to go then let him be.
6.If it gets physical,Nne,run!!!!!!!!!! .

PLS,Thankfully you work.Stop these arguments.Ignore him when he tries to provoke you.Dont watch warroom .Pls make yourself happy.You owe it to yourself.Dont let any human define your happiness.

franchasng:
You won't understand, I am already blessed with the best woman any young man can dream of and I am proud of her and what she is becoming everyday, and I will support all her dream, u should be happy for me about that sis, stop being a sadist for no reason

AntiBrutus:
Lol. It is funny how when a man disrespects his wife, you all will CALMLY claim it is because she is not contributing - FINANCIALLY.

But would still bash Naija women for wanting FINANCIALLY CAPABLE MEN.

You still want same Naija women to RESPECT their husbands who are not meeting their FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS.

Why?

Because he has BIG PRICK.

The double standard is nauseating.

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

I got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

but he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving.

As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Rexology:
The level of Jungle justice in Nigeria is alarming and should be checked. A young lady reported her husband's attitude of allegedly disrespecting and disregarding her, without hearing from the husband, judgment is been served against him already. Sadly this is what we have become in this Country.
Since I have not heard from your husband to have a true picture of the situation, I am not in a position to advice you . Beware of the counsels you get from people online or offline. Most people advising you here are either single or had a failed marriage.

In all remember that "a wise man builds her home but a foolish man destroys it"
Peace!

Gforce2015:
My broda, read btw the line you see more than what the op has just scripted.... You can't be of great value to the family and a right thinking guy will tell you that you are not valuable to him...
I'm a guy, I know how it works...

Hedonisco:
All these stubborn 'independent woman' kind of women and their wahala. A massive turnoff and a no no for men who desire peace and sanity. Even for casual sexual flings and relationships sef, I can't stand these headstrong, over-opinionated, coarse, prideful, disrespectful types. Prick can't stand for such rubbish creatures. Not to mention going the whole mile to wife her. God forbids.

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

AntiBrutus:
I see. One alfa male has found love. He is mow retracting his previous submissions.

I wish you both the best.

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all





Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

ifyalways:
Whatever you do, do not call or text or contact him in anyway to beg him, invite or ask him to come back home. Take a deep breathe, put your feet up and enjoy some peace and quiet.
Tomorrow, take a piece of paper and write down boldly that you will not accept disrespect and emotional abuse from him anymore. List out all his disrespectful attitudes and let him know that as hes walking back into the door, he had better drop them. No negotiations. Also let him know that you are ready to make the marriage work but only if hes ready and willing. Paste or keep it where he'd surely see it whenever his petty ars.e come back.

Emotional abuse and disrespect is as bad as physical abuse. Getting up from the floor, setting boundaries and standing firm is the only way to stop being anyones door mat. Love and treat yourself right FIRST .

blank:
Lock the door and send his clothes out to him. Tell him he is of no importance to you and you have decided to move on. Good luck.

I can't stand such disrespect.

Zhuhilat:
Thanks all. I appreciate.

Truly speaking, i am just tired of it all.
I do not know how a very comfortable young girl, working in the health sector, traveling to different countries for conferences ended up here.

I feel like this is my life now, no light at the end of this tunnel

No my husband isn’t broke we earn really really well and i am not doing baldly either.

My biggest worry is for my child.
Also when is enough is enough?
I dont want to loose myself. I am just 26.

So sorry for ranting but it is better than talking to family members that will gossip about you.

Rexology:
The level of Jungle justice in Nigeria is alarming and should be checked. A young lady reported her husband's attitude of allegedly disrespecting and disregarding her, without hearing from the husband, judgment is been served against him already. Sadly this is what we have become in this Country.
Since I have not heard from your husband to have a true picture of the situation, I am not in a position to advice you . Beware of the counsels you get from people online or offline. Most people advising you here are either single or had a failed marriage.

In all remember that "a wise woman builds her home but a foolish woman destroys it"
Peace!

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

dominique:
Men vowing they can't live in homes owned by their wives should come and see threads like this, they don't want to endure what women have been enduring for centuries. Nobody should have a monopoly of disrespect, if you can't take it, don't give it.

franchasng:
you can go through all my posts, I have always encouraged ladies to be financially valuable before marriage, not because i want them to be spending on their husbands, no, but for their own security and to give them a sense of self worth and personal happiness and love.

I have never supported housewife ideology.

Which rich man on earth married a housewife except in Nigeria where average men marry housewife and feel like they are don for keeping a housewife.


By Gods grace if I have a daughter in future, I will do my best to ensure she is financially empowered before she agrees to marry any man, I am not doing it for her husband but for her own security and value

Zhuhilat:
Thanks all. No i am not a Muslim.
Couples will always have misunderstandings, we are 2 different people with different upbringing so we will always have mis understanding even siblings do.

I just get tired of all the leave my house and stuff.
How do I commit to a marriage financially (although, i do) and emotionally when i can be kicked out any day?

Also isn't the house s ours?
Secondly, how do I protect my child from all this?

Also I believe that every time he apologizes, i tell myself that maybe it was my fault and then i just let it go and go out of my way to please him again. I do not give him space to work on it too in other words,enabling this to continue.

Either ways thanks guys.