SKYloafFISH:
Sorry for your predicament. He might not be cheating on you but I am 100% sure he has anger issues. He is also probably having a bad time at work or cash strapped. So when your mum sent food over he felt his ego was bruised.

The best thing is to be patient and look for a couples counseling program. He needs to curb his anger.
From your own aspects too, even though you did not say you did any negative thing, I would suggest you are patient while responding to him. Better yet just ignore whatever he is saying. But that anger management class is important

U'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. I KNOW A WOMAN , THOUGH A NICE AND QUIET PERSON , SHE WILL INSULT THE HUSBAND TO SUBMISSION. BUT COS SHE APPEARS CALM, SHE PLAYS THE VICTIM AND EVERYONE BELIEVES HER. ON THE OTHER HAND, THE HUSBAND IS A NO-NONSENSE PERSON.

AT THE END OF THE DAY, THE MAN QUIETLY MARRIED ANOTHER WOMAN OUTSIDE , AND BECAME CALM AT HOME. I BELIEVE THE OP IS ALSO A TEMPERAMENTAL PERSON. IF U WANT TO REMAIN MARRIED, U WON'T BE LEAVING UR MATRIMONIAL HOME AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION, AND WON'T BE CONTEMPLATING, CHEATING JUST IN 2 YEARS OF MARRIAGE. INFACT, THIS ARE NOT THE TRAITS AND VIRTUES OF A GOOD WOMAN. IT'S TOO EARLY AND U OBVIOUSLY DON'T LOVE UR HUSBAND.

LASTLY, STOP COMPARING STORIES IN MOVIES, TO REAL LIFE SITUATIONS AND LEARN NOT TO ARGUE AT EVERYTHING, IT WON'T HELP U IN ANYWAY. SOME MEN WON'T TAKE U BACK , IF U DARE LEAVE UR MATRIMONIAL HOME. AND U WILL BE REPLACED, ASAP.

MrSly:

Married for just two years and you are already seeking for love, attention, bla bla bla, yeah yeh yeah yeh yeh.... A na ekwugheli!!

Interpret!

omonikiba:
My granma sends me garri, dry pepper, oil from village, oh, let me not forget she sends yam and plantain too, even melon. Mama can send the whole village if possible.

My hubby enjoys it now. Initialy, he wasn't comfortable with it, I told him mama do that to all her children and am not an exception. She cant travel to your house empty handed, never.

What we do is we give her money in return, there are times i send her money to get me oil. Not an insult at all. All caring mothers do this and it's not because they want to disrespect you. The only thing is give them the cash, more cash to cover the food stuffs and more, buy them cloths and things you know they need. Chikena.

On arguing, you guys are still new, stop running upandan. My hubby n I argued alot when we newly got married. I had to learn to laugh when he start, when I start my own he goes to bed because we never liked the way we argued. You both are still in that 'know me know' you period.

You want to look out, no good man out there ooo, forget getting love outside. Build your home.

What will you do if your hubby tells you five different times that you are completely useless.

He didn't say I don't love you anymore o.

He said you are completely useless. As in, your child bearing, financial contribution, cooking and cleaning, sex, emotional support and the fact that he can be respected as a married man outside are all useless.

ecolime:
From your writeup, it seems your husband has anger issues and you have ego issues as well.

Your marriage is a young one and you guys can still make things work. Do not listen to rubbish advises online. Some are home wreckers while some are frustrated singles. I do not in anyway support emotional abuse in any form though.

I believe some men react this way when they don't get sufficient financial support from their equally working partners. He might be overburdened financially. How well are you supporting him financially?

i thought as much... I have friend like that too he has serious anger issues, everything is not cheating!, please listen to this advice your hubby has anger issues start off from there and remove any thoughts of cheating, I bet he is not!

Like your mama own abi?

GogobiriLalas:
You should prove your value; most women nowadays bring nothing to the table except their kpekus; the truth is no kpekus dey sweet pass 2yrs

dominique:
Men vowing they can't live in homes owned by their wives should come and see threads like this, they don't want to endure what women have been enduring for centuries. Nobody should have a monopoly of disrespect, if you can't take it, don't give it.

I just knew I would see this type of post

I detest one sided stories....would have been better that you asked him to submit his side of the story too.

From the two testimonies, we could deduce the koko.

Octopusssy:
Everything doesn't always have to lead to an argument, unless the both of you are always wanting to get the last word. Sometimes you have to stoop to conquer.

However, making such statements as ''you have zero value to me'' and ordering you to leave at the slightest provocation is totally unacceptable and should not be condoned for any reason.

My take is both of you need to have sense talked into your heads by someone older and more experienced.

Wow!! Lovely advice!! I've found my wife..

The point is that you guys didn’t studied your self before you both got married


My questions is that did you married legally


Or did you just took in and hook him up with the
Pregnancy and get wedded


Your husband isn’t cheating on you.

He is just a temperamental person

Everything he says isn’t coming from his heart

It was just a mere word of his.


I see no
Reasons why you have to developed interest in outside


Mind you their are millions of single women out there looking for a good man like your man


Please embrace your husband seat him down and talk to him


Be his guardian angel

Looking outside or getting a Bleep mate will worsen the whole scenario


Don’t be surprise if your husband marries your best friend at the end.

blank:
Lock the door and send his clothes out to him. Tell him he is of no importance to you and you have decided to move on. Good luck.

I can't stand such disrespect.

Lol..I go with you,I wonder how some people just find it easy to say sh1t words at their partner.
Bad words from someone you least expected can drain you down.

The man is just being childish,was he force into marriage?
Well I hope you they sort things out soon ,call both families together and resolve any issues,it's just 2 years for Christ sake.

I hate it when a husband tells his wife to leave his house; it happens mostly amongst illiterates; partially thanks to nollywood

and also a father threatening to chase a child away from home, like seriously!!!

truthsayer009:


I just knew I would see this type of post

Actually wanted to tag you. To come see what your elder brother is doing.

blackboy:
Madam. You are a married woman! A wife ! A mother! You are talking of seeking attention outside. Which is worse? A child seeing her mother a good example of a mother n wife while her husband is not appreciating her 100% or a case she sees her mother as a slut whom her husband does not appreciate?
Madam make it work. He no beat you. No carry you hand commot from house again. Make it work. A man you can ask to buy baby food means you can talk to him. Sit him down and talk to him

Seeking attention outside? Or she is already getting attention outside

blank:
Lock the door and send his clothes out to him. Tell him he is of no importance to you and you have decided to move on. Good luck.

I can't stand such disrespect.

See your mouth.. Who is the Head of the house. Who is paying the rent. There is something the woman is not telling us. Do you think is all men that can stand offensive words from a woman without retaliating back.. Thank God for my type. Whenever my woman will start barking, I will just get my headset and start listening to music cos I don't want to hear noise. Or better still just take. Stroll.. When her mind Don come down then we go talk...

Mstick:
Madam you wouldn't get any reasonable advice on here , they will ask you to endure because most of them saw there fathers doing same to their mothers and she endured and they do same to their wives.They will see nothing wrong with your husband cheating rather they will bash and insult you.


Think about yourself and what do YOU want.

Her husband is not cheating he has anger issues simple, all you stupid home wreckers knows is albout CHEATING!, rubbish, any small thing cheating so people are not born temperalmental again!?

There are too many things you are getting wrong, as a couple ... but this is for u, as a woman.
Arguments, over minute issues, u don't exactly respect your husband, yes he can be an ass but, you respect him and accept his bs when tempers are flaring.
Swallow your pride and stop reading chimanda adichie books, they'll only ruin Ur marriage. If he says he doesn't like a thing, why argue? He is your husband, tell him you are sorry make necessary adjustments, when things calm down... and all heads are cool, u sit and talk and reach a reasonable conclusion...
You are his wife, you bear his name, respect him, don't be a hot head, you should be the sane one... but then, did u ever really love him, or u just wanted to get married?
Understand your husband, it's part of the job description.

Till we hear your husband's side of the story...
Meanwhile...

Zhuhilat:
It is very easy to say stay, work on it, watch war room. Nobody knows how it feels LITERALLY.
. It is well.

Thanks for the Advice or constructive criticism, I appreciate.

I may normally not have read a message like this but the topic drew my attention because I can relate to something in it. I actually think I have the tendencies to be in your husbands shoes. Or at least act like him depending on the scenario. Can I ask you some questions ma?

1. You said you are working? Does he value you as a complement in his financial life or as a liability. What do you really contribute to his welfare? Do you see yourself as a complement or a liability?

2. What attitudes do you give him when making demands. Like when you told him to buy baby food. Was there an attitude you think he was actually reacting to?

3. In what state of his life did you meet him? Does he have any course to feel you were with him because he was financially capable of marrying you and not because of love? Because statements like that emanate when the garb is off. The initial smokescreen that beclouded his/your judgement before getting married. And now you guys realise you don't really like each other as such. It was just a marriage of convenience and proximity.

4. At what age did you marry him? Could it be a pressure from within you and a fear you were not getting any younger that pushed you to marry him. Obviously this type of behavior doesn't wake up one day. There were red flags during courtship. Did you ignore all the red flags because he was the only option

5. You have a good command of English language so I can't say you are not educated and so have started to irritate him with illiteracy. But do you match him intellectually? Do you have interests in common, do you watch news or follow events of politics up the way he wants in a companion.

This is your side of the story. It could be that you have a way of placing him under mental pressure and you are not aware. Either by way of unnecessary argument or emotionally depressive attitudes. You should look within. Men are nice creatures by nature.

If all the answers to these questions are positive, and you actually are not doing anything that degrades respect, then I think he has a problem of aggression. Angry people do or say things they don't really mean to say. You should work on your finances and bring certain infrastructure into the house so he stops seeing you as someone he is squatting. Let him see you as a co-owner of the home

I will advise you stay away from him for a while till he can behave himself to aviod violence
Remember na who dey alive fit take care of baby.

In my own experience, been married to my wife for 5 years now, lived together for 7 years in total and known each other for 19 years. You would think all will be soooo smooth. Right? Wrong!

When we started living together, it was WAR. My wife is super stubborn and always likes to have the last and final say. Me, I had anger issues, the results was chaos.

My wife has a PhD in packing her bags, small quarrel, kpam, five minutes, all her load don ready near door. Give me transport, I am leaving. Friends o, family, pastor, landlord, neighbors nobody wey no settle us that time.

I love my wife to the moon and back. So I adapted. Regardless of who is right or wrong, I make peace, she will smile and wahala end. Over the years, I learnt that one person must give in when arguments or misunderstandings arise. Worst case scenario meet half way.

If you must have your way, come rain come shine, cannot apologize when you are wrong, cannot look at the big picture, the picture you had in your mind when you said I do, cannot sacrifice for the greater good, wahala dey o, dat marriage is going nowhere.

My 2 cents...

Instead of you coming on nairaland.com, when you and your husband are both calm . Tell him you are not happy and communicate . Let him know

Theres no perfect marriage. Pray, forgive, apply wisdom, have patience. If you wanna leave to be with someone else know that the grass is not always greener on the other side.

Sorry to say but you are married to someone that his head is not correct. What is the meaning of "leave my house" anytime there's an argument? If he could stay alone in the first place, why did he get married? And then again, what husband forgets to buy baby food and gets into a quarrel with his wife over such issues and the next thing he says is "leave my house"? Like, he didn't even think of the baby at that point? Secondly, why pick offence over foodstuffs brought by your mother-in-law? These issues are quite trivial for it to degenerate into someone saying leave my house. I just think your husband is immature.

Ur own better!!!! If i tell my wife to pack her things and leave, she will not even do as if she heard anything. Though i haven't said such words to her anyway but i know my wife and her reactions.

LadySarah:
Bearing in mind that your name sounds muslim,are you sure a second wife isnt loading?

What needs to be said.
1a.When someone says hurtful things to you during a quarell,that is wht they have been thinking about you.
1b. 5x and you always come back.You are a good woman but Its time to change tactic.

2.The house belongs to both of you.If he says leave,dont leave.If he didnt push you or your stuff out,stay.Dont give him room to keep disrespecting you.Go to the fridge,take enough food then back to the sitting room.Make sure you stretch your legs well on the cushion and watch your favorite movie.You can Play a song and sing away .you can also Run around the house with your bby

If your presence irritates him,then he should leave.If he doesnt come back and the house is rented,make sure you stay till the last day of rentage and go back to ur parents,thats if he refuses to renew it.
Thankfully,their home is opened for you.

3.The baby's welfare should be paramount to both of you.so,if he didnt buy it,both of you should endure the crying.Do not initiate any discussion anymore .

4.At this stage,you shouldnt think of another baby.Theres no peace here.Work on yourselves.

5.Pray.Counselling is also neccessary.If he refuses to go then let him be.
6.If it gets physical,Nne,run!!!!!!!!!! .

PLS,Thankfully you work.Stop these arguments.Ignore him when he tries to provoke you.Dont watch warroom .Pls make yourself happy.You owe it to yourself.Dont let any human define your happiness.

Pls accept my ehug. I hug really tight tho

Hello madam am also a married woman like you just WhatsApp 08030415171 let's talk

eni4real:
I like this one..
Op come and learn o...

BEST POST OF THE YEAR. THIS IS WISDOM AND MATURITY, ROLLED INTO ONE.

Marital troubles after just 2 years of marriage?!

Hello madam,am also a married woman like you WhatsApp 08030415171 let's talk

Zhuhilat:
Thanks all. I appreciate.

Truly speaking, i am just tired of it all.
I do not know how a very comfortable young girl, working in the health sector, traveling to different countries for conferences ended up here.

I feel like this is my life now, no light at the end of this tunnel

No my husband isn’t broke we earn really really well and i am not doing baldly either.

My biggest worry is for my child.
Also when is enough is enough?
I dont want to loose myself. I am just 26.

So sorry for ranting but it is better than talking to family members that will gossip about you.

the fact that he left the house doesn't mean he is cheating, no body chose him for you, so you shouldn't ask how u got here. Couples r meant to compliment each other, when he's hot, you are the cooling agent, when you are hot, he's your cooling factor.
Arguments will happen but if you understand the principles of soft spoken words, you'd make a headway.
Dont let your ego and u trying to be at par with Ur husband ruin your marriage.
If your biggest concern is truely your child and not the new attention you are getting else where you will become a submissive wife to your husband, learning as time goes the principle of actions and reactions , rippling effects, with the hopes that u stop looking at the now and project 10 years into the future...

Try to show him love and respect for one week, don't shout, don't be commanding, don't be aggressive, when he's yelling don't try to find out if your voice is louder, just say "baby, I am sorry".... Take the insults and BS, and see if there will be a difference...

boban007:
BEST POST OF THE YEAR. THIS IS WISDOM AND MATURITY, ROLLED INTO ONE.

Exactly!

blackboy:
Madam. You are a married woman! A wife ! A mother! You are talking of seeking attention outside. Which is worse? A child seeing her mother a good example of a mother n wife while her husband is not appreciating her 100% or a case she sees her mother as a slut whom her husband does not appreciate?
Madam make it work. He no beat you. No carry you hand commot from house again. Make it work. A man you can ask to buy baby food means you can talk to him. Sit him down and talk to him

Make it work? It takes two people to make marriage work. Not one person. Why should the onus be on the woman to "make it work" everytime?

Op, I think you should see a marriage counsellor