chronique:
Sorry to say but you are married to someone that his head is not correct. What is the meaning of "leave my house" anytime there's an argument? If he could stay alone in the first place, why did he get married? And then again, what husband forgets to buy baby food and gets into a quarrel with his wife over such issues and the next thing he says is "leave my house"? Like, he didn't even think of the baby at that point? Secondly, why pick offence over foodstuffs brought by your mother-in-law? These issues are quite trivial for it to degenerate into someone saying leave my house. I just think your husband is immature.

Bros or madam, calm down. It's a one sides story you've heard.

setobaba:


You people should stop hiding under marriage is all about tolerance, for God sake she's also a human.
Madam if you feel you've made the wrong decision by marrying your husband you had better retrace your steps back now, the more days you stay in that marriage, the lower the chances of getting another man quick.
Beside how old is your husband and which tribe?

I don't pray to meet a female like you .
What if she marries another man and same thing happens , she should also leave that one before her chances of getting another lowers . Clap for yourself.

LOL, this must have bn very interesting to read but page 9 is just too far away to give any sort of input. Pele OP.

franchasng:
hehe, Nigerian women have taught Nigerian guys how to dig gold too na


But on a more serious note, it is not wise for any lady to get married without a source of income of her own no matter how rich her husband is, before the marriage, get money from him and establish a business, a trade, or something for yourself my dear sisters pls.



Not that the man may need the money from you but in this era that some ladies are making waves, a man may develop sudden dislike or hatred for his wife on seeing and hearing how great his friends and fellow men's wives are doing exploit financially which may make him start to see his own wife as a nodowell



So AntiBrutus, most times its not because the man will ask his wife for money but sometimes its for ego and for rocking shoulder outside and bragging to his friends about his wife.....and again death does not pre inform any man when it will come, so every reasonable man ought to ensure his wife is financially empowered like him.


My soon to be wifey will be even more richer than me, in fact, I am building her already and she is doing wonders on her own, little more mentoring from me and she will join the stars

na wa oh
This marriage of a thing is very difficult. When I see issues like this it makes me want to marry a white woman

LadySarah:
Bearing in mind that your name sounds muslim,are you sure a second wife isnt loading?

What needs to be said.
1a.When someone says hurtful things to you during a quarell,that is wht they have been thinking about you.
1b. 5x and you always come back.You are a good woman but Its time to change tactic.

2.The house belongs to both of you.If he says leave,dont leave.If he didnt push you or your stuff out,stay.Dont give him room to keep disrespecting you.Go to the fridge,take enough food then back to the sitting room.Make sure you stretch your legs well on the cushion and watch your favorite movie.You can Play a song and sing away .you can also Run around the house with your bby

If your presence irritates him,then he should leave.If he doesnt come back and the house is rented,make sure you stay till the last day of rentage and go back to ur parents,thats if he refuses to renew it.
Thankfully,their home is opened for you.

3.The baby's welfare should be paramount to both of you.so,if he didnt buy it,both of you should endure the crying.Do not initiate any discussion anymore .

4.At this stage,you shouldnt think of another baby.Theres no peace here.Work on yourselves.

5.Pray.Counselling is also neccessary.If he refuses to go then let him be.
6.If it gets physical,Nne,run!!!!!!!!!! .

PLS,Thankfully you work.Stop these arguments.Ignore him when he tries to provoke you.Dont watch warroom .Pls make yourself happy.You owe it to yourself.Dont let any human define your happiness.

Well said.
But we also need to hear from the husband.
Some women can do anything just to get attention.

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

your problem is that you dont accept anything he says but to argue and argue , by the time you start accepting your problem will be half solved

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Heheheeee...I laugh in spintcerhood.
One of my pastors would say, if you're not ready for nonsense, don't get married.

The kind of men we have these days are boys. as in boyoyo not real men like our grandfather's ( cos some of our fathers too acted childishly).

Me I don talk am...I'm not going to marry for the sake of it. The man has to respect me till good old age cos I can't bear someone making it look like its all about him...
When a man starts behaving the way your hubby is doing, there's a small girl involved especially now that you have a baby and prolly the small girl still dey give am knock for head, he'll now feel its because of you the girl no gree.
Just package yourself now when you still be like human being, waka go front and use your life do better thing but dont remarry or flirt. Keep yourself and serve God.
When he comes back to his senses, let him work hard again to get you back and on one condition... he must go for test, wait another 3 months and do a confirmation test before you go back to him. Otherwise this man will turn you to mumu and dump you las las.

Men matter tire person.
Just watching them in 3D these days.�

Seek help. This could be the beginning of insanity. Check well and thank me later.

Kokaine:
na wa oh
This marriage of a thing is very difficult. When I see issues like this it makes me want to marry a white woman

Lol nwanyi ocha get their own problem if you dont know...every time you have a long phonecall with your brother she will be looking at you in your face and dont even try sending anybody any money at all at all

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

To be honest, its a very sad story you wrote if we are to look at things the way you have stated. But from a very normal perspective, you might also have a problem which is pushing your husband away from you.
I believe you both dated for a while before marriage so you should have seen certain things before going into the marriage but ignored. When you say you both argue a lot honestly that is questionable as well and points a finger to you as an issue because some men don't like when their wives talk back at them especially in a disrespectful manner. So its quite obvious you argue much with him and that might be one of the trigger points why he always want you to leave.

Him telling you that you add no value to him somehow shows that you maybe do nothing to really spice up the relationship between you both at home. Its really deep when a man says that because it means you bore him a lot and at the end you argue with him a lot. These things will push him away gradually and trust me, you thinking you will find happiness somewhere else will shock you and destroy you more because you will only see that happy moment for a while because that thing you have not been able to change about yourself that is pushing your husband away will still push any other person away from you maybe after they have gotten what they want from you and you might end up regretting why you ever left your marriage instead working on it and stop accusing your husband of being at fault.

I can't type much but I hope you build yourself properly to fix your marriage than to break your home expecting to fine happiness somewhere else. Its very rare to see any responsible man now that will with an ex wife very serious.

AntiBrutus:


Actually wanted to tag you. To come see what your elder brother is doing.

No be small thing oh. This "leave my house line" has been over flogged.

You are either married to a “boy” or someone who has regrets having married you. Obviously, he is expectant of somethings from you which you have been unable to provide . I wouldn’t know the things he is expecting but I have been in this kind of situation - btw I am guy. That relationship never worked because there was no way she would become the woman I want instead I ought to love the woman she becomes. I made the decision not to make the same mistake but to love the woman my partner becomes, not to change or expect her to meet some standards. It has worked for me. Please have a deep discussion with him and let him understand he can only love the woman you are and will become not the one he wants you be. Tell him to love your weaknesses and imperfection and not your strengths. This way you can grow together. As long as he keeps looking at those weaknesses, he will never see value.

Leave him and move to my house, I will treat you like a queen.

elektra:

Somebody needs to make an equivalent of War Room for men A movie that will provide solution for all their marital problems. Women cannot be enjoying magical movies alone

I think the movie "Fireproof" takes care of the menfolk.

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

It looks like he loves you. He is just troublesome. You have to scare him. When next he asks you to leave leave the kids for him and disappear. Go to a place where he wouldnt expect you to be. Dont pick his calls. Stay for like one month and ask your mum n sisters not to help him with the kids.

Take it easy, you guys are just knowing each other. The first 5yrs of any marriage are always rough. 2 people coming from different backgrounds. Learn how both of you can settle fight without involving family, it will help your marriage growing process.

Olafemiwa:
Leave him and move to my house, I will treat you like a queen.

Beware, kidnapper spotted.

Kokaine:
na wa oh
This marriage of a thing is very difficult. When I see issues like this it makes me want to marry a white woman

Don't ever try it except you want to be an houseboy for life. You should come and ask my brother.

The only viable option is to marry somebody you can build and teach. The process of the building will keep you focused and busy for life, that is only if you know how to build.

All I can say is that I'm available, when next he asks you to pack out of his house, do not only pack out of his his house, also pack out of his life and come into my life

Leave 5he marriage


It can never work


You are of no value to him.


Bitter truth

Kokaine:
na wa oh
This marriage of a thing is very difficult. When I see issues like this it makes me want to marry a white woman

they are the worst

saajus:
Take it easy, you guys are just knowing each other. The first 5yrs of any marriage are always rough. 2 people coming from different backgrounds. Learn how both of you can settle fight without involving family, it will help your marriage growing process.

the only reasonable advice so far

Japa

Zhuhilat:
It is very easy to say stay, work on it, watch war room. Nobody knows how it feels LITERALLY.
. It is well.

Thanks for the Advice or constructive criticism, I appreciate.

Speak with a qualified Muslim psychologist. Please don't go the extreme and lose your way and seen. We all have our own trials. Allah didn't promise us it will all be rosy. Pray for wisdom and patience for your husband. Allah is capable over all things.

(Edited this space)

If you still need to talk or anything else, feel free to mention me. I could try and get some other female personnel that I can't immediately get their contacts now.

I sincerely wish you and your family well.

This is why you should get your own shittt. So no stupid guy can tell you to go packing.

Every woman needs to be financially SECURE.

Zhuhilat:
Thanks all. I appreciate.

Truly speaking, i am just tired of it all.
I do not know how a very comfortable young girl, working in the health sector, traveling to different countries for conferences ended up here.

I feel like this is my life now, no light at the end of this tunnel

No my husband isn’t broke we earn really really well and i am not doing baldly either.

My biggest worry is for my child.
Also when is enough is enough?
I dont want to loose myself. I am just 26.

So sorry for ranting but it is better than talking to family members that will gossip about you.

This is a spiritual problem. Take it to God in prayer

The only issue with your husband is pride and that most difficult trait to fix in any human, he so full of himself and can't appreciate people around him and I put it to you that you saw the signs small small before you guys got married, study his relationship with his friends and family and you'll see the signs everywhere. Once I notice overblown pride in a man I intend to date , I immediately run away. Imagine quarrelling because of foodstuff , something he should be grateful for.




It's your choice though, deal with it or leave him.

Listen to one of Benson Idahisa's messages.


"how to win a war without fighting"... You will thank God.

elektra:


Somebody needs to make an equivalent of War Room for men
A movie that will provide solution for all their marital problems.
Women cannot be enjoying magical movies alone

watch fireproof

omonikiba:
My granma sends me garri, dry pepper, oil from village, oh, let me not forget she sends yam and plantain too, even melon. Mama can send the whole village if possible.

My hubby enjoys it now. Initialy, he wasn't comfortable with it, I told him mama do that to all her children and am not an exception. She cant travel to your house empty handed, never.

What we do is we give her money in return, there are times i send her money to get me oil. Not an insult at all. All caring mothers do this and it's not because they want to disrespect you. The only thing is give them the cash, more cash to cover the food stuffs and more, buy them cloths and things you know they need. Chikena.

On arguing, you guys are still new, stop running upandan. My hubby n I argued alot when we newly got married. I had to learn to laugh when he start, when I start my own he goes to bed because we never liked the way we argued. You both are still in that 'know me know' you period.

You want to look out, no good man out there ooo, forget getting love outside. Build your home.

@ Op I hope u read this post
This the most matured advice ve read so far.. More importantly from a married woman who has been in the business of marriage ..u will be surprised most of the comments here on NL are from under 18s..so u just need to filter out some advice
Arguements now and then are unavoidable.. Learn to be quiet or just walk away from the scene atimes
U are still quite young.. Don't ever make the mistake of looking outside that will ruin u completely.. Believe me
Well except u are divorced

All the best

All those telling her to make it work should calm down.
She got married to a boy who for some strange reasons refused to transition into a man.
Handling such is not as easy as you guys make it sound.

Dpaulie:
Dear OP, don't take advice from feminists because they will mislead u, by the grace of God, I'm married and my marriage is 5+ now, in the first and second year my wife experienced this a lot from me, any slight argument, I'll tell her to leave, as a matter of fact the day our marriage was a month exactly, we had this argument and I told her to pack her things and leave and that was around 11pm. There was one like that her mum came to our house and I told her infront of her mum to leave my house, that I will leave for both she and her mum (is there anything more ridiculous and disrespect than that ?) I left her and her mum inside and went to a friend, but her mum unexpectedly was waiting for me at home, I later went back home, her mum expressed how hurt she was with my statements, this is a very rich woman and popular in ibadan, I humbled myself and plead with her, after that, it happened time without numbers yet my wife endured it, by the grace of God it's been over 3 years now that we had any serious argument, and my wife remain my best friend because after the Almighty, she's the pillar of our marriage...dear op, 2 years is too early, pls endure it, it's just a matter of time, pray and reject what u dont want in your marriage

Hear ur silly self. So because she endured ur silly shit, it's now a ground for other women to endure such an abusive relationship. You aren't even shameful to utter this type of gibberish. Spit