₦airaland Forum

stay away from women for now

Solomon8144:
I learnt this the hard way. I got into a relationship that completely ruined me now i got less than 10k naira in my account unlike before i had close to 500k in my account before i got into one over clingy relationship even up till today my stupid self is still yet to break up tho she graduated already I'm waiting for her to move away from school area then i black her out completely.

I bleeped up. Relationship is really expensive for a struggling guy. I got up to 150k debts on my neck now and i can't ask my parent for money anymore cos I used to help them even help my younger ones in school and my other brothers when they got any problem that i can assist. They think I'm able to take care of myself now i. Can't imagine myself calling my mom to ask her for 2k chaii i no fit o.

I'm back to square zero I'm just in school with nothing.

I ruined my life myself instead of us to just sex the sex we actually wanted i went to stupidly ask her out.
This life sef

Sorry about all your troubles. I hope God opens doors for you so you can forget what has happened, but before that. I just want to know how you ended up spending 490k & owing extra 150k in debts because of your Girlfriend?

490k + 150k = 640k.

That's a lot.

pocohantas:
OP, you have been through a lot and that has made you connect with the empathetic side of you a lot. Humans like your type, they take advantage of your type, they emotionally blackmail your type...

Somehow they don't know you give just because it is who you are. They think you are "mugu" or one with few responsibilities. Been there, done that...not anymore.

You need to learn to say NO and mean it. Before they tell you their problems, start telling them yours. Buhari is still the President abi?

Look around and you might identify a need that can enable you diversify. There is real estate and if you are looking for how to invest your "cash"- look beyond (Tier 1) commercial banks. They don't encourage such. Other financial houses, including MFBs are your best bet.

Also be careful of the kind of woman you let into your life. All these new-generation slaykwins that live for the moment are very bad for a struggling young man.

thanks so much! Your last paragraph is important,I mean very very important to every hustling guys out there,it really worked for me

How Nigeria Ended Up In Poverty 101

professorval1:
Don't worry about tomorrow.

Just keep on helping people.
If tomorrow comes,
I assure you you will be alright!

Invest in learning; keep improving yourself
Invest in your career: Buy books, go to seminars/conferences
Save: for emergency
Invest in a business: Farming, transportation (Uber), software applications,etc. If you don't know any reliable business, keep buying land in reasonable places and fence them to avoid intruders. You can also invest in Treasury Bill/Bond/Fixed Deposit. Those investments are almost zero risks. You can make 11-13% annually on Treasury Bill. The only problem with TB/FD/Bond is that Naija inflation may nullify almost half of your profit.
Invest in your health: You can't make money if you are sick. Watch what and where you eat. Eat fruits and vegetables. Exercise at least 3 times a week.

Things to avoid if you don't want to experience the same thing you experienced while growing up:
Don't live beyond your means
Avoid too many parties and Aso Ebi
Avoid eating out. If you spend 1k Naira daily eating out, that's 365k in a year. Cook at home. Do mass cooking in the weekend and store them in the fridge/freezer. You are better of spending money to buy petrol to keep your freezer working for 4hrs than spending 365k/yr eating out.
Avoid waste, only buy what you need
Learn to say no. People will come with problems, always tell them that you would have helped if they had come the previous day. If you are highly moral and don't want to lie, then throw all your cash to FD/TB/Bond. That means you will always be broke automatically. Your main responsibility is your immediate family if you are not married, especially your parents. You need to be wise with siblings sometimes

contumely2:
I am a man in late 20's.
I grew up in lack. I suffered so much growing up. In fact, at a point the court had to eject us and threw our properties on the streets for inability to pay rent.

School fees were paid in instalments. Not like the fees were much even. But the funds were never there.


God has blessed me reasonably in the past few years. I made a lot of sacrifices too, denying myself pleasure, delaying gratification etc.

Lately, I noticed that I have been extravagant. Some of the extravagance is masked as charity to people.

I hardly say no requests and I empathise and pity people a lot.

If I lend money to 10 persons, only 3 will pay back.

I also buy some things on impulse; without planning. I regret some of these purchases later.

HOW DO I STAY motivated so as to save more to invest because the future is uncertain. And money is not always there?

I also understand that those we help may abandon us in time of need.

I don't want to learn the hard way.

Kindly share your experiences with grace to grass; or with people you helped in times of plenty.

Or your regrets with finances especially early in life.

Thanks!

GrabHisBalls:
Sterling bank gives currently that I know of. Some other financial institutions use current account statement not exceeding 6months too.

HOW do you sure about this?

I'm in my mid 30s but our story is similar. I came from a very poor family. We lived in our own house though but survival & preparing us for future was so difficult. It got worse when I lost my dad @10. In a nutshell, I conquered poverty d very hard way but I find it hard to set myself free of d poverty line thought.

After I hustled for over 10 years, I saved enough DT saw me thru d university, & d rest I lock in treasure bills. I'm so stingy even to myself. I hardly spend on myself but I often gv & lend people comfortable amount.

*I can't take any risk to engage my savings in any viable bus for d fear of losing my hard earned money

*Still living with my widow mum because my own accommodation will tell on my savings

*Perhaps, my continued singleness & bachelorhood is because I can't show some cash to attract these ladies.


Now, I'm thru with school & completed my nysc. I'm jobless. But I'm not broke. Is this d way I'll continue? I'm tired of this fear of poverty coming back...


OP, how religiously devoted are u? Don't lend to people again. Rather gv freely but reasonably. People & heaven will appreciate u more if u gv unconditionally. If u are buoyant enough, u can try treasure bills too.

Good People, help me, how do I begin to do things for myself & stop dreading poverty? or shld I endure a little longer till I get a job however small

I hold a B.Ed English edu. I pray I get a good teaching offer soon. But I'm tired of this lifestyle of poverty mentality I live now

JomoGbomo2:
Good for you to appreciate where you are coming from in terms of paucity of funds and even better that you do not want to return to that state; trust me, I know what you are talking about and i will give you some suggestions or advice to hold on to.

1. Always remember that it is possible to go back to that state of lack of fund you grew up and use this thought as a motivation never to return to such.

2. PAY YOURSELF FIRST: I don't know how much you earn per month/week but whatever it is; pay yourself first. If you earn 100k /month, before anything, remove 50% and save in an investment account (start with this option: STANBIC Money market can help you here) and build up capital there for future business/investment. Now you might ask yourself can 50% of my money take me till the end of the month? my answer to that is "you never had that money before and you survived till now", trust me it will take you. This money is yours for growth alone. When I was growing like you i was saving 90% of my income until i became very comfortable. I still do ~70% till date and I earn big. I can boldly tell you I own couple of companies now in Lagos and still have over 100M cash in account for someone that started with #0 just about 10years ago.

3. Separate emotions from reality and opinions from fact; this is what people around you will use to get money from you. They will say things like if you do not help them they will die. It is a lie!!!. If you are not alive will they die? Learn to separate reality from peoples opinion or emotions especially about your money.

4. Give yourself financial yearly target and try to hit it through savings/investment/business, e.g tell yourself you want 10M in your account by end of the year and do everything to achieve it; you will be amazed how much you will get. Extend this target to your businesses and everything financial around you.

5. Get a financial mentor; someone you want to be like and try to learn from him/her. You may not have one close to you so just get someone you can get books on and read about how the person made his money and try to replicate it.

6. Start reading books on financial and money matters and how to grow them. it will really help you. start with "The Richest Man in Babylon", try and read it more than once. Then start practicing what is inside you will be amazed.

7. Never try to run a business by proxy; not at this stage, you will loose the money. Do businesses that you can be part of. As you grow you will know when to run by proxy. So if any family member tells you to give him/her money to run a business and you will get returns, do not do that.

8. Always go to financial seminars/workshop or just watch them on youtube if they are expensive for you. The idea here is to stay close to people who want same thing as you and work for it like you do. If you have to change friends to do this, never blink an eye.

I hope with this God willing you should never go back to where you came from. Enjoy the financial growth journey my friend.

Almighty God will continue blessing you for the piece of advice! I was just like that guy to,started from no where, lost dad nd mum unemployed, no one to cater for me, but I realized I have to stand for my self! Firstly I learnt some skills(printing) after my secondary school,slept in public bus for 3yrs while learning, after gaining some knowledge,I started making some money,which I was only spending on one girl like that,all of sudden I realized over those years I Dont have anything tangible to point at as an achievement, it was when the girl left I realized how foolish I was.
Immediately I stopped dating,open a target account with gtb,started saving 25k from my monthly income till a year,the following year which was last year,I used the money to invest on poultry, by December based on my calculations, I should be able to have almost a million which will be reinvested.
One thing I studied abt life is its only you that could decide the future you want

See how you can cut the electric bill of your business into half https://explicitsuccess.com/how-to-cut-electric-bill-in-half/

eniorisha:
I'm in my mid 30s but our story is similar. I came from a very poor family. We lived in our own house though but survival & preparing us for future was so difficult. It got worse when I lost my dad @10. In a nutshell, I conquered poverty d very hard way but I find it hard to set myself free of d poverty line thought.

After I hustled for over 10 years, I saved enough DT saw me thru d university, & d rest I lock in treasure bills. I'm so stingy even to myself. I hardly spend on myself but I often gv & lend people comfortable amount.

*I can't take any risk to engage my savings in any viable bus for d fear of losing my hard earned money

*Still living with my widow mum because my own accommodation will tell on my savings

*Perhaps, my continued singleness & bachelorhood is because I can't show some cash to attract these ladies.


Now, I'm thru with school & completed my nysc. I'm jobless. But I'm not broke. Is this d way I'll continue? I'm tired of this fear of poverty coming back...


OP, how religiously devoted are u? Don't lend to people again. Rather gv freely but reasonably. People & heaven will appreciate u more if u gv unconditionally. If u are buoyant enough, u can try treasure bills too.

Good People, help me, how do I begin to do things for myself & stop dreading poverty? or shld I endure a little longer till I get a job however small

I hold a B.Ed English edu. I pray I get a good teaching offer soon. But I'm tired of this lifestyle of poverty mentality I live now

God will help us. It's not easy at all. This is why most people resort to Rituals and Crime. Things are not easy in this country. We

We share the same personality trait with me.... I must confess to you,try and help people only if you are capable of and don't offer people the kind of help that will deal a huge blow to you...people remember you whenever they need your help but you hardly seek for their help... That's one thing about life
Just do what you can

contumely2:
I am a man in late 20's.
I grew up in lack. I suffered so much growing up. In fact, at a point the court had to eject us and threw our properties on the streets for inability to pay rent.

School fees were paid in instalments. Not like the fees were much even. But the funds were never there.


God has blessed me reasonably in the past few years. I made a lot of sacrifices too, denying myself pleasure, delaying gratification etc.

Lately, I noticed that I have been extravagant. Some of the extravagance is masked as charity to people.

I hardly say no requests and I empathise and pity people a lot.

If I lend money to 10 persons, only 3 will pay back.

I also buy some things on impulse; without planning. I regret some of these purchases later.

HOW DO I STAY motivated so as to save more to invest because the future is uncertain. And money is not always there?

I also understand that those we help may abandon us in time of need.

I don't want to learn the hard way.

Kindly share your experiences with grace to grass; or with people you helped in times of plenty.

Or your regrets with finances especially early in life.

Thanks!

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This Is so Me

GrabHisBalls:
I learned this a bit late, though, not too late. If you have above 100K lying dormant in your savings account, then you're not smart enough to know that the money being kept in savings account doesn't yield interest. You're simply helping the banks without getting help for yourself. Get a current account rather, make sure that big transactions go through your current account. The reason for this is, you could use your current account bank statement to secure a loan going by how frequent funds pass or go in there even on a zero balance. Your savings account can't give you this privilege and should be used for your day-to-day transactions.

Secondly, who said 'investments' are for the rich? Go to any Merchant Bank, there are portfolios you could use for as low as 5k monthly investment. They'll also put you through in owing 'shares' and more.

how on mother earth how you able to combine grabbing balls and ditching such sound wisdom.

A highly inspiring and educative thread. The secret to success is in books. I read inspirational books since at my early twenties. I've powerful control over my spending habits. I am now successful with stress free job, descent house, good investment in tbills, lovely family and better health.

contumely2:
I am a man in late 20's.
I grew up in lack. I suffered so much growing up. In fact, at a point the court had to eject us and threw our properties on the streets for inability to pay rent.

School fees were paid in instalments. Not like the fees were much even. But the funds were never there.


God has blessed me reasonably in the past few years. I made a lot of sacrifices too, denying myself pleasure, delaying gratification etc.

Lately, I noticed that I have been extravagant. Some of the extravagance is masked as charity to people.

I hardly say no requests and I empathise and pity people a lot.

If I lend money to 10 persons, only 3 will pay back.

I also buy some things on impulse; without planning. I regret some of these purchases later.

HOW DO I STAY motivated so as to save more to invest because the future is uncertain. And money is not always there?

I also understand that those we help may abandon us in time of need.

I don't want to learn the hard way.

Kindly share your experiences with grace to grass; or with people you helped in times of plenty.

Or your regrets with finances especially early in life.

Thanks!

Open an ALAT account..... When people ask for monetary favours....... Rather than give them, put the money in your ALAT account.....

Review after 12 months and see how wasteful you could have been...........

Cooperative society is d best for u

Stay away from slayer girls cos they will suck you dry

Invest

contumely2:
I am a man in late 20's.
I grew up in lack. I suffered so much growing up. In fact, at a point the court had to eject us and threw our properties on the streets for inability to pay rent.

School fees were paid in instalments. Not like the fees were much even. But the funds were never there.


God has blessed me reasonably in the past few years. I made a lot of sacrifices too, denying myself pleasure, delaying gratification etc.

Lately, I noticed that I have been extravagant. Some of the extravagance is masked as charity to people.

I hardly say no requests and I empathise and pity people a lot.

If I lend money to 10 persons, only 3 will pay back.

I also buy some things on impulse; without planning. I regret some of these purchases later.

HOW DO I STAY motivated so as to save more to invest because the future is uncertain. And money is not always there?

I also understand that those we help may abandon us in time of need.

I don't want to learn the hard way.

Kindly share your experiences with grace to grass; or with people you helped in times of plenty.

Or your regrets with finances especially early in life.

Thanks!

Read the thread in the link below:
https://www.nairaland.com/2121184/w-r-e-principle-financial

Follow the principle religiously and you will be fine.

pocohantas:
OP, you have been through a lot and that has made you connect with the empathetic side of you. Humans like your type, they take advantage of your type, they emotionally blackmail your type...

Somehow they don't know you give just because it is who you are. They think you are "mugu" or one with few responsibilities. Been there, done that...not anymore.

You need to learn to say NO and mean it. Before they tell you their problems, start telling them yours. Buhari is still the President abi?

Look around and you might identify a need that can enable you diversify. There is real estate and if you are looking for how to invest your "cash"- look beyond (Tier 1) commercial banks. They don't encourage such. Other financial houses, including MFBs are your best bet.

Also be careful of the kind of woman you let into your life. All these new-generation slaykwins that live for the moment are very bad for a struggling young man.

A very good advise, more or less summarized all I was going to say.

To add:
OP, if you have some tangible sums, invest into fixed interest rate security assets: T-Bills or FGN Bonds. Don't worry the government will always pay you no matter how stupid the leaders are. I ventured into this early this year at considerably fair interest rates (slightly above 14%). So far its been good, having gotten paid for first half of 2019. Leave some idle monies there and continue your work/business as if you had nothing.

I was like you between 2015-2018 but not until I got hit with a loss in a huge investment. That was for me, a turning point. I ran a financial check through my bank statement and could see how many tens of millions I had 'wrongly' spent in 3 years; 'fiaam' my eyes opened.

These days I am strict, for the sake of myself, my wife and kids. What we have decided is to 'give' to charity at the end of each year, depending on how fruitful the year went. Don't be compelled to give what you do not have. Do not let "church givings" bankrupt you and minimize lending money to friends (stop it is possible), it spoils friendships - unless of course those who got your back in your times of need. If such friends are smart enough, let them work their work or approach lending institutions.

All the best.

a lot of experiences to learn from here

InvertedHammer:
/
It is simple.

Divide your wealth into two. Give half to charity and the other half as tithe.

You will become wealthier overnight.

Some of you have no business coming close to money.
\

Don't mind the olodo. Everything is spiritual to them.

I have learnt a lot from this trend. As I stand now, I am restarting my life. Is never too late to start again. I'm in my late 20s and I don't want live a life regret all because I'm pleasing people. Is a gradual thing

GrabHisBalls:
I learned this a bit late, though, not too late. If you have above 100K lying dormant in your savings account, then you're not smart enough to know that the money being kept in savings account doesn't yield interest. You're simply helping the banks without getting help for yourself. Get a current account rather, make sure that big transactions go through your current account. The reason for this is, you could use your current account bank statement to secure a loan going by how frequent funds pass or go in there even on a zero balance. Your savings account can't give you this privilege and should be used for your day-to-day transactions.

Secondly, who said 'investments' are for the rich? Go to any Merchant Bank, there are portfolios you could use for as low as 5k monthly investment. They'll also put you through in owing 'shares' and more.

Bro pls can u teach me elaborately on this issue?
What you mean by Marchant banks etal, I'll glad.. Onmaogbodo@gmail.com

contumely2:
I am a man in late 20's.
I grew up in lack. I suffered so much growing up. In fact, at a point the court had to eject us and threw our properties on the streets for inability to pay rent.

School fees were paid in instalments. Not like the fees were much even. But the funds were never there.


God has blessed me reasonably in the past few years. I made a lot of sacrifices too, denying myself pleasure, delaying gratification etc.

Lately, I noticed that I have been extravagant. Some of the extravagance is masked as charity to people.

I hardly say no requests and I empathise and pity people a lot.

If I lend money to 10 persons, only 3 will pay back.

I also buy some things on impulse; without planning. I regret some of these purchases later.

HOW DO I STAY motivated so as to save more to invest because the future is uncertain. And money is not always there?

I also understand that those we help may abandon us in time of need.

I don't want to learn the hard way.

Kindly share your experiences with grace to grass; or with people you helped in times of plenty.

Or your regrets with finances especially early in life.

Thanks!

e get company wey I know wey dae deal on lands and u fit dae pay installmentaly... jst wasap me on 07069021356

Pls can u enlighten me more on AXA Mansard MMf? Will be grateful.

RaphaellaDD:
OP, you need to keep detailed records of your expenses. You can download an expense tracker (I use daily expenses 3) and input all income & expenses. This way, you'll be able to see where your money is going more clearly. By the time you see the exact amount you used to do father Christmas, you'll slap yourself and cut down on it .

Also, you should decide on a minimum percentage of your income that you'll save/invest and when you get cash, send it away. You can lock it in an investment like the AXA Mansard MMF or others (I mentioned that because that's what I use).

Finally, with the way our wonderful economy is going, swapping free cash for dollars is a good idea and the chances of you dashing out dollars are lower....I hope

winiry:
Pls can u enlighten me more on AXA Mansard MMf? Will be grateful.

No problem. It's a low risk investment (safer than investing in the stock market) with a low interest rate that changes on a daily basis. Interest is accrued on a daily basis on your dashboard(but is paid quarterly) and you can liquidate your investment (your principal) at any point in time. I think the minimum investment is 2k or so but to be sure just check their website : axamansard.com.

You'll need to open an account and submit some KYC documents : passport, signature, a form of ID, etc. And fill an account update form with your bank details for withdrawals. You can withdraw part of your investment or all. If you have any more specific questions, you can ask me or you can get the details from their site (FAQs, and their brochure).

Tnx sọ much, dis is really helpful. Wil check their site for more details. Tnx once more.

RaphaellaDD:
No problem. It's a low risk investment (safer than investing in the stock market) with a low interest rate that changes on a daily basis. Interest is accrued on a daily basis on your dashboard(but is paid quarterly) and you can liquidate your investment (your principal) at any point in time. I think the minimum investment is 2k or so but to be sure just check their website : axamansard.com.

You'll need to open an account and submit some KYC documents : passport, signature, a form of ID, etc. And fill an account update form with your bank details for withdrawals. You can withdraw part of your investment or all. If you have any more specific questions, you can ask me or you can get the details from their site (FAQs, and their brochure).

eniorisha:
Good People, help me, how do I begin to do things for myself & stop dreading poverty? or shld I endure a little longer till I get a job however small

I hold a B.Ed English edu. I pray I get a good teaching offer soon. But I'm tired of this lifestyle of poverty mentality I live now

My dear u don’t have poverty mentality. YOU ARE POOR. When finally u have money, believe me, spending it won’t be a problem

Biritiko:
Consider Federal government bonds and savings bond .
Treasury bills
Mutual funds . ETC

How can I get them please