I have this older friend of mine who deliberately trick his kids as to when he is going to be back to the house. most times he tells them he is going to be back 2hrs later than when he is going to back so as to know if they misbehave or if they keep the house clean when he is not around.
The reason I find this wrong is this,
1) Security purposes: I prefer those closest to me to know my whereabout at all times incase of any emergencies.

2) Trust issues: When you are trying to see the wrong side of someone always you are breaking your trust bond.

3)Tensed environment: it creates an atmosphere where you or that person can't be relaxed in.

Personally I prefer being in good terms with everyone and I like everyone around me being happy. I DONT CARE ABOUT WHATEVER HAPPENS IN MY ABSENCE, AS LONG AS WHEN I COME BACK EVERYTHING IS WHERE IT SHOULD BE.

You see what you are looking for. This my friend, whenever he returns at the normal always finds everything in order in his house but whenever he pulls that stunt he would most likely meet the house dirty or the kids playing roughly.

I always ask him "Sir why do you like making yourself unhappy" because to me that is how I see it.

after about a week of telling them this nonsense, smart kids will simply learn and get their misbehaving in check 2 hrs ahead of his supposed arrival.

I see nothing wrong in what your friend does tho.
The trick is for the kids to never know exactly when he'll be back.

missjo:
I see nothing wrong in what your friend does tho.
The trick is for the kids to never know exactly when he'll be back.

i believe there are many things that are wrong in what that person is doing, let alone teaching your kids that your words means NOTHING, that you cant keep with what you are saying, that you dont trust them, that you are unreliable, just to say a few...

missjo:
I see nothing wrong in what your friend does tho.
The trick is for the kids to never know exactly when he'll be back.

But why trying to make them look bad. sometimes it's better to believe people except when they've given you reason not to

MrBrownJay1:
after about a week of telling them this nonsense, smart kids will simply learn and get their misbehaving in check 2 hrs ahead of his supposed arrival.

True dat. the thing dey pain me on their behalf

MrBrownJay1:


i believe there are many things that are wrong in what that person is doing, let alone teaching your kids that your words means NOTHING, that you cant keep with what you are saying, that you dont trust them, that you are unreliable, just to say a few...

I believe you are overthinking it

Kkings11:

But why trying to make them look bad. sometimes it's better to believe people except when they've given you reason not to

I've got just one question to ask, hopefully you answer honestly.

Is the trick working?

MrBrownJay1:
after about a week of telling them this nonsense, smart kids will simply learn and get their misbehaving in check 2 hrs ahead of his supposed arrival.

A smart dad or mom would vary their return time and not keep it steady at 2 hours all the time. Could be an hour, could be 30, 40, 100 minutes.
The idea is for the children to never know exactly when daddy is getting back home, so they are always on their best behavior.

for a short time. Humans are reactive by nature and we pick on subtle cues. I asked one of the kids why they do that and she said he never believes them if they tell him otherwise.
He created an avenue for distrust towards his kids to creep in and now whatever they tell him would be second guessed @missjo

missjo:
I believe you are overthinking it

when it comes to raising children, you MUST overthink because children learn from their parents 1st and foremost... and everything you do or say can/will duplicate on your kids.

missjo:

A smart dad or mom would vary their return time and not keep it steady at 2 hours all the time. Could be an hour, could be 30, 40, 100 minutes.
The idea is for the children to never know exactly when daddy is getting back home, so they are always on their best behavior.

A) not only it is IMMATURE for anyone to leave their kids home alone not knowing when you are coming back, it is also very DANGEROUS.

B) this person (which i wouldnt call "smart" ) will instill the wrong values to his kids... the simple fact that he has NO trust/confidence in his children says a lot about the man OR what he is trying to instill in them.

i can assure you that there are BETTER more efficient mature ways to make sure that your kids do what they are suppose to do and/or aint into misbehaving while you are away... and if that person had raised these kids properly from their infant days, then by the time they are old enough to be left home alone, you would either have good kids that you can TRUST and leave by themselves OR fully well know that you failed in raising them properly, thus CANT leave these misbehaving kids home alone..

MrBrownJay1:


when it comes to raising children, you MUST overthink because children learn from their parents 1st and foremost... and everything you do or say can/will duplicate on your kids.



A) not only it is IMMATURE for anyone to leave their kids home alone not knowing when you are coming back, it is also very DANGEROUS.

B) this person (which i wouldnt call "smart" ) will instill the wrong values to his kids... the simple fact that he has NO trust/confidence in his children says a lot about the man OR what he is trying to instill in them.

i can assure you that there are BETTER more efficient mature ways to make sure that your kids do what they are suppose to do and/or aint into misbehaving while you are away... and if that person had raised these kids properly from their infant days, then by the time they are old enough to be left home alone, you would either have good kids that you can TRUST and leave by themselves OR fully well know that you failed in raising them properly, thus CANT leave these misbehaving kids home alone..

What are the mature ways you have been using to raise your own kids that has made them 100% obedient and NEVER prone to misbehaviour?

Kkings11:
for a short time. Humans are reactive by nature and we pick on subtle cues. I asked one of the kids why they do that and she said he never believes them if they tell him otherwise.
He created an avenue for distrust towards his kids to creep in and now whatever they tell him would be second guessed @missjo

Lol, you asked his daughter questions regarding how her father raises her?

You're either not being honest, or you don't know the meaning of boundaries.

missjo:

Lol, you asked his daughter questions regarding how her father raises her?

You're either not being honest, or you know the meaning of boundaries.

Not how her father raises her, but "why they do some of the things they do" in order to better understand the situation.

missjo:

What are the mature ways you have been using to raise your own kids that has made them 100% obedient and NEVER prone to misbehaviour?

- you cannot raise honest children while you yourself is a dishonest person (or show dishonest traits). BE HONEST WITH YOUR KIDS!!
- you cannot instill trust in them if you yourself are an untrustworthy person. TRUST YOUR KIDS TO BE RIGHT
- from the day they are born, you have to be 110% fully honest with them... and not a deceitful being, and instill in them the beauty of DOING good, and REWARDING good from day one. if they have been misbehaving all this time, then they will surely have a miserable life because all their "fun" privileges of life would have been removed from their lives.
- you MUST take an ACTIVE role (and participate) in their upbringing... not let them be raised by some deluded houseboy/girl (or some other deluded bastards). having a difficult job is NOT an excuse! a person who needs to lie to his kids to see if they are misbehaving is an immature person who did NOT take part in these kids upbringing. if he/she did, they they would automatically know whether they could leave these kids home alone or not. if after 12 yrs you dont know your kids, then you are a useless parent. FACT!!!!!
- in the world we live in today, punishment should be removal of any gadget (ipad/phones etc) no access to a computer (unless to do homework), no video games, no sport, no fun outings, removal from social media entirely, no access to internet, no friends over, no meeting friends after school etc
- if you have shown the right path to your kids and instill such proper notion of "right and wrong" in them (since the day that they were born), you would have a clear idea, by the time they are old enough to be left home alone, if you actually CAN leave them home alone. if/when after 12 good years of RAISING and EDUCATING your kids the best you possibly can, they are still disobedient/misbehaving/lying etc, then there is NO BLOODY way you can leave them home alone! no tricks is gonna fix that and you should just accept that you have FAILED at parenting these kids!

if by 12yrs old, your kids DONT know "right from wrong" OR dont care about "right from wrong", then there is nothing you can possibly do NOW to change that, and you might as well accept the little demons you've raised them to be.

btw...it is possible that some kids may have some emotional issues (ADHD/mild autism bla bla bla) which would be understandable... BUT, if you have multiple children and ALL OF THEM are misbehaving/lying and disregard right from wrong, then again, parents should solely be blamed here.

Hahaha my dad used to do something like this

You just made me remember it...

Well it didnt do us any harm because we would all just be parked in front of the tv, in the same place where he left us

The situation you outlined has its advantages and disadvantages though it never really bothered me

I don't really see what the problems are... When it comes to kids, I don't go about over analysing it because there's no kid that came with a manual while coming into the planet.

Every parent/ family were trying their very best to figure out what works for them.. If the man feels or thinks that tricking them was the best way for them to behave, that's cool.. Just like some parents don't believe in spanking their kids and some do.. it's not as if those who spanks their kids were bad parents. Some has figured it out that spanking works for them.. Though I'm not talking about child abuse..

MrBrownJay1:


- you cannot raise honest children while you yourself is a dishonest person (or show dishonest traits). BE HONEST WITH YOUR KIDS!!
- you cannot instill trust in them if you yourself are an untrustworthy person. TRUST YOUR KIDS TO BE RIGHT
- from the day they are born, you have to be 110% fully honest with them... and not a deceitful being, and instill in them the beauty of DOING good, and REWARDING good from day one. if they have been misbehaving all this time, then they will surely have a miserable life because all their "fun" privileges of life would have been removed from their lives.
- you MUST take an ACTIVE role (and participate) in their upbringing... not let them be raised by some deluded houseboy/girl (or some other deluded bastards). having a difficult job is NOT an excuse! a person who needs to lie to his kids to see if they are misbehaving is an immature person who did NOT take part in these kids upbringing. if he/she did, they they would automatically know whether they could leave these kids home alone or not. if after 12 yrs you dont know your kids, then you are a useless parent. FACT!!!!!
- in the world we live in today, punishment should be removal of any gadget (ipad/phones etc) no access to a computer (unless to do homework), no video games, no sport, no fun outings, removal from social media entirely, no access to internet, no friends over, no meeting friends after school etc
- if you have shown the right path to your kids and instill such proper notion of "right and wrong" in them (since the day that they were born), you would have a clear idea, by the time they are old enough to be left home alone, if you actually CAN leave them home alone. if/when after 12 good years of RAISING and EDUCATING your kids the best you possibly can, they are still disobedient/misbehaving/lying etc, then there is NO BLOODY way you can leave them home alone! no tricks is gonna fix that and you should just accept that you have FAILED at parenting these kids!

if by 12yrs old, your kids DONT know "right from wrong" OR dont care about "right from wrong", then there is nothing you can possibly do NOW to change that, and you might as well accept the little demons you've raised them to be.

btw...it is possible that some kids may have some emotional issues (ADHD/mild autism bla bla bla) which would be understandable... BUT, if you have multiple children and ALL OF THEM are misbehaving/lying and disregard right from wrong, then again, parents should solely be blamed here.

Lol

Haha, my dad did the same thing with us.

Need quality latex waist trainers, contact in signature....