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Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyHelp! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much (5335 Views)

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Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by Contumely: 9:58pm On Nov 19, 2019
wired4comfort:
thank you all for your response.
A little story
My husband gives me 22k every month for the running of the house(food,water,tolietries etc), while I complete the rest according to the budget for that month. the problem is, he thinks the 22k should be enough if I was more carefull. I make a budget every month but he always refuse to look at it, but keeps insisting that 22k is enough for the two of us.
I am yet to get my pay for last month and I have ran out of cash from the 22k. He is upset and is asking what I did with the money.
You are doing well darling.

I can detect sincerity here.

You aren't spending too much. I spent more than 35k monthly as a student those years. I made bulk of the money myself though.

I guess he doesn't earn much too. That's why he is bothered.

Wish you well
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by faithfull18(f): 10:34pm On Nov 19, 2019
Fountainofyouth:
Pls enlighten us, what is happening?
You don't know too huh
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by crackhaus: 10:36pm On Nov 19, 2019
wired4comfort:
thank you all for your response.
A little story
My husband gives me 22k every month for the running of the house(food,water,tolietries etc), while I complete the rest according to the budget for that month. the problem is, he thinks the 22k should be enough if I was more carefull. I make a budget every month but he always refuse to look at it, but keeps insisting that 22k is enough for the two of us.
I am yet to get my pay for last month and I have ran out of cash from the 22k. He is upset and is asking what I did with the money.
Tell him what you did with the money na, is it everything that will cause issues with you women? cheesy

Break it down for him and if he remains dissatisfied, cajole him into coming up with a more suitable plan to spend less...then you both give it a month trial and see what happens.
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by Baldwretch: 10:56pm On Nov 19, 2019
wired4comfort:
I need a neutral person's opinion on this.
I spend between 30-35k every other month on food and other consumables. my husband thinks it's too much because it's just the two of us.
Do you think it's too much?
pls offer tips on how to spend less.
thanks
Your username though, haha. I don't think 30-35k is too much. I spend close to that in a month. I mean, that's just 1k a day.

Don't argue with him, ask him to get the foodstuff and consumables himself.
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by primeache: 11:02pm On Nov 19, 2019
You both should.come.up with bulk.purchase of major items.
It may only affects a month, but last and saves longer, but then, don't get generous with it.
Get a bag of rice, a 10kg semi, wheat, half bag Harri etc.
Now imagine how ling it would take to finish the bag of rice.

Some.of those.commenting here are living in a percentage of that, and free food they get from parties and visitations.


wired4comfort:
thank you all for your response.
A little story
My husband gives me 22k every month for the running of the house(food,water,tolietries etc), while I complete the rest according to the budget for that month. the problem is, he thinks the 22k should be enough if I was more carefull. I make a budget every month but he always refuse to look at it, but keeps insisting that 22k is enough for the two of us.
I am yet to get my pay for last month and I have ran out of cash from the 22k. He is upset and is asking what I did with the money.
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by midnighter(f): 11:33pm On Nov 19, 2019
primeache:
You both should.come.up with bulk.purchase of major items.
It may only affects a month, but last and saves longer, but then, don't get generous with it.
Get a bag of rice, a 10kg semi, wheat, half bag Harri etc.
Now imagine how ling it would take to finish the bag of rice.
Yes. Buying small amounts instead of in bulk wastes more money than most people think. I have always preferred buying in bulk plus its much less stressful
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by davillian(m): 11:46pm On Nov 19, 2019
the first time you were given 30k for food stuff it won't be enough because the kitchen was probably empty..
But there is no how you would empty the kitchen without something's remaining...
Which means the same 30k would do more than the previous 30k....
Aunty find one local market enter very early in the morning
As in were the goods de land from every part of the countries you would fill up a keke with food stuff...
Find out were retailers buys market from whole seller in your area....
CU's if we leave these women of these days way no like stress they no mind enter shop rite go buy food stuffs...
And still be saying the money ain't enough...
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by bukkysam(f): 12:19am On Nov 20, 2019
wired4comfort:
I need a neutral person's opinion on this.
I spend between 30-35k every other month on food and other consumables. my husband thinks it's too much because it's just the two of us.
Do you think it's too much?
pls offer tips on how to spend less.
thanks
Ah you carry your matter com nairaland make dey scatter your marriage abi?
Most of them are poorer than church rat, many people pricing my footwear here hmmmm. They are looking for quality footwear at the rate of #2500-3000, but you will see them forming dangote here online. Call your man and sit him down you people should reason together. Monthly Take home for some of them here is not upto that amount. Be wise be wise be wise..................
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by Biingoo: 1:01am On Nov 20, 2019
That's way too much. Op you must be extravagant. 35k on groceries per month? Spit!
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by fineboynl(m): 1:28am On Nov 20, 2019
for feeding 30 would carry me for a year. you are wasteful on feeding. it's simple.

mind you 100k can't carry me for a month due to my lifestyle and expense. but for only feeding I can use 10k it up to 10 a months.
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by rule(m): 5:26am On Nov 20, 2019
that mean my wife it really trying o,I give her 45k monthly to care for family of five with out issue.
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by Gloriagee(f): 6:02am On Nov 20, 2019
Gbammest

MrBrownJay1:
if the wifey is doing her best to manage money-wise and hubby isnt happy about her spending then let him show her exactly how he can manage it himself. its not like wifey is spending more ON PURPOSE is it?! let them both go and do the shopping on a weekend so he can show her.... no big deal here.

how do you think wife feels when she tries her best to spend as little as possible but hubby says she spends too much?
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by Gloriagee(f): 6:09am On Nov 20, 2019
Thank you for your refreshing honesty...

nnamdibig:
No matter how you look at it, 30-35k is not too much for two adults that eats breakfast, lunch and dinner with meat. But know that there is always room for improvement.
Even someone living in states like Benue and Taraba where food stuffs are cheap will just be ok with 30k.

Mind you when we say 30k for food, I'm sure madam is also expected to by toiletries from there too.
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by Gloriagee(f): 6:13am On Nov 20, 2019
@op - it all depends on your combined earnings. Its possible your husband has budgeted that amount whilst making provisions for rent, investment, health care etc. Be open minded bout his feedback to see if there are any cheaper options. Remember that the costs will increase with kids - baby food, diapers, school fees etc. Best of luck
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by ImaIma1(f): 6:56am On Nov 20, 2019
wired4comfort:
I need a neutral person's opinion on this.
I spend between 30-35k every other month on food and other consumables. my husband thinks it's too much because it's just the two of us.
Do you think it's too much?
pls offer tips on how to spend less.
thanks
He says you are spending too much. No problem.

For me, I don't like to complain, nag, argue about things like this. Take the 22k and buy what it can. Do not exceed that amount. Reduce the meat, fish, etc. Cut meat smaller (half the current size). Buy a much cheaper rice probably the "localest" one with plenty stones. If he complains about stones, tell him you had to buy a cheaper rice and you spent a long time trying to pick out the stones.

Eliminate or cut down on the particular things he likes especially if a cheaper alternative can be used.

Buy half of the milk, tea, beverages you buy. Honey beans is more expensive, buy olotu or brown beans. Don't buy anything that is not essential. Cut out all the extras. Don't spend beyond 22k. If everything finishes, you know your answer.

That's usually my approach in some situations instead of arguing or explaining. Do as he says and use only 22k. Don't fight or try to prove anything.
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by Ginaz(f): 1:53pm On Nov 20, 2019
I don’t know but I always have the gift of managing my resources very well. I can hold 1k for a week so far there is foodstuff at home and be able to make use of Till it expires.

I can manage , plan, make use of what I have to get what I want till the main time . It’s a gift I took from my mom. My mom would go to the market , buy bag of rice , bag of garri, soaps for washing , groundnut oil, milk and milo at great quantity , red oil , maggi, salt . Everything we have to use .

These items take time to run out cos they are in abundance and cheaply bought too. So we don’t have to restock every month thereby saving money that should have been used restocking to simply run other things in the house .

O.p I suggest you should buy things in bulks and you can go to villages too to get them cheaply. My mom gets garri from the village .

Try to manage . Account for every drop of money . It is not being stingy or poverty nonsense they say. Things are hard , you shouldn’t ’t make it harder that’s why you should learn to plan . That 30k is enough for two people if I should be honest .
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by Bola146(f): 2:47pm On Nov 20, 2019
it's depends on how much you consume every month, as for me.. it's not much
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by Nobody: 3:20pm On Nov 20, 2019
Lady, since u are looking for suggestions, let me suggest some stuffs married women do to balance stuffs in the home.

U don't have a kid yet, remember?

In every home, a good deep freezer and generator is needed bc of the power situation in Nigeria.

If u have a good and working freezer, use some of the bulk money for one month and enter abattoir. Buy meat and divide into portions enough for one pot of soup or stew.
Next times, take out of the money and buy bag of rice, half bag of beans( ask on how u can preserve it), garri etc.
Go to vegetable market with your husband and buy a basket of tomatoes during tomatoe season( Dec to feb), buy lots of garlic, ginger and onions. Wash and boil the tomatoes to a boiling points. Allow to cool. The water will separate and add the rest and grind( it's quite a tedious work but u will reap the benefit later). Now use polyethene to divide them accordingly as u will want to use them.
U can grind dry pepper and put inside container. U will need that the day u don't have fresh pepper.
Tell your people to send fresh red oil to u if u don't know how to buy fresh one. Like two gallons. Get big g oil too.

I won't tell u to buy yam and stock as it's perishable. U buy your stock cubes and store in dry place. Buy crayfish from those that sell in bags( like 1 painter) take home and remove the chaff and grind.

U can even buy spagetti in carton.

By the time u finish doing this, I tell u, in subsequent months, even if your husband is giving u 22k for feeding in a month, u will still save up to half of it.

When u sit down to do the mathematics, u will find out that a big pot of soup will cost you a very small amount of money and any time u are shopping, u simply shop for less( I hate shopping especially for food stuffs).

This is the secret my dear, we learnt this from our parents.
I don't buy things one one.i always buy in bulk unless things like fruits and veggies. There is always so much food of different types in the house no matter who is visiting and this has been my lifestyle since uni days.

Don't ever allow stuffs like this to cause quarrel between u two. Just use your sixth sense.
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by Nobody: 3:22pm On Nov 20, 2019
That money is not too much but then it all depends on some factors. Where do you reside? Some states have cheaper food stuff. How many times do you guys eat a day at home? Maybe you and hubby only eat dinner and you buy your own food separately at work. Are you heavy eaters etc?
I'm beginning to think I'm quite wasteful. I take my breakfast to work (made at home) and still end up spending 1k everyday on lunch, that's like 22k a month for just lunch alone. Madam, I salute you.
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by yeyeosoronga: 3:36pm On Nov 20, 2019
Fountainofyouth:
So 30-35k household spending is too much according to a man? In this day and age? Gawd.... Prince of peace..... Help me father..... so that I won't be told something like this in my lifetime.....
That is minimum wage for some people. If the household income is 100k from both of them, 35K may be too much because there are other expenses like rent, bills. Children will also soon be brought into the equation.
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by Influential101: 4:27pm On Nov 20, 2019
rule:
that mean my wife it really trying o,I give her 45k monthly to care for family of five with out issue.
It will probably tell on the quality of food and stuffs you use...

Anyone can manage any amount of money, it's just quality that will be impacted..

Op, I suggest you cook in bulk and stock in the freezer, buy lesser quality stuffs and in bulks, then be prudent in the use of household resources..all the best
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by wired4comfort(op): 4:31pm On Nov 20, 2019
Thank you so much ma'am, your suggestions are really helpfull.

sassysure:
Lady, since u are looking for suggestions, let me suggest some stuffs married women do to balance stuffs in the home.

U don't have a kid yet, remember?

In every home, a good deep freezer and generator is needed bc of the power situation in Nigeria.

If u have a good and working freezer, use some of the bulk money for one month and enter abattoir. Buy meat and divide into portions enough for one pot of soup or stew.
Next times, take out of the money and buy bag of rice, half bag of beans( ask on how u can preserve it), garri etc.
Go to vegetable market with your husband and buy a basket of tomatoes during tomatoe season( Dec to feb), buy lots of garlic, ginger and onions. Wash and boil the tomatoes to a boiling points. Allow to cool. The water will separate and add the rest and grind( it's quite a tedious work but u will reap the benefit later). Now use polyethene to divide them accordingly as u will want to use them.
U can grind dry pepper and put inside container. U will need that the day u don't have fresh pepper.
Tell your people to send fresh red oil to u if u don't know how to buy fresh one. Like two gallons. Get big g oil too.

I won't tell u to buy yam and stock as it's perishable. U buy your stock cubes and store in dry place. Buy crayfish from those that sell in bags( like 1 painter) take home and remove the chaff and grind.

U can even buy spagetti in carton.

By the time u finish doing this, I tell u, in subsequent months, even if your husband is giving u 22k for feeding in a month, u will still save up to half of it.

When u sit down to do the mathematics, u will find out that a big pot of soup will cost you a very small amount of money and any time u are shopping, u simply shop for less( I hate shopping especially for food stuffs).

This is the secret my dear, we learnt this from our parents.
I don't buy things one one.i always buy in bulk unless things like fruits and veggies. There is always so much food of different types in the house no matter who is visiting and this has been my lifestyle since uni days.

Don't ever allow stuffs like this to cause quarrel between u two. Just use your sixth sense.
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by Nobody: 4:41pm On Nov 20, 2019
It's not too much. But you can downsize if he insists.
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by ThothHermes: 5:28pm On Nov 20, 2019
maryjames9:
Nigerians. Always forming. I won't be surprised if those people saying the money is too small, the money is not even enough bullshit are actually broke Ass people who will find it hard to spend 500 naira on food with Mama Put.

@ OP, do you complement the man! I mean, how much do you bring to the table at the end of the month? Can you personally currently afford right now to spend 35k of your hard earned money on food stuffs considering the fact that many family earn less than that monthly.

If you earn more than 35k and you bring more than that to the table at the end of the month and you know you can afford to spend 35k on monthly feeding by yourself without any input from your husband, then by all means, spend the money. If however the answer is no, then sorry to say, you spend damn too much.
Lol.
It's the internet. What do you expect?
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by SirVintageCock: 6:25pm On Nov 20, 2019
MrBrownJay1:
bro...you are focusing on the wrong issue here. the man gives 22k (aka what he can) and the babe is suppose to top it with her own (she has no problem with that, so why should you?). i guess the remaining money (he has) is for rent and/or transport etc. as they are BOTH working, he gave his share and she should have brought hers, but sadly this month her salary is late... so the issue should have simply been to ask for hubby to advance her the money and she will pay him back later, but sadly, hubby has an issue with her speeding habits from the get go.

the important question IS: how much does he make every month that you would WRONGLY ASSUME that he can afford more?!?!?
I am not assuming anything at all. I am just focusing on the current effect of the economy on average Nigerian household.
I am not blaming the man nor the woman..... I am stating my opinion that 22k or 35k per month for two grown ass adults is too poor. Caveat---depending on the state or city of abode. Anybody managing such should not be chastitised but encouraged.
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by lilyheaven: 6:28pm On Nov 20, 2019
Start buying cheap things .
Buy
White garri, it is cheaper,
Don't cook egusi soup, egusi is costly,
Buy rotten tomatoes, fresh strong ones are costly,
Buy white beans,
Don't buy tissue paper, he can use water to clean after use.

If you want to learn more, ask me.
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by MrBrownJay1(m): 6:35pm On Nov 20, 2019
SirVintageCock:
I am not assuming anything at all. I am just focusing on the current effect of the economy on average Nigerian household.
I am not blaming the man nor the woman..... I am stating my opinion that 22k or 35k per month for two grown ass adults is too poor. Caveat---depending on the state or city of abode. Anybody managing such should not be chastitised but encouraged.
but there are countless of people out there who "only" have the minimum wage to survive... thus saying that 2 adults (on such minimum wage) spending 30/35k on food is too little, is incorrect. if thats what they can afford then thats what is best for them.

now, we all know that there are many out there that would tell you that even 100K monthly aint enough for feeding "one person" (let alone a couple)... and they wouldnt be wrong as its all down to individuals. even if the above woman was making 30k herself, spending 30k on food while you both generate less than 100K is imho too much....assuming that they are even making 100k (combined salaries), IMHO spending 30% of that on food would be too much.
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by tabithababy(f): 7:45pm On Nov 20, 2019
lilyheaven:
Start buying cheap things .
Buy
White garri, it is cheaper,
Don't cook egusi soup, egusi is costly,
Buy rotten tomatoes, fresh strong ones are costly,
Buy white beans,
Don't buy tissue paper, he can use water to clean after use.

If you want to learn more, ask me.
.


shocked
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by lahizak: 9:20pm On Nov 20, 2019
wired4comfort:
I need a neutral person's opinion on this.
I spend between 30-35k every other month on food and other consumables. my husband thinks it's too much because it's just the two of us.
Do you think it's too much?
pls offer tips on how to spend less.
thanks
A quick advice. 35k is a day feedin money 4 sum houses and dat same 35k is 6months feedin allowance 4 sum other houses. What im saying in essence is dat what u spend on fud is determined by ur income. No mpney is too big or too small 4 feeding allowance. A friend earn 15k and he still feed his wife and child. I blive u guys are young couple, so talk to ur hubby, and be sincere to urself, dere and den u will find ur answer
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by yeyeosoronga: 10:33pm On Nov 20, 2019
rule:
that mean my wife it really trying o,I give her 45k monthly to care for family of five with out issue.
If she works, she probably adds her own money to it.
Re: Help! My Husband Thinks I Spend Too Much by LadySarah: 11:20pm On Nov 20, 2019
yeyeosoronga:
If she works, she probably adds her own money to it.
Dont mind him
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