₦airaland Forum

Depressed101:
When I was a child. I once asked my mother what killed old Roger and why he had an orange tree planted over his grave in our nursery rhythm book.

Her reply:
Old Roger ate orange and swallowed the seed, so the orange tree grew out of his Belle and caused him to die.

I believed it with all my heart, and I never swallowed an orange seed upto this day, in fact I hate orange.. But it was all a lie.

Another one
I ask my mother a series of questions from who born God, to how did you a baby inside your tummy (that time she was pregnant with our last born).

Her reply;
God put it in there.

I asked When.

She replied
At night when everyone is asleep.

I grew up to argue with my friends that you can't get pregnant from fxcking you can imagine how much I hold her words. (I think parents should be careful what they tell their kids).

It was my father who called me in when I was 13-14 or so to tell me that I was now man. That my privk was able to bring forth a baby if it ever makes contact with a girls virginal..


Another one and the funniest of them all.

My mum used to hide to eat stuffs at night, stuffs like suya/pepper soup /tea/malt and milk.

Every morning we will wake up and see plates that we didn't use yesternight. It kept happening until one day, i planned it with my junior sister to find out who is giving us overload of dishes to wash every morning. The plan was to pretend that we are asleep.

I think the time should be 11am when started hearing kpokoro kpokoro in the kitchen

My father will buy those stuffs for her a d goto sleep, I think she was pregnant those periods and was sending my father messages upandan at night (poor man ). You all those pregnancy behaviors
.

So I and my sister sneeked upon my mother, enjoying herself at the front verandah malt milk suya you name it . This woman was enjoying while my father was crashing in bed probably tired fr work and running errands .

" we catch you" I chorused with my sister.
My mother startled alil bit. And started...

Oooooh who wake this children ah...
She makes move to hide the stuffs.
But it was too late we've seen it all.

Mummy we want some... We said sheepishly..
At this point she resorted to Igbo and said

(pls pardon my Igbo)
Ngwa nu, make una go backyard and find "Omuru Nwa Erihi iye" (mother wey nor fit eat in peace)..
If you find her I will give you malt and milk..

Stupid kids, we didn't hear Igbo, so we went to the back yard to look for "Omuru Nwa Erihi iye".

We came back and asked her how the thing looked like, she said it looked like a bird that it's at the back yard that we should hurry to find it before the milk finishes.

Ba3 lo to be continued add yours

Depressed101:
Hey maynation, good morning. I saw your mention yester night. But I couldnt reply because I was banned by anti-spam bot. (idk why you removed it this morning tho).

My last entry was removed by the same anti-spam bot.. This happens all the time, seun should make a list of censored words biko.

Anyway thank you for reading through my top secrets (obviously).. I will bring back the last entry when the second ban expires after editing it.
Gracias

Davash222:
My mum once told me that Education is the key.

Davash222:
My mum once told me that Education is the key.

Cossybob:
She said taking Mango fruits immediately after taking garri is poisonous...

I don't want to try that sh*t even when I know it's not true