Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore - Family (2)

Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore (5485 Views)

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by CHoccolaTE: 7:17am On Dec 07, 2019

cococandy:
So people can just decide to physically abuse others because they are going through stuff?

Nairaland men lack common sense

Look at how they are justifying a man beating his wife because he is going through hard times
If a woman is the one hitting her husband and slapping him whenever she is angry you will see them foaming in the mouth and calling her insultive names and asking why can't she solve her problems instead of frustrating her husband.

10 Likes

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by Yustash001(m): 7:25am On Dec 07, 2019

this one that you write as if have no fault at all...
if your husband is chanced to write about you too..he'll list your faults also and that's why sometimes it's add to contribute to family issues like this

even yoruba adage says..."agba ejo enikan da agba oshikani"

1 Like

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by ImaIma1(f): 7:28am On Dec 07, 2019

He's an insecure big baby. Hurting you and mistreating you to assert power and authority over you and make himself feel good. He's manipulating you emotionally. These kind of men get fulfilment when they put others on the edge; making them run helter skelter to please them. It massages and pumps his ego.

How can he hit you? Especially with a pregnancy. That man is not the type you sacrifice anything for. Because he doesn't care about your wellbeing and doesn't have your interest at heart. Please stop bothering yourself about him. Leave him to continue his nonsense. And you should consider leaving if he doesn't change for the sake of your wellbeing and that of your baby.

Please don't condone rubbish. This is not how marriage should be; don't let anyone deceive you. The man is not supposed to be a dictator, an idiot or a principality against your happiness. If he makes your life more difficult, he's not acting like a husband.

4 Likes

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by olasaad(f): 7:31am On Dec 07, 2019

bossinblack:
How many children do you people have?

2 Likes

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by ImaIma1(f): 7:39am On Dec 07, 2019

Prec1ous:
I am so sorry about what you are going through, especially the violence. Which is enough for you to leave but you have decided otherwise.

Since, you want to get his love back back, then the problem is about what you have refused see. You are still acting on the surface. Behave live a therapist.

But...

Your husband is going through something which you are unaware of. Something is bugging him and being egoistic, he doesn't want to talk but wants you to know and empathize. Weird right?

The reason why he is venting on you is because it is just you he has. But because he is yet to master his problem, this is the reason for his haphazard behavior.

When last did you sit him down and ask about his finance, career, goals, aspirations?

Your husband needs you to talk to him and all those talks about respect from him is just to summarize his defensiveness.

Your husband is going through something, reach into his heart. He loves you you and that other wife talk is a big bluff. He only wants you to step up. Reach out to him.

No man has the right to treat his wife that way regardless of what he is going through. So it's ok to beat and mistreat his wife; especially a pregnant one because he is going through something?

Please don't promote nonsense. That is foolishness and selfishness. A man that acts that way is irresponsible and thoughtless and should not be indulged. Reach into his heart indeed! If he cannot reach into his heart himself and give himself sense, he should go back and stay with his mother because he's not worthy to be called a man.

5 Likes

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by ImaIma1(f): 7:42am On Dec 07, 2019

liberalchick:
I hear you, so because he is going through something, she should get hit enough to cause a miscarriage. What kind of marriage is that? Is that not the point of marriage, together as one. If you so much hate being vulnerable sharing your problems with your spouse enough to physically abuse them then you shouldn’t be in the union.

Going through something kill him dia!!

3 Likes

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by Nobody: 7:50am On Dec 07, 2019

Habby121:
I'm pregnant now but it's still very young..i'm 9 weeks gone, he Hurt me anytime I try to apologize to him, he hits and pushes me but I now try to avoid him because I don't want another miscarriage ..he even hit me yesterday because I tried waking him up, he said I shouted at him, and I'm disrespectful, he even went to bed without talking to me.

Another miscarriage?? See you have to take your life and happiness into your own hands. Stop apologizing, simply lock up. The man is probably frustrated, so I'll advise you simply quit the jokes and plays that irritates him.. For ur baby's sake. Just know a baby will tie you down there but perhaps the baby will change him lipsrsealed

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by Prec1ous(m): 8:01am On Dec 07, 2019

ImaIma1:
No man has the right to treat his wife that way regardless of what he is going through. So it's ok to beat and mistreat his wife; especially a pregnant one because he is going through something?

Please don't promote nonsense. That is foolishness and selfishness. A man that acts that way is irresponsible and thoughtless and should not be indulged. Reach into his heart indeed! If he cannot reach into his heart himself and give himself sense, he should go back and stay with his mother because he's not worthy to be called a man.

Is it that you people don't read completely or your oestrogen rush makes you forget details and pick the one that suits you?

I started my post by condemning violence but my advise is based on one premise:

THIS WOMAN SAYS SHE WANTS TO SAVE HER MARRIAGE. IF SHE WANTS TO LEAVE DUE TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, WE ARE NOT THE ONES TO TELL HER TO.

She knows what she want and it is to get her husband to his best behavior and that is what my comment is about.

If someone wants to kill you, will you wait for faceless people online to tell you to run?

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by bukatyne(f): 8:04am On Dec 07, 2019

Habby121:
I'm pregnant now but it's still very young..i'm 9 weeks gone, he Hurt me anytime I try to apologize to him, he hits and pushes me but I now try to avoid him because I don't want another miscarriage ..he even hit me yesterday because I tried waking him up, he said I shouted at him, and I'm disrespectful, he even went to bed without talking to me.

Your husband hurts you anytime you try to apologize to him.

Apologize for what exactly?

Habby121:
I have tried talking to him but he always Say's I'm talking rubbish and if i don't have anything to say I should look for ways to make my marriage work and stop nagging

This is interesting especially the bolded

Habby121:
This started two months ago he wasn't like this

So your husband of 6yrs suddenly thinks you are not making your marriage work anymore.

Madam, tell us the full story if you genuinely want an holistic advice.

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by Prec1ous(m): 8:04am On Dec 07, 2019

Eddygourdo:
madam why can't you respect yourself and stop rocking the boat in your marriage. Stop that play that annoys and irks him, stop those behaviors that don't foster peace in your home. Are you that immature to play with your marriage? What is wrong with some of us and victim mentality.
Comparing reactions to perceived hurt like little kids.

You both might be married, but you are still two different people who need understanding to cope and live. Understand now that you should behave in ways that foster peace and accord in your home and not otherwise under any guise of "play" or "romance"

Once you get mature and start behaving mature like someone who knows this marriage has to work, you will see things improve in your home and maybe then your immature husband will also take cue and behave himself.

This is exactly what I am saying. I don't know why men and women see things differently.

This woman is also a motivator to her husband actions, she will not say the truth.

This is why instead of her to leave the abusive marriage, she is trying to save it. Because, she knows the man is not like that previously.

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by Prec1ous(m): 8:08am On Dec 07, 2019

AwkaetitiBabe:
Another miscarriage?? See you have to take your life and happiness into your own hands. Stop apologizing, simply lock up. The man is probably frustrated, so I'll advise you simply quit the jokes and plays that irritates him.. For ur baby's sake. Just know a baby will tie you down there but perhaps the baby will change him

You are one lady who has made sense so far. The man is frustrated already but something she is doing is aggravating him and turning him to a devil.

This does not absolve the man but like you said, she can lock or leave, but for her to be posting here, she is not ready to leave so she should take your opinion to the letter.

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by Prec1ous(m): 8:11am On Dec 07, 2019

bukatyne:
Your husband hurts you anytime you try to apologize to him.

Apologize for what exactly?

This is interesting especially the bolded

So your husband of 6yrs suddenly thinks you are not making your marriage work anymore.

Madam, tell us the full story if you genuinely want an holistic advice.

Smart woman, I already stated that this lady is hiding too many facts. How will someone hurt you for apologizing and waking them up.

I guess she is becoming an irritant and the husband is totally immature too.

Whichever the case, her info is incomplete!

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by Stillthebest: 8:20am On Dec 07, 2019

Your write up shows that you are a good woman. Remain good or try to be better than yesterday to him. Perform your duties. Avoid any physical abuse in all cases and then lastly let him be for now be attentive to him when he is ready to talk to you. Sooner his brain will be reset.
Above is for if you want your marriage by fire by force but if otherwise, separation for now is the solution. Separation doesn't mean divorce!

1 Like

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by yeyeosoronga: 8:34am On Dec 07, 2019

Habby121:
I'm pregnant now but it's still very young..i'm 9 weeks gone, he Hurt me anytime I try to apologize to him, he hits and pushes me but I now try to avoid him because I don't want another miscarriage ..he even hit me yesterday because I tried waking him up, he said I shouted at him, and I'm disrespectful, he even went to bed without talking to me.

I hope you don't lose your life through the hands of your husband.
You have a business, kindly face it squarely. He has continuously shown that you mean nothing to him. Your problem is more psychological where you think you deserve to be abused.
Until you get that inner strength to stand boldly that you deserve better, sorry remains your case.
Why not inform your brothers of what you are going through as per the beatings? Perhaps they can intervene in your matter, and remove you from the trouble you have put yourself in. I'm almost sure your family was against your marriage.
Anyway, write the pros and cons of being married to the man and see if it's even worth it at the end of the day, or he is even setting you back in life.
Anytime he hits you, start going to the police to report, the social services/domestic abuse centres in your area, hospital to treat yourself and document all these things. You will need it in future.

3 Likes

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by uboma(m): 8:36am On Dec 07, 2019

Habby121:
No I'm not...I even try to help out at home with my own little money.. I'm the only daughter of my parents and I have 6 brothers so they opened a business for me after I got married, he is unemployed but he trys to hustle like every other man

Why did you accept to marry someone who has no regular job or with vocational skills set which he can put to use to generate income to take care of himself and you?

He is taking out his frustration on you. Imagine a man who is barely fit to take care of his basic needs threatening to marry a second wife.

4 Likes

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by ImaIma1(f): 8:53am On Dec 07, 2019*

Prec1ous:
Is it that you people don't read completely or your oestrogen rush makes you forget details and pick the one that suits you?

I started my post by condemning violence but my advise is based on one premise:

THIS WOMAN SAYS SHE WANTS TO SAVE HER MARRIAGE. IF SHE WANTS TO LEAVE DUE TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, WE ARE NOT THE ONES TO TELL HER TO.

She knows what she want and it is to get her husband to his best behavior and that is what my comment is about.

If someone wants to kill you, will you wait for faceless people online to tell you to run?

Sorry. Your excuse about him hurting her because he is going through something seemed to cancel what you said initially

1 Like

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by babythug(f): 8:54am On Dec 07, 2019

@Habby121

Such a shame you’ve found yourself in this king of situation especially at this time but it is what it is.

From my experience and based on what you’ve penned down I deduce the following- something or someone has caused a switch in emotions and behaviour of your husband . For now you may wanna rise above it and focus on your own well being.

I also a sense an extreme “see finish” situation.

Since you’re not thinking of an exit I advice you to repackage yourself and focus on your well being for now.

Some of the things you can immediately do is to comport yourself better around him. Be semi formal if necessary avoid petty discussions that could lead to a conflict.

Work on looking as presentable as you can all the time! Good appearance has a way of boosting one’s confidence even if you’re a house wife

Ensure the home is kept tidy and meals are on time and presentable as you can manage within your means.

Focus your energy on work, the baby on the way and any other stuff you can think of. Even gardening or reading can be a tension relief .

Begin to save independently of him so that should things take a turn for the worst you’re not completely stranded.

Remember tough times don’t last but tough people do

I wish you good luck

1 Like

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by Nobody: 8:54am On Dec 07, 2019

Prec1ous:
I am so sorry about what you are going through, especially the violence. Which is enough for you to leave but you have decided otherwise.

Since, you want to get his love back back, then the problem is about what you have refused see. You are still acting on the surface. Behave live a therapist.

But...

Your husband is going through something which you are unaware of. Something is bugging him and being egoistic, he doesn't want to talk but wants you to know and empathize. Weird right?

The reason why he is venting on you is because it is just you he has. But because he is yet to master his problem, this is the reason for his haphazard behavior.

When last did you sit him down and ask about his finance, career, goals, aspirations?

Your husband needs you to talk to him and all those talks about respect from him is just to summarize his defensiveness.

Your husband is going through something, reach into his heart. He loves you you and that other wife talk is a big bluff. He only wants you to step up. Reach out to him.

You are blaming the victim and putting a halo over the accused head
Continuu angry

Dear OP, you need to first of all, learn to love yourself
No matter how long this takes, do it (Google it)
When you learn whatever lesson for you there? You will know what to do
You will learn how to negotiate respect and love for your person
You will learn exactly how to make your marriage work, or to walk away as the case may be
Good luck
Pay heed to Katier00 etc
Some people secretly enjoy being abused shaa so I probably know nothing here lipsrsealed

3 Likes

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by jesmond3945: 9:03am On Dec 07, 2019

Habby121:
I feel so frustrated.. I have been trying to write about how I feel, I feel like giving up and leave this world of pain and hate.. He complains about everything, he says I'm disrespectful simply because I like to play with him, he insults me and when he apologizes I forgive him, but any slight mistake from me always end up in a very bad experience, he hit and pushes me anytime I try to apologize to him, he threatens to leave me anytime I offend him... He offends me often but I try to overlook it.. But when I offend him he becomes so aggressive that when I try to apologize to him he always hurt me..I feel like our relationship is going south because I feel emotionally depressed with the way he treats me, I have been through a lot of things for him..I even try to please him even though I'm displeased..I don't know why I'm always the bad person, people I love and care for always end up hurting me no matter how hard I try to please them.. I feel I don't matter and I'm not capable of been loved..he says I love to quarell but he doesn't know what I pass through everyday with the way he treats me, he feels I disrespects him, but I swear I don't disrespect or mean to disrespect him..he thinks he is perfect and he doesn't hurt me, I'm always the person offending him..my heart is so heavy I don't know what else to say.. I pray to be a better person and I also pray for him no matter what he does to me..His pride and ego makes him do inhumane things to me..I need matured advice please

your man get another babe.
solution to your problem; seal your emotions. do your duty as wife but love yourself more. summary behave like the british.

1 Like

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by Nobody: 9:13am On Dec 07, 2019

Habby121:
I feel so frustrated.. I have been trying to write about how I feel, I feel like giving up and leave this world of pain and hate.. He complains about everything, he says I'm disrespectful simply because I like to play with him, he insults me and when he apologizes I forgive him, but any slight mistake from me always end up in a very bad experience, he hit and pushes me anytime I try to apologize to him, he threatens to leave me anytime I offend him... He offends me often but I try to overlook it.. But when I offend him he becomes so aggressive that when I try to apologize to him he always hurt me..I feel like our relationship is going south because I feel emotionally depressed with the way he treats me, I have been through a lot of things for him..I even try to please him even though I'm displeased..I don't know why I'm always the bad person, people I love and care for always end up hurting me no matter how hard I try to please them.. I feel I don't matter and I'm not capable of been loved..he says I love to quarell but he doesn't know what I pass through everyday with the way he treats me, he feels I disrespects him, but I swear I don't disrespect or mean to disrespect him..he thinks he is perfect and he doesn't hurt me, I'm always the person offending him..my heart is so heavy I don't know what else to say.. I pray to be a better person and I also pray for him no matter what he does to me..His pride and ego makes him do inhumane things to me..I need matured advice please

Learn to please yourself and not others. People don't respect people pleasers because people pleasers don't respect themselves.

4 Likes

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by CHoccolaTE: 9:23am On Dec 07, 2019

Mindfulness:
Learn to please yourself and not others. People don't respect people pleasers because people pleasers don't respect themselves.

That's one thing Nigerian women need to learn, instead of swallowing all sorts of nonsense in the name of submission.

Submission even to a useless man that contributes nothing to the home.

8 Likes

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by bukatyne(f): 10:08am On Dec 07, 2019

I knew there was more to this story.

@OP, whatever you are looking for, may you find it.

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by uboma(m): 10:11am On Dec 07, 2019

CHoccolaTE:
That's one thing Nigerian women need to learn, instead of swallowing all sorts of nonsense in the name of submission.

Submission even to a useless man that contributes nothing to the home.

I concur with you.

If he was employed in the past or had a steady flow of income even if little but lost the job or means of livelihood, it is understandable.

I blame the op for marrying an irresponsible man.

2 Likes

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by uboma(m): 10:17am On Dec 07, 2019

Wow!

The op has deactivated her handle.

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by davillian(m): 10:21am On Dec 07, 2019

If you noticed these things when you guys were dating and you still went ahead to marry him
Then you deserve what you are getting.

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by CHoccolaTE: 10:54am On Dec 07, 2019

uboma:
Wow!

The op has deactivated her handle.

Too bad,

@Op accept my sympathies, may God restore peace and love in your marriage amen.

5 Likes

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by uboma(m): 10:56am On Dec 07, 2019

CHoccolaTE:
Too bad,

@Op accept my sympathies, may God restore peace and love in your marriage amen.

Amen.

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by Ishilove: 12:27pm On Dec 07, 2019

Yustash001:
this one that you write as if have no fault at all...
if your husband is chanced to write about you too..he'll list your faults also and that's why sometimes it's add to contribute to family issues like this

even yoruba adage says..."agba ejo enikan da agba oshikani"

And does that justify you hitting a pregnant woman?

2 Likes

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by cococandy(f): 1:20pm On Dec 07, 2019*

All these “new handle, tells story, deactivate handle“.
Sigh.
I may not be too off if I guess the poster isn’t even married at all or might even be a boy.
Always looking for reactions from posters.

Anyway each message posted here was valid so I guess real folks with real issues can draw from it if they may.

3 Likes

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by sisisioge: 2:01pm On Dec 07, 2019

Wowzerful! It is well o...even in the well.

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by Yustash001(m): 2:03pm On Dec 07, 2019

Ishilove:
And does that justify you hitting a pregnant woman?

Oh. I didn't read that part o....my bad

Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by Nobody: 3:28pm On Dec 07, 2019

Mindfulness:
Learn to please yourself and not others. People don't respect people pleasers because people pleasers don't respect themselves.

Word.
This here is the koko.

But if u are the type that is looking for acceptance probably because you grew up in toxic environment, it's very hard to put this into practice, although not impossible.
Re- orientation.

2 Likes

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