Duggedised12:
flesh and blood did not reveal this to you.

don't mind them, very any how human beings ,the same ones that will blame dead girls for being murdered even when it is not proven she was a prostitute o, the same ones that will blame rape victims forgetting its someone's daughter and sister too he is talking about caring for someone's daughter, where as he is more interested in looking out and maintaining the bro code.

Ladycewhy:
don't mind them, very any how human beings ,the same ones that will blame dead girls for being murdered even when it is not proven she was a prostitute o, the same ones that will blame rape victims forgetting its someone's daughter and sister too he is talking about caring for someone's daughter, where as he is more interested in looking out and maintaining the bro code.

You have hit the nail on the head jare. Make we leave matter for Mathias.

[s]

Ladycewhy:
lol,i knew about it through you na, stop it jor,because i have been keeping it a secret? This boy sef

Guidance? says a boy who co-signed on the "maternal slavery" comment. Lol you and your goons have issues with women for whatever reason and will lead even your own sisters astray just to maintain your "bro code". So shut up your mouth. And be more focused on healing from your so called maternal slavery y'all have been through.

[/s]

All I know is that you are not allowed to give advice as per this sensitive matter. You're toxic to this wonderful thread.

You opinion doesn't count... period!

KanuSE:
[s][/s]

[s]All I know is that you are not allowed to give advice as per this sensitive matter. You're toxic to this wonderful thread.

You opinion doesn't count... period! [/s]

trash. I have followed this thread ,you are the toxic one.seems you have a special spot for dead beat dads. Supporting toxic behavior,irresponsibility and people not being accountable for their actions .

Duggedised12:
trash. I have followed this thread ,you are the toxic one.seems you have a special spot for dead beat dads. Supporting toxic behavior,irresponsibility and people not being accountable for their actions .

Abeg point out where I have shown support for deadbeat dads... I'm waiting?

Let's start from there please...

KanuSE:


Abeg point out where I have shown support for deadbeat dads... I'm waiting?

Let's start from there please...

first you seem to have a problem with the word "deadbeat" .

Then in your reply to some you said "It's natural for people to do right or wrong and it's not out of the ordinary but our intelligence can help to leverage.".

So in oder words men abandoning their kids is natural .

Let's not forget you have attacked virtually everyone who is not in support of deadbeat dads even guys too. Lol.You and your people have been doing high five on the thread since forever,you have co-signed all their toxic outbursts on this thread ,that to me is enough support bro.

Ladycewhy:
see how you made people to be insulting themselves on this thread ,i dey vex for you o. If to say i nor do investigation now na so i for join ,becareful buddy

If you had joined,it would have meant you had no handle on your emotions.

Control those emo-gases and fluids or they control you

luminouz:


If you had joined,it would have meant you had no handle on your emotions.

Control those emo-gases and fluids or they control you

its not about control, these boys here were already calling their baby daddy friends on nairaland to come and gloat ,lol. Anyway ,i am glad i didnt tho it was tempting to join in the dart throwing sections with the boys

JONNYSPUTE:
.. Men should wake up. Like I said in that thread,I ve stopped giving my wife money to go pay school fees. I either transfer from my account or go there myself. Take the kids out once i'm around. Sleep with them on my bed and play around. Since the birds has learn to fly without perching,the hunter has also learnt to shoot without aiming.

GBAM!

mapet:


Madam,

I always salute when I find submissions from Emotionally Intelligent women. (No chauvinism intended)

Thank you Sir, I am flattered.

Duggedised12:
first you seem to have a problem with the word "deadbeat" .

The in your reply to some you said "It's natural for people to do right or wrong and it's not out of the ordinary but our intelligence can help to leverage.".

So in oder words men abandoning their kids is natural .

Let's not forget you have attacked virtually everyone who is not in support of deadbeat dads even guys too. Lol.

Now you're beginning to twist my words.

I'm not saying there ain't runaway dads but to use a disparaging and vicious word such as 'dead' in the combination of descriptive words connotes the depth of the bitterness which lingers. Here in Sambisa, we call them 'Runaway Dads'.

Secondly, people often behave badly and also do the right thing - these are what humans do & I hope we both agree on that. So how to leverage in such situations is what we all have intelligence to do in order not to make a bad situation worse.

Lastly, it would be wrong or inappropriate to use the word 'attack' in the context which it's used in your last paragraph. This is because I have only tried my possible best to put people back in line that we have a choice either to 'make better' or 'make worse'.

In this case, the Op chose the former and now he has peace of mind. He has done well for himself.

Ladycewhy:
its not about control, these boys here were already calling their baby daddy friends on nairaland to come and gloat ,lol. Anyway ,i am glad i didnt tho it was tempting to join in the dart throwing sections with the boys

Leave the Boys alone babe. You and you alone decide what gets to you or not. That's your power.

luminouz:


Leave the Boys alone babe. You and you alone decide what gets to you or not. That's your power.

bros bros,you na man wey sabi right from time.

KanuSE:


Now you're beginning to twist my words.

I'm not saying there ain't runaway dads but to use a disparaging and vicious word such as 'dead' in the combination of descriptive words connotes the depth of the bitterness which lingers. Here in Sambisa, we call them 'Runaway Dads'.

Secondly, people often behave badly and also do the right thing - these are what humans do & I hope we both agree on that. So how to leverage in such situations is what we all have intelligence to do in order not to make a bad situation worse.

Lastly, it would be wrong or inappropriate to use the word 'attack' in the context which it's used in your last paragraph. This is because I have only tried my possible best to put people back in line that we have a choice either to 'make better' or 'make worse'.

In this case, the Op chose the former and now he has peace of mind. He has done well for himself.

but it has been proven that even the so called peace of mind the op was seeking was all a misguided statement . The real gist is his mum and other siblings have already made up with his dad,infact his mum and dad even live together . The op is the only who hasn't patched things up with his dad. Its all there on page 11 .

Ladycewhy:
its not about control, these boys here were already calling their baby daddy friends on nairaland to come and gloat ,lol. Anyway , i am glad i didnt tho it was tempting to join in the dart throwing sections with the boys

New eyelashes called lies...can see you have a pair on.

Duggedised12:
but it has been proven that even the so called peace of mind the op was seeking was all a misguided statement . The real gist is his mum and other siblings have already made up with his dad,infact his mum and dad even live together . The op is the only who hasn't patched things up with his dad. Its all there on page 11 .

That's after the fact - do u gerrit? It doesn't change the narrative or some people's positions with regards to what's in the child's best interest.

I hope you also read some nasty comments about excluding the said runaway dad from the child's life by stealth.

C'mmon!

midnighter:


Thank you Sir, I am flattered.

Dont flatter yourself, you still owe me pounded yam.

KanuSE:


That's after the fact - do u gerrit? It doesn't change the narrative or some people's positions with regards to what's in the child's best interest.

I hope you also read some nasty comments about excluding the said runaway dad from the child's life by stealth.

C'mmon!

the reason i quoted you is you calling ladycewhy toxic, of which she was among the few who were interested in getting to the root of the matter and put the pieces together while you were busy giving your baby daddy friends a high five ,gloating in your testosterone and shutting people who dont support dead beat dads up. She was busy asking salient questions that is what i wanted to point out. so next time before to you call people names ,do a back track on your own path, shalom!.

luminouz:

Dont flatter yourself, you still owe me pounded yam.

Lol what

midnighter:


Lol what

.

You promised me a pounded yam takeout or home service.

luminouz:
.

You promised me a pounded yam takeout or home service.

That wasn't me dear why not get down to Kilimanjaro and give yourself a Friday night treat

emmaodet:


Na wa ooooooooo,
So much anger, venom and bile from all these ladies because a child determines to re-trace his steps.
God save us all from Karashikas in human form.
When i was younger, my mum painted a picture of my dad to us as someone not really trying and lazy. Sometimes during there occasional arguments and quarrels she will mock him that his mates are out there hustling but my dad is too contented and satisfied with the meagre civil servant salary. Sometimes she sobs that what kind of head and destiny did she chose to deserve all these because she didn't bargained for this in life. Adagbe, adaso. She is one doing the duty of a man instead of him.
One thing people don't understand is that not all men are business savvy or inclined and God made them all.
Some just like the quite, not stressful, administrative life.
Then, i do see my dad as lazy despite giving my mum 95% of what he earns for her to manage it, despite not fornicating, drinking and always given my mum rest of mind.
It was when i became an adult, married and feeding a wife and son did i know that uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.
I had to prostrate and begged him for forgiveness 6 months ago for regularly not in his good book because i was rebellious to him.
It's well

You aptly put
Many men, once they begin to face life's responsibility, have a deeper understanding of what it is to be a man, a father.

While growing up
I seriously disliked my father
It was until I became a man, my eyes opened. My Dad is my hero, my best friend. I talk with him weekly anywhere I am.

Many women can never understand what it means to be a father.
Some on this post were calling them sperm donors.
A woman's womb and egg is like the ground, the seed for that womb to be fruitful is in between the legs of a man.
Without a man, that your egg, will fizzle out in form of blood.

Until many women begin to respect men and give them there due diligence, many will never know peace. Man is man

midnighter:


That wasn't me dear why not get down to Kilimanjaro and give yourself a Friday night treat

Lmaoooo....

At least the bickering on thread don reduce now on the thread.


A dose of comedy works everytime

luminouz:


Lmaoooo....

At least the bickering on thread don reduce now on the thread.


A dose of comedy works everytime

I didn't see it as bickering; people were just annoyed at the tone the OP was taking

He was using reconciliation as a guise to cover up his personal problem with his dad

chriskosherbal:
Easier Said than done, op first of all I want to use this medium to say you are a man, for trying to make peace with your Dad, there is a particular blessing that biological father's carry that NO man on earth no matter how highly placed in any field can give to you..Am quoting you because you are still trying to condemn and Judge his Dad, the OP said we never listened to his own side of the story cos men just know how to suck in emotions.

Being the last male in the family I stayed with family for a longtime before I left, and I must say mother's are wonderful but can choke a man to death sometimes if that man lack emotional shockabsolver when things start to fall apart especially finance, Seeing my mum cry complaining to me sometimes you will think Dad is just heartless until I grew to understand that mum most times just want things to go her way always forgetting Dad feelings, and the fact he still the head of the home, irrespective of finance and mum sometimes couldn't just be submissive.

You see when you grow older in life you will definitely love your mum but tend to appreciate your Dad's effort so far in trying to raise a family ( we were 8 in number, even though we lost 2), providing for everyone's need, food, academics, name it, and coping with mums constant nagging sometimes can be really frustrating and unbearable, you will see it practically clear when you start to have kids..

It takes God and a man that is determine to keep his family together irrespective of trials/temptation to still keep going, sincerely I love my mum no doubt but my RESPECT for my Dad have skyrocked when I came face to face with real life ...I love you DAD.

my broda, I tell you. It is wen u leave d huz ND starts struggling for ursef, u will appreciate ur dad's effort over u as a son.

Omakraid:

I quoted you cos I wanted you to stop the back and forth as the post as misled all enough and started causing irrelevancies before he mentioned it to someone else that mum and dad are good with his siblings excluding him. Such things makes everyone look like a joke and it's not funny. Op did not try at all by keeping that part to himself

you did good on that. I've decided to ignore other mentions on the thread. His modifications came later on, and honestly, he should've said those things in the very first instance. It still doesn't justify parental negligence and abuse, though.

JONNYSPUTE:
.. Most times,I do apologise even if I'm right.Like there was a day I came back and noticed that my wife is not happy. I didn't bother to start asking what the problem was,I simply held her and said,i'm sorry for anything that might be the problem cause I believe as the keeper of the house,I should keep it in order.Does that make me weak ? No. Rather it shows maturity.Lets stop seeing people like that as fools. Note. Sometimes I do apologise to my staffs just to reassure them that we are one and equal.

I can't. No apology.

[s]

Duggedised12:
the reason i quoted you is you calling ladycewhy toxic, of which she was among the few who were interested in getting to the root of the matter and put the pieces together while you were busy giving your baby daddy friends a high five ,gloating in your testosterone and shutting people who dont support dead beat dads up. She was busy asking salient questions that is what i wanted to point out. so next time before to you call people names ,do a back track on your own path, shalom!.

[/s]

Now you're beginning to make a mess of a bad situation. If you haven't forgotten, you quoted me that I'm the toxic one coz I have been supporting runaway dads and I asked you to point out where I have shown to be doing so - you're yet to fish out a comment where I demonstrated such.

You shot yasef in the foot by bringing one ladycewhy into the discourse as if she's making any sense whatsoever. Try and comb through ladycewhy's comments and point out where she supports the reconcilation effort btw Op & his dad. The only thing/word being used is deadbeat deadbeat and deadbeat as if that's all there is.

Well, you can side with ladycewhy and cherry pick whatever comments you desire but it doesn't change anything.

I understand you people's pain but it doesn't change the fact that children(when they're of age) continue to seek&know the truth as they go in search of their loving fathers.

Only if men can begin to voice out like y'all do...

Nonsense!

djon78:




You aptly put
Many men, once they begin to face life's responsibility, have a deeper understanding of what it is to be a man, a father.

While growing up
I seriously disliked my father
It was until I became a man, my eyes opened. My Dad is my hero, my best friend. I talk with him weekly anywhere I am.

Many women can never understand what it means to be a father.
Some on this post were calling them sperm donors.
A woman's womb and egg is like the ground, the seed for that womb to be fruitful is in between the legs of a man.
Without a man, that your egg, will fizzle out in form of blood.

Until many women begin to respect men and give them there due diligence, many will never know peace. Man is man

You are 100% right bro.
E no easy but women don't just understand because they find life very easy for them due to having lot of admirers that are willing to do things for them freely

obamartins:
@op don't allow anyone discourage you from reconciling with ur dad and getting him a gift. I had a very terrible experience with my dad that made me drop out of medical school at 300level, my brother got locked up in the cell bcus I reacted by seizing my dad's credentials as a way of protesting his neglect. He tot I conspired with my brother to seize his documents. Cut the long story short, the DPO mediated and asked us to go home and resolve the issue since it's a family issue. My dad threatened to shoot both of us if we step foot in his house (he has a gun). So we both went our different ways. I vowed never to have anything to do with him and for seven years we were not on talking terms. I started hustling and went back to school, did part time and graduated. Yes, I graduated with a 2:1, but those seven years were hell, nothing I did seems to work. Even after leaving school I was stagnant until someone told me to reconcile with my dad if I want doors to open.

Hell No! There is no way I will reconcile with that heartless man. I had all justifiable reasons not to reconcile with him. After a couple of months, I gave it a tot and called him. We reconciled and since then I have never known a better yesterday. Doors began to open. Today, I was able to reconcile him and my elder brother and also placed him on monthly allowance. There is a spiritual implication when you have issues with your parent. I witnessed it and I had no option than to bury the past. The truth is that they will never apologize to you no matter what, just eat the humble pie and make amends. Then things will start working again. We need their blessings b4 the leave earth.

Your comment struck me so hard. I was 9 in 1998 when dad stopped visiting us (mum, my sis and I) and by 2000, he stopped reaching out to us. Mum saw us through school with her meagre income, and to the glory of God today, my sibling and I are university graduates. Though my sis still talks to him, I am just too pained to reconcile with him knowing the hardship we went through and bitter experience of my mum in raising us. Though still struggling to find my feet in my profession and relatives have constantly pressured me to call him and check on him, I just can't find a space to forgive him in my heart. But your comment got me thinking that could my rigid stance on not forgiving and reaching out to him be responsible for my slow career progress even when I'm clearly not at fault? I find it hard to reconcile your point of view with the fact that God does not pay the good with evil, I never wronged him, he wronged me, he left me in the cold, he tormented me emotionally and psychologically by abandoning me, he made my family suffer, he killed my self esteem and why do I have to agree that it is only when I make peace with him that I can achieve desired progress? Anyways, I'd give it a thought and see if I would need to get his number and say hello

This thread is funny because everyone is seeing things from a very biased point of view. Please ishilove and dominique, if the woman was the one that abandoned her family and left the kids with their father, would you have this same energy?

Imagine leaving your 3 month old kid for no tangible reason for months at a time. After several attempts over the years by the man to reconcile with his wife, she finally demanded he pay her 5m naira to come back. 5m from where kwanu? Just last year the kids (now adults) reconciled with their mom even though she abandoned them as kids.

Are you really in opposition to reconciliation in this regard, or y'all just hate men? Would you advise these kids to ignore their mom too?

BRATISLAVA:
is this about perfection? Or it's about a guy who has a father who he said treated he and his mother badly? People depend too much on second chances, so they live their lives terribly and do wicked, stupid things just so that they will get the second chance. Many don't get it. So why not live right in the first instance?

Sounding as if you lived with them. Did you even know what he went through @ll? He is responsible for whatever decision he makes so respect that. ✌�. God will continue to guide us .