₦airaland Forum

You don’t have to forgive.
You don’t have to forget.
You can be civil without doing any of those .

However make him financially responsible for a start.

missmishel:
An ex boyfriend left 6years ago when pregnant with his child for no reason. He never care about his son. Nothing matters to him except himself. I struggle all by myself.
Suddenly, my ex came back with an appology giving inrelevant reasons why he left.
He wants me back and his son.
Looking at him, all I feel for him is deep hatred.
What's the best way to revenge on this guy?
How can I hurt him back?

What do you think?

For your own emotional & mental health, learn to forgive people and move on. You don't have to forget though as that will keep you cautious around them, but forgiveness is paramount for your own sake.
You don't do this for him, but for yourself.

Too many people are walking around thinking they are okay, yet they carry around various hurts from the past, holding on to it because they feel they will be doing the person who hurt them a favor by forgiving them - nothing could be more silly.

Don't become one of such people, you will only be hurting yourself.

crackkhaus:
For your own emotional & mental health, learn to forgive people and move on. You don't have to forget though as that will keep you cautious around them, but forgiveness is paramount for your own sake.
You don't do this for him, but for yourself.

Too many people are walking around thinking they are okay, yet they carry around various hurts from the past, holding on to it because they feel they will be doing the person who hurt them a favor by forgiving them - nothing could be more silly.

Don't become one of such people, you will only be hurting yourself.

100%

Forgiveness is more for the offended than the offender.

Awon wereys.

Biko don't go back to him but let him pay through his nose caring for his son. Also, biko calculate all you've spent on his child plus the value of the opportunity cost for him to pay as well. He's an asshehole...dont be fooled.

frozen70:
If you ever loved him and if he ever loved and cared for you ever before, consider him

But if there was nothing like love existing between you guys but just sex partners or living like room mates, let him go

You being a single parents, your son is a plus for you not minus

A man that will live you is out their waiting to have you in his arms

..
There is no love in this equation..

bukatyne:
100%

Forgiveness is more for the offended than the offender.

Unfortunately, not a lot of people know this.
Most think they are doing the offender a favor by forgiving them.

crackkhaus:
Unfortunately, not a lot of people know this.
Most think they are doing the offender a favor by forgiving them.

If the OP has forgiven him, she would be thinking of how to enter another relationship (if she is not in one) and not revenge on person who might not even send her sef.

The dude might be talking of reconciliation sef because he wants to hit and run again.

bukatyne:
If the OP has forgiven him, she would be thinking of how to enter another relationship (if she is not in one) and not revenge on person who might not even send her sef.

The dude might be talking of reconciliation sef because he wants to hit and run again.

The kind of emotional investment it takes to enact a revenge on love gone wrong is always needless.

As for a reconciliation, she can grant him access to his child but that's about it. Anything more is up to her, as long as she can accept responsibility for her part in case it goes wrong again.

sisisioge:
Awon wereys.

Biko don't go back to him but let him pay through his nose caring for his son. Also, biko calculate all you've spent on his child plus the value of the opportunity cost for him to pay as well. He's an asshehole...dont be fooled.

Your comment is too harsh. Have you forgotten he is the father of her child? It counts for something. I see no wrong in a man who initially walked away but came back to rectify his mistakes. As long as the intention is genuine, the lady should accept him back for the sake of their child. It's tough being a single mom in our society, sincerely.

SimplyJuice:
Your comment is too harsh. Have you forgotten he is the father of her child? It counts for something. I see no wrong in a man who initially walked away but came back to rectify his mistakes. As long as the intention is genuine, the lady should accept him back for the sake of their child. It's tough being a single mom in our society, sincerely.

Really @ the bolded! I have a friend that went through this, it was so tough for her ma...if you've actually experienced it personally or through a third party...your opinion would changed!

Meanwhile, my initial post remains my opinion on the matter. Now that he's back...he should be made to pay forward and backward!

yettymuse:
the goal is the bag girl! Go get it and stop allowing your emotions run you over! But if you say you don’t need the money....issokay!

Horrible counsel. You sure know he'd feel entitled because his money is now making up for those moments he disappeared, right?

Everything will change the moment he collects a dime from him and he will have a claim over the child because he has started 'spending'.

Sanchez01:
Horrible counsel. You sure know he'd feel entitled because his money is now making up for those moments he disappeared, right?

Everything will change the moment he collects a dime from him and he will have a claim over the child because he has started 'spending'.

Not denieing him of his son. I have no intention for that.

The most u can do is to kill him and if u do, u will die too. Now if u take it out on him, he may die by accident and u will die too. Now the point is forget about him and move on. He is not a real man.

proclinician:
The most u can do is to kill him and if u do, u will die too. Now if u take it out on him, he may die by accident and u will die too. Now the point is forget about him and move on. He is not a real man.

Kill? God forbid. Not that kind revenge.

Total forgiveness will do you a lot of good.

I can tell because I have been there.