₦airaland Forum

EmmyDJourno:
Some ladies are like that, never considerate when it comes to money

You should have known her attitude towards spending her money on your relationship by now

You should have had this discussion long before now

My guy, your fiancee doesn't want to spend her money on anything or maybe not 50%

So cut down the budget, share it 70/30% and if she wants anything extra, let her get it herself


End time girls everywhere

Until a women gets desperate, they are stupidly opinionated

A chic who earns 130k once told me she would contribute nothing to house rent and school fees. From that moment she started dating herself, till I dumped her sorry ass

and the same lady will be on social media, demanding for gender equality

Thunder fire her smelly pussy.

So this is the kind of discussion people have 3 weeks to their wedding ?

tiredoflife:
U are a woman
And u are telling this entitled beast he did nothing wrong
Cant u see he married her job and not her
Is it not clear for u to see
Tomorrow she loses the job
Problem begins
He begins to call her useless woman
Why.
Cos she is useless without the job

You are a man and you think it is ok for a woman to be an entitled beast right? You support women that marry men because of they have good job and you think it is wrong for a man to do same....lol are you not an hypocrite? When men looses job don't we have women that call them useless men... This has nothing to do with gender but the attitude and character of individuals.

There are many different reasons by which your lady doesn't respond to you like you wanted her to do. It's because of the following reasons:
1. Your weird behavior with her
2. [/b]You don't give her proper time
[b]3. You don't pamper her
[b]4. [/b]You don't respect her
https://happynewyear2k20.com/happy-valentines-day/

My annoyance are the women saying carrying a child is part of their hardwork in marriage. I don't want to say that barreness will kill una.

Just for a woman to support her "love" financially, you'll start hearing demons speak.

I give it to you 100%

seanwilliam:
I always think you are very intelligent, but today, i can see you are just a typical naija lady with little knowledge... expected you to counter the guy with palpable points, but no, the feministic attitude would always find its way to show.. I'm referring to the bolded you quoted in the guy's post..

#fact

Brazenbabe:
My point is that you people are quick to share bills with your wives/fiances but never share the domestic responsibilities
You people are quick to say what you did for her but never say what they do for you
See how all of you are on the other thread saying your families come before your wife, bla bla bla
Will you also tell your families your wives pay at least half of the bills?
I thought Nigerian women contributed nothing to the household and lives of their husbands? Why are we now being asked to pay for weddings
Abi would the man agree to answer our surname?

You have not made any point as regards to the topic being discussed. We are Africans, the marriage recognized in this part of the Continent is traditional marriage, and from the guy's post, he did take care of that. For official purpose, he can go for court marriage. So technically it's the lady who wants white wedding probably because she wants to impress her ancestors. So what is wrong with her contributing to her fantasy? Please nobody is sharing bills with anybody here, Besides most naija babes no be who dem dey share bills with self, because their self-centered ness will never allow them to assist you.

Kennydoc:
Hope you know there are nannies and maids in some homes and they carry out most domestic chores.
Hope you also know there are homes in which the husbands do most of the major cooking cos the wives aren't good in the kitchen.

Those are exceptions and they aren't in the larger percentage.

faithfull18:
Those are exceptions and they aren't in the larger percentage.

That's not true. Most men now are very considerate. The fact is that they treat the lady the way she presents herself. For instance, You have never thought it wise to wash my clothes for any reason. Then one day you will be ill-disposed and expect me to come and assist you in washing yours? Who does that?

donstan18:
Traditionally, a man is the chief sponsor of any wedding ceremony while the woman supports in a way she can. Reason, it's expected a man goes into marriage when financially stable and ready.

Allocating 50% to her passed a message that you'll be a type of husband who will be after the statistics of the wife's earning and spending. You sure wouldn't have done what you did if you hadn't any knowledge of her earning, you acted because you know her earning and that's a red flag for Nigerian ladies, because they don't like dragging and equal responsibilities in a home.

You don't go direct when you want a woman to contribute financially to something. You go Tactically[Not imposing, but asking how and where she can take care of, she'll choose, no matter the percentage of her choice, you lock up, keep the planning going, pretend like you are cool and then sketch out a personal plan of how to act worried and restless before her, she'll wanna know the problem, act like you wanna hide it from her, she'll be worried and pissed that you are hiding things from her, then you'll come up with a story and open up that you are facing financial crisis and don't know how to sort some things out concerning the wedding, she'll willingly help with pity without seeing you as a stingy or mean person]

No be everything dem dey form mancho, you go dey use your head.

You've spent on traditional wedding and for that not to be a total waste, kindly go and meet her, reason with her and go tactical, not directly with authority.

Happy married life in advance!

Thank you. I guess he should read his bible often instead. Wisdom they say is profitable to direct

donstan18:
Traditionally, a man is the chief sponsor of any wedding ceremony while the woman supports in a way she can. Reason, it's expected a man goes into marriage when financially stable and ready.

Allocating 50% to her passed a message that you'll be a type of husband who will be after the statistics of the wife's earning and spending. You sure wouldn't have done what you did if you hadn't any knowledge of her earning, you acted because you know her earning and that's a red flag for Nigerian ladies, because they don't like dragging and equal responsibilities in a home.

You don't go direct when you want a woman to contribute financially to something. You go Tactically[Not imposing, but asking how and where she can take care of, she'll choose, no matter the percentage of her choice, you lock up, keep the planning going, pretend like you are cool and then sketch out a personal plan of how to act worried and restless before her, she'll wanna know the problem, act like you wanna hide it from her, she'll be worried and pissed that you are hiding things from her, then you'll come up with a story and open up that you are facing financial crisis and don't know how to sort some things out concerning the wedding, she'll willingly help with pity without seeing you as a stingy or mean person]

No be everything dem dey form mancho, you go dey use your head.

You've spent on traditional wedding and for that not to be a total waste, kindly go and meet her, reason with her and go tactical, not directly with authority.

Happy married life in advance!

So this is how someone wants to start marriage with pretence, fear and manipulation instead of total openess. Well be ready till keep up this act till you are pushed to the wall and you lash out. Why should a real man fear his wife?

seanwilliam:
you have said it all..
1. you are submissive , I'll take your full responsibility.
2. You are not submissive, you take care of your responsibility
3. You want gender Equality, then we practice Equality in financial contributions too

I love this

donstan18:
Traditionally, a man is the chief sponsor of any wedding ceremony while the woman supports in a way she can. Reason, it's expected a man goes into marriage when financially stable and ready.

Allocating 50% to her passed a message that you'll be a type of husband who will be after the statistics of the wife's earning and spending. You sure wouldn't have done what you did if you hadn't any knowledge of her earning, you acted because you know her earning and that's a red flag for Nigerian ladies, because they don't like dragging and equal responsibilities in a home.

You don't go direct when you want a woman to contribute financially to something. You go Tactically[Not imposing, but asking how and where she can take care of, she'll choose, no matter the percentage of her choice, you lock up, keep the planning going, pretend like you are cool and then sketch out a personal plan of how to act worried and restless before her, she'll wanna know the problem, act like you wanna hide it from her, she'll be worried and pissed that you are hiding things from her, then you'll come up with a story and open up that you are facing financial crisis and don't know how to sort some things out concerning the wedding, she'll willingly help with pity without seeing you as a stingy or mean person]

No be everything dem dey form mancho, you go dey use your head.

You've spent on traditional wedding and for that not to be a total waste, kindly go and meet her, reason with her and go tactical, not directly with authority.

Happy married life in advance!

Yahoo husband, I don screenshot your tips, could be useful in the future ���

Michellekabod2:
why?

A typical naija girl won't do that

faithfull18:
Those are exceptions and they aren't in the larger percentage.

A woman that earns 200k most likely has a job that is serious and involving, so she may actually need househelps or nannies.

Promomarlie:
I don't care about her happiness, she assumed so I decided to counter it. But can you be sincere and say you'll sit your child down to advice them that to Bleep as many men or women as they want, I would never do that and morally I don't think it sounds good. You don't want to get married but you want the fun of marriage and mind you, you'll jumping between married men/women. Well I'm not married maybe because I see it as a beautiful union in my opinion.

The real fact about life is this : Nobody cares about anybody happiness. So you not caring about her happiness is irrelevant. The only person who can make one Happ,y is the individual herself.
There is no parent on earth that will seat their kids down and say look start fucvkin different men and women. Parent either teach u the right thing and along the line as the child grows up, he or she follows that path or parents teach the right thing but as the child grows, he or she follows another path in life.
Not everyone Desires marriage but almost everyone wants a companion or different companions as they grow older.
It's not in your place to dictate to an adult how he or she should live her life.
Everybody is not like you. We were created differently WIth different wants and desires.
You can't force someone to marry if they don't want to.
The earlier u realise not everyone must marry the better for you.

And if she feels like tasting the privileges of marriage without being married, so be it. She's free to do whatever she likes with her life.

At least she's still. Alive, making her money , taking care of her family and herself without begging any. Man. Unlike some housewives who died just few months or few years into marriage.

A chorister in my aunty church, slumped and died on the pulpit while leading a song with her fellow choristers. She's married with three kids. A young lady.
Neighbors said they usually hear she and her husband quarrel.

Maybe she must have quarreled with her husband that morning, her bp rose up, she decided to go to church that morning, thinking if she sings to God her anger will come. Down. But lo and behold she had an heart attack in church slumped and died within few minutes as she was being rushed to the hospital.

Church service end that morning. The husband was crying at the hospital.

Some Men are just baggages of headaches and wahala, especially when one is married to such man.

I believe if someone does not want marriage? Fine! Let the person be!


I have a male friend, very fresh guy lives in a duplex built by him, successful guy but unfortunately he has bp issues. He opted for baby mama, he took his child, while he freed the baby mama. He wants only one kid. Every day he swallows a pill of bp drug. Every single day. I was like wow! But why? He said his workers are stubborn ,and handling them. Is stressful and that's why he can't get married . He needed peace and quiet in his life, he can't deal. With women issues.

He's single with his kid living with him. He gives her the best of everything. His mother also lives With him. He told. Me, Vicky I'm. Not getting married, I don't want to die young. So u can imagine? A guy drinking bp drug, at least a pill every day of his life. U can't force him to marry except u want to kill. Him finally.

Some people. Just cannot handle the stress in marriage. That's the truth!

What happen after d wedding should be ur aim,u know ur income and ur capability but wen u guys notice that ur girl/fiancee is doing well u always push much of d responsibility on her,y don't u just do mini wedding,since dat is wat ur pocket can offer,after d wedding u will start sharing who will pay nepa bill,house rent,fuel d car,DSTV subscription and food stuff with her.May God give us wisdom to do d right thing at d right time.

Someone that you are sopposed to have used kolaq alagno yo destroy her womb like this carrying 3 bouncing baby boy..

You are thinking white wedding..

esthervera:
What happen after d wedding should be ur aim,u know ur income and ur capability but wen u guys notice that ur girl/fiancee is doing well u always push much of d responsibility on her,y don't u just do mini wedding,since dat is wat ur pocket can offer,after d wedding u will start sharing who will pay nepa bill,house rent,fuel d car,DSTV subscription and food stuff with her.May God give us wisdom to do d right thing at d right time.

What about women that find it offensive to share bills after marriage?

Wow! Your Wedding Is In 3 Weeks and her gown is not yet ready! Brother! Are you serious about this wedding! Secondly, to earn your respect as the man, you shouldn't have allocated the expenses for the catering to her! That's a No! No! My Brother! E be like say, you no want make your people chop that day!



During my own time, the only expenses I insisted she must cater to, were her jewelries, shoes, her bridal train, her parents dressing and vehicle to convoy them to the church and back

Not because I am rich! But because I want my self respect intact! And GOD Helped me a lot! Thank You JESUS!

https://www.bummyla.com

sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.

larryking540:
That's why I advise guys to date their girl for a very long period of time ,and I see it as the best means of courtship not the one year courtship when u tell ur babe thing's are hard she will just make a funny laugh at u like u are not serious ...

I have come to notice that most lady way day stay with their guy even carry Belle even born before the guy do marriage this can go a long way upto 4 years or even 5 years na them they loyal or mellow pass when it comes to marriage ....

While the ones u go just approach,after 9 months una go do marriage , when they enter hux na misbehave they go just day misbehave ,, probably they have hit a jackpot

True, I am not a fan of see and marry.

date her for years.


Women are very good in pretending, so those that do see and marry are on a 50-50 gamble.


If she is loyal when u are at the foundation stage, u are just on a road to greatness with her.

dominique:
I know the bride's family sponsors a large chunk of the wedding amongst the Yorubas but poverty has done a number on some people that they now shed the responsibility on the groom and his family. Now for ordinary intro, the lady will request for money from the man to host him and his family. I don't know of I should blame poverty or entitlement mentality for this

goodafternoon

sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.

Y 50% ? If u r not ready for wedding, u relax. Forget abt ur wife income and hustle to settle ur bills

donstan18:
Traditionally, a man is the chief sponsor of any wedding ceremony while the woman supports in a way she can. Reason, it's expected a man goes into marriage when financially stable and ready.

Allocating 50% to her passed a message that you'll be a type of husband who will be after the statistics of the wife's earning and spending. You sure wouldn't have done what you did if you hadn't any knowledge of her earning, you acted because you know her earning and that's a red flag for Nigerian ladies, because they don't like dragging and equal responsibilities in a home.

You don't go direct when you want a woman to contribute financially to something. You go Tactically[Not imposing, but asking how and where she can take care of, she'll choose, no matter the percentage of her choice, you lock up, keep the planning going, pretend like you are cool and then sketch out a personal plan of how to act worried and restless before her, she'll wanna know the problem, act like you wanna hide it from her, she'll be worried and pissed that you are hiding things from her, then you'll come up with a story and open up that you are facing financial crisis and don't know how to sort some things out concerning the wedding, she'll willingly help with pity without seeing you as a stingy or mean person]

No be everything dem dey form mancho, you go dey use your head.

You've spent on traditional wedding and for that not to be a total waste, kindly go and meet her, reason with her and go tactical, not directly with authority.
.
Happy married life in advance!

Mad oh!!!!

Munzy14:
True, I am not a fan of see and marry.

date her for years.


Women are very good in pretending, so those that do see and marry are on a 50-50 gamble.


If she is loyal when u are at the foundation stage, u are just on a road to greatness with her.

I don't believe in God says I should marry you ,,,
Carry the babe go hux date her so Tay ,when u even present her engagement ring see will see it as normal thing not a jackpot ,,

I watched a video clip of a nigeira guy that engage his girlfriend of over 8 years of dating na so the girl day smile ,,and few days later I watched another one where the guy also engaged his bae see as the girl day shout bro those ones they never invest anything for the relationship ....

To me the best a lady can invest in a relationship is just time ,,

larryking540:
I don't believe in God says I should marry you ,,,
Carry the babe go hux date her so Tay ,when u even present her engagement ring see will see it as normal thing not a jackpot ,,

I watched a video clip of a nigeira guy that engage his girlfriend of over 8 years of dating na so the girl day smile ,,and few days later I watched another one where the guy also engaged his bae see as the girl day shout bro those ones they never invest anything for the relationship ....

To me the best a lady can invest in a relationship is just time ,,

... true.


She is just smiling, because she knows long ago she is the chosen one... just waiting for formalities.

It is how it should be I swear.

Yes time, attention and tolerance=sacrifice.

Best investment anyone can bring to a relationship.

Munzy14:
... true.


She is just smiling, because she knows long ago she is the chosen one... just waiting for formalities.

It is how it should be I swear.

Yes time, attention and tolerance=sacrifice.

Best investment anyone can bring to a relationship.

If the girl no fit patient make she carry her load go ,,even when the money day my pocket full ,she will be surprised I will not even make mention of marriage one day ,,

Wen I kw the time is right then no problem
The time might be when u don even born finish or when my kid go fit day primary 2 already

tiredoflife:
Gold digger oshi.
No wonder marriage no dey last
People marry ladies because of their job
See as e dey announce her salary
Bloody materialistic bastard

She made a mistake in marrying u
She will regret it all her life
What a bum
So u dey allocate 50%
Like for real
And u dont know what u did wrong
What an entitled beast
When she no bring money
U go ku ku kill am na

This one go give him wife belle
Say na two of una Bleep so una go share hospital bills
Oponu
Ode raised to the power of mumu

Haaa did Op offend you before ?shoooo

MisterKings:
Brother, MOST Naija Women are selfish by nature, thats the truth, let them argue with their data.

They want our own money. They want to keep their own. They want us to shower them with love and care selflessly, but to do the same is a problem unless they know they need to do it to collect something from us. When you go to a restaurant they want to eat your own food despite the fact it is the same thing you bought for her. They will say its love. Thunder fire that kind love Their feeling of ENTITLEMENT no be here.

My wife (my then babe) was not told. She just knew that she has to make an input no matter how small. She was depositing virtually her whole salary which was about 60k just to make sure we achieved this thing. I handled the big ones she handled the small ones. My wife paid for my suit. I did not have to ask her even my own family did not drop pure water for my wedding. They told me abi na you won marry, we send you message? That is the reason why when they talk from now till tomorrow, my wife comes first, that is why any side chic wey won enter our matter, na me go give my wife the bottle to break her head.

Most Nigerian women like to form equality when it suits them, when matter land, they go say abi you are the man of the house. If that is the case then as a man na authoritarianism I go apply for my house, Adolf hitler go be saint where I dey. Since I handle everything. You dont have a say. Its what I say that stands whether wrong or right.
Na so I for do am if e be say e happen to me.

Women are meant to assist us. A good woman will assist without being told. If she cant she will show it in her attitude that she is unhappy that she cant. I see no reason why your fiancee is pissed because she has to buy her own wedding gown etc.

If I was in your shoes I will cancel the wedding. No white wedding. Reason being I do not have the money for it and NOBODY is assisting me. We go stay traditionally married. Your woman will wake up by force because they no dey use white wedding play, it is where they can dance to stupor and sing bye bye to yeye boyfriend at the reception.

But let me not sound like I am supporting you. You sef, na scope they dey use dey do these things. You dont say;
ehe Nkechi so I spent 2million for trad so for this white you go gats put 50%, you think say I no know how much you dey collect? God don catch you

No! You for ask like this

Sweety pie, please I need your help on this mara. You see I have spent 30 billion from my account. Even though I still dont understand why I did that, but as e be I need your help, if you can.

Since you know the kind of woman you are getting married to.
For which you deserve slap if you say you did not see these signs before saying Will you marry me.

This is my personal opi.

And by the way I shoot wedding videos, so patronise me. Check my site and see my jobs

Oga u have said it all,were u got me so much,is when u said,since he doesn't know the kind of woman he is getting married to, of which he deserves a slap,eh! I can't imagine a lot of men become sisi's these days.How on earth would u even think of proposing to a lady that stopped picking ur call just b/cos u allocated 50% of the weeding 's budget to her,of course they were red flags during courtship but he choose to ignore it.

1234IKECHhukwu:
Oga u have said it all,were u got me so much,is when u said,since he doesn't know the kind of woman he is getting married to, of which he deserves a slap,eh! I can't imagine a lot of men become sisi's these days.How on earth would u even think of proposing to a lady that stopped picking ur call just b/cos u allocated 50% of the weeding 's budget to her,of course they were red flags during courtship but he choose to ignore it.

Thank you brother. True he totally ignored the signs

First be sure that she stormed out for the reasons you stated. If indeed she did, then thank God that you dodged a bullet. A wedding is the first time a couple works together to deliver a project. Walking out during a discussion is a no-no and is a form of emotional blackmail. That is an immature way of behaving.