₦airaland Forum

Marriage Wahala

Thank God I haven’t seen a ‘Divorce her’ comment. Seems the children are still asleep
Ok OP you have been married for eight years it means you both have had your moments
Can you possibly trace back to when all was rosy between you two and try to recreate the incidence back. Trust me there must have been some activities you might have dropped as a result of over familiarity or with longevity of time

Your marriage will work. Start by having a very clear mind with no divorce option coming close then you can dialogue with your wife to work this out

Cheers

ProudFather:
Please respond. Also need help to push this topic to the front page! My marriage is in crisis and I need to make a decision please

If your story is ALL true,

Your wife has most likely cheated.

So what do you want to do?

And as Cococandy has said, do not let her flip the script on you.

Whether you are legit 'boring' or not, it is her duty to bring it to the fore.

And I think the 'lonely and boring' her friend told you is 'sexually unsatisfied'.

You need to ensure genuine repentance on her part.

Also depends on if she wants the marriage or not.

He can’t be married to someone who doesn’t want to be married to him.

yvesboss:
Marriage Wahala

Thank God I haven’t seen a ‘Divorce her’ comment. Seems the children are still asleep
Ok OP you have been married for eight years it means you both have had your moments
Can you possibly trace back to when all was rosy between you two and try to recreate the incidence back. Trust me there must have been some activities you might have dropped as a result of over familiarity or with longevity of time

Your marriage will work. Start by having a very clear mind with no divorce option coming close then you can dialogue with your wife to work this out

Cheers

You're married to an unconscientious woman - I hope you aren't one yourself - so you should've known from the inception that the least thing to expect from her is trustworthiness/fairness. And she isn't going to change from her perfidious ways, instead she'll now adopt a disingenuous approach to gloss her shenanigans, thereby giving you a feel of having a repentant wife. Your lack of willpower and discernment has been your biggest weakness so far.

You don't need a soothsayer to tell you that you've been living with a frenemy all this while. Unfortunately, from the connotation of your submissions, you lack the willpower to extricate yourself from both her emotional entanglement and machinations.

If you value your sanity in particular and wholeness in general, start now to squash your emotions towards her, that's the first step of creating an enabling distance you'll need to thrash the situation better.

bukatyne:
If your story is ALL true,

Your wife has most likely cheated.

So what do you want to do?

And as Cococandy has said, do not let her flip the script on you.

Whether you are legit 'boring' or not, it is her duty to bring it to the fore.

And I think the 'lonely and boring' her friend told you is 'sexually unsatisfied'.

You need to ensure genuine repentance on her part.

All true ma'am.

LordKO:
You're married to an unconscientious woman - I hope you aren't one yourself - so, you should've known from the inception that the least thing to expect from her is trustworthiness in particular and fairness in general. And she isn't going to change from her perfidious ways, instead she'll now adopt a disingenuous approach to gloss her shenanigans, thereby giving you a feel of having a repentant wife. Your lack of willpower and discernment have been your biggest weak point so far.

You don't need a soothsayer to tell you that you've been living with a frenemy all this while. Unfortunately from the connotation of your submissions, you lack the willpower to extricate yourself from both her emotional entanglement and machinations.

If you value your sanity in particular and wholeness in general, start now to squash your emotions towards her, that's the first step of creating an enabling distance you'll need to thrash the situation better.

Like I said, we have a six year old with a sweet disposition and a tender heart.

cococandy:
Also depends on if she wants the marriage or not.

He can’t be married to someone who doesn’t want to be married to him.

Very valid point. I hope not the case sha because if it is..... story for another day

ProudFather:
Like I said, we have a six year old with a sweet disposition and a tender heart.

That notwithstanding, your lack of willpower is very evident in your submissions. When you squash your emotion towards her and create a distance from her, you'll gain willpower. And your child will have his/her sanity intact through your altruistic and conscientious acts towards him. With this approach, you'll automatically established a formal-like relationship with her (your wife) which will enable you nip in the bud her nonsense actions and inactions, even while living in the same house (not same room though). With her behaviour, you don't owe her altruism and its benefits.

ProudFather:
Please respond. Also need help to push this topic to the front page! My marriage is in crisis and I need to make a decision please

I don’t like your wife
For a myriad of reasons catalysed by the fact that she brought her friend into the house after being found out, showing how little she regards you. (I am too occupied to delve into this, but a contrite person would have gone out and met a friend for advice)
And so on
It is obvious you are the one who loves more (and is weaker) in the partnership sha
So expect more of the same in future
Cheers

Stop being a beta male, do the needful stay low get your proofs and facts and put her in her place.

I concur with what others have said

But, what and who is this friend? Why is she a mediator between you and your wife? Please,quit asking her further questions about your wife, before she too will add sand sand in the garri

ProudFather:
Do you think she has cheated physically?

She spent two days hiding her phone and deleting stuff ...she no longer uses that email( email she has been using for over ten years) what baffled me the most is when I told her what her friend told me about what she said, she DENIED telling her friend that she was lonely and bored and that I'm boring. Okay oh, what did you then tell your friend?? No straight answer

shouldnt you just have asked her WHY WAS SHE CHATTING STRANGERS UP THEN (if not because you were "supposedly boring" )?
BTW you talk about your child etc but remember that this woman didnt care about your family when she went ahead and "did her thing". your child will be better off with two single happy parents than miserable married ones.

DominusPrime:
You are now revealing more things which you didn't mention in the beginning. At this point it is wise to assume she has done the worst until proven otherwise. That's the only way you can protect yourself from her if she's pretending to be remorseful and also keep your mind from being soft. Also know that at this point if u ask her how long she's been talking to him she'll most likely lie about it not to talk of if she's had video sex with him or physical sex.

if they have video chat then she most probably showed skin or even more.... she is certainly hiding something and thats why she deleted everything and changed email.

yvesboss:
Marriage Wahala

Thank God I haven’t seen a ‘Divorce her’ comment. Seems the children are still asleep
Ok OP you have been married for eight years it means you both have had your moments
Can you possibly trace back to when all was rosy between you two and try to recreate the incidence back. Trust me there must have been some activities you might have dropped as a result of over familiarity or with longevity of time

Your marriage will work. Start by having a very clear mind with no divorce option coming close then you can dialogue with your wife to work this out

Cheers

see as you A) are quick blame the OP for this nonsense and B) dismiss divorce as if it is a MUST to stay with this deceitful disrespectful dishonest untrustworthy woman.

the sad part here is that you cant reform the mind of a woman who went ahad in getting jiggy with someone AND who has tasted the forbidden fruit... IM fukcing POSSIBLE