₦airaland Forum

Uyi168:
..
Take is as his destiny...
Wtf does that mean?

movement2020:
What would you advice? . The last resort is divorce. Will that solve the problem? It will to a certain stage but if you put the welfare of the kids into consideration, the man has no choice than to let go. It is difficult, I know. The emotional trauma is enough for the boy in the nearest future.

The woman as well would need to re-trace her steps to ascertain the present location of the father. She may not even know. We can't judge her because we have not heard her own side of the story. That alone is psychological trauma for her.

The man would also be affected till he dies because, anything he thinks about it, he gets worried and disturbed.

At this stage, maturity sets in. This issue is not for the faint hearted at all.

See, life is very funny. Let me narrate a scenario. A guy impregnates a lady and refused to take responsibility. The lady at that stage is scared of abortion. She would have to find a way out. As a guy who happens to his fiance, she explains such to you, would you give her money to abort or you take responsibility or break up. Remember, you love her dearly, ready for marriage and this 6 happens.

Some guys would take responsibility while some would let her abort and some would break up.

Uyi168:
..
The part where u said is his destiny is what I don't get.......
The marriage is already gone...

pamidez:
First, this moniker was created for this purpose.

So here is my true life story...I wedded my wife (white and traditional) in early 2004 now a little over 15 years ago while I was around 25yrs old. The courtship was about a year and there was no premarital defilement which was encouraged by long distance relationship and above all our Biblical belief.

Now we have 2 children, a boy and a girl, and the first (i.e. a boy) does not look like me at all. He was conceived while she was schooling in one of the south western states (and living off camp) whereas I was in Lagos hustling to pay our bills. She took in immediately after her service and our first child is 12yrs plus.

Due to the free time caused by the CORVID19 effect I decided to clear my worries by doing DNA test on my 2 children and below is the summarized results:

1) SON
- Combined Paternity Index = 0
- Probability of Paternity = 0%

2) DAUGHTER
- Combined Paternity Index = 5,008,715,850
- Probability of Paternity = 99.99999998%

I have known about this result for almost a week now and I intend to file for divorce but the courts are virtually closed according to my lawyer.

Truth is DNA does NOT lie so should I still confront her with this my concrete evidence before the pending legal action?

Should I be bothered about what happens to the (innocent) boy?

Is there anything like mercy or forgiveness?

What else should I do at this moment?

Abeg, I do not want to commit murder during this period....please help!

Very mature advice-s could be sent directly to oludairo@yahoo.com

Emaprince:
As in...sit don look while he is deceived to believe that another mans child belongs to him?

Aren't you stupid and wicked like this?

Do you know what a man can go through on finding out his wife is sleeping around and even so foolish enough to get pregnant for another man that is not the husband, carry it for nine months and deliver for him to host a party, drink and rejoice over a baby that belongs to another man...while the LovePeddler watches in delight. She also put herself at a risk of STDS....having unprotected sex with a man not her husband. This is height of irresponsibility.

Emaprince:
As in...sit don look while he is deceived to believe that another mans child belongs to him?

Aren't you stupid and wicked like this?

Do you know what a man can go through on finding out his wife is sleeping around and even so foolish enough to get pregnant for another man that is not the husband, carry it for nine months and deliver for him to host a party, drink and rejoice over a baby that belongs to another man...while the LovePeddler watches in delight. She also put herself at a risk of STDS....having unprotected sex with a man not her husband. This is height of irresponsibility.

pocohantas:
Whatever you want to do, do.

Na your fellow man give am the belle. It is all part of the bro-code.

Take heart.

Cleanworld:
Brother, Some truth are creative commons taking to the grave.

Sit down Look. if you can.

movement2020:
Note : The lady was not married when she conceived. It was a long distance relationship that caused the havoc. Though, that is not an excuse.

movement2020:
What would you advice? . The last resort is divorce. Will that solve the problem? It will to a certain stage but if you put the welfare of the kids into consideration, the man has no choice than to let go. It is difficult, I know. The emotional trauma is enough for the boy in the nearest future.

The woman as well would need to re-trace her steps to ascertain the present location of the father. She may not even know. We can't judge her because we have not heard her own side of the story. That alone is psychological trauma for her.

The man would also be affected till he dies because, anything he thinks about it, he gets worried and disturbed.

At this stage, maturity sets in. This issue is not for the faint hearted at all.

See, life is very funny. Let me narrate a scenario. A guy impregnates a lady and refused to take responsibility. The lady at that stage is scared of abortion. She would have to find a way out. As a guy who happens to his fiance, she explains such to you, would you give her money to abort or you take responsibility or break up. Remember, you love her dearly, ready for marriage and this 6 happens.

Some guys would take responsibility while some would let her abort and some would break up.

movement2020:
What would you advice? . The last resort is divorce. Will that solve the problem? It will to a certain stage but if you put the welfare of the kids into consideration, the man has no choice than to let go. It is difficult, I know. The emotional trauma is enough for the boy in the nearest future.

The woman as well would need to re-trace her steps to ascertain the present location of the father. She may not even know. We can't judge her because we have not heard her own side of the story. That alone is psychological trauma for her.

The man would also be affected till he dies because, anything he thinks about it, he gets worried and disturbed.

At this stage, maturity sets in. This issue is not for the faint hearted at all.

See, life is very funny. Let me narrate a scenario. A guy impregnates a lady and refused to take responsibility. The lady at that stage is scared of abortion. She would have to find a way out. As a guy who happens to his fiance, she explains such to you, would you give her money to abort or you take responsibility or break up. Remember, you love her dearly, ready for marriage and this 6 happens.

Some guys would take responsibility while some would let her abort and some would break up.

movement2020:
Good the court are not in process. Good, you also have patience to ask on how to handle it perfectly. I appreciate that in you. You are manly.

Now, to the solution. It's going to be a hard one. I don't know how you can handle what am about to advise but with your patience and manly stand, I think you would be able.

Op, this life, we are faced with different tribulations. Yours will differ from mine. To be frank, you went too far and now you have to be bold enough to face the consequence. It's just like couples checking each other's phone. They will definitely see something they never planned. Either get depressed or break up.

You have two options but before you take any, let the children in question be your first reason to decide

The first option is, tell your wife and seek for divorce. If you divorce, your daughter would live separately which is a problem to you because rarely would have the chance to train her.

Second, take it as your destiny. The greatest secret you will take down to your grave. Accept fate, forgive and move on as if nothing happened. It's easy said than done but that's the truth. We all have secrets and this should be added to yours. Love your wife as well.

ibkayee:
This isn't a personal attack on the OP because I'm not privy to his personal life, but generally speaking, I wish this same level of outrage was expressed when it came to the incessant infidelities Nigerian wives are expected to endure. Lol can you imagine if males could conceive?

I feel bad for OP because I've read the details and there's a proximity that interacting with him on the forum brings that has forced allowed me to empathize with him as an individual. However, if it was a random headline somewhere I'd caught I'd probably laugh

ericsmith:
How is even relevant now, the worst a man can bring home from adulttery is infection, compare to women , a woman that cheat will either bring home infection, a bastard or death to d man.
There is an adage in yoruba that says "eni toh fe eni nii aya ofi oju re wo ni (the man bangin ur wife won't spare you a gud lntention.
Our forefathers are not stupid, another adage says if a woman that cheat no kill herself she will kill d husband.
I av never heard or seen a woman nursing a bastard cos d husband decieved her, these issue only affect men that is why there is so much outrage.

najib632:
you're mad.

movement2020:
Good the court are not in process. Good, you also have patience to ask on how to handle it perfectly. I appreciate that in you. You are manly.

Now, to the solution. It's going to be a hard one. I don't know how you can handle what am about to advise but with your patience and manly stand, I think you would be able.

Op, this life, we are faced with different tribulations. Yours will differ from mine. To be frank, you went too far and now you have to be bold enough to face the consequence. It's just like couples checking each other's phone. They will definitely see something they never planned. Either get depressed or break up.

You have two options but before you take any, let the children in question be your first reason to decide

The first option is, tell your wife and seek for divorce. If you divorce, your daughter would live separately which is a problem to you because rarely would have the chance to train her.

Second, take it as your destiny. The greatest secret you will take down to your grave. Accept fate, forgive and move on as if nothing happened. It's easy said than done but that's the truth. We all have secrets and this should be added to yours. Love your wife as well.

Uyi168:
..
Take is as his destiny...
Wtf does that mean?

ericsmith:
How is even relevant now, the worst a man can bring home from adulttery is infection, compare to women , a woman that cheat will either bring home infection, a bastard or death to d man.
There is an adage in yoruba that says "eni toh fe eni nii aya ofi oju re wo ni (the man bangin ur wife won't spare you a gud lntention.
Our forefathers are not stupid, another adage says if a woman that cheat no kill herself she will kill d husband.
I av never heard or seen a woman nursing a bastard cos d husband decieved her, these issue only affect men that is why there is so much outrage.

NoToPile:
@bolded Oh really Death nko.

As for the OP, so sorry you are passing through this betrayal, just ensure you confirm the child wasnt swapped or something, do a DNA test to confirm if its truly her own child.

God help you.

pamidez:
First, this moniker was created for this purpose.

So here is my true life story...I wedded my wife (white and traditional) in early 2004 now a little over 15 years ago while I was around 25yrs old. The courtship was about a year and there was no premarital defilement which was encouraged by long distance relationship and above all our Biblical belief.

Now we have 2 children, a boy and a girl, and the first (i.e. a boy) does not look like me at all. He was conceived while she was schooling in one of the south western states (and living off camp) whereas I was in Lagos hustling to pay our bills. She took in immediately after her service and our first child is 12yrs plus.

Due to the free time caused by the CORVID19 effect I decided to clear my worries by doing DNA test on my 2 children and below is the summarized results:

1) SON
- Combined Paternity Index = 0
- Probability of Paternity = 0%

2) DAUGHTER
- Combined Paternity Index = 5,008,715,850
- Probability of Paternity = 99.99999998%

I have known about this result for almost a week now and I intend to file for divorce but the courts are virtually closed according to my lawyer.

Truth is DNA does NOT lie so should I still confront her with this my concrete evidence before the pending legal action?

Should I be bothered about what happens to the (innocent) boy?

Is there anything like mercy or forgiveness?

What else should I do at this moment?

Abeg, I do not want to commit murder during this period....please help!

Very mature advice-s could be sent directly to oludairo@yahoo.com

ibkayee:
This isn't a personal attack on the OP because I'm not privy to his personal life, but generally speaking, I wish this same level of outrage was expressed when it came to the incessant infidelities Nigerian wives are expected to endure. Lol can you imagine if males could conceive?

I feel bad for OP because I've read the details and there's a proximity that interacting with him on the forum brings that has forced allowed me to empathize with him as an individual. However, if it was a random headline somewhere I'd caught I'd probably laugh

Belafonte:
What’s this nonsense? Do Nigerian women not cheat and have their husbands forgive them? Ask around and you’d be shocked to know how many Nigerian men have forgiven their cheating wives. Even on this forum, many have written epistles to that regard.

Passing off another person’s child as your spouse’s is totally incomparable to infidelity. They shouldn’t be mentioned in the same breath.

ibkayee:
I don't know the stats, but I know that cheating is normalized for men in Nigeria, a husband will cheat and his wife is expected to accept it as normal, take him and any of the outside children back and move on. But if it's the other way around, the same set of people will scream bloody murder

Belafonte:
Of course. A cop out after dropping your opinion.

ibkayee:
Lmao how is that a cop out? I’d already answered a similar question and resourcefully copied and pasted my answer

NoToPile:
@bolded Oh really Death nko.

As for the OP, so sorry you are passing through this betrayal, just ensure you confirm the child wasnt swapped or something, do a DNA test to confirm if its truly her own child.

God help you.