Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla - Family (11) - Nairaland
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| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by Nobody: 12:13am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Make Una go sleep !! crakkland is definitely high on crack n using us to catch trips |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by rain21(f): 12:21am On Apr 09, 2020 |
What?!!!!! Bullets flying over here!! |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by Mariangeles(f): 12:36am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Crakkland:Believe me, I have absolute no intention to make you feel bad, but simply stating the truth. It's not about liking you or not,I'm indifferent about you... it is just about the way you are. Your aura is negative. |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by duchaB(m): 12:40am On Apr 09, 2020*. Modified: 12:30pm On Apr 09, 2020 |
Mariangeles:Nwa.. Go.and sleep biko. Can't you see here can pollute you.. Kachifo! |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by emmaodet: 12:41am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Crakkland:Ok bro |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by Mariangeles(f): 12:41am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Crakkland:That is not valid as it is obvious to everyone that you two rapport, so anyone could've made that observation. I myself have noticed the both of you...it is glaring. |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by Mariangeles(f): 12:43am On Apr 09, 2020 |
duchaB:There's a juicy story I'm following on front page ![]() His mention brought me here ![]() |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by Mariangeles(f): 12:44am On Apr 09, 2020 |
OK. Goodnight! ![]() |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by tojahh(m): 6:45am On Apr 09, 2020*. Modified: 3:52pm On Apr 09, 2020 |
Mavis3:See how they've made you lost your home. SMH These people advising you, they are not married o. just so you know. one of them might even be the side baby mama in question. I wish you well in your new you. All the best but ill advise if you're leaving, ensure you do a documented divorce. |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by crackland: 6:52am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Mariangeles:Ohh please shvt it, Miss I'm indifferent.. That two people rapport means you should be asking consistently if they're dating.. and even going as far as saying shít about her and asking me to agree. ![]() So much jealousy... Can't you see that you and the person you're trying to defend have lost all sense of proportion? |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by tabithababy(f): 7:14am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Early this morning again ![]() |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by kaziblake(f): 7:35am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Sotland:I read all your comment and discovered one thing.. An hypocrite! |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by kaziblake(f): 7:38am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Sotland:See the way you advised her as if she is at fault..You are not okay at all |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by Sotland: 7:47am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Do you want me to say that you are dumb not to have noticed where I said that? You need not remind me of that..lol... I rarely do not answer people that approaches me with insult.. Channel your energy into getting a client that you can cook for or run errand than looking for who to insult.. If my opinion is not OK by you, just pass. You mustn't comment.. lol kaziblake: |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by Mavis3(op): 8:37am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Hello Everyone. I was to update yesterday and I opened the thread and saw a warzone. And I was confused. Please make we take am easy o. @Oyoolima I am doing fine. The pain is easing and i don't feel that much anger anymore. @ Bukatyne,. Fountainofyouth, Graxie, Merakhi, and all of all of I am still fine. I appreciate you all.@ Crackhuas take am easy and I appreciate your advice as well ![]() Hubby and I: We had a lengthy and intense conversation cos I need answers. I had alot of why's. It's so lengthy, but there was a lot of crying from both of us, regrets, anger and we just let it out. And alot of pleading from his end. At the end he said he wants his marriage to work and don't want to lose me.If only I will give him a chance, he will prove to me how sorry he is and make me happy again. He said if I want a separate account he is willing to do that but he is scared of me leaving him. He couldn't explain why it happened but said he is sorry for the betrayal and pain he caused me and for making me so unhappy. And he wants to make it right by me. He said Aunty will never bother me again and he will not bring up anything about the child until I am ready and comfortable talking about the child and his welfare and we will go by what I want regarding the child. I told him I have heard. But I really want to be alone for a while and get back my sanity. Told him I am still going to proceed for a leave once the lockdown is over and I won't be staying in town , I will be spending the leave at my brother's. He said that means he will take a leave too and he will inform my brother we are coming together to stay at at his place. I told him I want to go alone and that's the one he is raising face for now. Has been sulking since yesterday and funny, he is making calls and telling his friends we are travelling to see my people for a month after the lockdown. He said if closing the joint account will make me happy, he is ok with it. And that i never mentioned going back for further studies but if that is what I want to do it's stilll ok . Last night he asked me if we can start the adoption process immediately and what sex we would go for. I told him I can only talk about that after my leave. He also spoke about the surrogacy agency we contacted. He asked if I can hold on from school since I have a Masters and we channel the money for the surrogacy since I said the project we are working on should be on hold. I told him I can only give him a feedback at the end of my leave. Thank you all once again for checking on me and for all the advice and prayers. |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by Graxie(f): 8:52am On Apr 09, 2020*. Modified: 9:45am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Mavis3:Thank God for his marvellous help, you are doing well. Keep taking it one day at a time. You will surely pull through. I thank God for your kind of woman, strong and sound. I thank God that you are taking decision that will make you stronger not following the usual societal norms. It pays to know your value. I hope someday another woman going through such, will read this thread and learn. We have some individuals who are bent on making women feel less than human, they enjoy dishing out horrible advice all in the name of marriage without considering the emotional trauma of the woman involved. To them marriage is a woman's only achievement and so she must tolerate whatsoever no matter how weighty, it shows your husband is still sound not the typical ones we have here that have started jubiliating about more babies coming from baby mama. You truly need a me time, it will help you to get your esteem back. Please don't forget to keep praying, you need grace to finish strong. You will have your kids not as a revenge but as a gift from your maker. It is well!!! |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by sisisioge: 8:52am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Mavis3:Yes! This sounds so good! The surrogacy part especially. I know a woman that did hers. They had the baby and fell naturally preggers when baby was like 3 months. Baby A and B ended up being 1 year apart. Good luck. |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by Mavis3(op): 8:59am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Thank you so much Graxie. I love you plenty and God bless you too Graxie: |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by kaziblake(f): 9:00am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Sotland:I Pity your wife!You are an hypocrite! |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by Mavis3(op): 9:02am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Thank you dear. I appreciate your prayers and advice. sisisioge: |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by Misscongenialit: 9:08am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Mavis3:Hey girl, you are very strong and i admire your courage a lot. Pls continue to be strong and may God continue to make a way for you. Just my opiniom tho: if he wants to close the joint account , fine then u channel the funds to surrogacy or IVF. Pls dont take adoption option because his child will always be given priority over the adopted child for blood.so dont fall for that Dont give tye impression that u still have money otherwise u will be cajoled to use it for "family" now, whatever u re opting for whether surrogacy or ivf make sure you use everything in the joint savings Forget all thia his story, put on your thinking cap , leave love aside , begin to keep your personal money known to u alone or ur parents. No need to go on leave, the condition for staying is that u must begin planning the ivf or surrogacy now . If u leave , remember the aunt is still there, if she can convince him to have and keep a child, she can still convince him to bring the child and mother to ur house wen u are away. You have put so much into this marriage to just walk away leaving another bitch to enjoy ur sweat, stay and call the shots , this is the chance u have to get a child out of this marriage you have the knife and the yam. Be wise , stoop to conquer!! |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by Ibadiaran19: 9:08am On Apr 09, 2020 |
I wish you well Mavis3, whatever decision you decide to take. Always remember to look out for yourself, because no one else out there would. |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by Sotland: 9:11am On Apr 09, 2020 |
I really don't understand why you're so pained Ma....Please, I'll advice you go and look for your kind. I'm not on this platform to exchange insults..Henceforth, All attention denied.. E.O.D kaziblake: |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by Mavis3(op): 9:28am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Thank You so much. Misscongenialit: |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by bukatyne2: 9:29am On Apr 09, 2020*. Modified: 9:52am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Mavis3:Hello Mavis3, I am happy you have had the sit down with your husband and he sounds remorseful enough to make it work. You have also done your analysis and decided that your marriage/husband is worth 'fighting' for. I would rather you strike while iron is still hot than wait to go to your brother's place and back. You don't know how long the lockdown is thereafter, you want to stay with your brother for a month before coming back to take decisions with your husband. In the alternative, if your husband wants to join you to your brother's place, let him. You can still have your space to breathe. During this lockdown, take it to God in prayers, pray for His peace, healing, Strength etc. He promised the broken hearted healing, pray to him and also pray for clarity. Since you have decided to continue in your marriage, it would make no sense to do things to jeopardize the new found 'thingy' you both are trying to build with leaving pressing decisions till you are back months after. By then, he is probably moved on or toughened up. There is a reason people are told to address issues while fresh. All the best and you will have your babies. P.S.: You are really strong o! made me go through the hassle of creating an alternate account for the first time in my 8 years here. |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by bukatyne2: 9:30am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Misscongenialit:@Bold: I wish she realizes the urgency of time right now. As of now, she holds the yam and the knife. |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by perousd: 9:35am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Mavis3:Seek your pastor for prayer and advise. Tell him how you feel ... You need some sort of spiritual cover or the devil will take advantage of this temporal moment of weakness ... |
| Re: Indecisive And Unhappy. Advice Pla by bukatyne2: 9:50am On Apr 09, 2020 |
Mariangeles:I am addressing this post because I assume you are stable and sane from your posts in the kitchen thread. And in that assumption, I will ask you to point out where I told the OP to have a child out of revenge, jealousy or hatred? 1. Revenge: To whom? Did I tell her to get pregnant for another man? 2. Jealousy: Jealous of whom? The babymama or what? 3. Hatred: Who does she hate? All my posts to her is in relation to her having kids. Or does it not occur to you that she really wants kids which is why she has tried all sorts and exploring all options? OP has been trying to conceive for 9 years and the older the woman/man is, the more effort it takes to happen. For instance, once a woman is 35yrs, the IVF rates really drops because of egg quality and all. So when is the right time to conceive? When will she carry the babies? When will she train them? Or do you think more time (1 year, 2 years) will erase the betrayal she feels? I don't give feelgood impractical advises to be popular or politically correct. ![]() And please , don't quote me again without objectivity; I beg you as I am a plantain lover like you. Thank you. |
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I appreciate you all.
