akinade28:
Charles009
You married an extrovert most likely a sanguine. They enjoy talking. They relieve themselves from worries and stress by talking about themselves or other people. Introverts think before they talk, extrovert say whatever comes to their mind, then later think about.
That simply who she is and there's nothing can do about it. You can only help focus her energy on a different and purposeful direction. If you don't listen to her and stop her from talking to others that listen to her, you will get yourself a bitter and an angry woman.
You can encourage her to pursue career that involves her talking such as teaching, lecturering, journalism or radio or tv presenter, public speaking. They make excellent motivational speakers
Encourage her to join productive group that go about talking to other people like NGOs
Then take time to listen to her and correct her when she's saying the wrong things, if you do this she would take less time gossiping with other people and discussing the wrong things.
How would you feel if you come home one day and you meet your wife encouraging other people, other teach them to be better women, better wives, better mothers. I'm very sure you will be proud of her
The issue is not about gossiping or talking, it is saying the right things or the wrong things.

Thanks for your contribution. This is the reason I am doing all I can to ensure she becomes independent. Currently pursuing her masters, cos I don't know if she can cope in a typical Nigerian workplace.

charles009:

Hello folks, I have to put this here, cos I feel I have had enough. Please nobody should quote me cos I intend taking this post down afterwards.

I have issues dealing with a very weak wife(27), mostly where her friends and neighbours are. Since I married her 4 years ago I have allowed her handle things her way and its always from one issue to another. Always disturbing me with irrelevant gossips that wouldn't put food on my table. I paid heavily for a fashion designer school, still same issue of madam versus students bullshit. In feb I asked her to stop, so I can have peace, thanks to covid 19. When I decided I have had enough, I told her I wouldn't want to see anybody in my house going forward, since they have turned my house to a gossip zone whenever I am away at work. Once, she hears peoples voice, she opens my door and starts hailing people who its obvious are unhappy with my decision, they even teamed against her. I see her actions as plain weakness.

I have tried dialogue, yet no improvement. So I decided to go very hard on her. I told her that anytime I see her with those click of friends, I would not hesitate to embarrass her outside. This morning, she had gone to get mop then begins the regular gist, I had to immediately shout her to go inside.

Its obvious that my mode of life contradicts her way of life, I have decided to bend a little bit to accomodate her. Once I drive out, kapish my house becomes a meeting ground, all sorts of gossips in the estate are disclosed.

Am I going too hard on her or is there any better way to handle this.

Please DONT QUOTE ME..

I think you're a weak man too...hope one day you won't beat your wife.
Let her be...you both are not the same

Does she work? Be sincere. Just forget all these people on nairaland who badmouth the op instead of giving advice. If she doesnt, try to get her a teaching job in a govt school (govt worker things) she would thrive well there. I didn't say private because her loquacious nature might bring more harm than good, individual business owners are not so patient with their employers but the government sector will give her all the opportunity to do her job, jist as much as she wants, keep her busy plus steady income. She will also learn from her colleagues because in as much as people think teachers no hold level, na lie. You need to see the competition there. No one will tell her to step up her game.

sounds like you are an introvert and she is an extrovert. The more you try to get her to be quiet, the more loud she will be. think about it- the more people try to encourage you to gist, the more tired and quiet you are probably becoming.

Lizzyangel:
you can't change people...but environment attimes changes people a lot.....my piece of advice,

1....kindly relocate to a more isolated area...e.g and estate or new site where people are lesser in the compound and area and ensure your neighbors are all working.


2....After relocating...try to get a job or shop for her...or you buy her a laptop where you'll ask her to type 50pages per day before you come back from work that its a piece you'd be using at work.


3....Introduce her to Nairaland....she will get tired of their gist and will always want to check the latest news and also learn some things about life on Family section.



Trying to change her won't work out soon.
Best of lucks Sir.

That no 2 ehnn!

cococandy:
@bold, she needs to be more mature. This will be like handling a baby if he does all that for her. She needs to grow up.

Thanks a lot for yesterday...more blessings in Jesus name

Lizzyangel:



Thanks a lot for yesterday...more blessings in Jesus name

aww you’re welcome. Amen.

It’s really alright. Stop thanking me.

Keketu:
hi, good morning please pm me Thank ms

good morning Sir...I don't do email things as I'm only using airtel free basics to surf NL.

hope all is well?

cococandy:
aww you’re welcome. Amen.

It’s really alright. Stop thanking me.

I'm using free basics....I would have loved to share the pictures of the things I got yesterday from what you sent and cuddlebugie with Mrs Eniodunmo....I rushed to POS and went straight to the market to get the basic hospital list at least to avoid me from being highly embarrassed by our Nurses and Matrons on delivery date.....Honestly,you women really made my day yesterday,I pray heaven will also answer all your silent prayers...

I'm still having a couple of months to deliver,I'm trusting in God that laid it in your Minds to help me to provide other basic needs of mine according to his riches in glory.

if schools can reopen before the month ends,I can still work for a month with my lesson fees,this should also do some wonders....God,please heal our Land.

I'm very grateful Mas

Safe delivery when it’s time

Lizzyangel:



I'm using free basics....I would have loved to share the pictures of the things I got yesterday from what you sent and cuddlebugie with Mrs Eniodunmo....I rushed to POS and went straight to the market to get the basic hospital list at least to avoid me from being highly embarrassed by our Nurses and Matrons on delivery date.....Honestly,you women really made my day yesterday,I pray heaven will also answer all your silent prayers...

I'm still having a couple of months to deliver,I'm trusting in God that laid it in your Minds to help me to provide other basic needs of mine according to his riches in glory.

if schools can reopen before the month ends,I can still work for a month with my lesson fees,this should also do some wonders....God,please heal our Land.

I'm very grateful Mas

cococandy:
Safe delivery when it’s time

amen...I'll get you informed

Lizzyangel:


good morning Sir...I don't do email things as I'm only using airtel free basics to surf NL.

hope all is well?

thanks, please is that your picture? wow

southniyikaye:
you are an illiterate, he said it like twice,
Pls don't quote me and you went ahead to quote him?

lol bro you harsh oo.
Is Ybaby also an illiterate ? He/she too quote na

Emdee590:
lol bro you harsh oo.
Is Ybaby also an illiterate ? He/she too quote na

Well! I dont take orders from him. If he did not want us to quote he should have kept his business away from NL

highbee02:





That no 2 ehnn!

You can relate abi
That punishment much oo

Lizzyangel:
you can't change people...but environment attimes changes people a lot.....my piece of advice,




3....Introduce her to Nairaland....she will get tired of their gist and will always want to check the latest news and also learn some things about life on Family section.



Trying to change her won't work out soon.
Best of lucks Sir.

Op should not even try to be introduce her to Nairaland because his marriage won't last a day if he does. Nairaland is the most toxic place to be.

Lizzyangel:
you can't change people...but environment attimes changes people a lot.....my piece of advice,

1....kindly relocate to a more isolated area...e.g and estate or new site where people are lesser in the compound and area and ensure your neighbors are all working.


2....After relocating...try to get a job or shop for her...or you buy her a laptop where you'll ask her to type 50pages per day before you come back from work that its a piece you'd be using at work.


3....Introduce her to Nairaland....she will get tired of their gist and will always want to check the latest news and also learn some things about life on Family section.



Trying to change her won't work out soon.
Best of lucks Sir.

Op should not introduce her to Nairaland o, if he does his marriage won't last a month. Nairaland is too toxic o.

Sir look for something that she loves doing and let her do it as a job to keep her busy and let her channel that strength of talking/gossiping into marketing her busy
You can't change her but she can Chanel that passion of Gossip into something better/productive
Also make her understand and reason with you on how that relationship is toxic to her marriage...make her your FRIEND

I don't understand men.

You marry certain kind of women because you want a woman you can control without a mind of her own possibly; you enjoy that part and then complain about these other sides.

You left ambitious, front facing women to marry the one whose only goal seems to be to gist and gossip local league but I guess she cooks cleans and calls you Sir which may be what you wanted in the first place.

Please manage her like that, you cannot take benefits of an non- ambitious woman and complain about the challenges.

It is a package deal

Emdee590:
You can relate abi That punishment much oo

Very well

ifex370:


Get your wife a job.

You just had to quote him to type this nonsense despite his warning.

The door by which you came in, is the door another shall use in coming in!

That which you saw in her, others see too!

So long as she remains weak, nothing you do shall work.

Strengthen her if you dare, for the Cure for weakness is Strength.

please leave your wife alone,what is it with ordinary gossip that you men always find disgusting,atleast she no kill person, it's just a harmless gossip,please allow her enjoy her youthful life.I can't do without gossip too, does that make me a bad person? please leave her alone