₦airaland Forum

I wonder why some people would start an article by declaring they would be brief in their write-up only to end up writing such a boringly long essay. The most annoying part in this particular "writeup" is that the writer kept mentioning 'long story short' at every interval but proceeded to deliberately make the story even longer!

You get sense die I swear.

sisisioge:
Hmmmm....inside life!

1. Your Uncle and Aunty really tried for you. They collectively did more than your parents did so you should be very grateful to them. Get this and stop being bitter about it, it will help you further release yourself and them.

2. Comparing yourself to their kids shouldn't even happen...they weren't your parents, they were nice people who took you in. I understand how you might have felt differently though...thank goodness it was in the past. Everyone is running a different race...you apparently still think you and your cousins are still on the same track hence your conscious and subconscious comparison. Free your mind...move on and you will stop seeing their mother gossiping in your dream.

3. In your hearts of heart you still think you didn't quite do enough for them, hence the reason you kept dreaming about her. Free you mind, talk to a therapist if you have too or pray and speak with her in your spirit. You did nothing wrong... Have that conversation in your mind, believe it and move on.

May God bless you with peace...peace supersedes any other thing in this dear life.

Your uncle did more than your parent ever did for you yet they are the ones you blame. Go talk to your Mother who according to you was busy giving birth to every dick that comes around her, for failing to be responsible for her actions.

Your uncle and Aunt didnt do anything wrong to you.

charlesELIKIBA:
HELLP NAIRALANDERS

I will be brief with my writeup as much as possible so I can explain my connection with this lady.

My single mom gave me away at a tender age of 5 to her elder brother (financial difficulties i assume), this ''aunty'' happens to be the wife of this my mother's elder brother.

Aready they had 4 children, all boys.

The home was a tough upbringing with strict rules about socialising, we weren't allowed to bring friends home or go to friends places. It was pretty strict and my uncles wife i would say was the mastermind of it all, she was strict and mean maybe because it was a house of 5 boys.

Growing up in my uncles home, I wouldn't say I was treated diffrently because I always got matching outfits with my uncle's children during christmas, gifts during christmas, same portions of food BUT IN ALL I was always scared of doing somethings my cousins would do. I didn't feel free growing up, i felt diffrent from them. In some cases they attended the best schools than I (but I never attended a govt. school or a bad private school).

It's like if their school fees was 1m naira per term, mine would be 150,000 per term.

I lived with them until I was about 16 or 17 and one morning I woke up and they said i was going back to my mother at 15 or 16 like any kid, you would start to develop conscience (sense), maybe breaking some rules and being stubborn just like their own kids. This I assume was why they wanted to send me back to my mother OTHERWISE I CAN THINK OF NOTHING ELSE I DID WRONG OR DIFFRENT.

In all of these years living with them, I saw my mother as a strange person. I had no motherly connection with her. My anty to me, was my real mother. Whenever we went visiting my mother in very rare occasions, it was always awkward.

Well long story short, I found myself back in my mother's arms, to a new environment i knew nothing about and starting to learn to live with a woman called my mother. I was naive, had no choice but to accept realities on ground. Do you know that feeling of living in a pouch house and wake up next morning in a 1 room surrounded by thick bushes. Yes that was the change.

I was enrolled into a school, my uncle was repeatedly forced to send/ pay my schoolfees until i was in ss3 and i called him to inform him about waec enrolment. He told me on the phone ''all the exams i have been writing, how many have i passed'' and that was it. He never sent a dime anymore meanwhile at this point his children, my cousins were already miles ahead of me suddenly in education. When i left the home, the eldest son went to canada to school, the second who is my agemate was already in a private uni in Nigeria and the 3rd who i am senior to with a year is preparing to go to ukraine for school and years later the last born who i spoonfed and chewed meat for attended uni in Ghana.

Well long story short, since my uncle had failed me. My mother said it was time i go to my father. My father was old retired pensioner. My mother took me to him, as expected awkward encounter. I have never known this man, no memory of him. Well he said he would find my enrolment money and he did, he later passed on a year or two later.

I enrolled waec and pased in one sitting, thanks to miracle centres.

PS: i must say i was never an intelligent student. i wasn't even average but i wasn't the poorest and neither of my uncles children were better. We were all poor educationally.

Long story short another uncle sprang up and paid for my university diploma which i later acquiried.


YEARS LATER my uncle and aunty decided to move back to our home town, please note the home my mother stayed in was this my uncles home. It was the boy quarters, the main house was not even in sight as at the time i was returned to my mother. We did series of bush clearing and snakes killing lol. well my uncle returned home town after retirement and setup the main structure ( a 5 bed room duplex) and thats were they lived while i and my mother lived in the BQ.

I WAS very angry with myself that i happened to still live with them AGAIN, i needed to get out of their sight, my condition was bad. i was a mere teacher to some rickety school. In all of this my uncle's wife always ensured she knew what i was upto and she derived satisfaction when she knew i wasn't doing better than her kids who were all abroad. i turned to their errand boy again after years of neglect. i was very angry with myself and needed to save to get out of the house.

Well i did manage to save up and leave the house and i promised myself never to return to that house. i felt neglected, i felt they sent me away because the goodthings were coming and they couldn't bear to see me share in them because to me they were my parents.


YEARS LATER, my aunty was sick with cancer
please note before i left the home, my uncle and aunty always sent me to travel journeys to get them medicines from a monastry. i attended such trips severally and ran other seperate errands but i never dared to drive their car talkless ask for the key. i always washed their car in the mornings, i would never also dare to see myself in the living room of the duplex with the remote in hand. when they moved back to the hometown, that fear in my childhood started again but this time i was mature enough to know i would never m amount to anything in life if i continued this again hence the reason i needed to move out.

So my aunty sickness grew worse, the husband flew her to india and back but the sickness grew worse. in all of this cancer times i never went back to the house to see her. I only heard of her conditions from my siblings (my half siblings, my mother was married to 3 men in diffrent years and she had only me for my father, another for another man and 3 for another man, i was the lastborn of all).

Then my aunty died. The day she died, i saw her in my dreams and she was crying saying ''she forgave me''. A day or two later i went to my sisters store and she told me of my aunty death, i went to my rented apartment and cried profusely. i later summouned courage and maybe sympathy and went to my uncles house and i cried before my uncle and told him to forgive me too for all abandoning them all this while.

NOW ABOUT MY AUNTY SAYING SHE FORGAVE ME IN THE DREAM: i did not do her any wrong neither did i wish death on her. All her life her greatest fear was maybe i would become greater than her children. She loved these comparisms, i was never wicked to her, i never cursed her, i was never rude to her unless i some instances when she sends me errands and i tell her i have other things to do.... Otherwise i never was negative to her instead she is the one nobody likes, by nobody i mean my uncles family. Nobody talks good of her, they say she controls my uncle and also squandered his money but in all of this i never spoke of my experiences living with them and somethings they did wrong that made me feel diffrent, i did not even tell you guys neither have i told my mother ever. i don't see them as anything that would stop my growth in life. i hate to talk about the bad in people.

WELL BACK TO REASON THE TOPIC WAS CREATED, why do i keep repeatedly seeing her in my dreams even after her death and its always on a negative role. its either in the dream she still plays mother, or she is gossip about me in the dream or she is against me in the dream, just think of anything negative in a dream and she will be the mastermind. This is really beginning to worry me. Why is she still attached to me in the dreams?

After she died, her husband, my uncle started his own sickness but has been sick for years now, he is bed ridden. The family has repeatedly asked him if there is anything he and his late wife did in the past to amount such sickness were he is living in pain but refused to die and he would not answer. One time they said, he said ''it was out of ignorance'' and thats all he ever said about anything.

It will also be good to note that of all my 4 cousin brothers and i today, i am the most successful by far.

i just finished my house (a 3bedroom, 2 bedroom, 1 bedrrom bungalow)
january this year i bought my 3rd car.
i travel round the world effortlessly.
YES I DID TURN OUT FAR BETTER THAN MY COUSINS WHO YOU KNOW HAD THE BEST EDUCATION.

I don't want to talk of their conditions, lets concentrate on me.


So this is my much writeup... I had to skip many things so you can bear to read but please be free to ask me questions.

Why do I repeatedly see my aunty in my dreams.... just before this writeup, i had just woken up from another dream she was present in, she was whispering to the ears of a very good friend of mine and then the friends turned to me and was like '' ah cahrles na so you be''?...and i was angry and was like '' how can you believe something someone you just met told you against i your best friends word'' and minutes later dream ended and i woke up.

At this point i am thinking of going spiritual to know why this is happening but this will be a first in my life. There are two popular places i have never being in my life until lately last year... One is a shrine and the other is a police station. Last year was my first time to be in a police station.
I was driving my unregistered car. That was my offence.

Sir give your life to Jesus, repent of your sins and submit yourself under God's mighty power and u will be okay

charlesELIKIBA:
oh wow.
this has got to be my best read so far.
you maybe right about comparison because sometimes I feel anything my cousins are today is out of their fathers wealth and not a fresh beginning like mine. that's the only comparison I can think of
truth is for me I have blamed my own mother the most, you know for giving me out.
to be honest if I have anger for anyone on if I was treated differently, that anger will be on my mother.
and this has affected our mother, son relationship.... it's not there at all.
I am beginning to think I know what to do.

it's just poped on me after reading what you wrote. maybe my uncles wife is expecting of me like a son because I have refused to recognise my mother as my true mother. just maybe this is the connection that needs to be broken. I need to love my mother more and unconditionally.

I think I need to talk to my mother about how i feel. oh boy can belive I am teary just writing this sentence. I feel this is it really.

MODIFIED: I FINALLY SPOKE TO MY MOM ABOUT IT.

I spoke to my mother today and she said my cousins were crying they wanted me to stay with them at their base (this was after she and I, I was 4yrs old when we visited them the first time.)
at that time my cousins were 5yrs, 4yrs and 3yrs respectively.

so when they revisited hometown, on their way back to the base the kids were crying uncontrollably and my uncle and the wife couldn't bear it anymore and they had to turn back to come pick me up.

she said it wasn't that she couldn't care for me in a own little or do we say penury way (even tho I still feel as a mother she could have insisted the most but she did it of freewill. if you can't trust anybody with your kid at least not your blood brother)(but she has a history of her kids not spend childhood with her, so I find it as a cheap excuse from her)

years later she said she ask my uncle why he returned me and he said it was the devils work.

we just had this discussion tonight and all this while I tot she just begged them to cater for me.

you see why communication and confrontatiin is always key before conclusion?

I think seeing her in your dream doing those things about you is the revision of the evil she has done to you when she was alive. God only revealed your eyes to see the bad seed she has sowed.
You have nothing to scared of. Just continue your life and don't forget prayer which is the key to every spiritual battles. Best luck man.

ModestGal:
Fear of surpassing her children'' please how do you know this? Do you live in her mind? The reason you think this way is because subconsciously, you are already in competition with the children, which is not your fault and quite natural for children to be in competition, but becomes a sickness when you take it to your adults life.

calm down it was obvious cos we were adults ..... I said after graduation

u don't know the whole story.

I even lost a better job cos she wouldn't push further

Good Movie

You need to let go all grudges against ur uncles family, be at peace with all men.

No matter what, your uncle and the family did their best, played a part in ur life to make u where u are today. U felt she never wanted u to be ahead of ur cousin but that motivated u to push hard in life to be where u are today. So be greatful.

Whether it was ur cousins that wanted u to come stay with then or it was ur mums idea.....she meant good for you gaining basic education at that early stage helped u, all things worketh out for good to you. Show love to ur mum now you still have her around and to ur uncle, cousin's. Then you will have inner peace not to see ur aunty speaking ill of u.

Seek a spiritual attention. God made u to passed tru that process for u to understand life better.

The best place u could have been was in ur uncle's place at that tym. God wanted u there to know other side of life. Do not blame ur mom.

Pls bring your cousins together.. If u need to assist them if they require, pls do.

Ask ur mom if she know anytg abt ur aunty's death.. I hv heard of a similar case.. Pls dnt quote me wrongly..

Call me for more informations.. 0. 8 0. 3. 3. 1. 8. 6. 3. 9. 9 if the case is urs purely as u narrated.

Thank u
Prince

charlesELIKIBA:
HELLP NAIRALANDERS

I will be brief with my writeup as much as possible so I can explain my connection with this lady.

My single mom gave me away at a tender age of 5 to her elder brother (financial difficulties i assume), this ''aunty'' happens to be the wife of this my mother's elder brother.

Aready they had 4 children, all boys.

The home was a tough upbringing with strict rules about socialising, we weren't allowed to bring friends home or go to friends places. It was pretty strict and my uncles wife i would say was the mastermind of it all, she was strict and mean maybe because it was a house of 5 boys.

Growing up in my uncles home, I wouldn't say I was treated diffrently because I always got matching outfits with my uncle's children during christmas, gifts during christmas, same portions of food BUT IN ALL I was always scared of doing somethings my cousins would do. I didn't feel free growing up, i felt diffrent from them. In some cases they attended the best schools than I (but I never attended a govt. school or a bad private school).

It's like if their school fees was 1m naira per term, mine would be 150,000 per term.

I lived with them until I was about 16 or 17 and one morning I woke up and they said i was going back to my mother at 15 or 16 like any kid, you would start to develop conscience (sense), maybe breaking some rules and being stubborn just like their own kids. This I assume was why they wanted to send me back to my mother OTHERWISE I CAN THINK OF NOTHING ELSE I DID WRONG OR DIFFRENT.

In all of these years living with them, I saw my mother as a strange person. I had no motherly connection with her. My anty to me, was my real mother. Whenever we went visiting my mother in very rare occasions, it was always awkward.

Well long story short, I found myself back in my mother's arms, to a new environment i knew nothing about and starting to learn to live with a woman called my mother. I was naive, had no choice but to accept realities on ground. Do you know that feeling of living in a pouch house and wake up next morning in a 1 room surrounded by thick bushes. Yes that was the change.

I was enrolled into a school, my uncle was repeatedly forced to send/ pay my schoolfees until i was in ss3 and i called him to inform him about waec enrolment. He told me on the phone ''all the exams i have been writing, how many have i passed'' and that was it. He never sent a dime anymore meanwhile at this point his children, my cousins were already miles ahead of me suddenly in education. When i left the home, the eldest son went to canada to school, the second who is my agemate was already in a private uni in Nigeria and the 3rd who i am senior to with a year is preparing to go to ukraine for school and years later the last born who i spoonfed and chewed meat for attended uni in Ghana.

Well long story short, since my uncle had failed me. My mother said it was time i go to my father. My father was old retired pensioner. My mother took me to him, as expected awkward encounter. I have never known this man, no memory of him. Well he said he would find my enrolment money and he did, he later passed on a year or two later.

I enrolled waec and pased in one sitting, thanks to miracle centres.

PS: i must say i was never an intelligent student. i wasn't even average but i wasn't the poorest and neither of my uncles children were better. We were all poor educationally.

Long story short another uncle sprang up and paid for my university diploma which i later acquiried.


YEARS LATER my uncle and aunty decided to move back to our home town, please note the home my mother stayed in was this my uncles home. It was the boy quarters, the main house was not even in sight as at the time i was returned to my mother. We did series of bush clearing and snakes killing lol. well my uncle returned home town after retirement and setup the main structure ( a 5 bed room duplex) and thats were they lived while i and my mother lived in the BQ.

I WAS very angry with myself that i happened to still live with them AGAIN, i needed to get out of their sight, my condition was bad. i was a mere teacher to some rickety school. In all of this my uncle's wife always ensured she knew what i was upto and she derived satisfaction when she knew i wasn't doing better than her kids who were all abroad. i turned to their errand boy again after years of neglect. i was very angry with myself and needed to save to get out of the house.

Well i did manage to save up and leave the house and i promised myself never to return to that house. i felt neglected, i felt they sent me away because the goodthings were coming and they couldn't bear to see me share in them because to me they were my parents.


YEARS LATER, my aunty was sick with cancer
please note before i left the home, my uncle and aunty always sent me to travel journeys to get them medicines from a monastry. i attended such trips severally and ran other seperate errands but i never dared to drive their car talkless ask for the key. i always washed their car in the mornings, i would never also dare to see myself in the living room of the duplex with the remote in hand. when they moved back to the hometown, that fear in my childhood started again but this time i was mature enough to know i would never m amount to anything in life if i continued this again hence the reason i needed to move out.

So my aunty sickness grew worse, the husband flew her to india and back but the sickness grew worse. in all of this cancer times i never went back to the house to see her. I only heard of her conditions from my siblings (my half siblings, my mother was married to 3 men in diffrent years and she had only me for my father, another for another man and 3 for another man, i was the lastborn of all).

Then my aunty died. The day she died, i saw her in my dreams and she was crying saying ''she forgave me''. A day or two later i went to my sisters store and she told me of my aunty death, i went to my rented apartment and cried profusely. i later summouned courage and maybe sympathy and went to my uncles house and i cried before my uncle and told him to forgive me too for all abandoning them all this while.

NOW ABOUT MY AUNTY SAYING SHE FORGAVE ME IN THE DREAM: i did not do her any wrong neither did i wish death on her. All her life her greatest fear was maybe i would become greater than her children. She loved these comparisms, i was never wicked to her, i never cursed her, i was never rude to her unless i some instances when she sends me errands and i tell her i have other things to do.... Otherwise i never was negative to her instead she is the one nobody likes, by nobody i mean my uncles family. Nobody talks good of her, they say she controls my uncle and also squandered his money but in all of this i never spoke of my experiences living with them and somethings they did wrong that made me feel diffrent, i did not even tell you guys neither have i told my mother ever. i don't see them as anything that would stop my growth in life. i hate to talk about the bad in people.

WELL BACK TO REASON THE TOPIC WAS CREATED, why do i keep repeatedly seeing her in my dreams even after her death and its always on a negative role. its either in the dream she still plays mother, or she is gossip about me in the dream or she is against me in the dream, just think of anything negative in a dream and she will be the mastermind. This is really beginning to worry me. Why is she still attached to me in the dreams?

After she died, her husband, my uncle started his own sickness but has been sick for years now, he is bed ridden. The family has repeatedly asked him if there is anything he and his late wife did in the past to amount such sickness were he is living in pain but refused to die and he would not answer. One time they said, he said ''it was out of ignorance'' and thats all he ever said about anything.

It will also be good to note that of all my 4 cousin brothers and i today, i am the most successful by far.

i just finished my house (a 3bedroom, 2 bedroom, 1 bedrrom bungalow)
january this year i bought my 3rd car.
i travel round the world effortlessly.
YES I DID TURN OUT FAR BETTER THAN MY COUSINS WHO YOU KNOW HAD THE BEST EDUCATION.

I don't want to talk of their conditions, lets concentrate on me.


So this is my much writeup... I had to skip many things so you can bear to read but please be free to ask me questions.

Why do I repeatedly see my aunty in my dreams.... just before this writeup, i had just woken up from another dream she was present in, she was whispering to the ears of a very good friend of mine and then the friends turned to me and was like '' ah cahrles na so you be''?...and i was angry and was like '' how can you believe something someone you just met told you against i your best friends word'' and minutes later dream ended and i woke up.

At this point i am thinking of going spiritual to know why this is happening but this will be a first in my life. There are two popular places i have never being in my life until lately last year... One is a shrine and the other is a police station. Last year was my first time to be in a police station.
I was driving my unregistered car. That was my offence.

@ CharlesElikiba, your entire mentality and psychological mindset needs to experience a truthful shift.

Every teenager goes through some moment of questioning a parent's love due to disciplinary measures. It's even tougher for a relative living with cousins. It does not mean that those parents were wicked.

Now that you are successful, I'll implore you to go bring in all of your less privileged nieces and nephews and other family relatives under your care and continue to TRAIN them till adulthood until they are all successful. If you do not do that, or stop midway, you would be making yourself a BIG HYPOCRITE, having castigated your Uncle and his wife.

The truth is the status of a child living with a relative is not the same as the status of the children of the relative. Parents already have a plan on expenditure to train their children. If a child of another comes into the fold, there's only a limit to which the parents can take care of such a child indefinitely, especially when the child is not particularly showing prospect, judging from what you stated. It's understandable for a teenager to see this as wickedness, but I'll expect that upon transition to adulthood, you'd have a better perspective of things. AND YOU HAVE NOT PARTICULARLY STATED ANY SPECIFIC MALTREATMENT THEY METED OUT TO YOU OTHER THAN THE USUAL ERRANDS EVERY ONE OF US EXPERIENCED AS A TEENAGER. Your parents should have been responsible for your education and WAEC. That your Uncle did not fund your WAEC does not mean he is evil. After all, the main reason he did that was that he knew you were not going to pass, and you yourself admitted so! If not for miracle centers which is fraud.

You are in a mental competition with your cousins who may not even know that they are in competition with you. So, your mind is the one in fetters You need to purge yourself of the ill-advised pent-up resentments, bitterness, envy and the likes that you've harboured all these years. Dreams are usually as a result of feelings that we've intensely and continually thought about over time. Once you free your mind, the dream about your aunty should stop.

That you are successful now does not change the need to rid yourself of unnecessary bad energy in form of unhealthy rivalry and angst.

charlesELIKIBA:
lol abroad?
I have being abroad myself ten times over.
no I don't have any resentments.
it's just an "I don't care feeling ".
as for comparison with my cousins, well that was my driving force in the beginning, now it's no competition whatsoever.

that being said like you asked,my conscience is 1001% clean.
i have never done anything diabolical in my life.

Nobody owe you anything in this world. If anything, you should be grateful to them!!!!
You have complex issues! You need to ask for forgiveness

ThierryJay:
@ CharlesElikiba, your entire mentality and psychological mindset needs to experience a truthful shift.

Every teenager goes through some moment of questioning a parent's love due to disciplinary measures. It's even tougher for a relative living with cousins. It does not mean that those parents were wicked.

Now that you are successful, I'll implore you to go bring in all of your less privileged nieces and nephews and other family relatives under your care and continue to TRAIN them till adulthood until they are all successful. If you do not do that, or stop midway, you would be making yourself a BIG HYPOCRITE, having castigated your Uncle and his wife.

The truth is the status of a child living with a relative is not the same as the status of the children of the relative. Parents already have a plan on expenditure to train their children. If a child of another comes into the fold, there's only a limit to which the parents can take care of such a child indefinitely, especially when the child is not particularly showing prospect, judging from what you stated. It's understandable for a teenager to see this as wickedness, but I'll expect that upon transition to adulthood, you'd have a better perspective of things. AND YOU HAVE NOT PARTICULARLY STATED ANY SPECIFIC MALTREATMENT THEY METED OUT TO YOU OTHER THAN THE USUAL ERRANDS EVERY ONE OF US EXPERIENCED AS A TEENAGER. Your parents should have been responsible for your education and WAEC. That your Uncle did not fund your WAEC does not mean he is evil. After all, the main reason he did that was that he knew you were not going to pass, and you yourself admitted so! If not for miracle centers which is fraud.

You are in a mental competition with your cousins who may not even know that they are in competition with you. So, your mind is the one in fetters You need to purge yourself of the ill-advised pent-up resentments, bitterness, envy and the likes that you've harboured all these years. Dreams are usually as a result of feelings that we've intensely and continually thought about over time. Once you free your mind, the dream about your aunty should stop.

That you are successful now does not change the need to rid yourself of unnecessary bad energy in form of unhealthy rivalry and angst.

I wouldn't even start what I can't finish ok

phockallmods:
Nobody owe you anything in this world. If anything, you should be grateful to them!!!!
You have complex issues! You need to ask for forgiveness

your head dey shake.
ask forgiveness for what?
you must be high.

The man and woman tried for you o. Well, not all dreams send messages . your aunty doesn't mean any harm. Just pray for her and don't imagine that she has issues with you. May her soul rest with the lord.

charlesELIKIBA:
I wouldn't even start what I can't finish ok

Now you see! I am happy that you eventually found success, given the circumstances. However, to enjoy the success, you need to let go of the pains and strings from childhood. I don't think it's the fault of your Uncle and his wife that they took you in initially since you stated that they had initially left you but had to come back due to the insistence of their children for you to join them.

The genesis of this whole issue is that you saw your uncle and wife as your parents, but they did not see you as their biological son. This is the fact. However, this does not mean they are evil. It is simply a difference in expectations.

Your experience is a sad reality for many Nigerian children who look upon richer relatives as a means to escape misery but whose hopes get dashed when the relatives appear to not cater for them to their desired extent. This is where resentment from extended family members usually stem from.

Change your mindset and even reach out to your uncle and see yourself attain even greater level of success.

charlesELIKIBA:
HELLP NAIRALANDERS

I will be brief with my writeup as much as possible so I can explain my connection with this lady.

My single mom gave me away at a tender age of 5 to her elder brother (financial difficulties i assume), this ''aunty'' happens to be the wife of this my mother's elder brother.

Aready they had 4 children, all boys.

The home was a tough upbringing with strict rules about socialising, we weren't allowed to bring friends home or go to friends places. It was pretty strict and my uncles wife i would say was the mastermind of it all, she was strict and mean maybe because it was a house of 5 boys.

Growing up in my uncles home, I wouldn't say I was treated diffrently because I always got matching outfits with my uncle's children during christmas, gifts during christmas, same portions of food BUT IN ALL I was always scared of doing somethings my cousins would do. I didn't feel free growing up, i felt diffrent from them. In some cases they attended the best schools than I (but I never attended a govt. school or a bad private school).

It's like if their school fees was 1m naira per term, mine would be 150,000 per term.

I lived with them until I was about 16 or 17 and one morning I woke up and they said i was going back to my mother at 15 or 16 like any kid, you would start to develop conscience (sense), maybe breaking some rules and being stubborn just like their own kids. This I assume was why they wanted to send me back to my mother OTHERWISE I CAN THINK OF NOTHING ELSE I DID WRONG OR DIFFRENT.

In all of these years living with them, I saw my mother as a strange person. I had no motherly connection with her. My anty to me, was my real mother. Whenever we went visiting my mother in very rare occasions, it was always awkward.

Well long story short, I found myself back in my mother's arms, to a new environment i knew nothing about and starting to learn to live with a woman called my mother. I was naive, had no choice but to accept realities on ground. Do you know that feeling of living in a pouch house and wake up next morning in a 1 room surrounded by thick bushes. Yes that was the change.

I was enrolled into a school, my uncle was repeatedly forced to send/ pay my schoolfees until i was in ss3 and i called him to inform him about waec enrolment. He told me on the phone ''all the exams i have been writing, how many have i passed'' and that was it. He never sent a dime anymore meanwhile at this point his children, my cousins were already miles ahead of me suddenly in education. When i left the home, the eldest son went to canada to school, the second who is my agemate was already in a private uni in Nigeria and the 3rd who i am senior to with a year is preparing to go to ukraine for school and years later the last born who i spoonfed and chewed meat for attended uni in Ghana.

Well long story short, since my uncle had failed me. My mother said it was time i go to my father. My father was old retired pensioner. My mother took me to him, as expected awkward encounter. I have never known this man, no memory of him. Well he said he would find my enrolment money and he did, he later passed on a year or two later.

I enrolled waec and pased in one sitting, thanks to miracle centres.

PS: i must say i was never an intelligent student. i wasn't even average but i wasn't the poorest and neither of my uncles children were better. We were all poor educationally.

Long story short another uncle sprang up and paid for my university diploma which i later acquiried.


YEARS LATER my uncle and aunty decided to move back to our home town, please note the home my mother stayed in was this my uncles home. It was the boy quarters, the main house was not even in sight as at the time i was returned to my mother. We did series of bush clearing and snakes killing lol. well my uncle returned home town after retirement and setup the main structure ( a 5 bed room duplex) and thats were they lived while i and my mother lived in the BQ.

I WAS very angry with myself that i happened to still live with them AGAIN, i needed to get out of their sight, my condition was bad. i was a mere teacher to some rickety school. In all of this my uncle's wife always ensured she knew what i was upto and she derived satisfaction when she knew i wasn't doing better than her kids who were all abroad. i turned to their errand boy again after years of neglect. i was very angry with myself and needed to save to get out of the house.

Well i did manage to save up and leave the house and i promised myself never to return to that house. i felt neglected, i felt they sent me away because the goodthings were coming and they couldn't bear to see me share in them because to me they were my parents.


YEARS LATER, my aunty was sick with cancer
please note before i left the home, my uncle and aunty always sent me to travel journeys to get them medicines from a monastry. i attended such trips severally and ran other seperate errands but i never dared to drive their car talkless ask for the key. i always washed their car in the mornings, i would never also dare to see myself in the living room of the duplex with the remote in hand. when they moved back to the hometown, that fear in my childhood started again but this time i was mature enough to know i would never m amount to anything in life if i continued this again hence the reason i needed to move out.

So my aunty sickness grew worse, the husband flew her to india and back but the sickness grew worse. in all of this cancer times i never went back to the house to see her. I only heard of her conditions from my siblings (my half siblings, my mother was married to 3 men in diffrent years and she had only me for my father, another for another man and 3 for another man, i was the lastborn of all).

Then my aunty died. The day she died, i saw her in my dreams and she was crying saying ''she forgave me''. A day or two later i went to my sisters store and she told me of my aunty death, i went to my rented apartment and cried profusely. i later summouned courage and maybe sympathy and went to my uncles house and i cried before my uncle and told him to forgive me too for all abandoning them all this while.

NOW ABOUT MY AUNTY SAYING SHE FORGAVE ME IN THE DREAM: i did not do her any wrong neither did i wish death on her. All her life her greatest fear was maybe i would become greater than her children. She loved these comparisms, i was never wicked to her, i never cursed her, i was never rude to her unless i some instances when she sends me errands and i tell her i have other things to do.... Otherwise i never was negative to her instead she is the one nobody likes, by nobody i mean my uncles family. Nobody talks good of her, they say she controls my uncle and also squandered his money but in all of this i never spoke of my experiences living with them and somethings they did wrong that made me feel diffrent, i did not even tell you guys neither have i told my mother ever. i don't see them as anything that would stop my growth in life. i hate to talk about the bad in people.

WELL BACK TO REASON THE TOPIC WAS CREATED, why do i keep repeatedly seeing her in my dreams even after her death and its always on a negative role. its either in the dream she still plays mother, or she is gossip about me in the dream or she is against me in the dream, just think of anything negative in a dream and she will be the mastermind. This is really beginning to worry me. Why is she still attached to me in the dreams?

After she died, her husband, my uncle started his own sickness but has been sick for years now, he is bed ridden. The family has repeatedly asked him if there is anything he and his late wife did in the past to amount such sickness were he is living in pain but refused to die and he would not answer. One time they said, he said ''it was out of ignorance'' and thats all he ever said about anything.

It will also be good to note that of all my 4 cousin brothers and i today, i am the most successful by far.

i just finished my house (a 3bedroom, 2 bedroom, 1 bedrrom bungalow)
january this year i bought my 3rd car.
i travel round the world effortlessly.
YES I DID TURN OUT FAR BETTER THAN MY COUSINS WHO YOU KNOW HAD THE BEST EDUCATION.

I don't want to talk of their conditions, lets concentrate on me.


So this is my much writeup... I had to skip many things so you can bear to read but please be free to ask me questions.

Why do I repeatedly see my aunty in my dreams.... just before this writeup, i had just woken up from another dream she was present in, she was whispering to the ears of a very good friend of mine and then the friends turned to me and was like '' ah cahrles na so you be''?...and i was angry and was like '' how can you believe something someone you just met told you against i your best friends word'' and minutes later dream ended and i woke up.

At this point i am thinking of going spiritual to know why this is happening but this will be a first in my life. There are two popular places i have never being in my life until lately last year... One is a shrine and the other is a police station. Last year was my first time to be in a police station.
I was driving my unregistered car. That was my offence.

bruv, you are just reliving your childhood trauma, her non acceptance of you has shaped your life and is still shaping it. I believe it's time you speak to someone and free yourself of the burden you carry. please don't go to any herbalist o, don't go start something that will not have a pleasant end.

charlesELIKIBA:
your head dey shake.
ask forgiveness for what?
you must be high.

Carry your stupud wahala commot here.

Run to your God oo, it is the only escape root If I may understand the dream, the woman hates you even in her death.

Vulcan24:
calm down it was obvious cos we were adults ..... I said after graduation

u don't know the whole story.

I even lost a better job cos she wouldn't push further

Lol, the mother that brought you into life, wetin she push? Let's be reasonable please

Anytime a person keep dreaming about dead people it means death is calling that person...
And it is not good at all..

The way out..you need to engage the Blood of Jesus Christ in intense Holy Ghost/God's word sponsored prayers to curse and destroy the root of such dreams.Like my revered mentor Apostle Johnson Suleman would say..the best time to engage these forces in prayers is in the night.. But you MUST be God's own indeed first before you can engage these forces to get positive result.That is my counsel for you and I talk based on my experience and what I have heard.
May God help you.

When the subconscious pick words from the other side it doesn't present it in a clear tone to the conscious. Every little word is a pieces for you to puzzle together to make a better understanding. Pick every single sentence and analyze it for a better understanding. From your first dream the word *Forgive* cannot be down tone. It either she is asking for forgiveness for herself or someone else... Anything that has to do with that word.

Eberejesus111:
Your aunty didnt do you any wrong and your uncle did you no wrong.
First of all, you're seeing her in your dream because of your Guilt complex, and you still see her that way. You have something bothering you, perhaps you feel that you are not worth the good of Gods gift.

So God came as your aunt in the dream to tell you " I've forgiven you, don't be guilty again." But you paid no attention and still felt guilty. That's was bothering you. Discard your guilt and you'll be free.

For your uncle, he did nothing. He believes because he wickedly tortured you as his slave, then God is punsihing him. But that's not true. God loves you all, so he doesn't judge for wickedness. He is a God of infinite love.

Pray for your uncle now, he needs it. Believe he is free and also free yourself from your guilt complex. Your uncle is your responsibility, save his life by believing he is whole. Bless you bro

OP had better read and listen to this. this is the summary of the matter

etrange:
OP, big kudos to you for the objectivity in your story! This isn't common on NL these days where people come to ask for advice and yet try to influence our judgement by acting the victim. You have my respect, sir.

First, your uncle and aunt did well for you, bro. They might have sent you home because you were coming of age and keeping you around might have hindered the expensive plans they had for thier kids (or for any other reason best known to the adults as at that time) but the fact remains that they took you in, clothed you, fed you and educated you all out of thier own goodwill. Each time they paid your fees, they deprived themselves and their children something. She might not have treated you up to your expectations; she might have feared you would outshine her kids; we all have our demons. But in the grand scheme of things, she helped you. She nurtured you at your formative age. Just wanted to get this out of the way.

Now, you had grudges against them (which might be justifiable) to the point that the woman whom you once called "mother" was dying and you didn't bother to go and see her. We're not talking about giving them material things in return, no. We're talking visiting a dying person, the person that raised you. I'm not trying to "guilt trip" you but that was a bit unfair. You know this and what you see in your dream is not the woman but your conscience. You fear your actions or inaction might spoil things for you. It shows you're a nice person.

But you must forgive yourself. The woman is dead, she can't forgive. The husband has forgiven you. It's you who has not forgiven yourself. And you can only do that by accepting that you wronged her and undoing anything you did out grudge towards her (like not talking or helping her kids, anything at all). Once your mind is at peace, the dream will stop.

#MyOpinion

well said

ModestGal:
Seriously, this is a great problem in Nigeria and why adoption is a problem.
People would tell different things to both the uncle and the child.
To the uncle: that child is a witch, she will not allow you or your children to progress. If any member of the house is sick, people would say it is the child.
To the child: people would tell the child how he's been maltreated, and how his uncle is using his destiny etc.
The day Nigeria stop believing in Fetish nonsense the better, our religious men have only brought us backwards, I'm referring to Alfas, babalawos and Pastors. And in today's time, the pastors are leading in these false claims.

I swear !! - I felt very angry reading the post - imagine the fuckery!!! - he didn’t blame his useless father and LovePeddler mother , rather chose to blame a man who helped him despite not being indebted to him in any way at all -

@CharlesELIKIBA, you are an ungrateful soul , and I hope all you have is taken from you as quick as it was given to you , I Hope you loose it all in a freak accident because you clearly don’t deserve the mercies you’ve been given. God punish you bro !!!! - Fucking entitled cunt son of a LovePeddler mother !!!!

There's always a difference when you invest in your own offspring than in others children. If not for God, I would have advised people not to make sacrifices for others offspring but for God...

Your experience has just strengthened my decision to send away the relatives that are staying with me.
Henceforth, if I want to help, I'll help from afar. Your ingratitude and unhealthy comparison with your guardian's children is sickening.

holusormi:
I swear !! - I felt very angry reading the post - imagine the fuckery!!! - he didn’t blame his useless father and LovePeddler mother , rather chose to blame a man who helped him despite not being indebted to him in any way at all -

@CharlesELIKIBA, you are an ungrateful soul , and I hope all you have is taken from you as quick as it was given to you , I Hope you loose it all in a freak accident because you clearly don’t deserve the mercies you’ve been given. God punish you bro !!!! - Fucking entitled cunt son of a LovePeddler mother !!!!

Ahh, bros una don vex? It doesn't reach that o. May your curses not affect the Op in anyway. Don't blame Op please, blame the bleeped up fetish believing African society.

salt1:
Your experience has just strengthened my decision to send away the relatives that are staying with me.
Henceforth, if I want to help, I'll help from afar. Your ingratitude and unhealthy comparison with your guardian's children is sickening.

Hmmn, it is well. You can still have the child, but with a contract with both the child's parents that the child wouldn't compare and hates you for all the good you are doing. You should always make the child happy and explain in a very good mood to the child how you love him/her and how you won't want him corrupted

SweetCunt97:
It's simply obvious many people have wickedness running in their veins. I'm not surprised afterall we read news of their atrocities here every day!

Those who are pure in heart with good emotional standing with spot the wickedness in this story.

Personally I love my siblings, so when I become rich and it arises that I have to take their kids under my wings, I'll do so without bile, with same love as my own kids. I'll want to see them succeed just like my kids. Cos I know if I better their lives, they'll in turn care for their parent(my sibling). It's really not that hard to be good.

It's one thing to be good, it's a different thing for your good to be acknowledged. Children have unconditional love for their parents, but heap blames on other people.

This man transferred all the negative energy he should feel for his birth parents to his uncle and family and it's suffocating him.
Channel your anger to your mum and late dad.

As a matter of fact, do forgive them.so u can have a happy and peaceful life.
As for your uncle, go and visit him and act like a son towards him.
Tell him u bear no grudge against him and his late wife.

Extend the olive branch to his kids and make them your real brothers. Common, u are going to have high blood pressure if you continue like this and trust me, if u do this, u will not see this illusions of your late uncle's wife again.