Op, watch how Nairaland perfect human beings will only blame you for trying to say how you felt towards your childhood. You are even lucky to be successful, they would have called you lazy and the normal story of nobody owes you would have been everywhere. Just don't bother trying to explain yourself, you will read more of such. I wish your mom did better by not giving you out. Meanwhile, concerning your dreams, don't see it as a big deal. Like a chaff thrown to the wind, learn to do so with negative dreams. If you are a Christian, plead the blood of Jesus. You don't allow such to weigh you down or be a concern.

charlesELIKIBA:
HELLP NAIRALANDERS

i will be brief with my writeup as much as possible so i can explain my connection with this lady.

my single mom gave me away at a tender age of 5 to her elder brother ( financial difficulties i assume), this ''aunty'' happens to be the wife of this my mothers elder brother.

already they had 4 children, all boys.

the home was a tough upbringing with strict rules about socialising, we weren't allowed to bring friends home or go to friends places. it was pretty strict and my uncles wife i would say was the mastermind of it all, she was strict and mean maybe because it was a house of 5 boys.

growing up in my uncles home, i wouldn't say i was treated diffrently because i always got matching outfits with my uncle's children during christmas, gifts during christmas, same portions of food BUT IN ALL i was always scared of doing somethings my cousins would do, i didn't feel free growing up, i felt diffrent from them. in some case they attended the best schools than i ( but i never attended a govt. school or a bad private school).

its like if their school fees was 1m naira per term, mine would be 150,000 per term.

i lived with them until i was about 16 or 17 and one morning i woke up and they said i was going back to my mother. at 15 or 16 like any kid, you would start to develop conscience (sense), maybe breaking some rules and being stubborn just like their own kids. this i assume was why they wanted to send me back to my mother OTHERWISE I CAN THINK OF NOTHING ELSE I DID WRONG OR DIFFRENT.

in all of these years living with them, i saw my mother as a strange person, i had no motherly connection with her. my anty to me, was my real mother. whenever we went visiting my mother in very rare occasions, it was always awkward.

well long story short, i found myself back in my mothers arms, to a new environment i knew nothing about and starting to learn to live with a woman called my mother. i was naive had no choice but to accept realities on ground. do you know that feeling of living in a pouch house and wake up next morning in a 1 room surrounded by thick bushes. yes that was the change.

i was enrolled into a school, my uncle was repeatedly forced to send/ pay my schoolfees until i was in ss3 and i called him to inform him about waec enrolment. he told me on the phone ''all the exams i have been writing, how many have i passed'' and that was it he never sent a dime anymore meanwhile at this point his children my cousins were already miles ahead of me suddenly in education. when i left the home, the eldest son went to canada to school, the second who is my agemate was already in a private uni in nigeria and the 3rd who i am senior to with a year is preparing to go to ukraine for school and years later the last born who i spoonfed and chewed meat for attended uni in ghana.

well long story short, since my uncle had failed me. my mother said it was time i go to my father. my father was old retired pensioner. my mother took me to him, as expected awkward encounter. i have never known this man, no memory of him. well he said he would find my enrolment money and he did, he later passed on a year or two later.

i enrolled waec and pased in one sitting, thanks to miracle centres.
PS: i must say i was never an intelligent student. i wasn't even average but i wasn't the poorest and neither of my uncles children were better. we were all poor educationally.

long story short another uncle sprang up and payed for my university diploma which i later acquiried.










YEARS LATER my uncle and aunty decide to move back to our home town, please note the home my mother stayed in was this my uncles home. it was the boy quarters, the main house was not even in sight as at the time i was returned to my mother. we did series of bush clearing and snakes killing lol. well my uncle returned home town after retirement and setup the main structure ( a 5 bed room duplex) and thats were they lived while i and my mother lived in the BQ.

I WAS very angry with myself that i happened to still live with them AGAIN, i needed to get out of their sight, my condition was bad. i was a mere teacher to some rickety school. in all of this my uncles wife always ensured she knew what i was upto and she derived satisfaction when she knew i wasn't doing better than her kids who were all abroad. i turned to their errand boy again after years of neglect. i was very angry with myself and needed to save to get out of the house.

well i did manage to save up and leave the house and i promised myself never to return to that house. i felt neglected, i felt they sent me away because the goodthings were coming and they couldn't bear to see me share in them because to me they were my parents.






YEARS LATER, my aunty was sick with cancer
please note before i left the home, my uncle and aunty always sent me to travel journeys to get them medicines from a monastry. i attended such trips severally and ran other seperate errands but i never dared to drive their car talkless ask for the key. i always washed their car in the mornings, i would never also dare to see myself in the living room of the duplex with the remote in hand. when they moved back to the hometown, that fear in my childhood started again but this time i was mature enough to know i would never amount to anything in life if i continued this again hence the reason i needed to move out.

so my aunty sickness grew worse, the husband flew her to india and back but the sickness grew worse. in all of this cancer times i never went back to the house to see her. i only heard of her conditions from my siblings ( my half siblings, my mother was marry to 3 men in diffrent years and she had only me for my father, another for another man and 3 for another man, i was the lastborn of all).

then my aunty died. the day she died, i saw her in my dreams and she was crying saying ''she forgave me''. a day or two later i went to my sisters store and she told me of my aunty death, i went to my rented apartment and cried profusely. i later summouned courage and maybe sympathy and went to my uncles house and i cried before my uncle and told him to forgive me too for all abandoning them all this while.

NOW ABOUT MY AUNTY SAYING SHE FORGAVE ME IN THE DREAM: i did not do her any wrong neither did i wish death on her. all her life her greatest fear was maybe i would become greater than her children. she loved these comparisms, i was never wicked to her, i never cursed her, i was never rude to her unless i some instances when she sends me errands and i tell her i have other things to do....otherwise i never was negative to her instead she is the one nobody likes, by nobody i mean my uncles family. nobody talks good of her, they say she controls my uncle and also squandered his money but in all of this i never spoke of my experiences living with them and somethings they did wrong that made me feel diffrent, i did not even tell you guys neither have i told my mother ever. i don't see them as anything that would stop my growth in life. i hate to talk about the bad in people.



WELL BACK TO REASON THE TOPIC WAS CREATED, why do i keep repeatedly seeing her in my dreams even after her death and its always on a negative role. its either in the dream she still plays mother, or she is gossip about me in the dream or she is against me in the dream, just think of anything negative in a dream and she will be the mastermind. this is really beginning to worry me. why is she still attached to me in the dreams?

after she died, her husband, my uncle started his own sickness but has being sick for years now, he is bed ridden. the family have repeatedly asked him if there is anything he and his late wife did in the past to amount such sickness were he is living in pain but refused to die and he would not answer. one time they said, he said ''it was out of ignorance'' and thats all he ever said about anything.

it will also be good to note that of all my 4 cousin brothers and i today, i am the most successful by far.
i just finished my house ( a 3bedroom,2 bedroom, 1 bedrrom bungalow)
january this year i bought my 3rd car.
i travel round the world effortlessly.
YES I DID TURN OUT FAR BETTER THAN MY COUSINS WHO YOU KNOW HAD THE BEST EDUCATION.
i don't want to talk of their conditions, lets concentrate on me.




so this is my much writeup...i had to skip many things so you can bear to read but please be free to ask me questions.
Why do i repeatedly see my aunty in my dreams.... just before this writeup, i had just woken up from another dream she was present in, she was whispering to the ears of a very good friend of mine and then the friends turned to me and was like '' ah cahrles na so you be''?...and i was angry and was like '' how can you believe something someone you just met told you against i your best friends word'' and minutes later dream ended and i woke up.

at this point i am thinking of going spiritual to know why this is happening but this will be a first in my life. there are two popular places i have never being in my life until lately last year...one is a shrine and the other is a police station. last year was my first time to be in a police station. i was driving my unregistered car. that was my offence.

cc; lalasticlala, seun, RoyalRoy, OAM4J, servantofGod22

You think too much of the past, your mind is playing games with you, your aunty is dead, it's your thoughts that is manifesting itself as your aunty(you still think of her as bad in a way). You also should stop comparing yourself with her children. Your aunty is dead, stop letting your subconscious/mind/thoughts, control your sanity and LET GO OF THAT HATE YOU STILL SECRETLY FEEL FOR THEM.

charlesELIKIBA:
HELLP NAIRALANDERS

cc; lalasticlala, seun, RoyalRoy, OAM4J, servantofGod22

You obviously still have some unresolved issues with your Aunty. Resentment, anger, and probably guilt.

I think you need to see a psychologist and probably go through therapy.

Raising someone's child is not easy at all. Your Uncle and his wife never saw you as their child, and whatever they did for you they saw as a favour. Your parents are the ones who brought you into this world and should have been responsible for you. Thank God you turned out okay.

I think you need to go closer to your uncle now. Maybe that's what your subconscious is asking of you.

charlesELIKIBA:

lol abroad?
I have being abroad myself ten times over.
no I don't have any resentments.
it's just an "I don't care feeling ".
as for comparison with my cousins, well that was my driving force in the beginning, now it's no competition whatsoever.

that being said like you asked,my conscience is 1001% clean.
i have never done anything diabolical in my life.

Your auntie is dead and gone. You are the one who is 'holding' her in your mind and therefore holding yourself captive. Forgive her and your uncle truly and completely, and see how she slowly fades from your thoughts and dreams. You see, dreams are a manifestation of things we attach strong emotions to, consciously or subconsciously. In your case, even though you hate to admit it, it is pain, resentment and hate.

I understand how the injustices you felt they meted out to you would hurt a lot as a child and a teen, but now that you are an adult I would expect you to be a lot more understanding and forgiving (even appreciative) than you are. No one can raise you like their own kids. People can go into debt, take massive loans for their kids; it is tough to do that for another man's child.

Forgive your uncle and his wife. They did their best for you up to the point they could. Think more of what they did for you and be grateful, than fixating on what they didn't. It is unhealthy for your soul.

charlesELIKIBA:

oh wow.
this has got to be my best read so far.
you maybe right about comparison because sometimes I feel anything my cousins are today is out of their fathers wealth and not a fresh beginning like mine. that's the only comparison I can think of
truth is for me I have blamed my own mother the most, you know for giving me out.
to be honest if I have anger for anyone on if I was treated differently, that anger will be on my mother.
and this has affected our mother, son relationship.... it's not there at all.
I am beginning to think I know what to do.

it's just poped on me after reading what you wrote. maybe my uncles wife is expecting of me like a son because I have refused to recognise my mother as my true mother. just maybe this is the connection that needs to be broken. I need to love my mother more and unconditionally.

I think I need to talk to my mother about how i feel. oh boy can belive I am teary just writing this sentence. I feel this is it really.

This is really touching. I can't answer your immediate question but would like to offer you some advice on issues within your immediate control. First, please don't blame your mother. It is natural for a child to feel this way if sent away by parents to go live someplace other than their home. Think about what your mother would have gone through to believe that her child was better off being with her brother outside her home. It's not an easy decision unless one is completely heartless and irresponsible. I want to believe your mother did this for good reasons. In addition, your father was also complicit in this decision. Why would your mother send you away to someone other than your father if he was willing to take up his responsibilities?

Second, it is only natural for a child to feel resentment if not treated equally with their peers. You felt like you were treated differently than your cousins when you were a child and that is completely natural at that age. You are now an adult and grown up. Try to let go of those feelings. Forgive and move on. The take away here is that if you ever find yourself taking care of someone's child in your household, don't forget how you felt. Make sure you treat the child like yours. If you see a child in that situation, provide advice to the caregivers whenever you can.
Third, honor your living father (uncle) and mother. Visit them, provide them welfare. MKO Abiola used to say "the hand that giveth is always on top"
Love, forgiveness and caring are all very therapeutic to the soul. You may just find that doing this resolves some of the other issues.

charlesELIKIBA:

you are still but a child.
I wouldn't trade words with you.

He is not a child Sir that young man is telling you the truth and it is bitter...

In your write up, u made us to understand that you were more successful than your cousin, that was an unnecessary information as far as I'm concerned. u were not in competition with them. they have their own destiny and u got yours..

They might not even be aware that you got such a competitive spirit. Also, If you were really nice and appreciative of what you uncle has done for u, you would have cautioned those ignorant family members that feels that if one got a cancer or bedridden, it means that he may have done something wrong. U should have defended him..u are a graduate, u were expected to know better... but u kept calm... people that took u even when your parents were alive cloth u, fed u,..

Besides, if u don't dream about the people that u know, are u gonna dream about those that you don't know? How is it that someone you grew up and happens to see as a mother figure all of a sudden became Satan that when you dreamt about her u panics.. was that what the church u have been going was telling you that it was wrong to dream about a passed relative or was it the local movies that you have been watching or was it the ignorant folks that u surrounded yourself with and were brain washing u.. which was it?

Shouldn't you be happy your late aunty loves you somuch as to appear in your dreams.

Americans are busy paying thousands of dollars to speak to mediums to help them communicate with their departed relatives...you are here shouting for help because your aunty who loves you somuch came to say hi from the underworld..

You better gaan watch Hollywood and mid island medium On Dstv and rest your worries.

you won't have gone far if you didn't take the decision to leave there

www.nairaland.com/attachments/11616171_4418836_pngd134146402a70207ada1d501d2a43ca1

How close are you with your maker? Whichever religion you practice, deep yourself into a serious prayer session.
Another thing is that, I think you're too bittered inside. If you search yourself properly, you'll realize that you had that family in mind even on your way to success. You probably tried so hard to succeed just to prove a point to them.
All in all, relax your mind, find God and gather inner peace!

PS what did you go and do at the shrine? Don't let herbalists dupe you o!

You are still thinking of her a lot, and it is you playing your own mind.
If you meet a spiritualist to help you, look at what will happen;

'They will charge you for consultations and treatments,
After that they do some 'abrakataba' and tell you to go, that it is over.
When you get home, you feel confident that baba has done something for you.
Your mind will stop playing you and they woman will never come again.'

Same as pastors and anyone else.
Help yourself OP!
Clear your mind and forgive yourself.
You are not owing her and even if you are, it is not possible to pay after death.
I wish you the best.

She's got a message for u before she finally rest!!!!!... If u aren't interested, just rebuke her spirit by doing a dry fasting and using psalm91..... The spirit will vanish!!!!..

May she has a message for you.



Meanwhile, contact us for day old chicks from reputable hatcheries across the country at affordable prices.

We deliver nationwide.

Go and treat malaria and you'll stop hallucinating.

You had this childish entitlement growing up, You probably still hold a grudge you cannot identify or place a finger on; the only spiritual I would advise you go is prayers. Pray to God to simplify and make things easy for your hearts to understand, forgive and forgive. There’s no simple answer to your quest but then you probably should forgive her kids too.

Hallucinations.

Go and see a spiritual practitioner

charlesELIKIBA:
HELLP NAIRALANDERS


At this point i am thinking of going spiritual to know why this is happening but this will be a first in my life. There are two popular places i have never being in my life until lately last year... One is a shrine and the other is a police station. Last year was my first time to be in a police station.
I was driving my unregistered car. That was my offence.

Why u visit shrine?

It is your conscience. You shouldn't be feeling guilty but deep down, you do.

Dear Poster,

I think that you should journal your dreams and watch to see if any of the them has ever manifested in real life e.g after you dreamt that she was casting you to your bestie, did you two start quarrelling in real life?

You should pray the Psalms religiously and MFM prayers too.

charlesELIKIBA:

oh wow.
this has got to be my best read so far.
you maybe right about comparison because sometimes I feel anything my cousins are today is out of their fathers wealth and not a fresh beginning like mine. that's the only comparison I can think of
truth is for me I have blamed my own mother the most, you know for giving me out.
to be honest if I have anger for anyone on if I was treated differently, that anger will be on my mother.
and this has affected our mother, son relationship.... it's not there at all.
I am beginning to think I know what to do.

it's just poped on me after reading what you wrote. maybe my uncles wife is expecting of me like a son because I have refused to recognise my mother as my true mother. just maybe this is the connection that needs to be broken. I need to love my mother more and unconditionally.

I think I need to talk to my mother about how i feel. oh boy can belive I am teary just writing this sentence. I feel this is it really.

I'm happy for you mate looking forward to updates.

charlesELIKIBA:
HELLP NAIRALANDERS

I will be brief with my writeup as much as possible so I can explain my connection with this lady.

My single mom gave me away at a tender age of 5 to her elder brother (financial difficulties i assume), this ''aunty'' happens to be the wife of this my mother's elder brother.

Aready they had 4 children, all boys.

The home was a tough upbringing with strict rules about socialising, we weren't allowed to bring friends home or go to friends places. It was pretty strict and my uncles wife i would say was the mastermind of it all, she was strict and mean maybe because it was a house of 5 boys.

Growing up in my uncles home, I wouldn't say I was treated diffrently because I always got matching outfits with my uncle's children during christmas, gifts during christmas, same portions of food BUT IN ALL I was always scared of doing somethings my cousins would do. I didn't feel free growing up, i felt diffrent from them. In some cases they attended the best schools than I (but I never attended a govt. school or a bad private school).

It's like if their school fees was 1m naira per term, mine would be 150,000 per term.

I lived with them until I was about 16 or 17 and one morning I woke up and they said i was going back to my mother at 15 or 16 like any kid, you would start to develop conscience (sense), maybe breaking some rules and being stubborn just like their own kids. This I assume was why they wanted to send me back to my mother OTHERWISE I CAN THINK OF NOTHING ELSE I DID WRONG OR DIFFRENT.

In all of these years living with them, I saw my mother as a strange person. I had no motherly connection with her. My anty to me, was my real mother. Whenever we went visiting my mother in very rare occasions, it was always awkward.

Well long story short, I found myself back in my mother's arms, to a new environment i knew nothing about and starting to learn to live with a woman called my mother. I was naive, had no choice but to accept realities on ground. Do you know that feeling of living in a pouch house and wake up next morning in a 1 room surrounded by thick bushes. Yes that was the change.

I was enrolled into a school, my uncle was repeatedly forced to send/ pay my schoolfees until i was in ss3 and i called him to inform him about waec enrolment. He told me on the phone ''all the exams i have been writing, how many have i passed'' and that was it. He never sent a dime anymore meanwhile at this point his children, my cousins were already miles ahead of me suddenly in education. When i left the home, the eldest son went to canada to school, the second who is my agemate was already in a private uni in Nigeria and the 3rd who i am senior to with a year is preparing to go to ukraine for school and years later the last born who i spoonfed and chewed meat for attended uni in Ghana.

Well long story short, since my uncle had failed me. My mother said it was time i go to my father. My father was old retired pensioner. My mother took me to him, as expected awkward encounter. I have never known this man, no memory of him. Well he said he would find my enrolment money and he did, he later passed on a year or two later.

I enrolled waec and pased in one sitting, thanks to miracle centres.

PS: i must say i was never an intelligent student. i wasn't even average but i wasn't the poorest and neither of my uncles children were better. We were all poor educationally.

Long story short another uncle sprang up and paid for my university diploma which i later acquiried.


YEARS LATER my uncle and aunty decided to move back to our home town, please note the home my mother stayed in was this my uncles home. It was the boy quarters, the main house was not even in sight as at the time i was returned to my mother. We did series of bush clearing and snakes killing lol. well my uncle returned home town after retirement and setup the main structure ( a 5 bed room duplex) and thats were they lived while i and my mother lived in the BQ.

I WAS very angry with myself that i happened to still live with them AGAIN, i needed to get out of their sight, my condition was bad. i was a mere teacher to some rickety school. In all of this my uncle's wife always ensured she knew what i was upto and she derived satisfaction when she knew i wasn't doing better than her kids who were all abroad. i turned to their errand boy again after years of neglect. i was very angry with myself and needed to save to get out of the house.

Well i did manage to save up and leave the house and i promised myself never to return to that house. i felt neglected, i felt they sent me away because the goodthings were coming and they couldn't bear to see me share in them because to me they were my parents.


YEARS LATER, my aunty was sick with cancer
please note before i left the home, my uncle and aunty always sent me to travel journeys to get them medicines from a monastry. i attended such trips severally and ran other seperate errands but i never dared to drive their car talkless ask for the key. i always washed their car in the mornings, i would never also dare to see myself in the living room of the duplex with the remote in hand. when they moved back to the hometown, that fear in my childhood started again but this time i was mature enough to know i would never m amount to anything in life if i continued this again hence the reason i needed to move out.

So my aunty sickness grew worse, the husband flew her to india and back but the sickness grew worse. in all of this cancer times i never went back to the house to see her. I only heard of her conditions from my siblings (my half siblings, my mother was married to 3 men in diffrent years and she had only me for my father, another for another man and 3 for another man, i was the lastborn of all).

Then my aunty died. The day she died, i saw her in my dreams and she was crying saying ''she forgave me''. A day or two later i went to my sisters store and she told me of my aunty death, i went to my rented apartment and cried profusely. i later summouned courage and maybe sympathy and went to my uncles house and i cried before my uncle and told him to forgive me too for all abandoning them all this while.

NOW ABOUT MY AUNTY SAYING SHE FORGAVE ME IN THE DREAM: i did not do her any wrong neither did i wish death on her. All her life her greatest fear was maybe i would become greater than her children. She loved these comparisms, i was never wicked to her, i never cursed her, i was never rude to her unless i some instances when she sends me errands and i tell her i have other things to do.... Otherwise i never was negative to her instead she is the one nobody likes, by nobody i mean my uncles family. Nobody talks good of her, they say she controls my uncle and also squandered his money but in all of this i never spoke of my experiences living with them and somethings they did wrong that made me feel diffrent, i did not even tell you guys neither have i told my mother ever. i don't see them as anything that would stop my growth in life. i hate to talk about the bad in people.

WELL BACK TO REASON THE TOPIC WAS CREATED, why do i keep repeatedly seeing her in my dreams even after her death and its always on a negative role. its either in the dream she still plays mother, or she is gossip about me in the dream or she is against me in the dream, just think of anything negative in a dream and she will be the mastermind. This is really beginning to worry me. Why is she still attached to me in the dreams?

After she died, her husband, my uncle started his own sickness but has been sick for years now, he is bed ridden. The family has repeatedly asked him if there is anything he and his late wife did in the past to amount such sickness were he is living in pain but refused to die and he would not answer. One time they said, he said ''it was out of ignorance'' and thats all he ever said about anything.

It will also be good to note that of all my 4 cousin brothers and i today, i am the most successful by far.

i just finished my house (a 3bedroom, 2 bedroom, 1 bedrrom bungalow)
january this year i bought my 3rd car.
i travel round the world effortlessly.
YES I DID TURN OUT FAR BETTER THAN MY COUSINS WHO YOU KNOW HAD THE BEST EDUCATION.

I don't want to talk of their conditions, lets concentrate on me.


So this is my much writeup... I had to skip many things so you can bear to read but please be free to ask me questions.

Why do I repeatedly see my aunty in my dreams.... just before this writeup, i had just woken up from another dream she was present in, she was whispering to the ears of a very good friend of mine and then the friends turned to me and was like '' ah cahrles na so you be''?...and i was angry and was like '' how can you believe something someone you just met told you against i your best friends word'' and minutes later dream ended and i woke up.

At this point i am thinking of going spiritual to know why this is happening but this will be a first in my life. There are two popular places i have never being in my life until lately last year... One is a shrine and the other is a police station. Last year was my first time to be in a police station.
I was driving my unregistered car. That was my offence.

is this one brief?

Chat up a counseling psychologist via WhatsApp 0806 472 9707. Dreams are stored up activities of the conscious. You must not attach spirit to everything. My consultation fee is 2k if you are ok with that chat me up let me help you through counseling.

nwizy:

Why u visit shrine?

lol can you see what the poster above you said ? He literally adviced him going there .

[color=#] 1997745[/color]

charlesELIKIBA:
HELLP NAIRALANDERS

I will be brief with my writeup as much as possible so I can explain my connection with this lady.

My single mom gave me away at a tender age of 5 to her elder brother (financial difficulties i assume), this ''aunty'' happens to be the wife of this my mother's elder brother.

Aready they had 4 children, all boys.

The home was a tough upbringing with strict rules about socialising, we weren't allowed to bring friends home or go to friends places. It was pretty strict and my uncles wife i would say was the mastermind of it all, she was strict and mean maybe because it was a house of 5 boys.

Growing up in my uncles home, I wouldn't say I was treated diffrently because I always got matching outfits with my uncle's children during christmas, gifts during christmas, same portions of food BUT IN ALL I was always scared of doing somethings my cousins would do. I didn't feel free growing up, i felt diffrent from them. In some cases they attended the best schools than I (but I never attended a govt. school or a bad private school).

It's like if their school fees was 1m naira per term, mine would be 150,000 per term.

I lived with them until I was about 16 or 17 and one morning I woke up and they said i was going back to my mother at 15 or 16 like any kid, you would start to develop conscience (sense), maybe breaking some rules and being stubborn just like their own kids. This I assume was why they wanted to send me back to my mother OTHERWISE I CAN THINK OF NOTHING ELSE I DID WRONG OR DIFFRENT.

In all of these years living with them, I saw my mother as a strange person. I had no motherly connection with her. My anty to me, was my real mother. Whenever we went visiting my mother in very rare occasions, it was always awkward.

Well long story short, I found myself back in my mother's arms, to a new environment i knew nothing about and starting to learn to live with a woman called my mother. I was naive, had no choice but to accept realities on ground. Do you know that feeling of living in a pouch house and wake up next morning in a 1 room surrounded by thick bushes. Yes that was the change.

I was enrolled into a school, my uncle was repeatedly forced to send/ pay my schoolfees until i was in ss3 and i called him to inform him about waec enrolment. He told me on the phone ''all the exams i have been writing, how many have i passed'' and that was it. He never sent a dime anymore meanwhile at this point his children, my cousins were already miles ahead of me suddenly in education. When i left the home, the eldest son went to canada to school, the second who is my agemate was already in a private uni in Nigeria and the 3rd who i am senior to with a year is preparing to go to ukraine for school and years later the last born who i spoonfed and chewed meat for attended uni in Ghana.

Well long story short, since my uncle had failed me. My mother said it was time i go to my father. My father was old retired pensioner. My mother took me to him, as expected awkward encounter. I have never known this man, no memory of him. Well he said he would find my enrolment money and he did, he later passed on a year or two later.

I enrolled waec and pased in one sitting, thanks to miracle centres.

PS: i must say i was never an intelligent student. i wasn't even average but i wasn't the poorest and neither of my uncles children were better. We were all poor educationally.

Long story short another uncle sprang up and paid for my university diploma which i later acquiried.


YEARS LATER my uncle and aunty decided to move back to our home town, please note the home my mother stayed in was this my uncles home. It was the boy quarters, the main house was not even in sight as at the time i was returned to my mother. We did series of bush clearing and snakes killing lol. well my uncle returned home town after retirement and setup the main structure ( a 5 bed room duplex) and thats were they lived while i and my mother lived in the BQ.

I WAS very angry with myself that i happened to still live with them AGAIN, i needed to get out of their sight, my condition was bad. i was a mere teacher to some rickety school. In all of this my uncle's wife always ensured she knew what i was upto and she derived satisfaction when she knew i wasn't doing better than her kids who were all abroad. i turned to their errand boy again after years of neglect. i was very angry with myself and needed to save to get out of the house.

Well i did manage to save up and leave the house and i promised myself never to return to that house. i felt neglected, i felt they sent me away because the goodthings were coming and they couldn't bear to see me share in them because to me they were my parents.


YEARS LATER, my aunty was sick with cancer
please note before i left the home, my uncle and aunty always sent me to travel journeys to get them medicines from a monastry. i attended such trips severally and ran other seperate errands but i never dared to drive their car talkless ask for the key. i always washed their car in the mornings, i would never also dare to see myself in the living room of the duplex with the remote in hand. when they moved back to the hometown, that fear in my childhood started again but this time i was mature enough to know i would never m amount to anything in life if i continued this again hence the reason i needed to move out.

So my aunty sickness grew worse, the husband flew her to india and back but the sickness grew worse. in all of this cancer times i never went back to the house to see her. I only heard of her conditions from my siblings (my half siblings, my mother was married to 3 men in diffrent years and she had only me for my father, another for another man and 3 for another man, i was the lastborn of all).

Then my aunty died. The day she died, i saw her in my dreams and she was crying saying ''she forgave me''. A day or two later i went to my sisters store and she told me of my aunty death, i went to my rented apartment and cried profusely. i later summouned courage and maybe sympathy and went to my uncles house and i cried before my uncle and told him to forgive me too for all abandoning them all this while.

NOW ABOUT MY AUNTY SAYING SHE FORGAVE ME IN THE DREAM: i did not do her any wrong neither did i wish death on her. All her life her greatest fear was maybe i would become greater than her children. She loved these comparisms, i was never wicked to her, i never cursed her, i was never rude to her unless i some instances when she sends me errands and i tell her i have other things to do.... Otherwise i never was negative to her instead she is the one nobody likes, by nobody i mean my uncles family. Nobody talks good of her, they say she controls my uncle and also squandered his money but in all of this i never spoke of my experiences living with them and somethings they did wrong that made me feel diffrent, i did not even tell you guys neither have i told my mother ever. i don't see them as anything that would stop my growth in life. i hate to talk about the bad in people.

WELL BACK TO REASON THE TOPIC WAS CREATED, why do i keep repeatedly seeing her in my dreams even after her death and its always on a negative role. its either in the dream she still plays mother, or she is gossip about me in the dream or she is against me in the dream, just think of anything negative in a dream and she will be the mastermind. This is really beginning to worry me. Why is she still attached to me in the dreams?

After she died, her husband, my uncle started his own sickness but has been sick for years now, he is bed ridden. The family has repeatedly asked him if there is anything he and his late wife did in the past to amount such sickness were he is living in pain but refused to die and he would not answer. One time they said, he said ''it was out of ignorance'' and thats all he ever said about anything.

It will also be good to note that of all my 4 cousin brothers and i today, i am the most successful by far.

i just finished my house (a 3bedroom, 2 bedroom, 1 bedrrom bungalow)
january this year i bought my 3rd car.
i travel round the world effortlessly.
YES I DID TURN OUT FAR BETTER THAN MY COUSINS WHO YOU KNOW HAD THE BEST EDUCATION.

I don't want to talk of their conditions, lets concentrate on me.


So this is my much writeup... I had to skip many things so you can bear to read but please be free to ask me questions.

Why do I repeatedly see my aunty in my dreams.... just before this writeup, i had just woken up from another dream she was present in, she was whispering to the ears of a very good friend of mine and then the friends turned to me and was like '' ah cahrles na so you be''?...and i was angry and was like '' how can you believe something someone you just met told you against i your best friends word'' and minutes later dream ended and i woke up.

At this point i am thinking of going spiritual to know why this is happening but this will be a first in my life. There are two popular places i have never being in my life until lately last year... One is a shrine and the other is a police station. Last year was my first time to be in a police station.
I was driving my unregistered car. That was my offence.

.






don't just assume its normal, dreams are the most powerful secrets revealer each one of us have, kindly visit this thread to get a better understanding

https://www.nairaland.com/4746122/online-deliverance-dreams-interpretation-god/277

www.nairaland.com/attachments/11616229_1997745_png2c558fdbd4905f434b3d79179c127784

sisisioge:
Hmmmm....inside life!

1. Your Uncle and Aunty really tried for you. They collectively did more than your parents did so you should be very grateful to them. Get this and stop being bitter about it, it will help you further release yourself and them.

2. Comparing yourself to their kids shouldn't even happen...they weren't your parents, they were nice people who took you in. I understand how you might have felt differently though...thank goodness it was in the past. Everyone is running a different race...you apparently still think you and your cousins are still on the same track hence your conscious and subconscious comparison. Free your mind...move on and you will stop seeing their mother gossiping in your dream.

3. In your hearts of heart you still think you didn't quite do enough for them, hence the reason you kept dreaming about her. Free you mind, talk to a therapist if you have too or pray and speak with her in your spirit. You did nothing wrong... Have that conversation in your mind, believe it and move on.

May God bless you with peace...peace supersedes any other thing in this dear life.

he should call one of their children dat he loves most and help him.

V

It's only in nairaland that you see full grown men behaving like they sold their brain. Can you imagine having tooth ache and you go to motor park to tell conductors about it. Why not go to the dentist. This is not the place for this Oga. Go to your Pastor.

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