₦airaland Forum

Escobarcole:
Hello peeps, I really need your opinions and counsel on how to handle this issue that is affecting my family.

Recently we found out that my youngest bro, our last born, does crack.. He's 24 going on 25.

As i speak to you he's supposed to be a graduate but nothing came out of his years in school. We knew he was doing weed which didn't go down well with us especially my mum, because my family is somewhat disciplined and responsible. Then lately we discovered he does white, from his own confession tho. An incident happened almost 3 months ago where he took my mums ATM card and stole 85k, also transferred another 15k from my mum's other account using her phone and deleted the sms alerts so we got some military men involved and he was drilled thoroughly, it was after then he opened up on sniffing. That he mixed with the wrong crowd and boom.

He begged forgiveness and promised to change. He did for a few weeks but relapsed. He's been stealing my mums money and also asking friends and others for money just to get high. He does nothing except for his dream of exploits in his pursuit of a musical career (he's actually damn good)..

Right now i want to take action but i don't know how to go about it. I'm considering involving community youths coz that has proven effective in some instances, or yet again involve the army for another round of thorough drilling. Because we have prayed, and adviced yet to no avail. So I'm here for opinions and advice on how to handle this issue. Anyone here who's handled such cases before? I need your inputs.

As it is I'm the only one who can do anything about it as my other siblings (2 of them) are abroad, so it's just mum, my little bro and i here. Mum and dad are separated. My bro leaves with my mum but now mum wants him out coz of his irresponsible lifestyle.

Mods should please move this to the relevant section. Thanks

P.S - I'm not new here. Had to create a new account to stay anonymous

Escobarcole:
Hello peeps, I really need your opinions and counsel on how to handle this issue that is affecting my family.

Recently we found out that my youngest bro, our last born, does crack.. He's 24 going on 25.

As i speak to you he's supposed to be a graduate but nothing came out of his years in school. We knew he was doing weed which didn't go down well with us especially my mum, because my family is somewhat disciplined and responsible. Then lately we discovered he does white, from his own confession tho. An incident happened almost 3 months ago where he took my mums ATM card and stole 85k, also transferred another 15k from my mum's other account using her phone and deleted the sms alerts so we got some military men involved and he was drilled thoroughly, it was after then he opened up on sniffing. That he mixed with the wrong crowd and boom.

He begged forgiveness and promised to change. He did for a few weeks but relapsed. He's been stealing my mums money and also asking friends and others for money just to get high. He does nothing except for his dream of exploits in his pursuit of a musical career (he's actually damn good)..

Right now i want to take action but i don't know how to go about it. I'm considering involving community youths coz that has proven effective in some instances, or yet again involve the army for another round of thorough drilling. Because we have prayed, and adviced yet to no avail. So I'm here for opinions and advice on how to handle this issue. Anyone here who's handled such cases before? I need your inputs.

As it is I'm the only one who can do anything about it as my other siblings (2 of them) are abroad, so it's just mum, my little bro and i here. Mum and dad are separated. My bro leaves with my mum but now mum wants him out coz of his irresponsible lifestyle.

Mods should please move this to the relevant section. Thanks

P.S - I'm not new here. Had to create a new account to stay anonymous

EngrMarve:
This one needs deliverance oo

robinso01:
Start by cutting off his friends, they might be in it together, take him to rehabilitation center and reduce his freedom of going out any how without monitoring.

Mariangeles:
No more "drilling" please.
He's struggling with addiction already as it is.

Apart from prayers, he needs your love and encouragement.
As someone earlier contributed, cut him off from the company he keeps, look for a good rehabilitation center to get him treated.

Mandela27:
Your brother doesn't need you to be too hard on him now,although it has gone farrrr to crack.damn! I know every family hates when a member becomes a drug addict,but there's no much you can do than allowing him peace of mind and being less judgemental.Meanwhile keep all atms out of where he can see,have his time,try to initiate deep discussions with him and do more of the listening,he would get bored and whenever he wants to leave,tell him to calm down and stay little longer with u,don't judge him no matter how worried u are,You females can put up different characters so just cry for him that u don't like those his friends,he would consider ur tears instead of ur judgements.Don't take him to a rehabitation center,he's not a mad person.what he needs is ur time,although it wont be easy and it will take a little time before he starts having more of ur time too.I wish u luck

Georgekyrian:
@OP I like spending time in this kind of thread just to give in my best, in my other post I thought you're a male.
yes this poster mad a great point. please the more anyone get hard on him, he becomes worst. love him and always let her close, my dear you can always compasate with good small girls of his age indirectly , maybe by letting your fellow girls visit you at home, it will make him to feel socially relax and catch feelings, now you'll use the advantage to bring him more closer to you. But make sure you're no one gets hurt (unwanted pregnancy)

Afam4eva:
There's not much you can do for people determined to be on their way to destruction.

Klass99:
Lmao at the part in bold.

Escorbarcole, please listen to what this user has said. Read her post over and over again, pay particular attention to the parts I have quoted. You can only help a person who wants to be helped and who wants to change. Anything short of that is an exercise in futility.

A neighbour's 20 something year old kid, escaped from the rehab center he was forcefully admitted to. This was around 2009, he carried on with the sort of lifestyle your brother is living after his jail break from rehab

He hasn't been seen or heard from in 10 years now. No one knows if he is dead or alive, this is not a hearsay story. My family shares a fence with this other family. There was nothing they didn't do to help this young man, money was spent on bribe to police officers to release him for marijuana use, on school whenever he claimed he was sorry/repentant and ready to take his education seriously and on rehab.

My heart broke for his parents, the mom especially. It got to a point the father was despondent - you know when you've done all you can as a decent parent and a child refuses to catch sense, it takes a massive toll. I honestly feel bad when people blame parents for a child's poor attitude in life, you don't know the full story and children have a will and a mind of their own.

John1152:
if na so then why are we alive, why would someone in his right senses die for us, why would our parents sell their life to train us through school?

Love heals everything

grafixdon:
Change his environment. You said 2 of your siblings are in abroad. One should invite him. He needs to change his current environment if you want any meaningful changes.

Escobarcole:
Hello peeps, I really need your opinions and counsel on how to handle this issue that is affecting my family.

Recently we found out that my youngest bro, our last born, does crack.. He's 24 going on 25.

As i speak to you he's supposed to be a graduate but nothing came out of his years in school. We knew he was doing weed which didn't go down well with us especially my mum, because my family is somewhat disciplined and responsible. Then lately we discovered he does white, from his own confession tho. An incident happened almost 3 months ago where he took my mums ATM card and stole 85k, also transferred another 15k from my mum's other account using her phone and deleted the sms alerts so we got some military men involved and he was drilled thoroughly, it was after then he opened up on sniffing. That he mixed with the wrong crowd and boom.

He begged forgiveness and promised to change. He did for a few weeks but relapsed. He's been stealing my mums money and also asking friends and others for money just to get high. He does nothing except for his dream of exploits in his pursuit of a musical career (he's actually damn good)..

Right now i want to take action but i don't know how to go about it. I'm considering involving community youths coz that has proven effective in some instances, or yet again involve the army for another round of thorough drilling. Because we have prayed, and adviced yet to no avail. So I'm here for opinions and advice on how to handle this issue. Anyone here who's handled such cases before? I need your inputs.

As it is I'm the only one who can do anything about it as my other siblings (2 of them) are abroad, so it's just mum, my little bro and i here. Mum and dad are separated. My bro leaves with my mum but now mum wants him out coz of his irresponsible lifestyle.

Mods should please move this to the relevant section. Thanks

P.S - I'm not new here. Had to create a new account to stay anonymous

Escobarcole:
Hello peeps, I really need your opinions and counsel on how to handle this issue that is affecting my family.

Recently we found out that my youngest bro, our last born, does crack.. He's 24 going on 25.

As i speak to you he's supposed to be a graduate but nothing came out of his years in school. We knew he was doing weed which didn't go down well with us especially my mum, because my family is somewhat disciplined and responsible. Then lately we discovered he does white, from his own confession tho. An incident happened almost 3 months ago where he took my mums ATM card and stole 85k, also transferred another 15k from my mum's other account using her phone and deleted the sms alerts so we got some military men involved and he was drilled thoroughly, it was after then he opened up on sniffing. That he mixed with the wrong crowd and boom.

He begged forgiveness and promised to change. He did for a few weeks but relapsed. He's been stealing my mums money and also asking friends and others for money just to get high. He does nothing except for his dream of exploits in his pursuit of a musical career (he's actually damn good)..

Right now i want to take action but i don't know how to go about it. I'm considering involving community youths coz that has proven effective in some instances, or yet again involve the army for another round of thorough drilling. Because we have prayed, and adviced yet to no avail. So I'm here for opinions and advice on how to handle this issue. Anyone here who's handled such cases before? I need your inputs.

As it is I'm the only one who can do anything about it as my other siblings (2 of them) are abroad, so it's just mum, my little bro and i here. Mum and dad are separated. My bro leaves with my mum but now mum wants him out coz of his irresponsible lifestyle.

Mods should please move this to the relevant section. Thanks

P.S - I'm not new here. Had to create a new account to stay anonymous

Mariangeles:
No more "drilling" please.
He's struggling with addiction already as it is.

Apart from prayers, he needs your love and encouragement.
As someone earlier contributed, cut him off from the company he keeps, look for a good rehabilitation center to get him treated.

frozen70:
You guys need to relocate your mum so that his attitude which she sees won't lead to early death for her

Let your mum change her bank and he will not have access to her new pin

Your brother needs to be taken to a reformertary home, where he will be rehabilitated

This his passion for music career is what may make matters worst because he will be exposed to be high and higher on something

Keep involving the army to reset his brain
If you involve the youths, don't be surprise at a stage they will be weak to handle him because they too take it and they like themselves who takes it

Don't allow his madness to affect you because you have your life to leave

Just think about separating or relocating your mother as she is more of a concern

Spanishmilf:
military men for an addict??
SMH

frozen70:
Did you read where she said she used it for him and he opened up that he takes the white substance

Escobarcole:
Hello peeps, I really need your opinions and counsel on how to handle this issue that is affecting my family.

Recently we found out that my youngest bro, our last born, does crack.. He's 24 going on 25.

As i speak to you he's supposed to be a graduate but nothing came out of his years in school. We knew he was doing weed which didn't go down well with us especially my mum, because my family is somewhat disciplined and responsible. Then lately we discovered he does white, from his own confession tho. An incident happened almost 3 months ago where he took my mums ATM card and stole 85k, also transferred another 15k from my mum's other account using her phone and deleted the sms alerts so we got some military men involved and he was drilled thoroughly, it was after then he opened up on sniffing. That he mixed with the wrong crowd and boom.

He begged forgiveness and promised to change. He did for a few weeks but relapsed. He's been stealing my mums money and also asking friends and others for money just to get high. He does nothing except for his dream of exploits in his pursuit of a musical career (he's actually damn good)..

Right now i want to take action but i don't know how to go about it. I'm considering involving community youths coz that has proven effective in some instances, or yet again involve the army for another round of thorough drilling. Because we have prayed, and adviced yet to no avail. So I'm here for opinions and advice on how to handle this issue. Anyone here who's handled such cases before? I need your inputs.

As it is I'm the only one who can do anything about it as my other siblings (2 of them) are abroad, so it's just mum, my little bro and i here. Mum and dad are separated. My bro leaves with my mum but now mum wants him out coz of his irresponsible lifestyle.

Mods should please move this to the relevant section. Thanks

P.S - I'm not new here. Had to create a new account to stay anonymous

I wanna say a big thanks to everyone of you for your contributions, i really do appreciate.

I have read everything here, many brilliant ideas i would say. I always knew i could count on you guys. Unfortunately i cannot respond to every moniker that mentioned me but I'll try to respond to a few points raised.

Now, the reason i wanted to involve some community youths or the military was (coz the idea has been shelved) because of his habit of stealing my mums money. We used the military before because he stole money using my mums atm card and also from her phone, he'd been taking money for long before that incident but because of the trust mum has for her kids that she raised us well she didn't wanna believe my brother was responsible because he did it in a way everyone of us doubted he was the one not until the atm issue. So we resorted to make him talk by drilling him. So the primary reason for that was because he stole, by then we didn't know he was a drug addict, we only knew he did weed.

About a week after the drilling was when he admitted doing drugs and told his story how he started and got addicted. We were shattered, but more than willing to help him through it. He realized he was actually on the wrong path, was sombre and wanted/still wants to come out of it. Why i contemplated the idea of drilling him wasn't really for his drug addiction but for him stealing mums money coz he started again but like i said the idea has been shelved. I talked with my other bro, we decided a change of strategy which we already implemented. We're very hopeful and optimistic it will work out, though we know it won't be automatic.

Someone suggested I involve my father. My bro isn't even on speaking terms with my dad but we can't fault him, my dad messed up. My bro doesn't really have any fond memories of him. And truth be told my dad isn't exactly the father figure one wants to look up to, nothing to emulate whatsoever, very unfortunate. He abandoned us and my mum became our father and mother.

Some of you think I'm female, lol. We're 4 siblings, 3 guys and a lady. I'm not the lady. I'm the eldest with the lady and the other guy inbetween, same parents.

Yes he's addicted as it is RN, but it isn't at the critical stage. We're very very concerned for his future and even he is too because this guy is intelligent and very talented. He knows he needs to quit and urgently else he'll never amount to anything in life. Mumsi called me last night and said they spoke at length, hopefully it will end in praise.

I'll come here to update us on his progress one in a while.

Once again I'm grateful to all of you, i can't thank you guys enough. God bless

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