Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? - Family

Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? - Family - Nairaland

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Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by vaxx(op): 12:24pm On Oct 13, 2020

Firstly arranged marriage is a wrong terminology, because all marriages are arranged. By whom is the only question. Whether your parents or friends arranged it, or a commercial website or dating app arranged it, or you arranged it – any way, it is an arrangement..

So before you either arranged it yourself or family arranged it for you , ask yourself some question, why do you need to marry? What will you get out of it? This question is more important to men since the law are sometimes against them. Atmost care should be taken or else your whole life will be screwed up and no one will save you.

But I guess someone who is not matured enough to choose a partner is also not matured enough to get married . Don't get me wrong , there is absolutely nothing wrong if people who are much concern about your well-being decide to choose it for you. From my own point of view, a family arranged marriage comes with longer expiry date than the one will arranged for ourselves due to traditional and social conditioning, but on what basis is a marriage without commitment or authentic love as we see from most of our forefathers that were into it. Sometimes, it depends on each individual responsibility .

What about considering the last option. Don't get married at all?

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by kennethfranc(m): 12:24pm On Oct 13, 2020

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by Nobody: 5:08pm On Oct 13, 2020

nothing is wrong with it if the man is stinkingly rich and responsible

1 Like

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by pozehnani(f): 5:55pm On Oct 13, 2020*

Nnu

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by tobechi74: 11:00pm On Oct 13, 2020

It takes away responsibility from the individual. I would rather choose my own meal than let you choose for me

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by Smile4mee01: 12:53am On Oct 14, 2020

There is.nothing wrong with it. Infact it still thrives in the Middle east, India. Northern nigeria.

The problems in relationships these days exploded geometrically when women became more educated and independent which is not entirely a bad thing but it comes with a price. Not all women will have it all.

This boy meet gurl to some degree has not worked with increasing divorce. There are many stories in the bible where marriages were arranged and worked just fine.

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by vaxx(op): 10:01am On Oct 14, 2020

Smile4mee01:
There is.nothing wrong with it. Infact it still thrives in the Middle east, India. Northern nigeria.

The problems in relationships these days exploded geometrically when women became more educated and independent which is not entirely a bad thing but it comes with a price. Not all women will have it all.

This boy meet gurl to some degree has not worked with increasing divorce. There are many stories in the bible where marriages were arranged and worked just fine.

well i will say Arranged marriage by family brings ring of support system, such as support, guidance and protection from parents, in laws and relatives (community), when difference of opinion and mis understanding happens during early married life, they get authentic counseling.

If you want third party in your marriage which is also not a bad idea ( so far it is vested on concern interest ) then family arraigned marriage might be ideal.

1 Like

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by vaxx(op): 10:02am On Oct 14, 2020

tobechi74:
It takes away responsibility from the individual. I would rather choose my own meal than let you choose for me

the main issue here is you are not being forced or coerced to choose your food. How it comes doesn't matter

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by vaxx(op): 10:08am On Oct 14, 2020

Zzor:
nothing is wrong with it if the man is stinkingly rich and responsible

you are the reason some group of people think marriage is an illusion now adays . When you centre your marriage on material reward instead of true love, you become a victim of regret.

2 Likes

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by Nobody: 10:11am On Oct 14, 2020

vaxx:
you are the reason some group of people think marriage is an illusion now adays . When you centre your marriage with material reward instead of true love, you become a victim of regret.

what is true love without money,be deceiving innocent girls up and down,this same money will bring problems if you don't have it.Im not a materialistic person but the truth is the present world has designed it that way,lets just embrace the bitter truth

1 Like

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by vaxx(op): 10:32am On Oct 14, 2020

Zzor:
what is true love without money,be deceiving innocent girls up and down,this same money will bring problems if you don't have it.Im not a materialistic person but the truth is the present world has designed it that way,lets just embrace the bitter truth

then get married to someone on the same page with you . If money is really important for you, then you need to marry someone with a similar feeling. With the two of you on the same page, you can get the money. You don't necessarily need to wait till he is rich enough . You may end up waiting forever for such soul mate. Don't be a philosophical woman rather be a happy woman .

1 Like

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by okoIYAyin(m): 10:33am On Oct 14, 2020

Zzor:
what is true love without money,be deceiving innocent girls up and down,this same money will bring problems if you don't have it.Im not a materialistic person but the truth is the present world has designed it that way,lets just embrace the bitter truth

Well you're right to some extent.

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by Nobody: 4:41pm On Oct 15, 2020*

Nope, arranged marriages work. As long as the two parties involved are both two consenting adults, I see nothing wrong with them. Most parents go to great lengths to find a suitable/compatible partner for their son or daughter.

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by Dtruthspeaker: 12:15am On Oct 16, 2020

Smile4mee01:
There is.nothing wrong with it. Infact it still thrives in the Middle east, India. Northern nigeria.

The problems in relationships these days exploded geometrically when women became more educated and independent which is not entirely a bad thing but it comes with a price. Not all women will have it all.

This boy meet gurl to some degree has not worked with increasing divorce. There are many stories in the bible where marriages were arranged and worked just fine.

If you had the vagina, surely you would not be saying this, after all, you, the man, have the advantage in a marriage put together by others, other than you! lipsrsealed

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by Dtruthspeaker: 12:17am On Oct 16, 2020

vaxx:
well i will say Arranged marriage by family brings ring of support system, such as support, guidance and protection from parents, in laws and relatives (community), when difference of opinion and mis understanding happens during early married life, they get authentic counseling.

If you want third party in your marriage which is also not a bad idea ( so far it is vested on concern interest ) then family arraigned marriage might be ideal.

Once again, a non vagina speaks.

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by Dtruthspeaker: 12:20am On Oct 16, 2020

Zzor:
what is true love without money,be deceiving innocent girls up and down,this same money will bring problems if you don't have it.Im not a materialistic person but the truth is the present world has designed it that way,lets just embrace the bitter truth

But you raised Excess Money, not just money.

For Love (for Love is True) with Sustenance Very Valuable!

But people do not do Love, but Schemings and Manipulations, Actings and Calculations and all the things which are not Love!

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by Smile4mee01: 1:09am On Oct 16, 2020

Dtruthspeaker:
If you had the vagina, surely you would not be saying this, after all, you, the man, have the advantage in a marriage put together by others, other than you!

Well said. I am not a woman, and I dont think I can speak forn them. I am just wondering if this free will to marry anyone you choose has worked for our generation overall. If it has, then why is there a high rate of divorce.

Hmnnn...do men really have the advantage in marriage ?

That's would be an intresting debate.

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by hresso: 6:40am On Oct 16, 2020

People equate arranged with forced which is not true. Arranged can be a co-operative venture. As long as both people are still willing participants in the arranged marriage, I see nothing wrong with it. Who's to say that your family can't pick the perfect person for you? I think in many cases, we choose the wrong person when our family might have chosen the right person for us.

Sisisioge good morning cheesy

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by sisisioge: 6:52am On Oct 16, 2020

hresso:
People equate arranged with forced which is not true. Arranged can be a co-operative venture. As long as both people are still willing participants in the arranged marriage, I see nothing wrong with it. Who's to say that your family can't pick the perfect person for you? I think in many cases, we choose the wrong person when our family might have chosen the right person for us.

Sisisioge good morning

I agree with you...now stop mentioning me up and down. Thank you!

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by hresso: 7:11am On Oct 16, 2020

sisisioge:
I agree with you...now stop mentioning me up and down. Thank you!

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by Mryacks: 8:04am On Oct 16, 2020

There is nothing wrong in "arranged" marriage as long as the two parties involved will be allowed to decide by themselves if they compatible to go or not...

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by ABOVEDELAW: 12:18pm On Oct 17, 2020

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ARRANGED MARRIAGE PROVIDED IT BENEFITS BOTH PARTIES.

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by oazeez1991(m): 7:22pm On Oct 17, 2020

Arrange or not arrange, game wey go cut go still cut.

Re: Is There Anything Wrong With Arranged Marriage In 21st Century? by Hathor5(f): 8:30am On Oct 18, 2020

vaxx:
Firstly arranged marriage is a wrong terminology, because all marriages are arranged. By whom is the only question. Whether your parents or friends arranged it, or a commercial website or dating app arranged it, or you arranged it – any way, it is an arrangement..

So before you either arranged it yourself or family arranged it for you , ask yourself some question, why do you need to marry? What will you get out of it? This question is more important to men since the law are sometimes against them. Atmost care should be taken or else your whole life will be screwed up and no one will save you.

But I guess someone who is not matured enough to choose a partner is also not matured enough to get married. Don't get me wrong , there is absolutely nothing wrong if people who are much concern about your well-being decide to choose it for you. From my own point of view, a family arranged marriage comes with longer expiry date than the one will arranged for ourselves due to traditional and social conditioning, but on what basis is a marriage without commitment or authentic love as we see from most of our forefathers that were into it. Sometimes, it depends on each individual responsibility .

What about considering the last option. Don't get married at all?

I wanted to type that there is nothing wrong with arranged marriage as long as it is not forced but then I read the sentence in bold. Interesting perspective. It begs the question: When is a person mature enough for marriage? What makes a person mature enough for marriage? I would say that majority of people are not mature enough for marriage on the day of their wedding.

I don't understand the sentence in red. Arranged marriages of olden days were committed, were they not?

1 Reply

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