₦airaland Forum

why u dey vex? is it your money?

What kind of entitled spoilt brat would ask such a question? Do you know his financial status or struggles? He should just dash you his money because you happened to be born from the same womb? Go out and find work on your own my friend... the same way he did. Does he come to you when he wants to buy a phone?

Nobody owes you anything in this world. The sooner you understand that, the better.

CandyOps:
why u dey vex? is it your money?

Hahaha....

If I take a loan from him he reluctantly gives and if he gives, he disturbs me to give him even when he knows I'm struggling., he expects me to contribute to the house equally like him when he knows that sometimes I don't even see 15k in a month.

Take a loan to do what exactly?

I don't know what you have against your brother.

Is it that you are just looking for trouble where there's none?



Back then he was corrected and he changed for good. What's your stress now??


And to think you have started making your own money. Are you mad or what ??

I honestly don't understand the purpose of this thread

Africans and their entitlement mentality... Is it your money?

The little money he makes is obviously not enough for his to share, go get a job man

Don't mind those shouting entitlement here.

It's seem many of you don't have families.


Family are meant to support each other. The only thing that'll make me withdraw my support for a family member is if they become rebellious.

Just forget about your bro and focus on those that'll support you.

One thing that always make me go extra mile for my family is, I've been in situations where I needed help and I got it from them. I know how good it felt.

Blood is thicker man.

Equal2DeTask:
Hahaha....







Take a loan to do what exactly?

To settle a pressing need.

Blizzy9ja:
Africans and their entitlement mentality... Is it your money?

The little money he makes is obviously not enough for his to share, go get a job man

I have a job and I'm doing fine now like I said. But is it wrong to expect help from family?

I wouldn't be sad if he doesn't have trust me.

Karleb:
Don't mind those shouting entitlement here.

It's seem many of you don't have families.


Family are meant to support each other. The only thing that'll make me withdraw my support for a family member is if they become rebellious.

Just forget about your bro and focus on those that'll support you.

One thing that always make me go extra mile for my family is, I've been in situations where I needed help and I got it from them. I know how good it felt.

Blood is thicker man.

I expected mixed reactions but at least someone got it. Thanks for your understanding.

Omoh. I know NLanders will come for OP's head. I support what the commenter above said.

There's a lot of difference between feeling entitled and hoping or relying on your family members for help.

Entitlement breeds arrogance and resentment which the OP isn't expressing.

Family is meant to support each other, how will you leave your siblings and be supporting others? When the die is cast, who will you turn to if not family? When you're by the sick bed or you're celebrating, if family isn't there, who should be there before?

Why do people go all length to make family if family isn't important.?

The same thing that happens in the OP's family is what happens in mine. When we were younger, If you want to buy phone, we pass offering basket from eldest to youngest. It brings love and unity.

If you can't rely on family in times of need, then something is wrong with your family. No matter how hard you try to paint it as entitlement.

To the OP, thank God say hustle don dy pay, leave your brother and focus on your hustle. At least you have friends who can help you build.

OP,
Are your parents not alive? It's their responsibility to take care of you and your needs not your brother's.

You have no rights to his money, are you working for it with him? You already see that he prefers to pray and boost morale instead of parting with his cash.

He is stingy, look into your family tree, there must be that trait in your lineage or perhaps the guy is planning for his future and does not want to carry family responsibility like gala.

I hope his girlfriend runs for her life , see how you guys, parents included already chooked eye to know he bought phone for her and started to maltreat her for the misbehaviour of your own blood brother,instead of dealing with the root of your problem. Disgusting behaviour from the lot of you, and a sign of things to come for her.


Not all siblings are nice or close or spend money.

Supportive family members are a blessing and the exception not the rule.. It would be nice to have so much love and harmony and sing kumbaya but this is real life.. Kill entitlement mentality and known peace.

I have siblings like your brother who hate to spend on others or give money but wear extremely expensive things.. I paid fees for these ones oh and gave them pocket money while in school and still even give cash once in a while.. I know this is how they are, I don't expect anything from them at all and we all have good relationships.


Go and forge your own way, remove eyes from others.

At least this is a good person according to you and one even gives loan,why should you not pay back? It's a loan.

Support must not always be in monetary form, collect the verbal morale booster he can spare and face your life.

Mharvis:
I have a job and I'm doing fine now like I said. But is it wrong to expect help from family?

I wouldn't be sad if he doesn't have trust me.

It is wrong... Because I think this your expectation sounds like a feeling of entitlement and when it is not met you will feel disappointed, and this could breed hatred toward your brother.

You don't even know if he has enough to even spare, you don't expect him to displease himself just because he wants to appear as a good person before you and the other members of your family

He's spending on his girlfriend, so what? Is it your money? If she makes him happy why not... That girl could become his wife someday so what are we talking about? If she leave him for not taking care of her he's very likely going to slip into depression and the highest you can offer is advice.

Work hard and be satisfied with the little you're making.

Karleb:
Don't mind those shouting entitlement here.

It's seem many of you don't have families.


Family are meant to support each other. The only thing that'll make me withdraw my support for a family member is if they become rebellious.

Just forget about your bro and focus on those that'll support you.

One thing that always make me go extra mile for my family is, I've been in situations where I needed help and I got it from them. I know how good it felt.

Blood is thicker man.

Don't mind them, a brother is not entitled but a girlfriend is..
He can continue splurging on his leech of a girlfriend but his family can go to hell.
Tomorrow when that girl dumps his sorry ass or cheats with a richer dude, he will turn to these same family members for emotional support.. smh.

Personally, I do not like people who borrow all the time or have that sense of entitlement that you must always give them money.
Such people usually turn their backs to you when help is needed from them.

At poster, make your own money please and stop expecting but look forward to giving too.

Mharvis:
I have a job and I'm doing fine now like I said. But is it wrong to expect help from family?

I wouldn't be sad if he doesn't have trust me.

Yes, it is wrong. It is well known that anyone could be of help to you regardless of your root.
Don't expect anything from anyone but when you are in so much need and a sibling doesn't help, don't be angry. If someone doesn't help you today, he could tommorow.

Wait! Why are you upset? He doesn't owe you any support. He can only support out of love. On the flip side, what exactly do you do for him to make him want to support you at all times? I hope it's not simply because you are his ''brother?''

Please work for your dough, and build a network of people-- friends who can help in times of need. Leave him to his vices.

Kindly check my signature if you're an autism parent/guardian.

Thank you.

How come no one is drawing the line between entitlement and family responsibility?

I work with a former Governor's Sibling in my state and I swear all their immediate family became rich by one Sibling. She so much carried them that all of them are very comfortable now. Even when the Governor entered seat as a Governor, he awards contract to family to help their lives. That's how family ought to be. Like a poster earlier commented, if you you can't turn to your family in times of need, forget it, there's something wrong with your family.

Even God after giving us His Son expects us to give our life to Him. Of course atheists feels God is entitled to their life that's why they rebel against him. Lol..

@OP I don't think you're wrong in expecting help from your brother. We're humans and we all feel disappointed when what we expect don't come from where we expect it from. Just don't let the feeling turn to anger or resentment.

If he's not helping, don't take offense because that's the way life is. Just make sure you don't treat your younger siblings like that. This life no balance, no rely on anybody.. Hustle your best and leave the rest for God. Ciao.

Mharvis:
Good day guys. Something is bothering me and I want to gain from other people's experiences or wisdom.

I have two older siblings - a boy and a girl.

Right from my secondary school till now, my elder sister has been so supportive of me. She gave me my first phone in Secondary school, helps me with money whenever I call on her, she supports any hustle I do. I just love that about her.

My elder brother on the flip side is very unsupportive financially. I can literally count on my finger tips the times he has supported me financially.

It got to a time when my parents and other siblings started complaining about him that he was not bringing anything to the house despite working. The annoying thing to my female siblings and my mom is that he always supports his girlfriend. He bought her a phone and he has supported her very much financially but when I asked family for support for a phone I wanted to buy a while ago my parents have me 15k, my sister 5k, this my brother gave me 1k.

My dad upon hearing the complaints acknowledged the fact that he has noticed this behavior from him and even used another excuse to ban the lady from coming to our house again. I took pity on her because I knew it wasn't her fault and I had to talk to my brother to change his ways. Told him that if he continues this way, my parents will never accept this girl wholeheartedly.

Well he changed at home, he started contributing to family finances and my parents' disposition really has changed towards the lady but to individual lives he doesn't still contribute. I've been struggling since after NYSC to fend for myself and this my brother can support my hustle but he doesn't. If I take a loan from him he reluctantly gives and if he gives, he disturbs me to give him even when he knows I'm struggling., he expects me to contribute to the house equally like him when he knows that sometimes I don't even see 15k in a month.

I read a topic on NL some years ago and a comment that struck me talked about Africans or Nigerians in this context always feel entitled to their family member's money. I took that as a principle and that has been keeping me in check but at what point do you just conclude that this your sibling is unsupportive??

Things has started looking up for me now, I'm getting there and I no longer require his support any longer by God's grace, I have friends that can support me if I need finances without blinking but I just cannot shake off that feeling or forget the fact that if I need any support in future, I just cannot rely on him at all.

Please worthy of note is that he isn't a bad person - talk to him about problems in other areas like spiritually, emotionally, career wise or otherwise, he's ready to help but once it's finances, forget about it.

Is anybody going through this same thing?

Please share your wisdom, advice or experiences.

Make your own money first let’s see how many people you support. Leech!

You know he has because you’re in his pocket? Or you expect support automatically because you work for him and he owes you?

Better go and vex for your parents for not giving you money as it is their responsibility and leave your brother alone. He came to this world as their child same as you.

Shameless human being.

It's not normal. Family members should help and support each other esp. for a good course.

There's a reason why He placed us in families.

Julibet:
How come no one is drawing the line between entitlement and family responsibility?

I work with a former Governor's Sibling in my state and I swear all their immediate family became rich by one Sibling. She so much carried them that all of them are very comfortable now. Even when the Governor entered seat as a Governor, he awards contract to family to help their lives. That's how family ought to be. Like a poster earlier commented, if you you can't turn to your family in times of need, forget it, there's something wrong with your family.

What you've described here is nepotism and corruption. Weh don ma.

CanadianNaija:
Make your own money first let’s see how many people you support. Leech!

You know he has because you’re in his pocket? Or you expect support automatically because you work for him and he owes you?

Better go and vex for your parents for not giving you money as it is their responsibility and leave your brother alone. He came to this world as their child same as you.

Shameless human being.

Did someone hurt you?

Saccharine:
What you've described here is nepotism and corruption. Weh don ma.

See it the way you want it. You can't take that away from human civilization. There will always be the tendency to help family first. People only start complaining when it happens over and over again.

Stop Relying On Anyone. U Are A Man.

I think you need to stop depending on your siblings fpr finiacial assistant... Everyone will not be the same..

He probably has a reason not to share his money

Talk to your parent directly to help you source for money or get something doing to support yourself

Julibet:
How come no one is drawing the line between entitlement and family responsibility?

I work with a former Governor's Sibling in my state and I swear all their immediate family became rich by one Sibling. She so much carried them that all of them are very comfortable now. Even when the Governor entered seat as a Governor, he awards contract to family to help their lives. That's how family ought to be. Like a poster earlier commented, if you you can't turn to your family in times of need, forget it, there's something wrong with your family.

Even God after giving us His Son expects us to give our life to Him. Of course atheists feels God is entitled to their life that's why they rebel against him. Lol..

@OP I don't think you're wrong in expecting help from your brother. We're humans and we all feel disappointed when what we expect don't come from where we expect it from. Just don't let the feeling turn to anger or resentment.

If he's not helping, don't take offense because that's the way life is. Just make sure you don't treat your younger siblings like that. This life no balance, no rely on anybody.. Hustle your best and leave the rest for God. Ciao.

after you blame buhari of nepotism