₦airaland Forum

As a divide survivor I understand all too well what this term means.

Everyone plauged with depression understands all too well what the voices mean.

They are there , at the back of your head stern and judgemental, they are the culmination of every judgemental remark and criticism you have ever heard since you where a child. They are the combination of all the hurts pain and regret ever felt in your life and they just don't keep quiet.

They are constantly judging and shouting and saying and mocking and their noise is like a death sentence.

But no one understands. You go through life trying to live up to the expectations and the belief , you have to not be a shake to daddy or mummy.. kai your younger ones are there seeing this.. my cousins oh my cousins so I am the one everyone will speak about in their homes. I always knew I was just a shame... All the good times where just delaying this my fück up .

It's as if you constantly expect yourself to fück up and you just know that everyone in the family is expecting to hear that.

These are what the noise tells you... Your happiest memories are when everything went your way, it was as if the stars aligned in your favor , everything you touched turned to gold, you slept better , ate better, felt really good about yourself.

But that feels like a life time ago... For months now you have been scraping by. you hadly sleep anymore.. wake up to read posts on nairaland and wonder how that person is in real life , you check their profile and see and life looking picture, you check the topics they posted and see they are living abroad and immediately you get a sinking feeling. It seems like everyone in the world's life is in order but yours.

Then your heart races as you remember the debts and the fact that they may get you .. You try to block out the panic..

You feel bored and exhausted. Lately you haven't prayed .. when you do you just mutter the words just to be done with it

You have lost all expectations from prayer. The noise won't let you sleep or rest .

You are on a string

You find you easily get emotional lately about everything

You find lately you have been wondering about if there is life after death

You are barely holding on

But wait

This is not the end and it should not ever be not for you

Talk to someone

Talk to me

I am here for you

Suicide is not the answer

Send me a DM let's talk for a bit

GofuckYourself:
As a divide survivor I understand all too well what this term means.

Everyone plauged with depression understands all too well what the voices mean.

They are there , at the back of your head stern and judgemental, they are the culmination of every judgemental remark and criticism you have ever heard since you where a child. They are the combination of all the hurts pain and regret ever felt in your life and they just don't keep quiet.

They are constantly judging and shouting and saying and mocking and their noise is like a death sentence.

But no one understands. You go through life trying to live up to the expectations and the belief , you have to not be a shake to daddy or mummy.. kai your younger ones are there seeing this.. my cousins oh my cousins so I am the one everyone will speak about in their homes. I always knew I was just a shame... All the good times where just delaying this my fück up .

It's as if you constantly expect yourself to fück up and you just know that everyone in the family is expecting to hear that.

These are what the noise tells you... Your happiest memories are when everything went your way, it was as if the stars aligned in your favor , everything you touched turned to gold, you slept better , ate better, felt really good about yourself.

But that feels like a life time ago... For months now you have been scraping by. you hadly sleep anymore.. wake up to read posts on nairaland and wonder how that person is in real life , you check their profile and see and life looking picture, you check the topics they posted and see they are living abroad and immediately you get a sinking feeling. It seems like everyone in the world's life is in order but yours.

Then your heart races as you remember the debts and the fact that they may get you .. You try to block out the panic..

You feel bored and exhausted. Lately you haven't prayed .. when you do you just mutter the words just to be done with it

You have lost all expectations from prayer. The noise won't let you sleep or rest .

You are on a string

You find you easily get emotional lately about everything

You find lately you have been wondering about if there is life after death

You are barely holding on

But wait

This is not the end and it should not ever be not for you

Talk to someone

Talk to me

I am here for you

Suicide is not the answer

Send me a DM let's talk for a bit

At times i wake up feeling so happy for no reason,


I will remember all i hv passed tru and i will jst smile but damnnn it doesnt last.......


When i remember the challenges and responsibilities staring at my face i begin to feel so cold..........


How do i keep on pushing


What am i even hustling for when i got no parents to reap the fruits of their labour......


Been the lastborn why am i streesing my self


But then i remember that i have a life and family to build......


But will be partner be loyal and understanding



But this but that...........


Mehn life of a man aint fucckking easy........


Keep trying to move on but my past is still fresh in my memory.......


Do i belong to the gods


Am i GOD sent


Infact am jst like anything dat happens is the way it have been written......

Donspicey:
At times i wake up feeling so happy for no reason,


I will remember all i hv passed tru and i will jst smile but damnnn it doesnt last.......


When i remember the challenges and responsibilities staring at my face i begin to feel so cold..........


How do i keep on pushing


What am i even hustling for when i got no parents to reap the fruits of their labour......


Been the lastborn why am i streesing my self


But then i remember that i have a life and family to build......


But will be partner be loyal and understanding



But this but that...........


Mehn life of a man aint fucckking easy........


Keep trying to move on but my past is still fresh in my memory.......


Do i belong to the gods


Am i GOD sent


Infact am jst like anything dat happens is the way it have been written......

Hey don't despair let's have a chat

Dm me

GofuckYourself:
Hey don't despair let's have a chat
Dm me

Watsapp tinzz brotherly......

Good morning dear one

You are not alone

The noise did not overwhelm you yesterday and surely they won't today

Don't suffer in silence , you aren't alone

DM me let's talk

Cheers