Sonnobax15:

After reading this story,I don decide say na to manage our Nigerian women no matter how useless they are nai sure pass..

Honestly,the kind of divorce stories we hear about the west will make you wonder if marriage was really meant for both man and woman or for women alone..

A time will come when women from the west will end up marrying themselves because there won't be any man who'd wanna be a victim of their manipulation....

Na dat time e go be like "Africa na blessing in disguise for us wey be the no nonsense men

MansoryMX:



As a man If you get married outside Nigeria, know your boundaries with your wife, always make sure your name is not written in your wife’s book of death or else if y’all go through divorce path, you are definitely losing everything. If I were you, I will advice my friend to make peace with his wife, tolerate her and get back everything, plan on how to leave her with the kids back to Naija afterwards. Same thing happened to my wife’s elder brother in the UK but he was smart enough to outsmart the wife, sold off everything they have secretly and liquidated the money into bitcoin, did travel papers secretly and before she returned back from work one day, house is emptied and her husband already back in Naija with their two kids. The woman has refused to come back yet to Naija despite her own family plea fo her to come and face family meeting.

Michelle55:

Yeah.. Please do enlighten me

ASUNDER:
My friend is currently going through a divorce in the UK and having a hell of a time. His wife mounted as many allegations on him as possible during separation - domestic violence, marital rape, child abuse, drugs and alcohol use, adultery, forgery just to name a few. He had to leave the house. He has moved to a room in a shared house and now even struggling to pay the rent. He does not see his kids anymore (not by choice). He is very broke and in debt because of all that is going on. He can no longer afford a lawyer. He feels so powerless, helpless and hopeless that he cannot fight most of what his wife is putting him through in court. He represents himself these days.

He has stopped looking after himself and is always looking sad . He also lost his job due to his arrest and all the drama. He was arrested because he tried to go see his kids at his former home and his wife called the police that she was afraid of him and that he had come to harass her. Police arrested him even without any traces of any harassment. Note that he moved out of the family house voluntarily thinking that the period of separation would ease tension between him and his wife.

I always feel sad seeing him in this state and just wish that he could recover and bounce back. He is considering moving back to Nigeria.

Have you gone through divorce in the UK or do you know anyone who has? What was the experience and what advice would you give someone going through this?

Thank you.

Keshinr0:
Am against him coming back
You guys should give him support, help him get his life back.
Tell him to forget about his kids, for now, when they are old enough they will be with him him

Tats:


There is really not much he can do about it. The law favours the woman especially if they have kids. My white neighbour and his wife who are a relatively young couple have two children and when they had marital disagreement, he was the one that had to move out of the house. Luckily for him, his parents do not live far away so he moved to their house. He has a job so can at least fend for himself. Many Nigerian men are in the same boat as this man and are really struggling and that's why there are so many single and divorced older men here. He may even be the one still paying for the mortgage in the house that he is not living in and the lady could bring another man to the house to stay. He should focus on himself, but if he doesn't have a good job, then his life will be one of continuous struggle as he will not be able to get a new mortgage and will be living from hand to mouth or will be depending on the Government for pittance. To be honest, it is a difficult decision but if he thinks there is really no hope, maybe he should return to Nigeria and try to make something out for himself. His children will look for him when they are older. If he remains here he would need to work really hard to turnaround his situation.

Spectaclesawe25:


Lolz.... Which one is 'face family meeting'?
The man ran it the street way.
The truth is, it is better to be difficult from scratch to a woman in marriage, dnt be soft, dnt be too nice... They don't like nice guys, they want a Dangotes kind of man with a little touch of Kumuyi.
They are insatiable and unappreciative.. When u stay with them all day and want to build with them, they only think of themselves always.
I have a friend who would rather go out on weekends and stay late than stay with his woman at home.
This same guy was a first class student in uni and a complete introvert and church guy.

ASUNDER:
My friend is currently going through a divorce in the UK and having a hell of a time. His wife mounted as many allegations on him as possible during separation - domestic violence, marital rape, child abuse, drugs and alcohol use, adultery, forgery just to name a few. He had to leave the house. He has moved to a room in a shared house and now even struggling to pay the rent. He does not see his kids anymore (not by choice). He is very broke and in debt because of all that is going on. He can no longer afford a lawyer. He feels so powerless, helpless and hopeless that he cannot fight most of what his wife is putting him through in court. He represents himself these days.

He has stopped looking after himself and is always looking sad . He also lost his job due to his arrest and all the drama. He was arrested because he tried to go see his kids at his former home and his wife called the police that she was afraid of him and that he had come to harass her. Police arrested him even without any traces of any harassment. Note that he moved out of the family house voluntarily thinking that the period of separation would ease tension between him and his wife.

I always feel sad seeing him in this state and just wish that he could recover and bounce back. He is considering moving back to Nigeria.

Have you gone through divorce in the UK or do you know anyone who has? What was the experience and what advice would you give someone going through this?

Thank you.

HRprof:
This matter strong
That is to say British law protect woman, if its here in Nigeria is the other way round. My advise is that Nigeria men should learn how to protect their wife either in Nigeria or abroad to aviod this scenarios.
Anyway lets people who stay in UK give the guy better advice because for we in Nigeria will not give him better advise as Nigeria is lawless even in marriage issue as People do anyhow and get away with it.

ednut1:
Best to move back. Marriage gets scary every day. Nawa

KingAzari:


You never see anything.

Let me tell you, in the western countries, the most powerful people are in this order:
1. Women
2. Children
3. Animals(Birds, Fishes & Mammals)
4. Trees/Environment/Ocean
5. Gay men
6. Straight men (This is where most of us - the most endangered group - belong). SAD truth.

The day I told my white boss that I was getting married he wept for me just the way angels wept for people on earth the day God ostracized Satan to earth. He practically told me not to get married that I would live to regret.

na2016:


Come back to Nigeria to do what? Even if he is a cleaner in the UK, it is better than some consultants in Nigeria abeg.... The man should stay there, he will not die. He can move to another city in UK to start life.

babythug:
Divorce is an unfortunate situation to be in. Nonetheless it’s not the end of the world . Both himself and his former wife are to blame . He should brace up and try the following:

1. Dust himself and be ready to start over .
2. Face his career or job
3. Determine to be at peace with his ex no matter the level of provocation or otherwise
4. Be the best father he can be to his children given the circumstances. Pay whatever bills as deemed necessary and pay extra where possible
5. He should document any payment made
6. He must not bring the kids into the divorce by relaying what their mum has done or not done to them
7.

incogni2o:
Lesson for Nigerian Men trying to travel out with Family.

Please make sure you know your Wife 100%

Whites are more Individualistic.

Try to be the worst Man you can be for a while and see Her worst Character.

I appreciate Women being independent too, But with reason knowing there Husband is thier Head Anyday, Anytime.

I don't beleive in Men being oppressive but that the Wife should Know she has to be under her Husband.

We have a lot of ways to vent our frustrations here in Naija, but over there, no much way, Hence the many cases of Mental Issues and Depression.

Naija Man, Please be Wise.

One sure thing, If you can Make it abroad, You'll make it in Naija. Life is not easy anywhere, The Devil has no restricted zone on Earth.

sweetrace:


Thats usually for kids that grow up in Nigeria. He has to find an amicable way to be in his kids lives now. He does not want a situation where the kids will grow up and not want to have anything to do with him.

MansoryMX:


Two major things, one must be allowed and the other not allowed; Forgiveness and Pride. Pride is a poison in marriage because it's the basis for disrespecting others and for creating suffering in our lives. The moment one starts having pride against his/her spouse, that marriage is definitely hitting the rock! People you see who have been married for more than 50years and still going strong together don’t allow pride to becloud their sense of reasoning when they wrong one another or having one misunderstanding or another which is bound to happen in marriage, we are humans and we have both anger and happiness inside us which do comes out of us. It’s either you are angry or happy. You can’t be angry and happy at same time. So when you are in an angry state caused by your spouse or yourself then don’t allow pride, instead allow forgiveness to kick in! Well Na so my papa teach me when I told him I wanna marry lol. And since I got married it has been working for me like magic! I don’t fail to say sorry whenever I did something wrong to my wife, likewise she. Pride is the major cause of all broken marriages.

Uncharted56:
it's like you don't know onyibo women

Keshinr0:


it's like you don't know out things work in these countries.
The wife can sue him for stalking on their children

akeeng:


Hmmmm. This is easy to type. You wouldn’t understand what not being able/allowed to see you child(ren) means until you are in that situation