₦airaland Forum

pappilo:
Yes. Met in Uni, came to the UK together

Kelvin3476:
AS A GUY WEY U BE EHN, MAKE U NO EVER BRING A WOMAN TO ABROAD NOR MATTER HOW U TRUSTED HIM.

LongNipple:
My Uncle in United States just came out of a Divorce. It's was TERRIBLE. And I mean Terrible!!!

His wife filed for a Divorce stating she is tired of the marriage and she wants him to be paying her Child Support. The Court took his House, His Cars. Sold the house and gave 80% of the money to the wife.
During that period, he lost his job as well. He almost went into Depression. He wasn't seeing his Child cos the court ordered the wife to take the child becos she is underaged.
He was back to square one.

We kept on encouraging him during that period. He managed to get a Car on hire through someone and was using it for UBER. Tried applying to work a Hospital (according to them, they say thats where money is at least) but was unsuccessful cos he is not a Medical personnel.
He slept on the streets. In his car. In people's stair cases. Kept his remains property in a place where he pays weekly for its safety.

The large chunk of his properties such as TV, Fridge and other, the court asked them to sell and share the money equally. The wife then demanded for CHILD SUPPORT. He started paying for Child Support with UBER work. Come and see suffer. Any money that enters his account will be wired to his Ex-Wife.
It got to a time his female lawyer started using style to side his ex-wife and her lawyers during round table court hearings cos she's is also a divorcee.
Life was hard for him mehn.
He started falling sick everyday. Sometimes he would call us and want to start crying. I felt for him but there was a limit to what I could do.

But like they say, it's only GOD that has the final say. We started doing prayers for him here in Nigeria. After some months, He got a job at a Hospital. He started collected small money. He got a small Apartment. Paid for the Car he used for UBER. Things started taking a new turn.

Right now, the 20% proceeds from the sale of his house has just been released to him after 2 years and he has bought himself a decent house. He still pays for children support with the money he gets from his hospital work.

He came back to Nigeria and he has remarried. The wife would be joining him over there soon.

He is about to tell the Lawyers to release his daughter to him cos he now has a female figure who can take care of her and her wants his daughter to be with him as the father.

He is happy Now. No more sicknesses like before. When the ex wife saw that he is now progressing. She started using style to come back to him shamelessly but he told her to keep off.

It's only a matter of time. God will always stand up for his own. We just need to be strong and have faith in him for every negative thing we are passing through right now will one day become a story we all will look back at and be glad we never gave up.

lekki1444:
who is ebue

LongNipple:
My Uncle in United States just came out of a Divorce. It's was TERRIBLE. And I mean Terrible!!!

His wife filed for a Divorce stating she is tired of the marriage and she wants him to be paying her Child Support. The Court took his House, His Cars. Sold the house and gave 80% of the money to the wife.
During that period, he lost his job as well. He almost went into Depression. He wasn't seeing his Child cos the court ordered the wife to take the child becos she is underaged.
He was back to square one.

We kept on encouraging him during that period. He managed to get a Car on hire through someone and was using it for UBER. Tried applying to work a Hospital (according to them, they say thats where money is at least) but was unsuccessful cos he is not a Medical personnel.
He slept on the streets. In his car. In people's stair cases. Kept his remains property in a place where he pays weekly for its safety.

The large chunk of his properties such as TV, Fridge and other, the court asked them to sell and share the money equally. The wife then demanded for CHILD SUPPORT. He started paying for Child Support with UBER work. Come and see suffer. Any money that enters his account will be wired to his Ex-Wife.
It got to a time his female lawyer started using style to side his ex-wife and her lawyers during round table court hearings cos she's is also a divorcee.
Life was hard for him mehn.
He started falling sick everyday. Sometimes he would call us and want to start crying. I felt for him but there was a limit to what I could do.

But like they say, it's only GOD that has the final say. We started doing prayers for him here in Nigeria. After some months, He got a job at a Hospital. He started collected small money. He got a small Apartment. Paid for the Car he used for UBER. Things started taking a new turn.

Right now, the 20% proceeds from the sale of his house has just been released to him after 2 years and he has bought himself a decent house. He still pays for children support with the money he gets from his hospital work.

He came back to Nigeria and he has remarried. The wife would be joining him over there soon.

He is about to tell the Lawyers to release his daughter to him cos he now has a female figure who can take care of her and her wants his daughter to be with him as the father.

He is happy Now. No more sicknesses like before. When the ex wife saw that he is now progressing. She started using style to come back to him shamelessly but he told her to keep off.

It's only a matter of time. God will always stand up for his own. We just need to be strong and have faith in him for every negative thing we are passing through right now will one day become a story we all will look back at and be glad we never gave up.

xandy84:
Please don't tell me what you don't know nothing about. I live in the States, going thru a divorce at the moment. Like I said earlier, thw OP is not telling full story. NOBODY arrest you for visiting your house except there is a restraining order against you and you don't get locked up for forgery allegation except there is a proof.

SURElee:
You mentioned domestic violence as one of the many allegations against your friend.

Now, if he wasn't violent towards his wife, he wouldn't have been arrested or She wouldn't have been scared when he came to see his kids. It was the fear of a possible violent altercation that led her to calling to police.

Nigerian men have to know that what they do to women in Naija here and get applauded, they will get the boot for it over there.


I won't comment further , because you are simply giving a one sided report of what you have heard the man say. You haven't heard the wife's side of the story.

It takes two to make marriage work.

Your friend should sit and truthfully analyse what went wrong and take steps to better his life. It is either they make up or go separate ways in which he is healthy, mentally and emotionally stable even after the divorce.
He need to stay alive and be stable upstairs , he wouldn't be the first in this case.

SURElee:
You mentioned domestic violence as one of the many allegations against your friend.

Now, if he wasn't violent towards his wife, he wouldn't have been arrested or She wouldn't have been scared when he came to see his kids. It was the fear of a possible violent altercation that led her to calling to police.

Nigerian men have to know that what they do to women in Naija here and get applauded, they will get the boot for it over there.


I won't comment further , because you are simply giving a one sided report of what you have heard the man say. You haven't heard the wife's side of the story.

It takes two to make marriage work.

Your friend should sit and truthfully analyse what went wrong and take steps to better his life. It is either they make up or go separate ways in which he is healthy, mentally and emotionally stable even after the divorce.
He need to stay alive and be stable upstairs , he wouldn't be the first in this case.

famzynet:
How does one including wife's name in mortgage papers benefit the man in case of divorce? Please enlighten us.

grafixdon:
My brother had the same issue with his wife some years ago... Unfortunately for him he was deported back to Nigeria without a penny after many years in uk. Meanwhile, he was the one who took his wife to the uk.

After he was reported, she doesn't even allow him to speak with his kids (2girls) on phone. He later suffers depression, always on drugs, he couldn't work or do anything meaningful, totally useless... Today, the guy is in rehab in Yaba, he's shadow of himself as I speak...

pappilo:
You are the one chatting dust. Arrest is an investigatory tool. Hundreds of thousands of innocent people are arrested every year. If I cut myself with a blade and call the police and tell them ABC stabbed me, the police will arrest ABC for "a prompt and effective investigation" (PACE code G).

They arrest not because you are guilty but to aid their investigation i.e interview you, take DNA and biometric samples, seize evidence. As a precaution they will release you on bail while they continue your their investigation and a condition of the bail will be to not go near the victim.

Women know this and thats why they make up all kinds of claims. Although not all allegations are false.

ednut1:
Best to move back. Marriage gets scary every day. Nawa

koxi:
My dear I understand.
Advice your friend to seek for government/public sponsored attorneys...they have them there as they do here in the US. They will help him fight his case.
The major setback is that the system is designed to favor the woman/wife but in some cases the man/husband can be successful.

But here’s the CAVEAT:
If your friend, at any point whatsoever, has physically abused the wife or kids and there’s proof, tell him to RUN AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE.
They will nail his a*ss! For good!!
Because there are always two sides to every story, he should tread carefully.
Wish him all the best...

Keshinr0:
Am against him coming back
You guys should give him support, help him get his life back.
Tell him to forget about his kids, for now, when they are old enough they will be with him him

Tats:
There is really not much he can do about it. The law favours the woman especially if they have kids. My white neighbour and his wife who are a relatively young couple have two children and when they had marital disagreement, he was the one that had to move out of the house. Luckily for him, his parents do not live far away so he moved to their house. He has a job so can at least fend for himself. Many Nigerian men are in the same boat as this man and are really struggling and that's why there are so many single and divorced older men here. He may even be the one still paying for the mortgage in the house that he is not living in and the lady could bring another man to the house to stay. He should focus on himself, but if he doesn't have a good job, then his life will be one of continuous struggle as he will not be able to get a new mortgage and will be living from hand to mouth or will be depending on the Government for pittance. To be honest, it is a difficult decision but if he thinks there is really no hope, maybe he should return to Nigeria and try to make something out for himself. His children will look for him when they are older. If he remains here he would need to work really hard to turnaround his situation.

Tats:
There is really not much he can do about it. The law favours the woman especially if they have kids. My white neighbour and his wife who are a relatively young couple have two children and when they had marital disagreement, he was the one that had to move out of the house. Luckily for him, his parents do not live far away so he moved to their house. He has a job so can at least fend for himself. Many Nigerian men are in the same boat as this man and are really struggling and that's why there are so many single and divorced older men here. He may even be the one still paying for the mortgage in the house that he is not living in and the lady could bring another man to the house to stay. He should focus on himself, but if he doesn't have a good job, then his life will be one of continuous struggle as he will not be able to get a new mortgage and will be living from hand to mouth or will be depending on the Government for pittance. To be honest, it is a difficult decision but if he thinks there is really no hope, maybe he should return to Nigeria and try to make something out for himself. His children will look for him when they are older. If he remains here he would need to work really hard to turnaround his situation.

babythug:
Divorce is an unfortunate situation to be in. Nonetheless it’s not the end of the world . Both himself and his former wife are to blame . He should brace up and try the following:

1. Dust himself and be ready to start over .
2. Face his career or job
3. Determine to be at peace with his ex no matter the level of provocation or otherwise
4. Be the best father he can be to his children given the circumstances. Pay whatever bills as deemed necessary and pay extra where possible
5. He should document any payment made
6. He must not bring the kids into the divorce by relaying what their mum has done or not done to them
7.

baddosky1:
Love a Nigerian lady= [b]Big Mistake

Marry a Nigerian Lady= Bigger Mistake

Marry a Nigerian Lady and relocate abroad with her = Biggest and worst mistake that will eventually kill you

LongNipple:
My Uncle in United States just came out of a Divorce. It's was TERRIBLE. And I mean Terrible!!!

His wife filed for a Divorce stating she is tired of the marriage and she wants him to be paying her Child Support. The Court took his House, His Cars. Sold the house and gave 80% of the money to the wife.
During that period, he lost his job as well. He almost went into Depression. He wasn't seeing his Child cos the court ordered the wife to take the child becos she is underaged.
He was back to square one.

We kept on encouraging him during that period. He managed to get a Car on hire through someone and was using it for UBER. Tried applying to work a Hospital (according to them, they say thats where money is at least) but was unsuccessful cos he is not a Medical personnel.
He slept on the streets. In his car. In people's stair cases. Kept his remains property in a place where he pays weekly for its safety.

The large chunk of his properties such as TV, Fridge and other, the court asked them to sell and share the money equally. The wife then demanded for CHILD SUPPORT. He started paying for Child Support with UBER work. Come and see suffer. Any money that enters his account will be wired to his Ex-Wife.
It got to a time his female lawyer started using style to side his ex-wife and her lawyers during round table court hearings cos she's is also a divorcee.
Life was hard for him mehn.
He started falling sick everyday. Sometimes he would call us and want to start crying. I felt for him but there was a limit to what I could do.

But like they say, it's only GOD that has the final say. We started doing prayers for him here in Nigeria. After some months, He got a job at a Hospital. He started collected small money. He got a small Apartment. Paid for the Car he used for UBER. Things started taking a new turn.

Right now, the 20% proceeds from the sale of his house has just been released to him after 2 years and he has bought himself a decent house. He still pays for children support with the money he gets from his hospital work.

He came back to Nigeria and he has remarried. The wife would be joining him over there soon.

He is about to tell the Lawyers to release his daughter to him cos he now has a female figure who can take care of her and her wants his daughter to be with him as the father.

He is happy Now. No more sicknesses like before. When the ex wife saw that he is now progressing. She started using style to come back to him shamelessly but he told her to keep off.

It's only a matter of time. God will always stand up for his own. We just need to be strong and have faith in him for every negative thing we are passing through right now will one day become a story we all will look back at and be glad we never gave up.

pappilo:
I am going through the same and at some point in the story I thought it was about me

Probably too late now but if possible, beg, grovel, apologise, send emissaries for what you did and didnt do but be sure not to implicate yourself. I say this because you can never win. In my experience, begging didnt work but it is prudent to try.

Another thing for any man who finds himself in a toxic marriage is to know when to give up on the marriage and move strategically. I held on too long not really for love but for the sake of my children but remember the children will survive if you are there or not.

I left the house a few times thinking things will get better but it didnt help. It emboldened my ex wife and she started to invite her boyfriend into our family home when I wasnt there. Her boyfriend moved into our home only about 3 weeks after I was arrested and told by the police not to return to the house. And I still part paid the mortgage for almost a year until I transferred my interest in it over to her.

I moved to a garage conversion in a shared house. The garage obviously had no insulation so cold almost killed me in winter. Used to sleep with full tracksuit, electric blanket and heater. I have moved to my own flat now.

I caught a few charges from her and her boyfriend and I am on trial in crown court next month. They are serious charges but I am optimistic that even if found guilty there will be no jail time as I am of good character. I am kind of prepared for the worst though so although not concrete my plan B will be to relocate to Nigeria if I do get prison time as I will lose my job and the prospects wont be good on release.

I have been working a second job and doing 75hrs a week for about 11 months and this has helped me pay part of my criminal defence fees which are just a little under £15,000. But even with that I am over £10,000 in debt.

I was mad suicidal for a long time and always feeling sorry for myself but I had to pick myself up. Doing 2 jobs helped to keep me occupied so it must be tough for your friend if he is not busy doing something and keeps thinking.

Thankfully my divorce went as smoothly as possible as she didnt object to it and it was granted just over a year after I was banished from the house. It could have even happened earlier if I didnt develop cold feet a few times.

Sonnobax15:

After reading this story,I don decide say na to manage our Nigerian women no matter how useless they are nai sure pass..

Honestly,the kind of divorce stories we hear about the west will make you wonder if marriage was really meant for both man and woman or for women alone..

A time will come when women from the west will end up marrying themselves because there won't be any man who'd wanna be a victim of their manipulation....

Na dat time e go be like "Africa na blessing in disguise for us wey be the no nonsense men

LongNipple:
My Uncle in United States just came out of a Divorce. It's was TERRIBLE. And I mean Terrible!!!

His wife filed for a Divorce stating she is tired of the marriage and she wants him to be paying her Child Support. The Court took his House, His Cars. Sold the house and gave 80% of the money to the wife.
During that period, he lost his job as well. He almost went into Depression. He wasn't seeing his Child cos the court ordered the wife to take the child becos she is underaged.
He was back to square one.

We kept on encouraging him during that period. He managed to get a Car on hire through someone and was using it for UBER. Tried applying to work a Hospital (according to them, they say thats where money is at least) but was unsuccessful cos he is not a Medical personnel.
He slept on the streets. In his car. In people's stair cases. Kept his remains property in a place where he pays weekly for its safety.

The large chunk of his properties such as TV, Fridge and other, the court asked them to sell and share the money equally. The wife then demanded for CHILD SUPPORT. He started paying for Child Support with UBER work. Come and see suffer. Any money that enters his account will be wired to his Ex-Wife.
It got to a time his female lawyer started using style to side his ex-wife and her lawyers during round table court hearings cos she's is also a divorcee.
Life was hard for him mehn.
He started falling sick everyday. Sometimes he would call us and want to start crying. I felt for him but there was a limit to what I could do.

But like they say, it's only GOD that has the final say. We started doing prayers for him here in Nigeria. After some months, He got a job at a Hospital. He started collected small money. He got a small Apartment. Paid for the Car he used for UBER. Things started taking a new turn.

Right now, the 20% proceeds from the sale of his house has just been released to him after 2 years and he has bought himself a decent house. He still pays for children support with the money he gets from his hospital work.

He came back to Nigeria and he has remarried. The wife would be joining him over there soon.

He is about to tell the Lawyers to release his daughter to him cos he now has a female figure who can take care of her and her wants his daughter to be with him as the father.

He is happy Now. No more sicknesses like before. When the ex wife saw that he is now progressing. She started using style to come back to him shamelessly but he told her to keep off.

It's only a matter of time. God will always stand up for his own. We just need to be strong and have faith in him for every negative thing we are passing through right now will one day become a story we all will look back at and be glad we never gave up.

Heathrow44:
Don't come back Mr. Man, u just lost ur life cos of a woman and u re running with ur tails behind, Fight ur divorce case and stay in the UK and build up again, if u come back to Nigeria u have failed ur future self! Europe is the worst place to marry a woman, mostly Britain goosh! Divorce is a business among women there, the best thing people should do is to sign an agreement, or falsely declare their assets

Heathrow44:
Leave that other idiot up there saying he should move back t nigeria, I'm sure is a woman using male moniker! He needs all the support he can get, but I thought in divorce cases the state provide a lawye/state prosecutor 4 people that for one rsn or another don't have one!