₦airaland Forum

Bouz:
Is his wife, a nigerian or a foreigner

It doesn’t matter. Nigerian women are worse!

ElijahIme1992:
Looooooool which kind mumu man go marry for UK......dats y I like my naija...here na 50-50...let him enjoy his wahala jare

Alaye! Don’t marry anywhere.....don’t sign any legal papers anywhere on this planet! I don talk my own.

dermmy:
It is well.

Rubbish! What is well?

pappilo:
It is too late. After the arrest and before I was charged she had actually gone to the police and made a statement saying she wanted to be no part of the prosecution (found this out during discovery/disclosure) but about 3 months later, she went back and said she wanted to support the prosecution.

My ex wife is/was not a bad person. She is totally into her new man so will do anything he says. He is the one pulling the strings. What kind of a man moves into a married woman's home when he was part of the reason the woman's husband was barred from the house?

I begged my ex wife, cried sent people she respects, pastor e.t.c. but no success. I can kind of understand he predicament though. She probably doesnt want to lose her new man. There are things that may come out during the trial that will very damaging for her but despite being aware of this she is determined to see it through.

I am past the worst and this trial and potential criminal record doesnt faze me. If I didnt kill myself in 2020 when I was at the lowest I have been as a human being, anything that befalls me now na moimoi.

Depression is real o. I had proper plans of how to top myself. Thank goodness that on some days I was just so scared and other days I had someone to talk sense into my head.

I just want to wish you the best in all the pending cases. If this could not get you down, nothing else ever will and you will one day look back and share this story from a much better place. It's in the toughest of times the best of men are made.

Tats:
I'm not sure universal credit can pay his rent. he needs to go to his council and declare homelessness. He can go onto the housing register but his turn will not reach for the next 3 years to be given a single flat because a single man is the least priority on the housing list. Sick and vulnerable people, single parents, families, single women all have higher priority on the list. A single man is the least priority on that list. With homelessness, that is the only way council can give him money for rent and that will be for one room in a shared house or apartment at no more than about £500 a month is what councils can afford.

My wife worked for universal credit for 6 months and she told me they now pay rent. As high as £800 per month. Just that rent money wont be given to him but paid directly to the landlord.

He will be also given £400 in addition. Council will take forever to come through

seunmsg:
It’s not a matter of what if, it’s very certain. She will soon get married to another man and they will both be enjoying the sweat of the first husband and be laughing at him. We’ve seen this play out over and over again.

Na lie!!! Big lie!

She’ll certainly find a boyfriend but never a husband. Not in this UK!

richie240:
Jesu!!!
Can u imagine!
This s part of d reason 'men are going their own ways' nowadays.

They are gradually realizing that d phrase 'settle down' wasn't a coincidental derivation; it literally means what it is!

The marriage is over 90% beneficial yo the woman. If not for legitimate sex and procreation, a man has absolutely no biz tying d knot.

Is d milk worth buying d cow?
I think not!

Legitimate what? Nonsense! Go and marry a Nigerian woman in UK,US or Canada as see your life

NoSentiment:
That's the price u pay for marrying there. The bright sparks from Naija when they arrive uk go to any length to marry British women not knowing the implications. Women and children are the most protected group of ppl in the uk. It is as though the powers that be there have sworn to avenge the past centuries of abuse of women and children there. Many responsible men never touch women with a badge pole in the Uk

A woman will have to give me £5m to marry her in the UK, after I have transferred the money offshore oooo! Nonsense, marriage ko marriage ni!

ibedun:
Too many here. Homeless depressed and finished!!!! How old is he?

46

KingAzari:
Marriage is a scam. Nobody should ever get married if not to have kids.

What do you need kids for sir? Just a question please?

ednut1:
Best to move back. Marriage gets scary every day. Nawa

If he moves back, he might commit suicide. Let him remain there and look for another job. He has a better chance of getting back on his feet there than in Nigeria.

Ganjafama:
If he moves back, he might commit suicide. Let him remain there and look for another job. He has a better chance of getting back on his feet there than in Nigeria.

Exactly

1beat:
Please remind him to do DNA test when the whole issue come down
He should go for counselling to avoid taking wrong steps and he should not consider coming to Nigeria is just like going back to that same marriage

Which DNA?
Someone that won't be allowed within 10 feets from the children else he can get arrested and sent to jail. Abroad matter no be like Nigeria oooo

TundeChris:
He should not move back. Encourage him to stay back, fight what he can fight and rebuild his life. You cannot give up your life because of some woman. Rebuild and bounce back, it will all be a story in a few years.

I have an uncle who got divorced years back. The woman collected his houses in the uk successfully, he literally lost everything. That was many years back, today he is successful again, even though single, he owns businesses in the UK and in Nigeria.

DONT GIVE UP!!!!!

She will take my property and I won't do anything

LesbianBoy:
When will warn you guys to be careful of women and don't be deceived by their pretty faces or innocent looks (that is for those that has it o) una no go hear.

Una go accuse person of being pained or a woman hater now look at.

Your friend should enjoy all his wife is giving him jare and stop disturbing us

Let him enjoy, when we are telling them about this gender they will not listen they will be bla bla you are a woman hater, sure na baby mama all the way

LongNipple:
My Uncle in United States just came out of a Divorce. It's was TERRIBLE. And I mean Terrible!!!

His wife filed for a Divorce stating she is tired of the marriage and she wants him to be paying her Child Support. The Court took his House, His Cars. Sold the house and gave 80% of the money to the wife.
During that period, he lost his job as well. He almost went into Depression. He wasn't seeing his Child cos the court ordered the wife to take the child becos she is underaged.
He was back to square one.

We kept on encouraging him during that period. He managed to get a Car on hire through someone and was using it for UBER. Tried applying to work a Hospital (according to them, they say thats where money is at least) but was unsuccessful cos he is not a Medical personnel.
He slept on the streets. In his car. In people's stair cases. Kept his remains property in a place where he pays weekly for its safety.

The large chunk of his properties such as TV, Fridge and other, the court asked them to sell and share the money equally. The wife then demanded for CHILD SUPPORT. He started paying for Child Support with UBER work. Come and see suffer. Any money that enters his account will be wired to his Ex-Wife.
It got to a time his female lawyer started using style to side his ex-wife and her lawyers during round table court hearings cos she's is also a divorcee.
Life was hard for him mehn.
He started falling sick everyday. Sometimes he would call us and want to start crying. I felt for him but there was a limit to what I could do.

But like they say, it's only GOD that has the final say. We started doing prayers for him here in Nigeria. After some months, He got a job at a Hospital. He started collected small money. He got a small Apartment. Paid for the Car he used for UBER. Things started taking a new turn.

Right now, the 20% proceeds from the sale of his house has just been released to him after 2 years and he has bought himself a decent house. He still pays for children support with the money he gets from his hospital work.

He came back to Nigeria and he has remarried. The wife would be joining him over there soon.

He is about to tell the Lawyers to release his daughter to him cos he now has a female figure who can take care of her and her wants his daughter to be with him as the father.

He is happy Now. No more sicknesses like before. When the ex wife saw that he is now progressing. She started using style to come back to him shamelessly but he told her to keep off.

It's only a matter of time. God will always stand up for his own. We just need to be strong and have faith in him for every negative thing we are passing through right now will one day become a story we all will look back at and be glad we never gave up.

Tell the foolish man he never learn! I wish him well....

ibedun:
Better forget the emboldened nonsense. If you want this please stay in Nigeria.

Its a free world though.

BUT ALL I KNOW IS THAT YOUR HUSBAND(TO-BE) IS DOOMED with your mentality

na2016:
Come back to Nigeria to do what? Even if he is a cleaner in the UK, it is better than some consultants in Nigeria abeg.... The man should stay there, he will not die. He can move to another city in UK to start life.

Ignorant fellow stop talking shit! What kind of useless mentality is this? I am 100% sure you’ve never traveled anywhere, otherwise you wouldn’t be talking this rubbish.

na baby mama be d way to go now.

SweetCunt97:
Communication, attention and care is key.... Money is never enough

Unsettled beings, nothing is ever enough even if you forfeit your life for them.

I blame foolish men who don’t understand they alone are enough. The world is full anyways so children don’t really matter as much as they use to.

pappilo:
I am going through the same and at some point in the story I thought it was about me

Probably too late now but if possible, beg, grovel, apologise, send emissaries for what you did and didnt do but be sure not to implicate yourself. I say this because you can never win. In my experience, begging didnt work but it is prudent to try.

Another thing for any man who finds himself in a toxic marriage is to know when to give up on the marriage and move strategically. I held on too long not really for love but for the sake of my children but remember the children will survive if you are there or not.

I left the house a few times thinking things will get better but it didnt help. It emboldened my ex wife and she started to invite her boyfriend into our family home when I wasnt there. Her boyfriend moved into our home only about 3 weeks after I was arrested and told by the police not to return to the house. And I still part paid the mortgage for almost a year until I transferred my interest in it over to her.

I moved to a garage conversion in a shared house. The garage obviously had no insulation so cold almost killed me in winter. Used to sleep with full tracksuit, electric blanket and heater. I have moved to my own flat now.

I caught a few charges from her and her boyfriend and I am on trial in crown court next month. They are serious charges but I am optimistic that even if found guilty there will be no jail time as I am of good character. I am kind of prepared for the worst though so although not concrete my plan B will be to relocate to Nigeria if I do get prison time as I will lose my job and the prospects wont be good on release.

I have been working a second job and doing 75hrs a week for about 11 months and this has helped me pay part of my criminal defence fees which are just a little under £15,000. But even with that I am over £10,000 in debt.

I was mad suicidal for a long time and always feeling sorry for myself but I had to pick myself up. Doing 2 jobs helped to keep me occupied so it must be tough for your friend if he is not busy doing something and keeps thinking.

Thankfully my divorce went as smoothly as possible as she didnt object to it and it was granted just over a year after I was banished from the house. It could have even happened earlier if I didnt develop cold feet a few times.
U

I admire your courage!

So in summary all these troubles was at the instance of a boyfriend.

Wow!

ibedun:
Unsettled beings, nothing is ever enough even if you forfeit your life for them.

I blame foolish men who don’t understand they alone are enough. The world is full anyways so children don’t really matter as much as they use to.

Shey you know the person you quote so?

See how you fall hand

pappilo:
I am going through the same and at some point in the story I thought it was about me

Probably too late now but if possible, beg, grovel, apologise, send emissaries for what you did and didnt do but be sure not to implicate yourself. I say this because you can never win. In my experience, begging didnt work but it is prudent to try.

Another thing for any man who finds himself in a toxic marriage is to know when to give up on the marriage and move strategically. I held on too long not really for love but for the sake of my children but remember the children will survive if you are there or not.

I left the house a few times thinking things will get better but it didnt help. It emboldened my ex wife and she started to invite her boyfriend into our family home when I wasnt there. Her boyfriend moved into our home only about 3 weeks after I was arrested and told by the police not to return to the house. And I still part paid the mortgage for almost a year until I transferred my interest in it over to her.

I moved to a garage conversion in a shared house. The garage obviously had no insulation so cold almost killed me in winter. Used to sleep with full tracksuit, electric blanket and heater. I have moved to my own flat now.

I caught a few charges from her and her boyfriend and I am on trial in crown court next month. They are serious charges but I am optimistic that even if found guilty there will be no jail time as I am of good character. I am kind of prepared for the worst though so although not concrete my plan B will be to relocate to Nigeria if I do get prison time as I will lose my job and the prospects wont be good on release.

I have been working a second job and doing 75hrs a week for about 11 months and this has helped me pay part of my criminal defence fees which are just a little under £15,000. But even with that I am over £10,000 in debt.

I was mad suicidal for a long time and always feeling sorry for myself but I had to pick myself up. Doing 2 jobs helped to keep me occupied so it must be tough for your friend if he is not busy doing something and keeps thinking.

Thankfully my divorce went as smoothly as possible as she didnt object to it and it was granted just over a year after I was banished from the house. It could have even happened earlier if I didnt develop cold feet a few times.

Wow! Sorry Bro!
You should have controlled yourself na.....you probably were violent in the relationship.

ibedun:
Wow! Sorry Bro!
[s]You should have controlled yourself na.....you probably were violent in the relationship.[/s]

Shey you did not read the part that his wife had a boyfriend that moved into the house.what does that tell you about the influence of the boyfriend?

mpire:
The story is always the same, there's always a side dude involved but often times the husband did not pay attention because the girl pretended very well. There's a woman with 4 children in the same UK that was cheating on her husband throughout their marriage of 12yrs ran away with children and got awarded £2m which the guy has been appealing for almost 10yrs; though the girl scammed another guy for second marriage to be getting money she was still sleeping with an old boyfriend and who goes to London frequently and also other men to cash out while she awaits divorce money. Once you catch them cheating cut it off immediately; this same woman now has been impregnated twice by two different men within corona era and has aborted twice at 44 years old with 4 children! Is it a coincidence that a woman got impregnated by the same guy her husbands accused her of sleepingwith? No, she's been doing it for a while and hiding it. Now you want a guy's lifetime work; asked court to sell all the guy's propertiesin Nigeria. Well that'show the system rewards a woman for committing adultery with several men. But here's the twist, the first husband fighting the £2m judgement has died in Nigeria but the girl isn't stopping she has taken the UK judgement to Nigeria court for execution. You can't save a whole.

I call it serial.poaching
A man/woman seems out married folks .gets them divorced and poach on their assets,finances and suck them clean.once down they move to their next victim

marisdgreat:
The same way other guys dey manage your useless sisters and also how ur dad manage ur useless mother. Any small thing una go open una wide gutter infested mouth dey insult ladies, as if Una self, mothers and sisters dey useful and responsible.

y u Dey vex? no be woman like u cause am? guys don't Dey run for una now, very soon na women who r not of good character go Dey suffer loneliness n depression.

Heathrow44:
Leave that other idiot up there saying he should move back t nigeria, I'm sure is a woman using male moniker! He needs all the support he can get, but I thought in divorce cases the state provide a lawye/state prosecutor 4 people that for one rsn or another don't have one!

See this Naija based adviser that has never travelled anywhere.......keep quiet oga

Heathrow44:
UK is that bad when it comes to divorce laws, I can never live as a married man in the UK how can I just live my house I built with my sweat for a woman that I married as a wife that came to the house with only one Ghana must go bag!!? What the hell!!!!! If is like this, I'm coming to London to live only as a single person and for vacation!

House you built in the UK?

We need to stay away from Nairaland sometimes

omoharry:
So you are suggesting that the man stays abroad alone while his family remain here in Nigeria ? Then why marry at all ? Its either he remains here with his family or he marries over them and be with them .It make no sense for a man to be abroad while his wife and kids remain in a different country apart . Why marry in the first place ?

Anyway ,it's seem painful & unfair when men are at the receiving end of social injustice in the U.K. .But over here in Nigeria ,women have been abused and maligned for crying out for injustice by thier husbands and our society will tell them to go back home and be a dutiful wife so that the man would be of good behavior .
Men would cheat on thier wives ,bring home-deadly diseases, due to thier philandering ,beat up these women if they dare stand up to protest against thier husband and take thier children away from them, if they dare ask for divorce .Especially when the wife is not financially independent .

I sympathize with these men that are going through hell in the U.K, due to thier divorce from thier wives . But I still believe Nigerian men still export thier alpha male tendencies with thier wives in the U.K. They should know that over there in the U.K. the woman is king but here in Nigeria they are subject and powerless .
They should learn how to adjust accordingly depending on the country they are .

Once the man goes abroad he should terminate the marriage in Naija, compensate the lady, provide for the children and move on......

Marriage is not permanent. And nobody should be allowed to marry unemployed dependent man or woman. They are not qualified for marriage.