₦airaland Forum

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

Do you regret fvcking the mother of your triplets

Doubloo:
I was really touched by your case, hence the following advise:
You're not in the position to be giving people money, your situation needs help. Your family should be helping you for now not the other way round or else your financial status will never improve.
Drop your ego, ask anyone that has child/children the stress they go through in raising them, needless to talk about raising 3 kids all at once. Before going to work in the morning, take part in caring for the triplet, help around the house, lift a little bit of the house chores from your wife.
Spend time to play with your children, baby sit them let your wife rest and see if there will be a change or not.
Your cannot claim to love the children if you don't love their mother.
This is my 2 naira advise, you asked for it.
Wish you wisdom to understand.
Shalom

u are a wise man.
Let him stop giving anyone money and concentrate on his family. At least he should give them more love and attention. With time, the kids will grow up a bit and start attending school. He can now consider starting a trade for the wife or getting her a job.
I understand how the woman feels. Caring for 3 babies with a limited income can be very frustrating. E no easy

Jossyfine:
Op you are not stingy but all you and your wife needs to do is proper planning. You have to stop eating out. Once you've gotten ur salary, sit down with ur wife and draw a plan. Eg:
After removing your Mum's 10k,ur 5k savings. Then the 40k should be planned on very well.
Nice
What kind of food are you feeding ur triplets? You
can buy raw maize (joro and dawa) soak and grind to process pap.
But she needs to buy peak powder milk (peak 123)about 3 tins, this should last a month.

If your kids are up to 6 months, you can introduce semi solid food like beans, draw soup and light swallow garnished with fish.
If your wife is not working, then she has to try and prepare breakfast for you to eat before leaving for work,or better still she can be packing lunch for you to stop you from spending on food in ur work place. Then when you get home in the evening, you eat dinner, this will help a lot in salvaging your finances.

She can locate the nearest bush market in your area to be buying food stuff you guys will be needing in a month.

Please, you can manage and increase her monthly upkeep to 30k,then persuade her to be making breakfast for you.

And lastly, learn to ignore her ranting and nagging while you encourage her to get something doing if your kids have come of age. you will scale through this phase soon.

Stay positive

Sowi to ask pretty lady.....are you single?

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

Bros just work hard and pray for God's fortune and blessing.

and please avoid quarreling with your wife.
25k for family upkeep na small money oo.
any wife go dey constantly get issue with husband.
from your words, I'm sure your wife's family are considerate sef.
they were willing to let you be until scan showed 3childrens.
any mother is most likely to loose patience also.
but please bear all grudges from your wife for now and work extra harder.
life can be trickish, but trust me, if you keep worrying your mind on how to get better and also work the worry, you'll find a soft landing in the end..
greet your twins for me also..

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

Omo na obituary she dey wish for . 55k salary minus wife xpenditure of 25k equals 30k. oga b like say Blood go don finish for ur body because I am nt sure say u r still alife

descarado:
I tell you.
Triplets, even for a rich man is quite handful.

25k for a woman with triplets, then his mum 10k.
Ogaa o.
People are already asking what is she doing.
What will a woman with triplets do bikonu?

The only money you need out of your salary is tfare. The rest should go to that lady. For now, she need all the help she can get.
Why are you giving your mum 10k when you all live together? Is she not making her own money? She is rent free.
You should be cooking and eating together.
Wifey will manage the food industry, if mum is idle, she should help take care of the kids and wifey should look for ways to argument. I hope as you are giving your mum, you remembered she too have a mum.

When u start doing the right thing, even with all the stress of taking care of triplets , you will enjoy that lady to the fullest.

What do you mean by what will a lady with triplets do?

There are several businesses she can do.

Your wife isn't the problem, your income is the problem.

25k can never take care of three children and a mother in a month.

You need to find a way to earn more

The problem is not the allawee you are giving her.She is the problem.Tell her to leave you and the children that your mom can help you take care of the kids.If you don't do that one of you will hit one with a sharp object.

aroundtheearth:
Tell her family she's threatening to abandon you with the kids, which is very selfish and irresponsible of her. Idk how the thought could even cross her mind. She needs to get a job or earning some money via a business of some sort. Providing for your family shouldn't be your sole responsibility, especially with 3 kids.

if she gets a job, who will take care of the kids?!

oceanized25:
Brother erm,your wife is right o...e be like you stingy small.
You give ur wife 20k n later 25k after many argument for the family upkeep...you guys are 4 in number,o wrong nau.
I am single,I don't consider myself as one who spends recklessly at all but uses 40k monthly...but somehow you feel you,wife,n kids should use 25k?
Try raise the money for family upkeep,I think 45k or 50 could be something for a prudent woman considering you don't have much.

How old r u?

if you wont use condom practice anal sex na . at least you can pour anyhow you like

Ofadaman:
Your wife isn't the problem, your income is the problem.

25k can never take care of three children and a mother in a month.

You need to find a way to earn more

So she should give her all his salary?

This part in bold is what many of the ignorant contributors here don’t know.

hopefulsoul1:
An average mom dont have 4 hours sleep at a stretch in the first 12 to 18months of birth of a baby let alone 3 babies. OP, your wife is a super woman.
25k isnt enough for 1 baby let alone 3 babies including the OP's wife and OP. Oga, dont let her have a mental breakdown, i hope youre involved in the home other than go to work and come back. That woman needs HELP! At least, give her 40k with petting oh, and help her out at home too. Double your hustle pls, 55k isnt much for a family of 5 pls, God will intervene. Appreciate her and see her become the babe you chased earlier.


Hope you guys have a sure family planning in place, cos na quadruplets fit follow oh.

Best comment so far, pls op listen to this advice, I normally don't write here although I visit on a frequent basis but this guy hit the nail on the head, yes mistake has been made but now you need to face the reality of it, look inwards and not about the money and find a way to be at peace with your wife and if worst happens your mom can take care of the kids whilst you are out there making sure you fend and provide for your kids... I will leave it at least for now. Goodluck

Mariangeles:
If you and your wife can find a way to be at peace with each other, and be of one mind, believe me, everything will be alright.
Even the little income will be manageable.

You might think money is the main problem, but it's not. It's just a part of it.
You both need to come together in peace, understanding and agreement, that way, the situation becomes easier to bear.

If you both continue the way you're going, even if you begin to earn up to #300-400k, it'll still seem to not be enough. There will always be something to fight about.
Be at peace with yourself, your wife, your children, and the situation, then it will become easier for you to work hard and earn more for your family.
Life is too short to live in regrets.
You're blessed with 3 beautiful babies, but you're blinded to see it. Be grateful.
It's not easy, yes, but hey! Life is a struggle for everyone, one way or another.

Joysticks:
So she should give her all his salary?

.

He needs to earn more

SweetCunt97:
What you could have done is keep ur priq in ur pant since you broke and Staying with family.

But.. erm... he didn't rape her na? Fucking zip up but free indomie and egg and hollandia juice will not allow some of you girls to get sense.

The truth is everything is now expensive, from Maggi to salt, my brother tighten your belt. She was not like that before marriage despite she knew you were managing o, i pray you get a better job.

All I see here are people who are not married giving silly advice, and people wey nor even get boyfriend wey dey give them urgent N2k dey advice too, OP don suffer

Chummynoni:
you bleeped up. you shudnt have settled down when you knew that you were not capable. cos u give woman belle, no mean say u must marry her. leave that woman before she sends you to hell

with triplets?

That's triple bills

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

Don't blame her the money is too small for ur family with 3 kids and the same time I'm not blaming u too because u have done ur best.
But j advice u if u guys go to church..then table ur issue to it church they might help u with a better job offer. That can sustain u.
U need at least 100k or 80k minimum job offer to handle ur family (management) thou

adedayoa2:
The truth is everything is now expensive, from Maggi to salt, my brother tighten your belt. She was not like that before marriage despite she knew you were managing o, i pray you get a better job.

as the man salary nah N50k were E wan tight the belt go?

you married a stupid woman........i have seen family of 5 managing with 55k or less and love is there in their two bed room face me face you


that lady is gonna wreck you down......

cococandy:
This part in bold is what many of the ignorant contributors here don’t know.

And how many Hours do you think the man sleeps?

Guy sorry for earning so little.... Nigeria currency na brother to Iran own..

get other side hussle...for Nigeria, if you get only one source of income, na risk you dey take so....
Know that...
If you get money and no time...you are not rich.
If you nor get money but have enough time...you are not rich.
But you have both time and money....you are indeed rich.
Guy try to get other legitimate hussle join... your finances go improve.
I get two wives and I dey go for the third one.

erico2k2:
as the man salary nah N50k were E wan tight the belt go?

you no see where I pray for am make God give am better job?

Won't say much but that your wife is trying...damn it 25k with kids and you expect her to be at peace with you?! Are you for real?! What will that even buy and for how many days?!

Kriss216:
A woman you're giving almost 50% of your monthly income and she's still not satisfied is not the right one for you, bro.



Channel your energy, time, finances on your kids. That woman will never give you happiness.

Bros 25k with 3 children..
if na your sister you go gree say the money enough.
if the woman na olosho or ediot, she for don dey cheat to make more but reality be say 25k for her and 3 children no be him for this current economy.
even if e manage feed the family, savings no go dey.

NIGHTMARE0O7:
Don't blame her the money is too small for ur family with 3 kids and the same time I'm not blaming u too because u have done ur best.
But j advice u if u guys go to church..then table ur issue to it church they might help u with a better job offer. That can sustain u.
U need at least 100k or 80k minimum job offer to handle ur family (management) thou

were the Job dey? and what is the woman doing to help the situation? abi she come to the marriage with the kids?

Mariangeles:
If you and your wife can find a way to be at peace with each other, and be of one mind, believe me, everything will be alright.
Even the little income will be manageable.

You might think money is the main problem, but it's not. It's just a part of it.
You both need to come together in peace, understanding and agreement, that way, the situation becomes easier to bear.

If you both continue the way you're going, even if you begin to earn up to #300-400k, it'll still seem to not be enough. There will always be something to fight about.
Be at peace with yourself, your wife, your children, and the situation, then it will become easier for you to work hard and earn more for your family.
Life is too short to live in regrets.
You're blessed with 3 beautiful babies, but you're blinded to see it. Be grateful.
It's not easy, yes, but hey! Life is a struggle for everyone, one way or another.

You be better person,may you continue to grow in wisdom and knowledge

Congratulations on getting a wife and 3 children.
Is not easy ra raa.
Even to get one children is not easy.
Some people will pump for 5 to 10 years, before they get one baby.
But, God do am for you.
You get 3 at once.

Naira landers, get this young man a better job, and his wife too a job when the kids are older.

Kriss216:
So, what is the wife contributing to the family? A man shouldn't care for his mum cos he got married to a senseless lady?

If 50% of the guy's income ain't enough for the wife, then, nothing in this world would be enough for her. She's inconsiderate and she's not a woman to bring happiness in a man's life.

please grow up. How can a woman with 3kids as babies work without help? Those kids are her job for the next 2yrs. Do you know how much is baby food in the market? Op is keeping 20k for himself yet expecting to be feeding breakfast, lunch and dinner from that same upkeep money from his wife. The young man should double his hustle and provide for his young family at least basic needs[i][/i]

Amaechi2023:
Bros 25k with 3 children..
if na your sister you go gree say the money enough.
if the woman na olosho or ediot, she for don dey cheat to make more but reality be say 25k for her and 3 children no be him for this current economy.
even if e manage feed the family, savings no go dey.

But the man take home is N50k make E take person do yahoo plus B4 una eye go reach ground