₦airaland Forum

Don't blame me
I did mention that this was my first time having an encounter with anything that has to do with romance.

I want her but all this is based on fear.
I have shared with her that what I feel might not even be love.
And I have told her that we take a step back a little to reaffirm my position.

As I said, this is my first time and I am simply trying to prevent mistakes and wasted time. Even if it doesn't work out, it should be for a good reason... One that doesn't let us think that we've wasted our time but rather learnt something

budaatum:
So, you have never caught her lying, and have painted a huge flag red to reason not to ever take her serious?

I think you should stop painting red what isn't there and start seeing the colour that is actually there or just get a less alarming colour to paint things with. But if you can't stop painting things red, then perhaps you should stop telling her lies and just tell her the truth, that you don't take her serious, for reasons best known to you.

I did mention I was not comfortable with the naughty aspect.

And thank you for your advice

Elusive001:
we only started the naughty side like 5 days ago,


Bros flee from fornication. Focus on your future for now

Bro
Na the gut feeling I wan listen to, but you know how human beings de behave

FitCorper:
The beginning stages of relationship n “love”, the first 6m-1y is usually bliss. Enjoy while you can cos her witchcraft go soon start. You know this will make you lose focus, why you still went ahead is what I don’t understand. Abi no be that be gut feeling you take de play so?

I have never caught her lying
That's what even surprised me.

Sometimes I stylishly revisit very very old sensitive conversations and she still holds true and even open up more.

As for the qualities, I did mention it.
A man that's hardworking and thinks rationally and long-term. A man that values communication over ego (I've told her this before tho)

If she lies...
Well it's a huge red flag and will surely be recorded in my lists of reasons to never take her serious

budaatum:
Have you ever caught her in a lie or is it just something you are creating in your head?

What qualities must she see in you to want to make a relationship with you work?

And how must she think a relationship with you can work if she lies?

⁸

Thank you
Thank you
Thank you!!!

Usmanovic95:
Relationships are good when you are with the right person. Even though not all relationships are alter bound, but it can help reshape and refine you.I will advice you to enjoy the moments and don't get too emotionally attached to the relationship,you are both still young and in the exploratory stage, mistakes are bound to happen.Lastly,if you notice any red flag😳 JAPA!!!

Na wetin I de think bro
Because I never hear woman talk that thing before.
I no really take this stuff serious that much.

Na just say make I try something new weda e go work

Hezzyluv:
You will not mind yourself and face your front (goals) Abi? Na this days of social media you wan fall in love ba? She's using "it's not your responsibility to take care of her" as a bit to make you losegurd and u want to fall for it abi?

Nope I never thought she was a thief.
What I thought is maybe she's lying so the relationship can work.

budaatum:
So, you are creating in your head that I am a thief, and you are allowing a Nairalander that knows nothing about me to confirm the thought you have created in your head despite the fact that I am only sending you my nudes and even let you see my WhatsApp so you know what I send to others?

I think you are just afraid of living, because our dating has nothing to do with marriage, and likely wouldn't if we take care to cǒndomise so I don't get pregnant. On the other hand, it seems you do not think you are good enough for me despite my interest in you, which makes me think you might suffer from a tad of unworthiness and insecurity. You are definitely not decisive, shown by you going to ask your Nairaland family, but I like you anyway just the way you are.

You can explore living life with me if you wish, and I hope you do. Like I said, our relating may lead no where, but I am certain we can leave a good worthy relationship behind us when we split if we ever do combine, and we just might form a lifelong unromantic friendship from thereon. But if you don't fancy me at this moment in time, best is you let me know so I do not waste your time or mine.

P.S. Don't my current nude make me look tasty? I send it to you because I trust you wouldn't go showing it to your friends like immature boys do, and because I want you to get to know my body and my mind.

😂😂

Zonefree:
Go and report her to the nearest police station around you. She's a thieff!

The same thing I thought my bro.

I came here to see how others people have experienced their relationship.

Honestly I don't actually fancy one right now, it's just that I'm thinking of trying something new

Zonefree:
That girl is a thiefff and bloodyy liar!

I'm 23 years old...
There's this girl I've been talking to for a month now and we've shown interest in each other but I'm hesitant for some reasons.

1. I feel that it's a waste of time cause I'm not financially stable yet. And I feel going into a relationship might make me not to be focused (I've told her this and she says that it's not my responsibility to take care of her)

2. After a month and 1 week she started sharing naughty pictures with me, while I enjoy it, I have a feeling that I don't love her but only lusting after her. I feel that we might end up wasting each others time .(I've also told her this and she says she understands my point but we can also know more about each other)

3. In the first one month we started talking, it was all about knowing about each others day and all that, and she started giving me hints that she likes me, we only started the naughty side like 5 days ago,

We've also talked about the things that will qualify us to be in a real relationship, not vibes or the one that relies on sex. We've talked about finance, health, life goals, and even morals from both our point of view.

And she's very open to deep conversations too and has shared her sex life and previous relationship.

But the fact that she started sharing her nudes with me scares me because I feel she's loose and does that to other guys.

Sometimes , she asks for my opinion when posting something's on her WhatsApp, if she finds out that I don't like it she deletes it and apologizes.

Sometimes before she shares something's on WhatsApp she asks me if it's ok even when we've agreed that we're not in a formal relationship yet, just trying to know more about each other.

4. We've shared that we are both looking for a stable relationship that won't stop us from chasing life goals or giving unwanted attention while neglecting our personal work or tasks. A relationship that may lead to marriage.

N.B
Yes I know it's way too early to discuss anything about marriage but we agreed to date LIKE we're to get married so we take it more serious.
We've agreed to ask the uncomfortable questions to know more about each other so the relationship can be based on real feelings.

Marriage is still very far off for any of us(I'm 23 and she's 21)
But as I said we agreed on a stable relationship that's based on real feelings and not just sex or pleasure.

5. As I said, the fact that she shared her intimate pictures with me makes me think of her as cheap or unserious and I've talked to her about it.

What I'm saying is I need advice
Not from BROSTITUTES whose only life ambition is to sex any woman they see

Not from immature or inexperienced people
But from responsible men and women, who have something tangible to say.

I know I'm young and I know there's time for relationships but she's different in a way.

The others I've seen have nothing in their head and expect me to take care of their needs like am a philanthropist.

And besides she's the first girl I've ever gone this deep with, I've never touched her, we met online and she's willing to come visit. And she has a side hustle (she's into catering and sometimes she asks me for advice on how to scale and make money from it)

She also has similar views as me when it comes to managing money and creating something tangible for ourselves.

I am NOT a womaniser, I have never placed importance on women and I have always prioritised my self development, health,finance and morals.

But they say you can't cheat nature, a man will always find companionship and I am here so the OG's and help me out (or talk me out of it)

Please help