₦airaland Forum

Whatwould you think of a man who asks his girlfriend for a child while eluding the subject of marriage? Although she made ut clear that her education and principles would refrain her from establishing such a lifestyle he still persists indicating that mariage could be arranged later. He is gettibg older and now has pressure to produce a child it seems yet none to get married, vaguely mentioned to her that men easily loose social benefit payments in the uk once married and thathis own parents back home were never married but yet went on to produce large family althought now separated,
Has the status of baby daddy become a preferred status for men? Anyone had similar experiences? Men: care to share some male perspective? Do u believe he intends on ever settling down? Should she move on and retain her values?

Why cant it be the other way too?

Yeah i'm sure! Got my own dramaaaaaa

True, thats exactly what i told her,

What is it to do with having respect for the man? It is not like she forced herself! The guy invited her! It is more a question of respect for herself!

There is a difference between being in shape and being thin/slim. A woman call be curvy but still be in shape and flexible and all that wahala when it comes to bedroom sport! (ask Jay Z and Marc Anthony!!!!!)
As for men, the pot belly before the age of 50 is unacceptable

Dear Nairalanders,

I am at loss to find the proper piece of advice for this friend of mine who finds herself in a tricky situation, please help! She started dating this guy 9 months ago and 4 months into the relationship the guy moved to another city for work. Since she lived alone and was trying to save some cash, when the guy suggested that she moved into his place in the meantime she said yes! The guy comes back every we so effectively it is like they live together. He has announced to his family and friends that the girl moved in although she had made it clear it was only on temporary basis. He has started acting her for a child while eludibg the question of marriage. She understandably started feeling a little uncomfortable and enforced the idea of mariage importance to which he responded that his parents had never been married themselves kinda implying that we was ok to replicate that model. He treats her nice in all other aspects byt she is now scared thst she should have retained her independence and principles. I must say that she is nit kiving there rent free and participates in the sharing of expenses. She now has to deal with having hidden her new housibg arrangements to her family wjo now wish to visit soon, she is torn bt moving out and getting her own place as before and re establish some sort of balance which would inevitabky break her partners heart and plans it seems or stick to the current arrangements,
I personally beluve that she should move, it is never too late to rectify, the guy will know to do the right thing if he is meant for her, any thoughts?

EbonyVibe i hear you oohhhh

Thank you all for your thoughtful contributions!

I am by no means portraying myself as an angel, but I have just never been with a man who sees no problem in "asking". I mean I have even dated the 50/50 type, but even that seemed more balanced that this, do you guys honestly think that sitting with him and designing an expense sheet will help? The guy will be 40 in three years and may well think it is insulting and belittling,

I will find a way yes! I often give in when he starts mentioning that he is going to have to resort to either his mother - who still works but does not sit on a mountain of cash - or his younger sisters still at university, or better yet his colleagues. I cannot stand the shame and just wonder whether he will ever change. I was brought up in an environment where all my siblings - both boys and girls - we taught to always hold their own and I do not want my children growing up seeing their father going from door to door casually asking for handouts!

I believe that people sometimes genuinely need help, without exaggeration of course. I hesitate on how to bring up the subject: perhaps ask him NOT to ask me for cash anymore or just let him know that it makes me uncomfortable!

We have been dating for 5 months now and about two months into the relationship, he started borrowing money from me to pay for bills, put gas in the card, by cigarettes and sometimes even food. At that point, he was unemployed. He has since found a job but manages to squander his pay within a week of getting paid. He has since come back to borrow even more from me although he has not repaid in whole what he previously owned me. He has explained that all this paychecks had gone towards settling old debts which I believe but his financially irresponsible lifestyle frightens me. He has started talking about serious commitment while asking me to help top up his phone credit. He is 37 and I am 10 years younger. He is most caring and nice as a person but unstable in the sense where he does not seem to manage to keep a job down, quickly blames the outside world for his failures, says that he is not ashamed to ask for handouts and does not adjust his lifestyle to fit his finances i.e spending money that even people with steady income do not spend. I do not know how to tell him that I find it unmanly for a man to be running around asking for money left and right (he even asks his mother and younger sisters) and that although I would love the idea of settling down, I fear that rushing in with him will end up making me loose my own balance (this month only 1/3 of my salary has already gone out to him). All opinions welcomed. Thanks.