₦airaland Forum

Dajazzyone, I appreciate you too, as your kind replies inspired me to sign up for this site I have long read. I have been in your shoes and I was wrong and I missed out on a good thing – twice! One man was Egyptian and one was Nigerian. I turned them down for marriage because of the green card issue and both got green cards with other women… and both, years later, asked for a chance with me (ran into one on the train and one online, they no longer needed a green card, they needed a good woman who they clicked with) but I was married. Guessing by your replies alone, you are as sweet as they come, which is priceless! You can’t beat a sincere, honest person who looks into your heart before your wallet. Money will come, difficulties will come, too. But as long as you have eachother’s support and understanding, nothing really matters at all. All the best, beloved.

Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe, dear. Stay positive and look with your heart not your eyes. You have a small child who needs you sending love not doubt and suspicion. You can win in this situation if you stay calm, peaceful and positive. Jealousy and negativity with no proof will cause stress. In time, you will all be a family. Nothing can stay hidden forever so don't worry about it. Even if he is married, you can have his heart and the man of your dreams in time, if you play your role and stay patient. It is not about his (phantom or real) marriage, it is about his heart and his intentions. To have a child, he is trying to build something real with you. Keep building unless he destroys those plans. Don't let your mind destroy it alone. Become irreplaceable and irresistible. Some people may not want to see a successful marriage between us Americans and our African Brothers and Sisters. Ignore them, as they ignore the fact that We are one. Our DNA speaks for itself. Dont let people or your own mind kill your joy. Focus on the positives and all the good that has come your way. Love with your heart, not your eyes or even your mind, if your mind is in a doubtful space. Your baby has a father so let's not mess up a good thing, if the father is good to the baby and you. Who cares about what happens back home. These people dont know your man's heart. We dont even know our own heart let alone another person's heart. The well being of the child is the main focus now. That child needs both parents. If he treats you like a queen (which kills some people to see because they can't see their own blessings) then let him treat you like a queen. If you love him, bring peace and respect him as a king. If you want to end it, bring doubt, suspicion, spying or detectives. Don't worry, sis. All will be revealed in time and regardless, it will all be for your benefit because you are pure in heart and have the best intentions. You will WIN in either situation if he get working papers and a good job. That good job will take the stress off and give you some green currency to work with for child support - if the marriage fails for any reason. Forget who is using who. You will be taken care of and your King will be revealed whether it is him or another African. You are in need of each other right now. Keep your sanity and keep your man. Your faith in God alone should suffice. Know that what we put out is what we get back. Nothing anyone does to you will go unpunished or unrewarded. If your faith in God alone doe not suffice, in the end, the law is on your side...but that is in the end....don't rush to the end, dear. I pray you enjoy building with your man and his family; avoid suspicion as it weakens your faith; nothing done against you can prevail for long so don't worry. I pray and advise you to keep praying for your marriage and that you both are in it forever and that you both have joy, peace and love and that your children excel and benefit the most. Ameen.