₦airaland Forum

Ali Modu Sheriff don show face for Aso Rock again like elder wey no need invite before e enter parlour. 🧓🏾🏛️

On Thursday night (Aug 14, 2025), baba Sheriff — former Borno State governor and ex-APC national chairman — waka go visit President Tinubu for Villa. Dem no tell us wetin dem yarn inside closed door, but villa gist say "na cordial meeting" and dem talk national matter (which fit mean anything from insecurity to who go collect what for 2027).

Sheriff don dey Aso Rock like regular customer, always checking in to drop advice like political consultant wey no dey collect receipt. Given say he still hold plenty political weight for North-East, the visit no surprise analysts. E fit even be coded lobbying, strategic repositioning, or just "how far, my man?" between old party padi them.

As dem dey talk for politics:
“When two elephants dey laugh for garden, na the grass wey go hear am.” 🌾🐘

One thing sure — moves dey happen behind the curtain. Stay tuned. 🧐🎭

Na so Edo wahala take bust o! 😤🎭

For Ozolua Model Primary School, drama break out like Nollywood part 2 as PDP agent allegedly do “come collect PVC, no return am” format! Voters wey don ready to shine their ink finger vex enter full Area Boys Association mode when dem realize say “helper” don turn hijacker.

According to one vexed voter, the guy collect card like Good Samaritan, but when he hear say dem wan vote APC’s Omosede Igbinedion, he lock up like NEPA light switch. Wahala con nearly turn Royal Rumble until police land come scatter the ring and cool the matter down. 🥵

This kind stunt na why people dey shout say “election no be do-or-die,” but some party agents dey behave like say dem dey audition for Power Rangers. 🤦🏾‍♂️

As dem dey talk for Benin:
“If you borrow goat for sacrifice, return am before dem call you witch.”

You collect PVC, you no return am, wetin you expect? Cold Pepsi and handshake? Rada rada! PVC na people power, no use am do politics of kidnapping. 🗳️🔥🚨

Dabiri-Erewa don drop better grammar wey sweet for ear like national anthem remix! 🎤📢
She talk say Nigerians wey dey diaspora no just dey japa — dem dey help stitch Nigeria’s torn wrapper from across the ocean, with over $20 billion in remittances and investments like stroke centre for Imo and cancer hospital for Lagos. Na real “away but not astray.” 🌍💵🏥

She yab the people wey dey use Nigeria do bad PR for political clout, say:

> “Una fit try, but una no go fit cancel our global children wey dey invest pass government sometimes!”



Plus, NiDCOM don dey map Naija diaspora like Google Maps — to sabi who dey where, dey do wetin, and how dem dey support mama land. She beg make dem register online sharp-sharp at www.nidcom.ng.gov (we still dey confirm if that dot gov dey double by mistake or e follow format 😅).

As we dey talk for street:
“Na who travel far know say even cow wey waka reach abroad dey sabi use POS.”
Diaspora dey carry Naija for head like gala — time to clap for them abeg! 👏🇳🇬💼

Wahala! Putin just press rewind on the Ukraine war saga and hand Trump the remote! 📺💣
At a press conference in Alaska (of all places), baba Putin look straight into camera and talk say — “Yes o, if na Trump dey White House, all this Ukraine gbege no go happen.”

Trump wey don dey shout this matter like town crier finally get international “I concur!” from Russia’s No. 1 flex master. Whether na sincere alliance or political chess move, one thing clear: Putin just use style endorse Trump as the "war whisperer" — the one wey fit dey room and war go fear show face. 😅

But let’s be real — geopolitical praise from Putin na double-edged sword. To some, e be like compliment; to others, na red flag wey dey wave with Russian accent. 🇷🇺🚩

As dem dey talk for Nigeria:
“If two goats dey play for road, check well — na market dey burn somewhere.”

This “confirmation” from Putin na more than gist — e go scatter table for international politics. 🍿🌍

FTC again? Dedicated to all FX traders worldwide!

Omo today go hot! 🔥
Wolverhampton vs Manchester City dey set for 5:30pm, and na Premier League wahala we dey talk o!

Man City go waka enter like headboy with assignment complete, but Wolves no be learner – dem fit shock person when you least expect. But make we no lie, unless Wolves tie Guardiola leg, Haaland fit collect hat trick like attendance list. 😅⚽

As dem dey talk for street:
“Na who hold ball last go determine who chop pepper soup tonight!”
Grab your popcorn, this one go loud! 🍿⚽🐺🔵

Chei! Na so Nigeria don turn eye clinic to fruit juice ministry! This one na “from optician to Mixologist.” How fake eye doctor go dey treat over 900 people with Zobo and olive oil combo, like say na salad dressing he dey prepare? 😂

Gabriel Gideon — the Dr. Smoothie for the eyes — just carry innocent villagers do trial version of Tropicana Eye Drops. ₦500 per head? Multiply by three villages? Bros dey run Buy One, Go Blind for Free promo o! 😭

As dem dey talk for Akwa Ibom: “Person wey no sabi road no suppose hold torchlight lead for night.” How you go dey blind, come go give your last eye to man wey no get certificate, only blender?

Kudos to the police and Ministry of Health for saving eyeballs before all the villages begin waka like Mr. Magoo. Na only for Naija wey man fit open "Clinic of the Holy Vitamin Juice" and still gather crowd. This country strong! 👁️🍊💧

Na wah o! FG and PINL don join hand bust illegal refinery like say na film — dem shout say community make support dem, no break equipment, and collect scholarship like peace offering. But make we reason am — na only when pipe don leak dem dey remember community? 😂

PINL dey do security waka like James Bond, but the real wahala be say if dem no give those boys wey dey cook fuel small better job, na new illegal refinery go rise by next week. As dem talk for Naija, "you no fit use broom sweep sand comot for beach."

Scholarship sweet, yes — but hunger no dey wait for WAEC result. Make dem no just dey bust refinery, dem suppose dey build better life too. Otherwise, one day, na the pipeline security go need security. 😅

Gov. Alex Otti don carry first for this one o! E just do correct “abeg make teacher sef enjoy” package — employ 5,394 teachers, post dem go schools, come still tell dem say “if where we post you far like Sambisa, abeg come back make we adjust.” Na this kind governor wey sabi say na where person stretch leg well, e go fit teach well.

As dem talk for Naija, “if goat dey sweat, no be say e dey dance, e fit be say rope too tight.” Otti no wan tie teacher like goat — e wan make dem dey where dem go fit shine chalk without vex.

And the sweetest part? E don put dem for payroll sharp-sharp — no “come tomorrow” salary promise. Otti dey play sense ball, e no dey do governance like say na punishment. E clear say di man dey reason like teacher wey don taste lesson note and hunger together.

Here’s the Premier League match schedule — Liverpool vs. Bournemouth kicks off the 2025–26 season:

Game Rundown & Highlights

Kick-off: Friday, August 15, 2025 at Anfield. Starts at 8:00 pm BST (3:00 pm ET) .

What's at stake: Liverpool begin their title quest after a summer spending spree nearing €300 million in new signings — Wirtz, Ekitiké, Frimpong, and Kerkez are all gearing up to make their Premier League debuts.

Emotional backdrop: The match carries added poignancy, as the club will pay tribute to the late Diogo Jota — his No. 20 shirt has been retired, with “Forever 20” featured on kit designs all season.

Liverpool's stats edge:

Undefeated in their last 12 season openers and 9 wins in those.

Dominant at home against Bournemouth — last four league wins totaling 23–2. Opta gives Liverpool a 69.4% chance to win.

Salah remains a nightmare opponent: he holds the record for most Premier League goals on opening days and has netted more against Bournemouth than any other player.

Na Liverpool dey Jaga jaga reign!

Dem don scatter money buy stars like Wirtz and Ekitiké, dem go don ready to kuku dance premiere for Anfield.

Meanwhile, dem don retire Jota’s No. 20 — mark of respect, baba belong. Data na clear head start for them: Liverpool never lose Day 1 in 12 years, dem don dey treat Bournemouth like training ball.

Salah sef dey ready, e get opening-day form pass Paris.

If dem no bamboozle, Anfield go turn party ground tonight.

tnerro1:
Na wa for you , you manage get FTC, you come use am write very long story 😂

If na me, I for just say “thanks and peace out ✌️ “😂😂

Like you know say I manage get am o!

For the next ten years I dey okay as I Don write the epistle for FTC o!

Na so ball no be only for field again — Fisayo Dele-Bashiru don dribble enter marriage net as e marry him fine Moroccan babe, Nada Bensouna, for quiet Nikkah wey happen for Manchester.

As dem talk for Warri, when ball enter net, no be only goal, e fit be wedding too.

Bros rock him native, madam wear her Moroccan caftan, everybody dey smile like dem just win World Cup.

Now we go dey watch if e go score more goals for Lazio or for house.

See as wahala dey — Indian man kidnap students finish, still get mind push blame go give Nigerians.

As Yoruba go talk, eni to je eran, ko wipe aja lo je (person wey chop meat no suppose say na dog chop am).

Now court wan collect him voice sample make dem match am with ransom calls — evidence go soon talk pass mouth.

Some people just believe say if you drag “Nigerian” enter your crime gist, na automatic cover, but e go shock am when lab result no follow the lie.

Chai! Police wey suppose catch goat thief don turn goat thief — as Warri people go talk, na who suppose dey guard pot of soup no suppose dey use hand dey taste am.

PC Usman don use him own hand spoil him uniform, now dem don collect am back plus ID card, salary don waka, and record don get permanent red ink.

Next time, make he remember say goat no be evidence, and police station no be barn.

Talismann:
all this long epistle untop FTC. You think those wey dey suffer for that road right now get time for this grammer.

No worry, seun go soon make comments 100,000 characters minimum, you go type tire that time.

Wetin dem wan use their time do as no movement dey?

Make dem just relax dey read comments for nairaland.

I ready for Seun, any road wey him wan follow.

boxypane:
The annoying part is that they don't engage those criminals ooo

My brother, na true you talk.

Dem go leave real bandits for bush, come dey do ‘checkpoint audition’ for innocent motorists.

E be like say for Naija, catching soft target sweet pass chasing real criminals.

Wow!!! FTC for the first time ever! This is dedicated to all real hustlers out there! May all you touch turn to GOLD!

This Abuja–Lokoja shutdown is a textbook example of how systemic extortion by security agencies can quickly snowball into a national logistics crisis.

1. Economic choke point – The Abuja–Lokoja road isn’t just a busy highway; it’s a strategic artery linking the FCT to key southern and north-central states. Blocking it means halting fuel, goods, and passenger movement across a large swath of the country. Every hour of this gridlock translates into direct economic loss — fuel wastage, perishable goods spoiling, and delays in supply chains.

2. Security–economy paradox – The same security presence that’s supposed to ensure safety has become the very reason for the protest. When checkpoints turn into toll booths, it erodes public trust and pushes law-abiding operators into confrontation with the state. Worse, if drivers start avoiding certain routes, it could embolden criminal actors like kidnappers who exploit the reduced security coverage.

3. Public safety risk – With night approaching and traffic still immobilized, travellers are exposed to higher risks of roadside robbery or abduction. The Abuja–Lokoja axis is already notorious for such incidents, meaning this standoff isn’t just inconvenient — it’s dangerous.

4. Policy gap – Extortion at checkpoints is an old, well-documented problem, yet enforcement measures to stop it are either weak or nonexistent. Unless there’s a systemic cleanup of highway policing, incidents like this will keep recurring, with lasting economic and reputational costs for the country.

Bottom line: The tanker drivers’ protest is a symptom, not the disease. Unless government tackles the root cause — illegal levies and abuse of authority on highways — we’ll keep seeing this same cycle of blockage, economic loss, and public insecurity.

This Abuja–Lokoja wahala na like when gatekeeper wey suppose guard compound turn to landlord wey dey collect rent from everybody.

Tanker drivers don vex say every checkpoint na ₦5k “pass ticket,” sometimes up to six before Lokoja — na who wan dey dash police ₦30k per trip?

Dem just park tanker block road, turn express to car park.

Now passengers don dey sweat under sun, fear night come because kidnappers no dey do “sleep early.”

If government no stop this checkpoint chop-chop, na so we go dey repeat this same traffic film every year.

This case is a mix of legal scope, political optics, and public perception.

1. Jurisdiction reality – The Canadian judge’s ruling didn’t have the power to “officially” label APC or PDP as terrorist organizations under Nigerian or international law. The classification was made only within the context of Canadian immigration law to assess an asylum claim. From a legal standpoint, it applies in Canada’s refugee system, not globally.

2. Political spin – APC’s reaction frames the judge as ignorant and racist, which might play well domestically but sidesteps the fact that Canadian authorities cited specific allegations of political violence and electoral bloodshed. That suggests the problem isn’t the label itself, but the documented incidents that made it possible in a foreign court.

3. Reputational issue – Even if the ruling has no binding effect in Nigeria, the optics are damaging internationally. If multiple credible sources keep associating Nigerian political parties with violence, it risks shaping how investors, foreign governments, and the diaspora perceive the country’s political system.

4. Bigger takeaway – Instead of focusing only on dismissing the judge’s authority, addressing the underlying allegations of political violence would be more effective in the long run. Perception in international law isn’t just about what’s “true” — it’s also about what’s credible.

This wahala na like when your neighbor call you “thief” for him compound — e no fit arrest you for your own house, but e fit make other neighbors dey watch you with side-eye.

Canada court no get power label APC or PDP terrorist for Naija, na only for their asylum gist dem talk am.

But instead of clear ground and wash hand from the violence story wey give Canada that idea, APC don vex call judge “ignoramus” like say insult go change report.

For international image matter, no be who shout pass dey win, na who fit clean the stain wey dey shirt.

This kind of “Whose Report Will You Believe” framing is a classic example of selective presentation and appeal to authority. It tries to tilt perception in two ways:

1. Credential bias – By emphasizing the academic achievements of Soludo and Okonjo-Iweala while downplaying Peter Obi’s as “petty trader” and “second class graduate,” it invites people to dismiss his position before even engaging with his argument. That’s an ad hominem tactic — attacking the person’s status instead of weighing the merit of their economic claims.

2. Cherry-picking – Listing positive statements from respected figures while reducing dissent to a single, negatively framed voice gives an illusion of consensus. In reality, economic performance can have both positive macro indicators (e.g., GDP growth, forex stability) and negative ground-level effects (e.g., high cost of living, unemployment). Both can be true at once, depending on which data points you focus on.

The real question shouldn’t be “Whose report will you believe?” but “What data backs each report?” Because in economics, feelings and titles don’t move the market — hard numbers do.

This one na clear case of “use certificate size shame opponent.”

Dem don package Soludo and Okonjo-Iweala with Harvard and First Class like gala and Coke, then serve Obi as “petty trader with second class” like e no sabi market maths.

But for economy matter, e no be who get biggest degree go win gist — na who fit show us the real numbers wey match wetin we dey feel for street.

Because for Naija, GDP fit dey smile while your pocket dey cry.

Ah! Senator talk say if him drop all him salary and allowance for table, in one week you go dey borrow money give am?

As Warri people go talk, na who chop belle full dey shout say food no sweet.

For Naija where minimum wage no fit buy one bag of rice, hearing say politicians dey “suffer” go make some people nearly choke on garri.

But sha, him try end am with “we must use it to better our people lives” — hopefully no be only for interview microphone e go end.

TheBizGenius:
Hmmmm.

From the comments here, I have realized that most people who make comments on nairaland are either secondary school students, undergrads or school drop outs.

Anyone who has gone through NYSC as a program would understand this issue is plainly basic.

And the girl saying they denied her to sign? Habaaa. In this generation of social media? I trust that she would have made a recording when she was denied, specifically for days like these.

Nairaland sha. Person just tire for the people here.

Exactly! Some people just dey talk from vibes and Wi-Fi.

If you never wear khaki and march go clearance ground under hot sun, you go think NYSC rules na TikTok trend wey you fit skip.

Evidence go always speak louder than online sympathy.

E be like say this Raye matter don turn pure “two fighting” between gossip and procedure — as Igbo go talk, onye ajụrụ iwu, ajụrụ onwe ya (person wey ignore law, na e ignore imself). NYSC don yan say no be politics, na normal disciplinary waka because madam miss biometric clearance.

But for Naija, once politics smell small, everybody go carry am like hot suya. Make we just talk true — whether you like Tinubu or no, NYSC rules no dey care for sentiment; if you miss clearance, na extension sure pass.

Ah! So na like this fart get full CV wey pass some people LinkedIn profile — as Yoruba go talk, eni ti ko tu, inu re ko ni bale (person wey no release, e belle no go rest).

Who know say ordinary “bum trumpet” fit get speed like Usain Bolt, carry health benefits, and even come with gender differences?

Next time somebody unleash one, instead make you vex, just remember say dem dey contribute to science, medicine, and maybe small comedy too.

Hmm, Okija shrine matter na real-life episode of “power meets juju” — as Warri people go talk, if you no fear God, you go fear who fear God.

That place don chop both ordinary man and big man, turning culture wey suppose protect community into political AK-47.

Ngige gist just show say sometimes leadership no be only about policies, e fit also be about dragging society out from under the shadow of fear and manipulation wey dey hide behind tradition.

Ushame:
no warri person says that. I was born and raised in warri. Stop this fake attribution.

Omo, you sure say you grow for Warri? Because e be like say na Warri grow pass you. Some of we proverb dey coded pass your street.

You fit born for Warri, raise for Warri, but no be every Warri gist dey enter everybody pocket. Some na VIP talk — if you no sabi, just bone.

Warri no be only about where you dey live, e dey about where your sense dey waka. If you never hear am, no mean say e no dey, e just dodge your ear.

Chai, this Onitsha Port matter na like person wey get fine big pot of soup but no firewood to cook am — as Igbo go talk, ewu nwuru n’oba ji, ọ bu kwa ihe ojoo (goat wey die inside barn full of yam, na bad luck be that).

Infrastructure dey, demand dey, but without regular dredging, the River Niger just dey behave like stubborn landlord wey open gate only during rainy season.

If government fit make dredging a steady habit, this port no go just be seasonal photo-op; e go turn to full-time money-making machine wey fit decongest our roads, boost trade, and even make farmers smile reach ear.

Na true Onyema talk be this — as Yoruba go say, omi lo ma n gba ki agba ma wo (na water dey support boat make e no sink).

If government fit open that special forex window for airlines, e go save dem from early “RIP” wey don carry plenty local operators before.

Air Peace don show say integrity fit still dey fly for Nigerian sky, but without cheaper rates and better infrastructure, even the best pilot go dey struggle like keke for express.

Government support plus operator discipline? Na that combo fit make our airlines no just survive, but dey cruise steady.

Ah! This one na correct talk wey get sense inside — as Hausa go talk, idan ka shuka da hankali, za ka girbe da annashuwa (if you plant with wisdom, you go harvest with joy).

E no be only to give farmers money, na to give dem brain tools wey go make the money multiply.

If dem fit join food security with job creation, e go be like killing two fat antelopes with one stone.

Abeg, make we see action follow all this fine grammar, before e turn to another “promise wey belle no chop.”

Ehen! This YouthCred gist sweet pass free jollof — single-digit interest, no collateral, no guarantor?

As Warri people go talk, if you no hold your side, na your pocket go hear am.

Government don finally remember say youths no just need motivational quotes, dem need small “ginger money” wey go turn dream to reality.

But abeg, make una remember say credit no be free awoof, e get repayment date — no use am go do “big boy weekend” finish come dey find who collect your sleep.

Chai! Na so dem wan use “agbado story” take drag Dr. Jamoh name enter APC matter wey e no even talk — as Igbo go yan, onye ajụjụghị, agaghị egbu ya (na wetin you no talk no suppose kill you).

E be like some people just dey cook media pepper soup with extra salt wey nobody order.

Abeg, make una no mind them, because this one na pure “carry me go where I no know” journalism.

American Hunter Travels To Africa To Hunt A Buffalo But Was Killed By The Bufallo?

Wow! Ah! This one na true example of “na who dey find wahala go jam wahala” — as wey Yoruba go talk, eni to n wa ikoko eru, a ri eja to mo.

My guy fly go South Africa go find buffalo trouble, buffalo come reply am sharp-sharp like say na loan collector wey no dey smile.

E be like buffalo tell am, “Oga, for here we no dey sign handshake agreement, na head-to-head negotiation!”

Bro, this one na real spiritual fork in the road. Make I yarn you small as a brother looking out for you:

First of all, your instinct to invite her to church no be bad thing — that na your core belief, and you wan see if una dey spiritually aligned. But as she respond say she be traditionalist and even call herself Ezewanyi, e clear say her spiritual path dey very different from yours.

She talk say if she enter church, she go fall sick — that one no be joke talk o. Whether na psychological, spiritual, or both, she strongly believe in her traditional path. That kain strong conviction dey deep, and you no go fit just "pray it away" unless she truly desire change from her heart (which she no even hint at).

Omo, here’s the thing:

If your foundation na Christ and you dey look for partner wey go walk that faith road with you — pray together, grow together, raise godly kids — then this relationship go get serious wahala down the line.

Love without spiritual agreement na like building house on quicksand — e go fine at first, but e no dey last storm.

Also, she no hide who she be. She dey bold, which I respect — but no let her boldness make you second-guess your own convictions.

My guy advice?
Respect her beliefs, but also be honest with yourself:
Do you want to compromise your walk with God for a woman who already talk say she no go fit follow you spiritually?

If the answer na “no,” then kindly bow out before emotions go deep pass sense. Relationship no be missionary work.

But if you truly feel led to keep engaging her, then make sure you don wear your full spiritual armor — because na battle you dey enter, not picnic.

God go guide you, bros. Just no ignore red flags because of fine face or soft voice. ✌️

Hahahaha! Dis Gyokeres matter don scatter ground like NEPA wire! See as some people don turn full-time losers for dis Arsenal gbege. Make I yan you:

1. Manchester United:
Dem think say dem go use Bruno, Cunha, Mbeumo plus Gyokeres take do Avengers Assemble. But Gyokeres look dem finish, wipe face, waka go Arsenal. Omo, na heartbreak with small cough remain make dem send am “We move” message for DM. 😂

2. Sporting CP:
Dem raise Gyokeres like baby goat, now dem sell am like akara wey no get pepper. Dem nor even chop beta money join. Arsenal just use sweet mouth carry striker like thief for night. Dem go dey look front and back now dey find goals like fuel for black market. 😭

3. Rúben Amorim:
Baba bin dey reason say Gyokeres go follow am waka like loyal houseboy, but Gyokeres ghost am like bad network. Now e dey look pitch like “God, abeg give me striker wey sabi shoot.” Bros don dey pray make another goal-machine fall from heaven. 😂

4. Other Clubs (Chelsea, Milan, Atletico):
All of una gather dey toast one babe (aka Gyokeres), Arsenal enter with bouquet and lyrics, collect babe sharp sharp. Now una dey group chat dey type “We never really liked him sha.” Una dey lie! 😂

5. Man United Fans:
Dem don carry Gyokeres matter put for heart like native padlock. Every match dem go dey monitor am like FBI. If e miss one chance, dem go shout, “Na why we no wan sign am sef!” But deep down, dem dey cry with Arsenal jersey inside drawer. 😂

Life no balance o! But as e be like dis, na Arsenal fans dey pop champagne, others dey sip cold zobo of regret. 🍾🥴