₦airaland Forum

Abojupupa: ...and if you feel uncomfortable, discuss the issue with him. Let him see ur point without necessarily making him feel guilty or making you proud/domineering.

I have a lot of times. He apologises, and pleads with me to bear with him.
But after sometime, it becomes business as usual.
After the service and home travel, I travelled to lag for an interview and stopped by to see him.
I paid for my lunch and still went back to my cousin's place without a "Babe please manage this 100 bucks I don't have much on me but it's well"
I felt really bad.
I wanted to give him some money but changed my mind since I didn't see any atom of care for my welfare from him.

dBard: Ok, first of all.. He Is Not Ur Fiance until he makes himself ur fiance.
Then..
I 've to admit, I see where ur coming from..if I was dating a girl f a while that has never offered t cook f me or sumtin, I mite b a bit like

But on d oda hand, u need t realize, some things we feel r so important n r 'Red lights', turn out not t b so important eventually.

People are different n their methods differ as well.
He's ur date..is he like that naturally or just towards u. Also, he mite just ve a different way of showing it than wat ur expecting.
Even if he is..u should ve studied him well enough t be able t bypass his dfenses n get ish from him easily.
I take it he does spend but not as much as u would like.

Speak t him as well. .simple communication goes a long way

Ps; am in a serious relationship n I am not even sure wat bank she banks with..
Does that mean I dont care about her
Its up to u.

I don't really need things from him because I know he doesn't have it.
I just need him to "man-up" and be in charge the little way he can.
I understand when he tells me he doesn't have money for calls yet he expects me to call him 5 times since he doesn't have chips to call. Even when he does, he complains if I don't call him or call him just once.
I feel he's suppose to understand too and try make it less stressful on me.

dahmie2013: Haba OP, ur bf is a job seeker&u xpect him 2 ask 4 ur acct num? Try&be patient with him till he gets a job, den u can nw judge his attitude. Besides, d last thin on his mind is love, all his head is thinking is money, money&more money. Think u're being insensitive.

If u can't be patient, den quit&get a man ur own status.

I know my reference to account no sounds corny. I said that because it's a long distance relationship. I don't have the privilege of going out with him to have fun. We just have to make do with phone calls.

He's working though but the pay is peanut. I encouraged him to take it for experience sake.

Abojupupa: @ reddress, ur bf is a jobseeker, why should he ask for ur acct no. when he has nothing to deposit there? He tells u hw much he cares nd buys you recharge cards when you ask him. I think you should give him a chance: if he has more, he will do more. If he gets a good job and he is still the same, then ask him. Patience!

Thanks for understanding.
Honestly I've been patient and still willing to be cause he's such a nice guy. But, yesterday he told me he paid 3200 for a swipe card in the church and I was amazed.
Inside I felt he has this kind of money for this.
If the table was turned around I would give him that money if he needs it rather than spend it on a card that gives me access into a church.

Another reason I get scared is that I travelled about 5hrs to see him whilst we were serving but he didn't even add anything to my transport back. I felt it was because of the misunderstanding we had but he repeated it when I travelled to him at home after service.

He sowed all his service money into the church. Can you imagine that?

dBard:

An age limit should be set for dating t save us from threads like this...
Moving a motion f 22yrs

Any seconds

dBard I assure you I'm older than that.
That's actually why I'm beginning to get worried. Whilst we were in school I ignored this attitude because I felt he's just a student.
But we are both more matured now and I expected this attitude to change.

He has intentions of getting married to me when he gets a better job that's why I feel its not right for someone you see as your "fiance".
I spend on him even when I don't have but have decided to stop it so he doesn't get too comfortable with it.
We both know I don't need his money but I feel it shows he can be there for me and he has me in mind too.
I hope you understand where I'm coming from.

I've been dating my guy for about 7yrs now.
He hardly buys me stuff or show me that he cares except via speeches.
He's a very nice and Godly person but I'm scared that he might never see me as his reponsibilty if I get married to him.
My boyfriend doesn't even have my acct no.
I'm an independent person naturally but I don't feel its okay not to care for the woman you claim to love.
He only sends me recharge card ones in while and I send too when he asks for it.
I know he's a job seeker but is 1k too much for a lady you are dating?, at least it shows you care.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm being insensitve.
Please I need your honest opinion.