₦airaland Forum

Double0h7:
You didn't tell us if your children have the disease? Was your wife AS or AA! Why are you sorry and what do you regret? If your kids are healthy then it was all a win but if you brought children into the world with the same condition as you then that's a huge regret to have. I just want to know what the children's status is because if it's bs love that has writing all this then it ain't that serious.

They’re both AS

Rollingdollar:
You should have be at peace with the real you and be proud of your identity. Self love first and others would give you same.

I wish

Oriyomin25:
First of all, may God almighty heal you, remove your pains and grant you good health.

Even though you didn't mention bad luck but i want you to understand that everything you are going through is not bad luck, it's predestined and God knows best (that's if you believe in God).

When you leave the hospital bed, God willing, please take away regrets from your thoughts, take time to take care of your yourself and most importantly, your Mother. You may have reduced the number of times you visit or call her after becoming a family man, please start again and this time, try to make her happy as much as you can (May God give you the strength).. You'll think you are sad, but deep down she's the one living in regret, for bringing you into this world full of pains.

If you can achieve this two things, look for your ex wife and apologies, make peace with your children and if possible, let them visit you once in a month and pay some of their bills (to their mum of course).
If you can't find her, continue to make yourself happy and that of your mum, and importantly, please pray.

May Allah ease your affairs.

Thank you

Maitunbi:
Lol. Just to be clear, sir... About how many "worst crisis of your life" did you have in total?

I think Max of 3 to date. Currently with the worse complications

Starz825:
For me..I no see anything bad for here

The abeke lady don already get plans to leave you after 2 kids which she did...so .. what's the fuzz here...you married a fraud... though you lied too...so no genuineness between you too...

U even said ...do not take love for granted....do you even know the meaning of Love

The true meaning of Love is the summary of the one who died on the cross...and where it was clearly written...Love your God with all your heart and love your neighbour as yourself...

Any other love apart from this is FAKE...especially for naija...wey everyone dey find wetin chop

All this toxic/rubbish/selfish love wey he na dey do for Nigeria...no be love ...
Na why most of huna dey marry rubbish every Saturday... mtcheew..

No comment

Gr8mind07:
I had to read all over again. The only lady I think you really offended here is your wife. I hope she finds a place in her heart to forgive you

I also pray the you experience the miracle you desire bro.

Amen

Emmy000seun:
I'm short of words, but this your story is touching...one thing about life is, don't fake anything your health, finances, social status just everything about you.. it comes back to hurt as yours... what belongs to you will surely be..so any foundation you lay with lies will surely collapse..👌💯..but their is hope when their is life, firstly seek forgiveness from God for your wrong doings has you have accepted it's wrong...then stay focus and am sure their is a second chance..

Thanks

immortalcrown:
1.
You didn't tell us whether you wedded without your genotype test result or you wedded with a forged result.

2.
God can forgive your lies. Humans can as well forgive your lies. But the world has a way of making consequences inevitable.

May it be well with you from now on.

I make sure I did her test several times before even thinking of wedding and she doesn’t ask for mine. I would have presented a fake results if she insisted though

This is the most difficult thing I've ever had to write. But I have to say it. Perhaps someone can learn from my mistakes. Perhaps the woman I have hurt the most will read this and understand. Maybe, just maybe, she will find it in her heart to forgive me, not for my benefit, but for the sake of our children.

The Secret I Kept was born with sickle cell disease, but you couldn't tell by looking at me. My mother made sure of that. She fought for me, worked constantly to gives me the best medical treatment she could afford, and did everything she could to ensure that I lived a normal life.

Because of her, I never appeared sick. I never behaved sick and difficult for people to know about it And this made me promised myself that I'd keep it hidden as long as I could. I rarely experienced significant crises, and when I did, I handled them perfectly.

I refused to let my sickness to define me. But deep down, I understood what I was going through, I understood what it meant. Nevertheless, I made the worst decisions of my life.

The problem began when it was time to date, and it was compounded by a lot of family pressure to bring someone, as well as the prevalent idea that individuals like us do not last. Then I realised a terrible reality: I rarely met ladies with the AA genotype. And the few people I did meet were either not my "type" or not what I was searching for. So I did something unforgivable. I hid the truth. I'd ask ladies about their genotypes, but when they asked about mine, I'd dodge the question. I would acquire what I wanted from them and then depart. Over and over again.

Only two of the women I ever dated knew my genotype before I married. Despite knowing this, they wanted to stay. But I pushed them away. One of them was AS. She was a Jehovah's Witness, and she told me that her faith permits her to carry on with me despite the hazards. But I could not let her stay. I knew what my parents had gone through, and I couldn't face the notion of seeing my own children suffer as I had. I walked away. It was so difficult to breakup with her but I had to made the tough decision which made her fainted right in front of me and hospitalized for several day’s.

The second woman… I met her at her workplace. I didn’t know she was pregnant at the time. I kept asking her out until one day, she looked at me with frustration and said, “Are you blind? Can’t you see I’m pregnant?” I apologised, and somehow, we became friends. Her baby’s father abandoned her. I stepped in. I paid for almost everything during her pregnancy, and I grew attached to her, to the child, and to the idea of us being a family. But when the baby turned one and I asked her out again, she refused. She said we were family, but not in that way. Her rejection broke me, and I blocked her and told her never to contact me again. But fate had its own plans. We met again six months later, and this time, she admitted she liked me but was afraid. She had been abandoned once before. She didn’t want to go through it again. We started dating. But I was still a coward. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her about my condition.

So I took her to my doctor and let him do it for me. She accepted me and loved me despite everything, and we planned to marry. But love wasn’t enough. She was stubborn, fiery, and difficult. She fought dirty when she was angry, and she never backed down. I started to fear what would happen if we ever had a real fight. I knew that if she ever lost control, I wouldn’t be able to defend myself. The day I took her to meet my parents was the day everything fell apart. She showed them a side of herself that I had never seen before. She nearly hit me in front of them. My parents had seen enough. They told me, “This woman is not for you.” I loved her, but I knew they were right. Marriage is more than love.

So I had another chance. But I committed the biggest error, which still haunts me to this day. A mistake. Under pressure to move on, I began speaking with another woman. She was different. She was nice, sophisticated, and understanding—everything I believed I needed in life. For over two years, we dated. During that time, something unusual happened: I never got sick. Not even once.

It felt like a miracle. Like maybe, just maybe, I was free. Because of this, I didn’t tell her my genotype. I convinced myself I didn’t need to… We had a beautiful wedding. And for six months, everything was perfect. Then, like a cruel joke, reality hit. I had the worst crisis of my life. I thought I was going to die. Lying in that hospital bed, I finally told her the truth. She cried so much. Not because I was sick, but because I had lied. She told me, “I would have married you anyway. I just wish you had told me.”By then, she was already pregnant. And for the first time in my life, I felt relief. If I died, at least I would have left something behind. A child. A legacy.

Everything was going well until we had a second child, and like before, everything appeared to be fine until it wasn't. She changed. I assumed it was the stress of childbirth, but I was mistaken. Something seemed wrong. She was distant, frigid, and unique. Then I discovered the truth. She hadn't planned to stay with me. Her goal was simple: have two children and then depart. She did not desire a husband. She wanted to be a single mother. I knew. I saw the messages. I overheard the conversations. But I remained hopeful. I hoped I might persuade her to reconsider.

Then, the worst thing happened. Her behaviour got to me, and I got sick again. It was the worst crisis of my life, and I am still struggling to survive it.

People whispered that someone was behind it, and that they wanted me gone. All fingers pointed at her. I refused to believe it. I understand my body. I understand my illness. This was only my reality. What crushed my heart, however, was not the illness, but her reaction. She left me. She left when I was still in the hospital bed, battling for my life. She never looked back.

I know I am to blame. I lied. I was selfish. I made choices that hurt people. And in the end, I lost everything. This is my apology, not just to my ex-wife but to every woman I deceived and every person I hurt. Abeke, if you are reading this, I am sorry. From the depths of my soul, I am sorry. I know I failed you. I know I broke your trust. And I know things will never be the same again. I am not asking for you to come back. I am not even asking for your forgiveness. I just want you to know that I regret everything.


To everyone reading this, please learn from my mistakes. Be honest. Be brave. Do not let fear lead you into selfish decisions. And above all, never take love for granted. Please share this. I am not strong enough to come out and say it publicly, but she will know it’s me when she reads this. I have lost so much, but if I can save one person from making the same mistakes, then maybe—just maybe—this pain will have meant something.