In every relationship, no matter how healthy or successful the relationship, there’s usually one misunderstanding or the other from time to time. By misunderstanding, I don’t mean that it has to be a heated fight.

A misunderstanding, according to the Oxford English Dictionary simply means, failure to understand something correctly or having a disagreement. Realistically, this is always bound to happen in every relationship.

In such situations, the appropriate thing to do is to talk it out, without, fighting or verbal abuses. The way one of mentor likes to say it is that, when it comes to relationship or marriage matters, men are physically powerful while women are verbally powerful. By this, he means that a woman’s mouth can make or break her relationship, while the man has the tendency to be physically abusive.

We have seen situations where there is a misunderstanding between a couple, the lady just says one very hurtful word to her man(verbal power) and the next thing you know, the man unleashes his strength on her(physical power).

It is never justified for a man to hit a lady or use verbally abusive words on her based on things she has told him out of vulnerability to the man she loves.

So, the bottom line is this, when you don’t see eye to eye with your partner on certain issues, and you’re trying to talk it out- mind what you say or do. Respect must always come first as it has to do with someone you claim you love.

That’s why I always advice ladies to date a like minded, mature man. Well, that’s a story for another time where I’ll talk about it in details. But if you need information on it right away, feel free to contact me.
Back to our gist, listed below are 3 things true lovers never say to each other, no matter the height of their misunderstanding.

1. Stop being childish
This statement means you are downgrading your partner or outrightly saying they are not mature. If you knew he wasn’t mature in the first place, why did you date him? And even if he is really being childish, you never make someone change by condemning them. You never correct someone by downgrading or not believing in them.

2. I regret falling in love with you
These words can leave your partner with the thought that, you might easily replace him once you have another option. It leaves doubt and distrust in the heart of your partner even after the disagreement. You know how words are, they are like seeds planted in one’s heart. And they will keep growing. Once you plant positive seeds in the heart of your partner that’s what you will reap and vice versa.

The next moment your phone rings and another guy who is just your friend, starts calling you on the phone, probably he is next to the phone. And he sees this, he immediately feels it’s his replacement that you want to hang out with. Even though by then, the argument must have been over and settled. You may now be happy enjoying your relationship once again, however, that seed you sowed with your words keep coming back to haunt the relationship.

3. You are just like (mentioning a relative with a negative attribute in your partner’s family)
Sometimes we just get so pissed off with something our partner did, and all we can say is; “you’re just like your mother” or you’re just like your wayward cousin”. The use of an insult, such as wayward or useless or good-for-nothing, is not even healthy for relationships to begin with. Refuse to build your relationship with an atmosphere of disregard and abuses.

Your relationship is a foundation for your marriage, please and please, lay it well. You want a home, where your children will grow up in an atmosphere of love and peace , lay the foundation of love and mutual respect now.

Talking about your partner’s family in a bad way, means you haven’t fully accepted them. Truth be told, there’s no 100% perfect human being. We have one flaw or the other that we are trying to improve by the day.
Once you are introduced to your fiancé’s family or he tells you not-so good secret things about them, never use the secret you know to bad mouth him later. This is one of the major reasons why a man will learn to hide things from his wife in future.

Final Words
I know I’ve been referring strictly to ladies all through the post, but all I’ve said goes for you the lady and your man also. Every happy couple, always exercise respect in dealing with each other, both in words and action. That’s why you must not date or marry someone that you cannot respect.