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4. When you say “last card” and your friend gives you pick 3.

3. When you text a babe you like and her boyfriend replies you.

2. When you tell your friends that you’re travelling abroad for the holiday and your parents tell you to pack for village.

1. When you shout the wrong answer in class with confidence.

Nigeria’s basketball team, D’Tigers, had a photo-shoot in Brazil that basically broke the internet.
But we are actually here for the ‘jonzing’ meme Olaseni ‘Shane’ Lawson blessed us with:

10. When your hair finally decides to start growing on your chin but it now refuses to join your sideburns.

9. When the only hair growing on your face is just a useless moustache.

8. You, remembering all the lies your Biology teacher told you about puberty.

7. What your chin looks like if you decide to go months without shaving:

6. How you look at men that actually have and decide to shave it off:

5. When you see an Igbo babe that has more hair on her chin than you.

4. Your face, whenever you see a Gillette ad on TV.

3. You, rubbing methylated spirit and indian hemp on your chin like:

2. When you go to the salon and your barber shaves off the 3 strands you’ve been managing.

1. When hair decides to grow everywhere else on your body except your chin.

President Daniel Arap Moi has urged Kenyans to abstain from sex for at least two years to try to curb the spread of AIDS, newspapers reported today.

Moi was speaking after the government announced plans on Wednesday to import 300 million condoms to fight AIDS, a move which has already run into opposition from religious leaders.

"As a president, I am shy that I am spending millions of shillings importing those things," Moi told a meeting of the Pharmaceutical Society of Kenya on Wednesday.

As a further preventive measure, Moi pleaded with Kenyans to refrain from sex "even for only two years," saying that was the best way to check the epidemic.

Kenyan Health Ministry experts estimate that 700 Kenyans die every day of AIDS, and a further 2.2 million are infected with HIV in a population of 30 million.

Already Against Sex

The government's plans to import the condoms ran into swift opposition from both Christian and Muslim religious leaders who believe the government should be more actively promoting abstinence.

"Committing adultery is against the laws of God and importing condoms will mean that more people will be actively engaged in sex," the Catholic archbishop of the port city of Mombasa, John Njenga, told the East African Standard.

The secretary-general of the Council of Imams and Preachers of Kenya, Sheikh Mohamed Dor, said the country was "committing suicide" importing so many condoms, a move he said would encourage young people to have premature sex.

Long-Awaited Actions

After a slow start, Kenya's government is finally beginning to wake up to the scale of the disaster confronting the East African country as a result of AIDS.

In late 1999, Moi declared the epidemic a national disaster and set up a National AIDS Control Council.

Last month, Kenya's parliament became only the second in Africa to pass legislation which would allow the country to import and manufacture cheap generic medicines.

The Industrial Properties Bill 2001 loosens the patent rights of the global pharmaceutical companies in Kenya in a bid to lower the price of the anti-retroviral drugs used to treat HIV-positive patients.

A bishop was sued by his wife after she caught him sleeping with his niece.

According to reports, a Kenyan preacher identified as Bishop Jonathan Musyoki Muthoka, was accused by his wife of having a sexual relationship with his niece.

The woman Irene Kavata, had secretly installed a CCTV camera in their bedroom and sitting room, which captured the pair while they were ‘enjoying themseves
Irene Katava
According to Irene, her husband who works as a sales manager in a telecommunications firm and is also the presiding bishop of Jesus Liberation Ministry International, had been carrying on a secret affair with the girl whom she brought in to live with them as a house help.

She said she had to separate from her husband for a month as a result of his infidelity, and that she has also moved the case to court, in a bid to ensure that he pays for the upkeep of his children.

In a sworn affidavit, Irene revealed how she has endured her husband’s cheating for over the eight years they were married, starting right from their honeymoon.

Narrating her story, here’s what Irene told the Nairobian newspaper below:

“Though my husband’s behaviour with the women was not new to me, I sensed something was totally wrong when he brought in the girl and told me she was his niece (his cousin’s daughter) after our maid left. Theirs was more than that of blood relatives judging by how they held each other.”

Irene said the househelp also got pregnant at one time, only to terminate the pregnancy later. She said she hoped her husband would change:

“I thought he will change after that, but he defended her every move. My suspicion was raised as I noticed they were getting closer. Whenever I left them alone in the sitting room, I would hear funny moans that forced me to start peeping and watch them having sex on the couch.”

Irene’s interest had been raised to the fullest after a plumber who often visited the house for repairs, told her that the relationship between her husband and his niece was not a normal ‘blood’ relationship. This made her take her decision. Read what she said below:

“It is then that I decided to seek help from a CCTV technician who assisted me to fix the cameras. But when I confronted him with the evidence, he became furious and assaulted me"

Btw if you haven't heard about this match you are too young to be on Nairaland
http://omgvoice.com/lifestyle/story-tell-your-children/?geoip&country=NG

12. And so, that was how they scored us 99-1

11. But the cement ball broke his leg so he could never play football again and FIFA banned India from football.

10. Odegbami fire shot but ball turn to hard cement. But the shot had the will of a patriotic Nigerian so he score.

9. Odegbami look up, look down. “Is this how India will disgrace us in our own country? I WEE NOT TAKE EET”

8. Ball turn to meteor, turn to ball of fire, turn to satellite. India don dey lead 99-0

7. Dharmendra fire shot from halfway line, Peter Rufai wan catch am but ball turn to lion head. Rufai run commot 1-0

6. “POPOPO” (That’s the whistle by the way) Match start.

5. Dharmendra told them, score one goal and you have won the match. Nigerian team shouted “CHALLENGE ACCEPTED”

4. The Nigerian team boasted they would win and the Indian team laughed at their folly.

3. Team bus two arrived. Dhamendra, Armitap and errrr… Nagina. The Indian football team.

2. Team bus 1 arrived. Segun Odegbami, Thunder Balogun and Peter Rufai. Team Nigeria

There are stories and there are STORIES.
And we’re about to tell you all because it has been passed down from our parents to us, and you must pass it down to your children and the ones after them.

Major key to be quite honest







So let’s carry on with the story!

1. It was a clear Friday afternoon. Two team buses arrived at the National stadium Surulere for a soccer match.

More later.
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